10 Ways to be a good American
What is important in American today? How can we act to make America safer and stronger and how do we make our commander in chief proud?
1. Pray at least twice a day. Don’t forget to include the soldiers and our President!
2. Consume. Buy gas as much as you need, buy presents for our kids and friends for christmas. This may sound strange to you but it’s actually quite important. We need to keep our economy going. Therefore: Buy as much as you need and can!
3. Buy American cars. Why wants the stupid japanese mini-cars anyway, right? So go out and buy and drive your SUV or Pickup!
4. Don’t criticize the government, because that would weaken our position in the War on Terror!
5. Have kids! Don’t ever abort kids, raise them as strong and decent Americans!
6. Don’t tolerate liberalism. Engage in discussion, have arguments, stick with your opinion until the fight is won. Don’t ever back down. Don’t take sh*t from anybody! Make your opinions known every chance you get! Bumper stickers, t-shirt, signatures….
7. Vote! Vote for God, liberty and justice for all! Vote republican!
8. Put up a flag! Show your patriotism.
9. Open up a website! For example just like this one. Currently the liberals are dominating the internet. But not much longer.
10. Write down and remember all of the above!
Always remember: FREEDOM ISN’T FREE!
Yours,
Shelley
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14 Ways to be a Good Fascist
1. Make constant use of patriotic mottoes, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Fly flags everywhere.
2. Ignore human rights in certain cases because of “need.” Approve of, or at least overlook, torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.
3. Scapegoat racial, ethnic and religious minorities, liberals, communists, socialists, terrorists, etc.
4. Disproportionately support the military with your tax dollars, even when there are widespread domestic problems.
5. Support a male-dominated sexist society. Oppose abortion and homosexuality. Support rigid traditional gender roles.
6. Control the mass media. Censor dissent.
7. Obsess over national security. Use fear to motivate and control the masses.
8. Use the most common religion in the country as a tool to manipulate the masses. Use religious rhetoric or terminology, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to government policy or actions.
9. Protect corporate power, and create a mutually beneficial business/government relationship.
10. Suppress labor unions as a threat to the above mentioned business/government relationship.
11. Show disdain for intellectuals and the arts. Eliminate government funding for the arts, and censor professors and other academics.
12. Give police almost limitless powers to enforce laws. Overlook police abuses and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism.
13. Support cronyism and corruption. Appoint your friends to government jobs regardless of their qualifications. Use government power to protect them from accountability.
14. Hold sham elections. If you can’t do that, manipulate elections with smear campaigns against, or even assassination of opposition candidates. Use legislation to control voting numbers, political boundaries and manipulation of the media. When all else fails, use the judiciary to manipulate or control elections.
There are some many disturbing things about this post that I hardly know where to begin.
OK ….
4. Don’t criticize the government, because that would weaken our position in the War on Terror!
Isn’t a patriotic duty of everyone who supports democracy to criticize there goverment if they genuinley believe the government is wrong, misguided or worse?
As regards consuming, buying big cars and having more children; you are aware that there where roughly a billion people on earth at the start of the 19th century, now there are 6.5 billion and that is expected to be 10 - 14 billion by 2050. You don’t see we have a problem here?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_population#Rate_of_population_increase
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_population#Rate_of_population_increase
In response to the 1st comment: Very interesting, but just not right and useful, I’m afraid.
Brian, I know there are to many people on the planet, but not enough americans. Americans are the good folks, always remember that.
I agree, there are to many coward europeans, to many dirty asians/africans and so on.. But America has to be larger, stronger and tougher!!!
Shelley, you may have missed the point of my post. The issue is that the earth cannot sustain endless population growth, and uncontrolled consumption.
As regards the americans being the “good guys”, most every other nation would disagree. Do their opinions count for nothing?
No. To be honest their opinion does not count at all for me. I believe that Americans are the one and only good guys on the planet.
I know that there are to many people on the planet. Therefore I suggest stopping all aid we send all over the planet and this problem will solve itself.
Millions and Millions of Africans are useless for the planet. They don’t produce, they don’t consume, some of them have the ’sharia’ as law system….. my god.
The world needs more Americans and less people overall.
I see …
So stop the aid and let them die of starvation to reduce the population is that it?
Clever plan.
Why not simply use neutron weapons on large african cities, you know, to help the process along?
What would Jesus do? Let the weak and the hungry starve to death, or put them out of their misery?
What would Jesus do? Let the weak and the hungry starve to death, or put them out of there misery?
WE CAN NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE SUFFERING ON THE PLANET!
If you feed Africans they will have children and you have to feed the children, they will have more children and you have to feed them all. IT HAS TO STOP SOMEWHERE!.
There are limits to our capability. And we are better cruel to a now small number of people than to a very large number of people in 50 years, my God.
I suggest to only give food to africans that have been sterilized. That is the only logical way to approach it.
But Shelley, isn’t the very essence of being a Christian caring for your neighbour? For the weak in society and in the world?
By claiming Christ as your saviour, aren’t you actually taking on all his injunctions to love those who hate you, to do good to those who persecute you? To help the sick, the poor and the hungry.
Or do you not believe all that?
Of course I believe it, but sometimes you have to make sacrafices.
Imagine this: You feed straying cats, they breed and you have more and more and more.. In about 5 years you just don’t have enough money to feed them all.
Would you not prefer to sterilize the cats and feed the view you have now until they die of natural causes?
I am seeing the necessity of sending aid to poor nations, but you just CAN’T ignore the future.
Hmmm … not sure I’m comfortable with comparing humans to cats. Plus, you (or more accuratly we northern hemispherans) are not making any sacrifices, and therein lies the problem.
The link below goes into some detail about how we can help Africa feed itself.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_Agricultural_Policy#Anti-development
So you see, it’s not aid but trade that Africa needs. Fair trade. However the two main global trading blocks, the EU and the US behave in a way that benefits a small minority of their citizens, while starving millions in the developing world.
As Christians, we should be pushing our lawmakers in a direction that benefits the poor, not by aid, but by fair trade. Surely at a minimum we should be doing this?
Finally, as regards sterlisation how would this be decided? Based on income, race, education? Would it be enforced (violently if needed) by the state?
Would this include the relevant group (race, age, income) in the US, or only in Africa or the rest of the world?
Eugenics … it’s tricky
I couldn’t help but notice that you seem to be of the view that the US is the only country in the world that gives aid, or that gives the most. Actually the latter is true, in absolute terms.
However, in the context of the parable of the widows mite Luke Chapter 21, the US is the rich mean guy. Sorry.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Development_aid#2004_ODA_Figures
My final comment for the night. At the end of your last post, you tagged on : you just CAN’T ignore the future.
I absolutely agree. That is why birth control programs, education and free and fair trade for the developing world is critical. As birth rates fall, and education increases the problem resolves itself in a natural positive feedback loop.
As christians this is what we should be fighting for, and insisting our lawmakers invest in.
Not WMD’s!!!
Christians have a binding obligation to help the poor and protect the weak, even to their own detriment.
At a minimum, that starts with not suggesting that we let them all starve to death, and rebuking those who do suggest it.
Shelley, stop and think about what you are saying. You type in ALL CAPS, “WE CAN NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE SUFFERING ON THE PLANET!” However, quite the opposite is true. We can be, and are responsible for the vast majority of the suffering of the planet.
Millions around the world starve for the simple reason that 36% of the world’s grain supply feeds the world’s 1 billion pigs, 1.3 billion cows, 1.8 billion sheep and goats, and 13.5 billion chickens (that’s more than two chickens for every man, woman and child on the planet).
The average American’s yearly meat consumption consists of 96.8 lbs beef, 68.2 lbs pork, 105.6 lbs chicken and 2.2 lbs mutton, for a total of 272.8 lb of meat. With over 290 million people in America, we’re consuming close to 80 BILLION LBS OF MEAT! It requires over 100 lbs of grain to produce one lb of beef, so in reality, Americans are actually consuming almost EIGHT TRILLION POUNDS OF GRAIN through the entrails of a cow, so to speak (that’s not counting the grain consumed by dairy cattle and egg producing hens).
Almost a half a ton of grain for every man woman and child on the planet is fed to livestock to produce about 12.5 lbs of meat for every man woman and child on the planet. I don’t know about you, but if I were starving to death, I’d rather have a half ton of grain than a 13 lb rump roast.
In closing, I have a homework assignment for Shelley, and those who agree with her political and religious statements: read the 32nd chapter of Isaiah in the King James Version.
”Don’t criticize the government, because that would weaken our position in the War on Terror?”
In that case, the ”terrorists” have already won, you silly girl!!!
Visit my Anti-War website, http://www.shockedandawful.com
Let me do a thought experiment. You live in a village where there are 100 people.
The village is controlled by 6 of the villagers. They have absolute control, over all the food, fuel and housing. They always have more than enough to eat while roughly 50 of the villagers suffer from regular hunger and even starvation. Of the 100 villagers, 80 live in cramped and poorly heated accomdation. The other 20 live in accomodation varying from adequate to absolutely sumptious, Most especially our 6 super well off villagers.
Now if you where one of the 50 starving, or 80 villagers living in inadequate housing, what would you do to set things straight?
Just tumbleweeds on this thread … have you conceeded all our points Shelley?
Hey Shelly,
Neoconservative here, I have to take back what I said on an earlier post. I do not agree with you on most of your ideas, you need to begin to hold yourself more intellectually accountable for the things you say. Your ramblings are the kinds of things that make the rest of us logical and reasonable conservatives look like retards. I think I understand where you are coming from but I think you need to really think about the things you say. Either you agree with a constitutional democratic republic or you do not. The constitution of the U.S. was not created to protect only your group.
Neoconservative.
Shelley, you stated that you believed all the things that a Christian should be and do, but you said that sometimes you believe in making sacrifices. Do you mean sacrifice the faith when it is convenient to do so? If that is the case then you cannot have claim on Christianity. You cannot do the will of God just when it suits you. If you claim Christianity you do His will in ALL things. It doesn’t matter if it suits what you want or your political agenda. No exceptions.
Have a good day
This is just too much
Are you saying that all the non-american people don’t deserve to live?
You should be in a mental institution. Your site doesn’t deserve to be looked. I hope one day you really find God and what he means.
BRIAN COUGHLAN RULES !!!!!
My 2 ?(!)0.02,
1. Pray at least twice a day. Don’t forget to include the soldiers and our President!
How shall I pray for the president and his soldiers?
Like this?
‘Father, please help the president to find new countries to attack to help the arms producing companies.
And help the soldiers to kill as much civilists as possible according to what you told us in your holy bible(can’t find it now).
You know that not all humans are equal and that the subhumans from africa don’t deserve to live because they are useless for the planet.
They don’t pollute.. they don’t make wars all over the world. They don’t even drive American cars! So what are they good for?
And let the American world domination soon be completed, as you told our soldiers in Mark 16, 15′Go into all the world..’
2. Consume. Buy gas as much as you need, buy presents for our kids and friends for christmas. This may sound strange to you but it’s actually quite important. We need to keep our economy going. Therefore: Buy as much as you need and can!
Buy drugs as much as you need to think Bush to be a good president.
3. Buy American cars. Why wants the stupid japanese mini-cars anyway, right? So go out and buy and drive your SUV or Pickup!
Wait. Shelley, didn’t you say in another blog that the free market will control itself? There is no need for manipulation. The stupid japanese mini-cars produce much less pollution than the American Pickups. And they are far less dangerous than Pickups in case of an accident.
4. Don’t criticize the government, because that would weaken our position in the War on Terror!
How exactly would it weaken the government’s position in the War on Terror if someone tells Bush that he bombs an innocent country and that Saudi Arabia, his oil supplier, trained and harbored the terrorists?
5. Have kids! Don’t ever abort kids, raise them as strong and decent Americans!
Wow. Sounds like Hitler. Any need for further comment?
6. Don’t tolerate liberalism. Engage in discussion, have arguments, stick with your opinion until the fight is won. Don’t ever back down. Don’t take sh*t from anybody! Make your opinions known every chance you get! Bumper stickers, t-shirt, signatures….
Kill any other opinions. You have the right opinion. Arguments are not necessary. Freedom of Speech is an unpatriotic invention from gay communist europeans. Liberalism is sin. Jesus was a Republician.
7. Vote! Vote for God, liberty and justice for all! Vote republican!
Liberty and justice for all isn’t that good. I would prefer to vote republician. Some subhumans like liberals oder the ones from insignificant continents like Europe, Asia, Australia, Africa and south America don’t deserve liberty and justice. They ought to be servants of America because America protects them.
8. Put up a flag! Show your patriotism.
And place it everywhere in the world in order to show them who their master is.
9. Open up a website! For example just like this one. Currently the liberals are dominating the internet. But not much longer.
Control the web. If you can, hack and shut down liberal, non-american, unpatriotic, truly christian websites.
10. Write down and remember all of the above!
Didn’t you find a 10th point?
Let me help you:
10. Pollute. Show the stupid Europeans that oil will last for ever and that there is no global warming.
Greetings from the “Gate to Hell”.
Shelly I think you and all the people which are thinking like you are the bad guys because you do evil things to other people but you say that is good. Thats the real problem.
Greetings from Underverse.
Baciamo le mani al organizatione,
grazie onorevole firmato Al Capone.
I’m absolutely horrified with your insaneness. You Shelley seem to live in your own world where there is no place for thinking about long-term and acting responsibly and respectfully.
That’s with people like you that America accounts for more than half of the atmospheric pollution. That’s with people like you America got stuck into unwinnable wars (Iraq, does it means something to you…). By acting like this you make your whole country despicable to the eyes of other nations.
No matter what you are… Republican or democrat… if you’re only interested by your selfish profit and sickening christianic propaganda, do yourself a favour.
SHUT UP. There’s no need for brainless people like you to pollute the Web.
[...] Rather than listen to greanpeace, I suggest you pay more attention to Shelley’s lifestyle tips. [...]
[...] Rather than listen to greenpeace, I suggest you pay more attention to Shelley’s lifestyle tips. [...]
there’s a story somewhere in the bible that goes like this:
There was a very poor man that had prepared a trip for a long time. He manage to gather 3 bread pieces for the trip. The morning before he was leaving, a man nocked at his door, and asked him for some food. He gave the man one of the bread pieces. Later on the road, he was asked by a little children for some food. He gave him a piece of bread. He had only one left. He found a place to sleep that night. When he starting to make his camping site, an old man approached and asked him for food again. He said he had little food left, but that he could share. They sat around a fire, and the old man which asked for food converted in to Jesus, and told the old man that the other people that had asked for food, were also him, and that he had already the doors of heaven open, because he gave even though he had little. He filled with food around the fire, and left.
So called christian. Go read !!!!!!!!! You make you country look like crap really.
For the other readers, i know a lot of northamericans and they are not all like her, so forgive her for being so close-minded.
1. Pray at least twice a day. Don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t forget to include the soldiers and our President!
1. Pray at least twice a day. Don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t forget to include the soldiers and our President!
what does the first law of god say? DO NOT KILL
I couldn’t read it whole without feeling it’s one of joke webs. People like you are really dangerous Shelley, but I think most of us are still normal and will not be affected by this.
According to your opinions I should argue with you until your brain explode or something, but I still believe we live in free world so I let you continue with your propaganda and keep me smiling.
Have a nice day
Silly coward gay European Jerry
This is the greatest thing ever. Shelly, your satire just keeps getting better and better. I check this site every morning when I get to work.
keep up this hilarity
Shelley said:
“I believe that Americans are the one and only good guys on the planet.”
Hitler said the same thing, but replaced ‘Americans’ with ‘Germans’ and it was in German. Yeah, I know your stance on the German people, I read that post and commented on it too.
America does need to find better ways of reducing its dependency on oil. I’m not saying to consume less, but to consume the same of something different. It is true that Earth isn’t ‘running out’ of oil, in fact we are in the same point on the ‘oil curve’ we were in the 1980s, but our consumption of oil has drastically increased, thus driving oil prices up.
Oh, and Brian Coughlan, using Wikipedia as your primary source of ammo for your argument doesn’t really help considering the nature of Wikipedia. Good arguments, nonetheless, you help us fight the good fight.
I couldn’t help but notice that except for Shelley, there is not a single comment supporting Shelley in any way. Doesn’t that make you think Shelley? Also, why did you stop answering?
Whats the matter with all u people. Cmon guys, stop trying to explain Christainity to Shelly who absolutely doesnt know the meaning of that word. The very fact that she hasnt replied back prooves that she doesnt know what she is talking about most of the time.. Sometime I feel like laughing at some of the comments she has made. My God..she needs help. What a fake! LOL
Hey, forget what everyone else has been saying about your ideas. You’re on the right track.
I admire your ability to speak your mind… regardless of what rational people might think. I admire your thinly veiled racist views (just wondering… racism, is that fad back in style or something?!). Also, considering i’m originally from Africa and I’m gay, should I just go ahead and sterilize myself? How exactly should I do that? Some sort of modified coat hanger device… dunno, I really haven’t put the kind of thought into this as you obviously have.
And about this war on terror… or better yet, the war on drugs, how’s that one going? My country has also declared war… war on insolence. (Yeah, I know, I know, it’s silly to have a war on a concept, but if the US Government can do it, so can mine!) Anyway, our mandate is much the same as yours… which is to exterminate anyone who doesn’t think, look and act exactly like us. Yeah! Screw everyone else, i’m a true patriot!
Ok. You got me, I don’t really admire you. Nice website though…
Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics, even if you win you’re still retarded.
how anyone can take this stuff seriously is beyond me - this site is hilarious!
there is NO WAY this is serious, i refuse to believe it. it’s just one big hoax, it’s too extreme to be real.
the comments appended to the articles on this site are anachronistic - the people who make this site are having a laugh.
they amuse themselves that people actually respond to their ridiculous assertions and allegations. it is obviously said in jest (albeit a very extreme form of jest, designed to provoke and enrage those who take it seriously).
i can’t accept that anyone is really that screwed up … it MUST be a joke. i believe the word i’m looking for is “satire”.
Dear Shelley,
as you might know I am not a big reader. Most long text bore me to death. Allthemore I really appreciate your webiste ShelleyTheRepublican.com. Thanks for all the great entertainment, news and wisdom. You know what: Me and my staff often get great ideas from your website, so you can say that your web site is more or less involved in our policy making. Of course, I am the decider, but I rely on good people like you with their hearts and minds on the right spot.
Keep up the great work Shelley.
Yours,
George W. Bush, Commander in Chief.
1. Pray at least twice a day. Don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t forget to include the soldiers and our President!
do you think god appreciates you quit openly ddisobeying the first commandment (thou shalt not kill) and do you thin he really wants you to ASK HIM FOR HELP?!?!?!? have you even read the bible?
2. Consume. Buy gas as much as you need, buy presents for our kids and friends for christmas. This may sound strange to you but it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s actually quite important. We need to keep our economy going. Therefore: Buy as much as you need and can!
do you know what pollution is? did you also know that america creates 25% of all the worlds pollution? you may not think the rest of the world matters but when acid rain is killing trees so there isnt enough oxygen, and killing crops so there isnt any food, will you reconsider?!?!?
3. Buy American cars. Who wants the stupid japanese mini-cars anyway, right? So go out and buy and drive your SUV or Pickup!
again, do you know how much pollution SUV’s cause??
4. Don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t criticize the government, because that would weaken our position in the War on Terror!
terrorists are people who dont want anyone to disagree with their views, right? by saying not to disagree you are by definition a terrorist! (you absolute fool)
5. Have kids! Don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t ever abort kids, raise them as strong and decent Americans!
Fine. but… when you said that the rest of the world doent matter, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?!?! do you realise that most of your food and clothes are made in other countries? when you have worked in a sweatshop for 18 hours a day earning about 2 pence a year, then i will listen if you say other countries (the rich ones you are making clothes for) dont matter.
6. Don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t tolerate liberalism. Engage in discussion, have arguments, stick with your opinion until the fight is won. Don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t ever back down. Don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t take sh*t from anybody! Make your opinions known every chance you get! Bumper stickers, t-shirt, signatures?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?Ǭ?.
Surely not wanting any other political parties is fascism. (or communism)
7. Vote! Vote for God, liberty and justice for all! Vote republican!
again fascism. how come facism is ok when its you saying it but not anyone else?
8. Put up a flag! Show your patriotism.
flags again made in sweatshops IN THOSE DIRTY AFRICAN COUNTRIES YOU HATE SO MUCH! if you think they are so bad whyare you supporting their economy so damn much
9. Open up a website! For example just like this one. Currently the liberals are dominating the internet. But not much longer.
once again FACISM!
if every other country is so wrong how come everyone i know i so much cleverer than you? (im english by the way)
It saddens me to know that our poor troops, going through a living hell in a place far from home, are fighting for inconcievable fascist bigots like you, shelley.
I’m also an atheist, which doesn’t make me too happy that I can’t be a good american without worshipping a mythical diety. If there is a hell, I hope to see you being raped and ripped apart by demons, over and over. And if I do see that come the day when I am wrong, I’ll spend eternity laughing at your unbelievably rightwing eco-fascist dumbass.
Say hi to a gun barrel, shelley.
@ shelley
WE CAN NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE SUFFERING ON THE PLANET!
If you feed Africans they will have children and you have to feed the children, they will have more children and you have to feed them all. IT HAS TO STOP SOMEWHERE!.
There are limits to our capability. And we are better cruel to a now small number of people than to a very large number of people in 50 years, my God.
I suggest to only give food to africans that have been sterilized. That is the only logical way to approach it.
This sounds JUST LIKE HITLER…. Oh GOD… S HELL ey….Are you Hitler Reborn?
PS: IF you Feed Shelley and her minions, they will have children, and a Diabolical Army of small Anticrists will take over our precious world, killing and enslaving all GOD has created
May GOD save you from the Demon that posseses you…. I pray for those you have infected with your sinfull devil talk… I really do… Begone Beelzebub… In the name of GOD THE ALLMIGHY…BE GONE…
We could always just feed Shelly to the Africans. Being a {fat}American I’m sure they’ll be plenty to go round!
God how I love how you heathens don’t believe in anything but wish rape and death on poor Shelley, in addition to eternal damnation, so I hope you’ll appreciate the irony in that. She’s correct in some areas, and wrong in others. I’m just as certain that many of you who lament Africa’s plight don’t even donate to ameliorate the suffering. Here’s the problem with Africa: the lack of honest governing authorities. Rather than continuing to blame colonial powers for Africa’s problems, many should look to their governments like Zimbabwe’s Mugabe for the runaway inflation and endless suffering of their economies. You libbies make me sick; you expect the world to sit around and sing kumbaya and make love not war when that’s not simply the case.
“You libbies make me sick; you expect the world to sit around and sing kumbaya and make love not war when that?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s not simply the case. ”
Hey, isn’t that a line from GTA:Vice City?