Euro Trip - Part 1 - The not so Great Britain
Dear Reader,
You might be aware that I am in my fifties. In my life I travelled the American, African and Asian continents. I even visited Australia and New Zealand. But until last year I had never ever set foot on European grounds. As so many of my colleagues and acquaintances rave about how beautiful Europe is, how clean and nice, I decided to take my 3 weeks yearly holiday allowance to make an European roundtrip. I checked the Internet (CIA World Factbook, the most trusted source for foreign countries), bought travel books and went to a couple travel agencies. All the the books and pictures promised me the trip of a lifetime, elegant cities breathing lots of history with century old houses, streets and places, nice smart people, clean and open landscapes, castles and manor-houses, dreamlike gardens and lots of good food.
I decided to start my European adventure in the United Kingdom. This country consists of England, the Channel Isles as well as Scotland and Wales which are independently ruled in way that they have their own government and own laws.
The Queen — Leader of the Brits
Prince Charles — British genes at their best?
I found an incredibly cheap flight bringing me from Iowa City to Washington-Baltimore Airport to Reykjavik, Iceland. Iceland is not more than a flat, brown stony island. With no trees whatsoever. It was a really dull and depressing sight. No place I would want to spend my holiday. From Iceland I’ve flown to Glasgow. Glasgow is the third biggest city in the UK and the biggest city in Scotland, which lies at the far north of this rather tiny island. Of course if you think Scotland you think at Loch Ness, pipes, Highlands, sheep?s, kilts and whiskey. The impression I got however didn’t correspond with these images at all. First of all the language! English (American) is my mother tongue. I’ve never had any problems understanding these Oxford Brits, people from Australia, India, South Africa even Canada. But this Scottish language… It sounds like something cave people used about thousands years ago.
Quickfacts: Dictionary: English - Scottish
yes - aye
little/small - wee
thanks - ta
goodbye - ta ta
don’t worry - nea batha
After fighting to give the taxi driver instructions on how to get to my hotel and a 30 minute drive in which I was clinging on to my seat in this shabby little car while the driver was racing on the wrong side of the road, or so for me it seemed, I was relieved that the driver found me the Holiday Inn in which a room was booked for the night.I withdraw to my room just wanting to take a shower and change my clothes. The room was dirty, not much different from what I had seen so far from Scotland. So after demanding the room to be cleaned thoroughly.
I set out to find a place to eat. Wandering through dirty grey streets, seeing people just throwing away their trash where they’re standing I came to a kind of fast food restaurant. Grimy windows promised nothing good especially after reading the menu which mainly consisted of fish and chips (note chips are what we Americans call freedom-fries), baked beans and sausage and the unofficial Scottish national dish, deep fried pizza with a portion of deep fried Mars bars… No wonder the people here are so fat. Even worse is how they look. The women look like prostitutes, even in coldest winter they wear nothing more than a mini-skirt, figure revealing tops (mostly in pink and baby blue) and knee length boots that would put a dominatrix to shame.Scottish men though seem to prefer just wearing track suits and sneakers. The one’s not wearing that seem to be fond of cheap black plastic trousers and horrifying looking shirts with, again, cheap looking black plastic shoes. Don’t they have any pride, any taste at all? Later on I learned that these tracksuit people call themselves neds. A great site to study the behavior, culture and looks of these people is this website.
Cheers!
There is no denying Scots are ugly and bad mannered. In America you just see bums and Liberals spitting on the streets, burping, scratching their crotch or even farting in public. Not in Scotland. 90% of the people never seem to have heard the word manners. Clearly parents as well as the government failed!
Youngster with Buckfast or “Buckie” as it is affectionately called by it’s fans. A tonic wine full of chemicals and caffeine which leads to spasms and aggressive behavior.
Back on finding a place to eat: Finally I found an restaurant that looked a little bit stylish and promised me food ‘that would let my taste bud’s tingle’. I went inside and asked the waiter what kind of dishes they offer. He recommended the official Scottish national dish which is called ‘haggis with neeps and tatties’. As a complimentary beverage he would serve me a lemonade called Irn Bru. I agreed to have that but thankfully an American guy who sat at the table next to me made me aware that Haggis consists mainly of animal bowels like sheep lungs, stomach, heart and suet! How gross is that? He also added that Irn Bru is a lemonade that mainly consists of poisonous chemicals which are causing cancer and damaging your brain cells. I thanked my fellow American citizen and left the restaurant immediately. After moving along the street, passing teenage mothers and fathers with strollers, yelling at their kid(s) or showing their friends ?their adorable wee bundle of love? I finally found what I was lounging for. A little bit of American heaven in this hostile environment. The golden arches! I was never fond of fast food but this time it tasted like ambrosia to me. America once more saved a lost soul in time of great need.
After this refreshment I went back to the hotel. I still was not really satisfied with the work of the cleaner. This nation is filthy indeed. I tried to overcome my disgust and took a shower, changed my clothes and decided to look for a church to spend prayer time in a more suitable surrounding. With the help of my Palm Pilot (another great American invention) I found a church not that far away. After leaving it an hour or so later I found myself in hell. It was not yet 10 pm and the streets were filled with drunken men and women wandering around, singing, taking of their shirts and dancing around half naked. One guy urinating next to a car; another one urinated against the wall of the church I just left. These godless bastards!
I tried to hurry along as fast as I could to get back to the hotel. To my left a crowd of people gathered around 5 men who yelled and cussed at each other then starting to hit each other in the face. Suddenly one of the men drew a knife from his pants and began to stab the others. I walked nearly ran away. Then a few steps later I heard a rustling and moaning next to me. There was a small yard with garbage containers. On of them I could see a copulating couple! There is no decency on Glasgow?s streets or so it seemed. Also I wondered about the lots of little children you could see at this time on the street. Which decent parent would allow their 5 - 12 year olds to run around at 10 pm between all these drunken aggressive people? Even worse that some of them were actually smoking cigarettes! I felt the urgent need to pray again but was lacking the courage to get back to the church.
Another fine example of an aggressive Scotsman. Look at the knifes in his hands. People like this should not be allowed to roam the streets at all.
Quickfact: According to a UN study is Scotland the most violent country of all industrialized nations!
This scene is characteristic for Glasgow at night. Drunken Neds having a ‘good’ time.
About 100 yards further down the street a car bore up to me. On the steering wheel an older disgusting guy with dark yellow teeth, many of them missing. So many of his fellow people seem to have similar problems with their teeth, aren?t there dentists around in this country? Europeans always brag about their health system, which for me seems at least as rotten as the teeth of this guy. I never waited for him to say anything but quickly turned away walking as fast as I could back to the hotel. I swore to myself never to set a foot alone in this town anymore.
Children of questionable origin spending their time with what they like best: drinking (it’s not unusual for 10 year olds to be drunk) and smoking (children as young as six or seven years can be seen on the streets with cigarettes!). In Britain about 85% of the population regularly indulge in “binge drinking” many of them kids. Also most teenagers (male and female) aged between 12 and 14 attend so called “cherry popping” parties which just serve one aim - getting drunk and deflowered.
The next day after sending away an English breakfast which mainly consist of chunks of fat and meat and beans in a disgusting looking tomato sauce and dull tasting tea, I asked to be brought to Glasgow Prestwick Airport which lies about 30 miles south of the city. Along the road thousands of ugly and depressing looking bungalows and apartment buildings; trash is littering every street, every green space . The sky is grey and cloudy; it rains nearly all the time. Scotland definitively left no good impression.
Living: UK Style — 80% of Brits live in buildings like this
Next stop: London. You hear so much about the beauty and sophistication of this city. I just found it so godless and awful. On the first night while wandering on Trafalgar Square I was robbed. Some grimy bum grabbed my bag while another one pointed a pistol at me. Luckily my money and pass was well hidden in my neck pouch. Back in the hotel I learned that nearly every second tourist in London is robbed or attacked, every 6th tourist gets seriously injured, every 20th tourist killed. London is a very dangerous place. This country or merely its inhabitants seem to be highly criminal and profoundly aggressive.
Probably it hasn’t been these guys who robbed me that night but yet they are another example of what happens to children of Liberal breeding.
The next day I didn?t dare to go out alone. Fortunately I met a nice woman from Oahu who convinced me to take a sightseeing tour in one of those famous red buses. It was a nice experience; some of the buildings in London Central are quite pretty and illustrious I have to admit. If one could just say the same about its inhabitants.
I want to end Part 1 of my travels with yet another picture of fine British citizens.
Goodbye, Great Britain, goodbye.
Now I know why so many of you came to American in search for a better life.
Kind regards,
Barbara
Next week ? Part 2 ? Destination: Paris
Picture sources:
glasgowsurvival.co.uk / thatsweired.net / blogs.guardian.co.uk / en.wikipedia.org
Hi Barbara!
I am shocked!
You never told me that is was so disgusting in the UK.
Thank God I did not go when I had a chance!
God bless you Barbara, my dear Friend.
I am so glad nothing serious happened to you there.
Your friend Shelley
Dear Shelley, Tristan and other citizens of USA blogging here,
I’ve been visiting your blog for sometime now, I’m must say I’m deeply shocked. But before I speak out my motives to be so shocked, let me just introduce myself: My name is Miguel Rom??Ǭ£o, I’m portuguese(europe…), 19 years old, Marxist (non leninist, anti stalinist), currently I do political activism for a portuguese Trostkist party (Bloco de Esquerda - Left wing Block), I also do social activism (you know, do nice things for those who have less than us…and for those who God didn’t gave the all so wonderfull gift to be an american white ass conservative), some time ago I was christian (but not catholic) but I’ve lost my faith and started to believe in thing that can real chage our world: Idealist Politics, marxism…
Everytime I come to your blog I feel deply insulted, in every dimension of my human being:
about the way you consider God:
-I know real christian people, I’ve received a jesuit (Christian…) education in my school, I once believed in God and I do admire the life and work of the character Jesus, no matter if it is truth or not: it’s still a great example of life! WHAT YOU SAY ABAOUT GOD AND JESUS IS AN INSULT FOR EVERY PRIEST AND BELIEVER THAT GIVE THEMSELVES INTO HARD WORK HELPING OTHER PEOPLE! YOU ARE CONSTANTLY INSULTING THE LIFE AND WORK OF JOHN PAUL II!! And I’m not a christian, I’m just speaking out for my believing friends, I’ve much consideration for them…even when you don’t have for other people…
about the way you treat non-americans:
-Not even Hitler had such a racist and xenophob speach when talking to his people, since he knew it would scared them away! You are the most not tolerant person I’ve ever known and you still think you are a good person! I’ve never read something so un-HUMAN, so anti-HUMANIST, so dreadfull, to be honest…I bet you don’t even know that 6500 africans die every die do to bad medical aid, but I also bet you just don’t give a fuck!
about pollution:
Your arguments are always ripped off some interprise comercials! As in the use of lead, which was only forbidden in the USA in 1996 because of the economic value! We know now that even the romans had problems for using lead pubbling, also if you don’t know pubbling comes from de latin word plubum, which means lead. You are so formated by the system that you can’t even see that the video shown about CO2 was done by a corporation! Of course they wouldn’t say that is bado for us, THEY MAKE MONEY THAT WAY!
about linux:
FACT: MICROSOFT SERVERS ARE HOSTED IN LINUX!!!!
http://news.zdnet.co.uk/software/linuxunix/0,39020390,39115920,00.htm
GO AND SEE IT IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE!
about wikipedia:
I thought free iniciatives were communist propaganda software and terrorism actions. SO DON’T USE IT OK? It’s OUR weapon! (irony)
about gay people:
“Love one another” Jesus
I’ve been teached the bible, In ANY place God says homossexuality is an immoral thing. I’ve read the bible and I also know Jesus forgave a whore, why wouldn’t we accept HIS(and therefore OURS) brothers whose only “sin” was reaching love?
about liberals:
As an anti-capitalis socialist I also don’t like liberals a lot, but calling them left-wingers is an insult to my work and my determination based on my political ideas, which are TRUE left-winged.
Every time I visit your blog I begin to laugh, but end up crying, for I see no way you will open your heart to the world and your mind to intelligence.
See you soon camrades, the future is red and withou suffering! FOR THE INTERNACIONALIST SOCIALISM!
“The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways. The point, however, is to change it” Karl Marx
how dare you insult other people with all the trash we have here in our own country . I am begginig to question whether you are american yourself…. but then again you probably are because of all the evil our country does to others
Hey Miguel. You may have been “teached” the bible, but you obviously haven’t been “teached” proper spelling or grammar.
Marxism is bullshit. Political idealism is a crap-shoot. You’ve got to work with things the way they are, not the way you envision they should be.
And to Shelley, I read your blog everyday and couldn’t be more satisfied.
–D
So, let me understand: you collect some pictures from internet, pictures that can be from any city in the world (from New York, Des Moines, Zurich, Canberra, ….), put up some racist comment and voila a great blog !
You should write a full travel guide. It would be really funny
that’s easy huh, telling you visited a foreign country when in fact you just went grosery shopping in one of your own suburbans:-)
btw, that last picture is from a comedy serie wich is far better than any of your lame productions
i hope all american are not like shelley or barbara: you are hateful you hate the european, the african, the canadian, the asian, the gay, the communist, the muslim and your na
Shelley you are the biggest enemy of your mighty usa, a faith-based fanatic a spiritual terrorist who slowly poisoning…
Shelly, your website is full of hate and disinformation. Most of it is wrong I will tell you.
I will not care to comment on anything other than this:
You are right to be scared of the so called Liberals in Europe. We (our mindset) are already taking over the world, the Socialist revolution will never stop. Look to South America for instance.
The PEOPLE will reclaim this world. Your capitalist, republican NeoCon Fascist empire is already falling apart.
We are the good guys and when you meet your God you will understand.
You make fun and bandy factoids about England, but goony Americans like Barbara, Shelley and Tristan obviously forgot that America descended from England. If the people there are really as dumb as this ridiculous blog wants to impart, how dumb would the people have been as they colonialized American grounds?
You Americans think you are the best, but you Americans shouldn’t scoff at other nations at all. You call yourselves Christians but you make everything that doensn’t define a Christian at all. This double moral standard is typically for USA.
Your canting nation pick wars with other countries to be able to absorb their resources just to keep your wasteful art of life. And all that “in the name of God” that even the dumbest Americans approve this terrorism to the world (because they are too dumb to understand what’s really going on).
It’s really no wonder why the most people in the world hate America and your canting and capitalistic manner is the reason why I’ll never want to visit your country.
Greetings from frosty, rocky, tundra-covered Alaska!
I have read your blog with reasonable amusement for the past month. Truly, I am an active participant in my local church for well over 8 years, and did happen to to vote Bush, etc.
I need to make a few points about your ethics.
Why are you so hateful of anything that is foreign to you?
I am sure Jesus and George Bush do not hate the people in Asia, Europe, Canada, Africa, Australia, etc. as much as you seem to do. According to everything in bible school, Jesus knew everything, etc, and did not make any form of assumptions, or give out bad information to the public. With all due respect, follow the examples set for you.
Second of all, do not be a xenophobe…This blog is accessible out side of the US, and are painting a bad image of all the things you claim to follow.
Third of all, why do you guys hate linux so much…its the backbone of so many structures on the internet, as with CISCO’s OS and BSD Unix. Some of us use it on the desktop, but in reality it is not all that common. The people defending this are those who are trained in its use, and administrate servers based on great American products, Novell SuSE Linux, Red Hat, CENTOS(Yes, I did hear about the Tuttle incident), and hundreds of other customised packagings of the same system. For example, I can use knoppix to recover data from a hard drive or OS corruption rather easily, and 90% of the time it is successful. This much makes it worthwhile to use. I am sure communists had little to do with the 12.5 million dollars that I saved in a mere hour!
It is also a computer scientist’s favorite toy. It is less regulated and pre-set than Windows or Mac OS X, legally and scientifically. Really, do you change INIT processes on windows? Or rebuilt it to run faster? Have you tried to use a secondary program to manage networking? In entirety, it is fun to use linux! (If you are curious about what makes a computer tick)
As for gay marraige, etc. I am against that stuff, but there is far worse things that need to be fixed. Please do a google search on a Fr. Jim Poole, or the Da Vinci code, and take the time to verify these claims. Do not step on any unnecessary toes, for the people on the sidelines did not conspire in said situations.
I hope this positive feedback is carefully analyzed, and feel free to contact me, or even better, have me verify and check your articles. There is such thing as politically correct, and after all, AMERICA IS ONE FROM MANY, NOT MANY FROM ONE. Cultural and economical diversity is what keeps us in the luxurious position that we are in.
this blog is just awesome. I don’t know who you guys are, but you make me laugh day by day…keep up the good work (its not that only you make me laugh, you make me appreciate my lovely Europe, and everything it gives us, a little more every day)
Greetings from Serbia;)
Final proof for me that this moron is a hoax. The last photo from her ‘holiday’ (oh, really?) in the UK is actually a still shot from the satirical tv programme ‘Little Britain’.
To the anonymous person who posted on May 26th, 11:16 pm:
Chances are good Miquel is far better educated in language(s) than you. I bet he speaks your language better than you do his. :p
Regards from Germany
V.
Oh, and about the drunken kids from your article:
Just search the net for “College Fuck Fest” and you can learn what american teens do at their weekends…
Barbara, barbara, barbara, I have to tell you 2 things (no actually there are hundreds things I should tell you or you should be told…but thats another story)
1. hilarious, i thought this page is in a humorous decline but you gave me back my believes
2. when I was reading your awesome piece of “report” about the oh so horrible Great Britain, I was strongly reminded of the article of shelly about the visite of her (former) relatives from Germany. Plz compare your “report” with the points shelly is critisising about her (former) relatives: ” I can?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t even begin to tell you how ignorant these people are! They have no respect for the American language and no respect for the American culture.On the drive from the airport to your home they started complaining (it seems that Germans really like to complain all the time). ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?The American Airline (which was American Airlines) is not as good as their ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Lufthansa???, ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?the food on the flight was so awful???, ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?the people at the airport have been impolite???, ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?the streets are not as good as in Germany??? and on and on and on…”
Do you recognize any similarities? no? ok, dont worry, just keep on watching FoxTv and stop leaving your house, its dangerous out there…
In that respect
a person who enjoyes his 1 year stay in england
Ps: when you are going on holiday to find variations of the USA in size, shape and color, than you probably shouldnt come to Europe but…mhm…hm…no just stay at home and complain about your own country because it is not doing what mighty Shelly thinks it should do - in spite of this blog and the hugh efforts shelly is putting in it in matters of researchs, writing skills, ignorance etc.
Wow, I’m impressed. Usually I can enjoy every kind of satire/trolls and laugh about the angry replies. But this time it’s different - I feel insulted by this article, although I am not British and don’t like this country, either.
btw: How about installing a poll to find out how many people here actually think this is serious? I guess, only a minority of visitors actually come from the US, while most of them are Europeans who have been told to come here to see how dangerous/evil America is.
Perhaps their depravity explains their lingering support for Bushism.
Einmaliger: i think most of us have been told to come here to see a funny satire. at least i hope we are not _that_ stupid.
First I want to thank you Shelley for your kind words. When thinking back at this holiday I am really glad that I wasn’t murdered or beaten on the street. Europe is a very dangerous place and I thank God every day that I am still alive.
I would like to take this oppurtunity to comment some statements of our readers.
1. Thank God I’m European: I was really baffled when I read your statement. You’re just jealous of our great American nation because your country has driven away their most intelligent citizens about 400 years ago and with what they were left you can see in my article. You’re jealous because you tiny country isn’t the no. 1 world power anymore. Guys like you accuse us of bringing terror and war to the world? We don’t! We bring freedom and democracy to the world. Not like you and your other European friends who terrorized and brutalized other countries and continents for centuries. Who killed and enslaved millions of people during your reign of terror not to help them unfold their potentials and to bring peace but just to enrich yourselves.
2. Dr Chris Parsons: Oh, please, guys like you make me really sick. Where have I said that these photos are photos taken by me? Do you think I made that photo of the Queen and Prince Charles? Do you think I would still be alive if I would have photographed these lowlifes myself? The photos you can see in this and in my coming articles were all found on the web and illustrate types of people I’ve seen and met on my trip.
How dare you imply that I am lying!
PS: And to all Europeans: If you don’t like my report - go away! This series is to show my fellow Americans what to expect on a trip to Europe. This is not fiction, these are things I experienced and I am sorry that I can’t write only good things when there isn’t any good to tell about you (also you might and will notice in future reports I am not denying that there aren’t some nice things in Europe. If you haven’t seen my positive remark in this report, please reread it).
Thanks and have a nice day,
Barbara
2Einmaliger
don’t spoil the fun, please… and learn from us, Russians - usually we don’t feel insulted while offender is out of reach. In conjuction with retentive memory such approach often provides amazing results. :-)
Good luck.
Why go to Glasgow anyway? The Scottish Isles are much more suited to the elderly.
Please reread my post. If you think an ironic tv series is representative, you are stupider than ever I imagined. Also, try to be accurate, I mentioned the last photo only.
This site IS comedy right? Surely there can be no-one so xenaphobic toward another country (For the americans out there Xenaphobia is a fear/hated of other countries and cultures, not a fear of Xena the warrior princess.)
Your comments on our great country are totally unfounded and full of mis-information.
Your fear of trying ‘traditional’ scottish food of Haggis, neeps and tatties is laughable. It’s true the meat is generally the ‘pluck’ from a sheep. That’s its Heart, Lungs and Kidneys. The meat is cooked with barley and spices and stuffed into a sheeps stomach and boiled. This has been made and eaten for hundreds of years and is almost certainly better for you than the shite McD’s you so lovingly fell upon as ‘Hometown USA’ food.
You have based your opinion of Scotland on a short stay in Glasgow which, to fair to Glasgow, is a toilet. Did you not go to Edinburgh? Could you not travel into the Highlands where the landscape would have left you wordless?
You attack the people of this fine and ancient country based on poor knowledge and your inbuilt bigotry blinds you to the simple truth. In any country there are social ills, you seem to have encountered a few people who did not fit your ideal world and rather than accept that people are different you judge them less worthy than you. Judge not, lest ye be judged.
Your claims of the crime rate in London is so fucking outragous I have to take issue there …. London is the tourist capital of the world. So lets do math. Assume anually there are 4 million tourist visits to our great capital. You claim 1 in 20 (5%) are killed! 5% of 4,000,000 is …………200,00 (two hundred thousand).
You also claim 1 in 6 are seriously injured. So thats around 15%.
15% of 3,800,000 (I’ve taken of the people we simply kill) is 570,000 (five hundred and seventy thousand).
So, to summarise. The chances of being killed or seriously injured whilst visiting London is around 20 to 25%.
Have you confused London with Baghdad?
People like you make me sick.
E PLURIBUS UNUM!
Thank you, Alaskan_Leader, for making in one statement plain what America is about and what the problem of this blog is. At least SOME Americans - and even conservatives - still got a brain in their heads.
thanx again for a heartly laugh.
please do a report about switzerland, austria, the vatican and monaco.
Barbara, sweetie
Great reading your letter, however I have to provide you with some information: you didn’t visit Great Britain, you visited a place called Little Britain, which exists in a parallel universe. This is sort of our Disneyland, you see, a mirror that reminds us how things will be if we ever give power away e.g. to the US. Practically everybody apart from the US really lives in the opposite Universe. This is sort of comparable to the Star Trek holodeck, i.e. it’s a simulated world. We jokingly call it an “Illusion de Grandeur”, but you might be slightly out of your depth trying to understand that. All you need to know: it was designed to give you exactly the experience you enjoyed, for our entertainment. Your performance was slightly amusing, I’d say a 4 on a scale from 1 - 10. Don’t feel discouraged, please do try and improve, and come back sometime.
TaTa dear.
>> I was really baffled when I read your statement. You?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥re just jealous of our great American nation because your country has driven away their most intelligent citizens about 400 years ago and with what they were left you can see in my article.
Yes, actually it was our idea to create a country full of clever people but unfortunately this ship with the scientists on board sunk and haven’t ever reached the American continent.
>>You?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥re jealous because you tiny country isn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t the no.
Yours isn’t either. That’s exactly the problem of people like you. As I told, you think you are the best, but you are not better than any other country in the world. And what should I be jealous of…?
Maybe of your high crime rate due to your not existing social protection? And what are you doing against it? Instead of forbiding guns, you make laws which support guns more and more.
So should I be jelous of your moronic laws? In Florida, It’s already legal to shoot someone!
Or maybe of your labor time? Here in Europa, we work for living, but Americans live for working. You work at least 60 hours a week and you have no collective agreement, so you need 2 or 3 jobs to be able to pay the costs of living.
Or maybe of your fundamentalist medieval mind with God? Some of you really decline the theory of evolution. Maybe you didn’t recognized it yet, but we live in the 21st century!
>> 1 world power anymore.
Yes, but I don’t know if it’s so honorable to have an armory that could nuke the whole world 3 times.
Moreover in economy, you aren’t the number 1 anymore. You were the number one after WW2.
>>Guys like you accuse us of bringing terror and war to the world?
Yes and it’s the truth. Your government supported dictatorships after overturning democratic governments! If you don’t believe that, study some history books.
>> We don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t! We bring freedom and democracy to the world.
That’s what your Bush liar and your censoring media says. As I already said before, you don’t even know what’s going on in the world, because many of you are not even interested in international concerns. You stare in your TV set and believe all this crap they tell you about the world. There are even commercials for the war. How sick is that!
>>Not like you and your other European friends who terrorized and brutalized other countries and continents for centuries. Who killed and enslaved millions of people during your reign of terror not to help them unfold their potentials and to bring peace but just to enrich yourselves.
Yes, centuries ago it was so. It’s a historic fact, but Europa learned from its mistakes. Nowadays it’s unfortunately America who uses such similar behaviour. What’s about CAFTA! With such unfair contracts, your country prevents South America of having an expanding economy because you overflow their market with your products. But on the other hand they can’t sell their own products. Pure exploitation and capitalism. That’s what I associate with that.
Fact is, there is nothing in America whereon I would be jealous, so please abandon your ridiculous national pride.
Dear Barbara,
Since you are already somewhere on the European continent, I’d love to show you arround in any Swiss city you like!
If you wish to take this offer, just send me an email to str[at]maerci[dot]com . I really would be pleased, if you did take this opportunity to enrich your personal knowledge and experience. Of course it would also expand your skills in objectively writing a blog about Europe.
Kind regards,
Marc
I completely agree with V from Germany. Miguel writes a good essay why he doesn’t agree with this site and that Anymonious person just attacks him because his spelling and grammar isn’t perfect. Just a V says: ‘He can probably better speak English than you can speak Portugese.’ All you Americans should try to speak other languages ( even if it’s just one ). It’s enriching.
And about the blog: I really love how narrowminded you are. You are absolutely not open to other cultures ( I’m talking about the food here. Not about the youth there. America’s youth is just a messed up. ). It’s so typical American.
I also just love that you come to the conclusion that the entire European health system is rotten, because you’ve seen some people in Europe with rotten teeth. You’ve got a weird kind of logic.
I’m going to keep following this blog just to see what other countries you’ve been to and to find out what’s wrong with those. :)
DiMi ( The Netherlands )
Don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t worry people, if all Americans are like Shelley it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s only a matter of time before America collapses under the pressure of the combined stupidity.
// (note chips are what we Americans call freedom-fries) //
http://www.sptimes.com/2006/05/21/Worldandnation/An_about_face_from_hi.shtml
Moron :D can’t wait to see the summary of your french trip !
You’re the kind of person that often make europeans think american people are narrow-minded, because you speak openly & loudly, unlike the intelligent part of the US citizens. That makes me sick.
barbara, please allow me to give you a sample of your own pie;
i saw this video::: http://www.totallycrap.com/media/libraryjerker/
now, according to your own reasoning i should conclude that in america, even a simple library isn’t safe for a child.
authorities are spending hundreds of dollars for security measures and still there are people acting sexually in your libraries. note that i call your area (yes, america is an area) sexually disturbed and insafe for children to randomly walk into libraries where there could encounter masturbating people with war-veteran fathers who would get their gun if you go and debate with them. also note the war-veteran father, doesn’t sound to liberal to me huh?
but do i realy think all you americans are the same gunslinging, in public masturbating wackos?
Wow.
I never realized that Americans were so insolent, hypocritical, ignorant, and arrogant. I have been to Europe several times in my life, and have never experienced the problems that you had. I realize that you cannot appreciate natural beauty, or cultures that are better than yours, and it is obvious that you had not researched anything about where you were going. In comparison to Europe, America is a disgusting cesspit. I must assume that you stepped out of your front door, observed your surroundings, and then recorded what you saw, thinking (if you can) that you had gone to another part of the world, because the horror of what you saw could not have possibly been your fantasy America that never has, and never will exist.
Hey Barbara, you are actually right, the USA is a great country for example because it does have intellectuals like Chomsky…I recommend this articel for everyone who thinks that the USA is bringing justice and democracy in this just ‘war against terrorism’.
http://www.zmag.org/sustainers/content/2006-05/20chomsky.cfm
I’m an American teenager living in the Netherlands. Shelley, I’d jsut like to ask you to do one thing: Climb to the top of the Washington Monument, stick your head between your legs,and jump off, making sure to kiss your ass goodbye on the way down. Your webiste makes people like me have a hard time living in Europe. I love it here. It’s much better than America in my honesst opinion. Don’t write crap about things you’ve never ever seen/done in real life.
I can’t believe there is similar stupid people in this world…I mean I get ashamed for you. you are american…great nation…only five hundred years ago the European states sent prisoners of every type in America. America was a way to clean our prisons…and now you tell me you are better than me? you come from a sinner and you are telling me I am a sinner, a godless only because I live in Europe? If I travel and I like so much to do that, I try to eat all the typical things of the place I visit…you say in Europe we don’t eat very well, I am Italian, pizza and pasta is not good?all the world envies us the Mediterranean diet and says that I eat badly? we must eat at McDonald’s? you say we are fat, but in the USA most of people are fat…what can you say now? you come in Europe, you want to find all therefore like the one in your country. It is not possible, because the most beautiful thing in the world is that we are not the same. Differences between my world and yours are normal, but if you don’t free your mind to accept what happens beyond your garden…ah, I forget the fact you are american, americans are intolerant. you teach me this. you teach racism and intollerance. nothing else. In your word I can’t find love, I can’t find a christian, I find haters. only this. I can’t deny you have a bad experience, but if it is like you said, we are all crazy, we live in a crazy world. Stop and turn on your brain before write.
you say we aren’t intelligent. how can you explain the fact that all european researches come to USA and work for americans? if you are so intelligent like you say, this is non sense.
You can’t criticize european people because you aren’t better than us. have you ever been in new york? everyone now it is a caotic city. there all people is not innocente, everywhere you can go you can find dirty streets and young boys whit knives in their hands. everywhere you can find girl half naked who go around streets selling their body. this happens also in USA. Do you think I have to wear burka? so none can see my body, none can become a sinner…you are worst than muslim.
you lead freedom? using guns? strange way…Jesus had spoken about peace, love, hope without use crews…have you ever read the bible?
also bush, your great(?) president said that there are problems in iraq, maybe something goes wrong. what can you say now?
Jesus never spoken about gay…why you are so intolerant?
let’s talk about pollution: USA till now do not have underwrite the protocol of Kyoto to the aim to reduce the injurious gas amounts introduced in the air. this is in order to make more and more money. you don’t believe in god, you believe in money.
I have read Da Vinci’s Code, I have seen the film…it is a novel, nothing more. You have to think this. If I see people like you that judje a book, a novel, in this bad way I start to think that it is the true. the historians have demonstrated that the only true thing is that Maria Maddalena was not one prostitute. So if the entire novel isn’t true, if it is pure fantasy, what’s the problem? there is no problem, IF it is fantasy. I must for a minute to think the contrary? you lead me to this, not the novel.
I am still waiting an aswer: how do you feel if I try to change yourself, if I try to make you a better person? (Better for me, not for you) you can’t answer?you do not have the courage to answer to me? in this way you have an idea of as a person can itself be felt that tests to make to become that that she is not.
ah…tomorrow is sunday, I’ll go to the sea, not to church because I can pray everywhere and because I’m tired of seeing bigot people judging me for how I am. GOD BLESS THE WORLD, not only the AMERICANS. we are all his sons. don’t forget this.
ehm…today I went out with my friends: we met at 11:00 pm and then we decide what we have to do. we take some cocktails, made with rum, gin and vodka. we went to disco and enjoyed ourselves. All of my friends tomorrow will go to church. they are good christian and they remember they are living in 21st century.
we are godless?
I can’t believe there is similar stupid people in this world…I mean I get ashamed for you. you are american…great nation…only five hundred years ago the European states sent prisoners of every type in America. America was a way to clean our prisons…and now you tell me you are better than me? you come from a sinner and you are telling me I am a sinner, a godless only because I live in Europe? If I travel and I like so much to do that, I try to eat all the typical things of the place I visit…you say in Europe we don’t eat very well, I am Italian, pizza and pasta is not good?all the world envies us the Mediterranean diet and says that I eat badly? we must eat at McDonald’s? you say we are fat, but in the USA most of people are fat…what can you say now? you come in Europe, you want to find all therefore like the one in your country. It is not possible, because the most beautiful thing in the world is that we are not the same. Differences between my world and yours are normal, but if you don’t free your mind to accept what happens beyond your garden…ah, I forget the fact you are american, americans are intolerant. you teach me this. you teach racism and intollerance. nothing else. In your word I can’t find love, I can’t find a christian, I find haters. only this. I can’t deny you have a bad experience, but if it is like you said, we are all crazy, we live in a crazy world. Stop and turn on your brain before write.
you say we aren’t intelligent. how can you explain the fact that all european researches come to USA and work for americans? if you are so intelligent like you say, this is non sense.
You can’t criticize european people because you aren’t better than us. have you ever been in new york? everyone now it is a caotic city. there all people is not innocente, everywhere you can go you can find dirty streets and young boys whit knives in their hands. everywhere you can find girl half naked who go around streets selling their body. this happens also in USA. Do you think I have to wear burka? so none can see my body, none can become a sinner…you are worst than muslim.
you lead freedom? using guns? strange way…Jesus had spoken about peace, love, hope without use crews…have you ever read the bible?
also bush, your great(?) president said that there are problems in iraq, maybe something goes wrong. what can you say now?
Jesus never spoken about gay…why you are so intolerant?
let’s talk about pollution: USA till now do not have underwrite the protocol of Kyoto to the aim to reduce the injurious gas amounts introduced in the air. this is in order to make more and more money. you don’t believe in god, you believe in money.
I have read Da Vinci’s Code, I have seen the film…it is a novel, nothing more. You have to think this. If I see people like you that judje a book, a novel, in this bad way I start to think that it is the true. the historians have demonstrated that the only true thing is that Maria Maddalena was not one prostitute. So if the entire novel isn’t true, if it is pure fantasy, what’s the problem? there is no problem, IF it is fantasy. I must for a minute to think the contrary? you lead me to this, not the novel.
I am still waiting an aswer: how do you feel if I try to change yourself, if I try to make you a better person? (Better for me, not for you) you can’t answer?you do not have the courage to answer to me? in this way you have an idea of as a person can itself be felt that tests to make to become that that she is not.
ah…tomorrow is sunday, I’ll go to the sea, not to church because I can pray everywhere and because I’m tired of seeing bigot people judging me for how I am. GOD BLESS THE WORLD, not only the AMERICANS. we are all his sons. don’t forget this.
ehm…today I went out with my friends: we met at 11:00 pm and then we decide what we have to do. we take some cocktails, made with rum, gin and vodka. we went to disco and enjoyed ourselves. All of my friends tomorrow will go to church. they are good christian and they remember they are living in 21st century.
we are godless?
ehm…sorry for my errors…sometimes I think a sentence in italian and I forget to translate using the correct form. sorry
Hmm
This article (whole blog maybe) seems to follow the Monty Python’s Flying Circus series. Only there would someone present the British the way Barbara does.
Hi folks, i just found this site. It’s interesting, to say the least.
you said, americans bring democracy to the world ?
>>We don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t! We bring freedom and democracy to the world.
This site is a parody. Plain and simple.
Barbara..youre nothing but a bitchy disgrunted shrew that talks nonsense and has no respect for other countries other than the US. Isnt it the same in Downtown Detroit or New York? Or LA? No wait..youre from a small town in the middle of nowhere. What the heck do you know about big American cities. Stop moaining about how crappy everything non American is. The very fact you do this just shows how insecure and cheap you really are. If some European would talk against your own country like that, you would be up in arms. Pathetic.
Dont worry valentina, I am just started to think, that this site is probably just a very sick joke from a stupid american.
But just in case i will leave my opinion here.
Even the most shity town in UK is still more beautiful and interesting that any of your cities. I kown, because i already been in both places.
Why do you relate UK in that terms? Do you ever been in Detroit?? I already been there.
After this lets jump the part, when you say “This country or merely its inhabitants seem to be highly criminal and profoundly aggressive.”, and move on to the next subject.
I would not debate politics with you, because you and shelly must be members of the same cult, but i leave you an advice, stop posting lies, i can believe that you ever been in all of those places.You certainly never leave your redneck town.
But if you do want to travel across europe trie this countries: Scotland, England, France, Italy and spain , those countries i know very well and i can assure you that will be hard to leave them!
I forgot to tell you that I am portuguese and if you want to visit Portugal someday you will be welcome like any other tourist!
By the way, what kind of shit do you post in this blog?!
Have you read the linux post? How do i supose to believe in this one?!
and you say USA is a nice place to live ??
http://www.savethechildren.org/usa/report_download.asp
Hi All
2 things with regards to France/Paris: it thrived under Hitler, being ruled by a foreigner government suited this servile people really well. Please bear this in mind when you visit. The French may criticise the US from the safety of anonimiy, but once confronted with Americans in the flesh, they become crawling heel lickers. Secondly, the Germans call a condom, this murdering godless tool that encourages homosexual activities and sex solely for pleasure, a “Pariser” i.e. a Parisian. Unoeuf said.
[...] Great post on shelly’s site about Scotland and London. I love reading about American’s visit and view of the UK. Some of the highlights: [...]
Thank you Barbra! I had never known what a depraved and violent bunch of people the Scotch are.
this is a very nice redneck cities description… Ooops that wasn’t ?
Seriously.. .do you think that this little town represents all scotland ? It is has if i said “springbreak is USA”…
French people (as i am) are particularly bad in english and we don’t like ‘em very well but you should try Paris, Berlin, Barcelona even Rome and you will understand what *is* an European culture part. Even London is a very nice city ! don’t stop at this ugly stuff…
Racist crap.
Most of the people you love are in this list… Have a read.
http://www.buffalobeast.com/91/50.htm
How is that racist?
What “race” is Barbara discrimination against, please? Her own?
Stupid moron.
You Yanks amazed me over and over, every day I read this blog.
How can you be so hypochrital to say that in Scotland all young people have knifes? You live in a country that encourages the uses of Fire weapons!! A country where a mad man can ONLY get 3 fireweapons because he is “potientially dangerous”
I?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•m waiting for your trip to any of our beautiful spanish cities.
And this is a message to all people here with more than two brain cells: Let these (I really cannot find a suitable adjetive for them) write every day articles like that. I some times get bored at work, and they keep myself happy with a few loud laughs reading them.
Tristan,
who or what is the scotch ???????????
it is this?
http://www.scotch-whisky.co.uk/talisker.jpg
or maybe this?
http://iwow.cottages.polycount.com//CES_Log/Photo_Log/CES_Log02/Tape_Dispenser.jpg
please let us know….
also who the hell stays in a holiday inn ?? they’re a dump. any sane person would stay in one of the beauitful hotels in glasgow!
You should have visited edinburgh, one of europes most beautiful cities with more history and culture than the entire US x 10000000
or the highlands, incredible unspoilt beauty unlike the a lot of the us
also just remind me what country has the higher murder rate, the US or the UK??
it’s only because the US is one of the most dangerous countries in the entire world with only countries such as columbia having a higher murder rate!
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/cri_mur_percap
or which country has the highest teen pregnancy rate?
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/hea_tee_pre_percap
what country has the highest life expectancy?
the US is number 46 but the UK is at number 36 and the rest of europe even better than that!
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/hea_lif_exp_at_bir_tot_pop
The US is far from being the best country is the world, many many other counrties have a far higher standard of living, much wealthier per capita, much better healthcare systems, far lower crime rate and much much more.
I bet that she probably think that those stats are made by evil creatures, who envy the US and over all republicans!!
You better trie to draw something, if you want to be understood by her.
Come on Barbara say something, i am waiting for my next laught!
You are ruin a great carrer here in europe:
Stand up comedy
Sorry but Great Britain is Great. And british people too. And, please, have respect for their Queen, it is a good beginning. I never red something xenophobic like that ! And .. racist !
Vive la Grande Bretagne et long live.
Steve May 29th, 2006 4:54 am
How is that racist?
What ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?race??? is Barbara discrimination against, please? Her own?
Stupid moron.
You choose to start calling me names and you say I’m the moron?
Well, all of the posts on this site a pretty much racist/xenophobic (it’s all the same to me). I am not an American, and do not count myself to be of the same “race” as her. In fact, I’m not sure if any of the posters even come from this planet.
Lady, you are ignorant.
Reading your blog is the funniest moment of my day. Keep them coming….
For a start, the United Kingdom consists of Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland. Secondly, your prejudices and stereotyping are appauling: your clear lack of knowledge is very apparent.
Fred wrote:
“French people (as i am) are particularly bad in english and we don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t like ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?em very well but you should try Paris, Berlin, Barcelona even Rome and you will understand what *is* an European culture part.”
Oh, and make sure you visit the right district of Berlin, i.e. Friedrichhain, Prenzlauer Berg, Mitte, Tiergarten or Schoeneberg. Try Kreuzberg for a lecture in working anarchy. ;)
V.
Dear shelley and tristan,
Maybe had you some problem when you were young. anyone raped you? Had you finished your adolescence? Did you go to school? You were beaten by your parents? A bad european german gay linux user killed your family? Had you ever open a book except your stupid GW bush biography and the bible?
If not, your existence prooves god doesn’t exist
So anyway, intolerant racist closeminded people like Shelley or Tristan make me really sad sick. I was been in the USA and i really like it! But when i see some people wave ten american flags on their house…I was affraid! It’s awful! Everybody know that the patriotism is the feeling of idiots. it’s a pity. Why you’re so Arrogant? Why you think america is the best?
I am sure you don’t know where’s Europe or China on a map.
Shelly. You are a miserable old woman. Britain is a lovely country. You just visited the wrong bits. The country towns and villages are where the beauty is to be had and it is unfair to judge us all on a small minority. You might hate Britain, but let me assure you, Britain hates you.
i think you are so miserable in your life and so pissed off that you were not born in europe and that god fucked you in giving you your pathetic life and body, that you have to take it out on everyone. i am an american and i fuck a german on a nightly basis, he is amazing. you are a lazy cunt who is so miserable that this website consumes you. do us a favor and just die. go meet your maker bitch!
I’m glad that Anonymous has already pointed out to Shelley that the U.K. consists of Great Britain (England, Scotland, Wales) and Northern Ireland.
Shelley’d better stay in her country (preferably her native state) and shut out the real world. God Bless America!
Barbara
I comment on your post from 27th May:
Wow, I`m a german so european as you know, and as you write i also should be glad to be alive because all the ugly people who “attacked” you also attack me. HELP. Mmhh strange but it isn`t like that. There must be something wrong…perhps you have a illness calles halluzinations. I can`t say that there don`t exist any crimes but it`s not like you describe it and I don`t believe that America is all happy and bright because if ther exist people like you who are so full of hate.
Ahh these photos weren`t from you… so you don`t have any proofs for your history, you just took some photos from the internet and invented an story. Perhaps you should become a fairy tale teller!
Bye from the still healthy german girl
Barbara never said that these are her own pictures. Believe me, it’s probably not a good idea to walk around in Glasgow at night and take pictures!
Nevertheless the pictures are from actual scottish “people”.
Kind regards,
Shelley
Very good article. I cannot agree more on your views of the godless Scottish. Although Scotland is alone having it’s “neds”, I feel it worthwhile to note that the rest of the U.K. isn’t left untouched by the ungodly. Have a look at http://www.chavscum.co.uk/ to see what it’s liek in the rest of the U.K.
PS: You should also have mentioned the unholy worship of soccer (that they call football there). God said that “thou shalt not worship idols”, but when you look at how these Brits grovel at their football players, you cannot help wonder who is their true God.
I’m from Edinburgh and I went to Glasgow once and it was just like it is described in the article.
Barbara: I think your shrink wants you to contact him - soon! You’ve run out of pills …
Hey Shelly
I’m an American, I don’t belong to the right or left but I would like to say that you’re an ass and that your god is non-existant
Get your facts straight and actually think about where your going on bloody holiday, and they’re called chavs, and the country is full of them, can’t exactly change people ya know, and your god can’t either.
And find actual pictures btw finding a picture from “Little Britain” a tv show isn’t really true facts, jeez I didn’t know people could be so ignorant.
This is well funny, I always thought the stereotype of dumb americans who had no understanding of the outside world or even their own history was an overstatement, but now I’m not so sure.
Your comments about the Brits being jealous of your nation beacause it was founded by the the best of British is laughable, my understanding is that a group of fanantics left an already Puritanical state because it wasn’t strict enough. Did you spread freedom and democracy to the native peoples of your land? No you massaced them.
I hope this website is a spoof, if not as you seem to think you represent what is best about America it makes me glad that so few of you have passports so you can’t come over here and spoil it for the rest of us.
Iraq IS an illeagal war.
Soccer IS called Football.
It CAN’T be a World Series if only open to 1 country.
Baseball IS a girl’s game called Rounders.
I can’t be arse typing any more so I will come to the point….
FUCK OF YOU AMERICAN SCUM - THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS THAT YOU ARE ALL CUNTS
At first I started laughing reading this “travelblog”, but then, after a while, I got really angry. It is ashaming that you call yourself an american. You are such a hatefull, ignorant and racist person. Europe (Britain too!!!) is a very friendly and clean continent, like it’s cities. I do not believe that you have set one single foot on european ground. You are a liar!
However, I am very interested in what you will write about Paris. It is the most ugly city you ever visited, right? And I bet they speak some weird language called French…
Oh…and I hope you visited Germany with all those Nazis running through the streets drunken of beer and so on…
best wishes from Europe
I am absolutely stunned by how many stupid and naive people can actually use the Internet. I’m not talking about the writers of these superb articles, more the endless idiots who understand this stuff as something other than satirical comedy, then post how enraged they are.
I was just thinking similar, I am forced to wonder if allowing AOL to continue to exist is in fact a good thing. I am never sure though which worries me more, the people that get on their soap box and blast the writers here, or the people that blindly back them up.
just wanted to say 2 things
Barbara you said that the USA brings freedom and democracy to the world. You think the Iraqi’s are benefiting from your so called ‘freedom’ and ‘democratcy’?
secondly you said ‘When thinking back at this holiday I am really glad that I wasn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t murdered or beaten on the street. Europe is a very dangerous place and I thank God every day that I am still alive.’
Crime statistics show that in America is a much more dangerous place then europe. for example look at http://www.csdp.org/research/hosb1203.pdf and see
you are an embarassment to your country and the entire human race. i pity you
This is hilarious.
Statistics are ridiculous - London has very low gun crime stats and as for the info on tourists that’s utterly untrue - would love some footnotes on your sources.
If you will go on holiday to some of the roughest and most (spiritually and economically impoverished) areas of Glasgow - it’s not surprising you find some things you won’t like. It would be like me going on holiday to 8 Mile Detroit!
I would just like to underline the misguided nature of this piece by pointing out that the last photo is of two characters - Lou and Andy, from a British comedy show called ‘Little Britain’. Don’t be sucked in by Shelley - if that doesn’t prove she’s ill-informed and possibly even a downright liar, then nothing does.
Have I got this really wrong? Is this really a wind-up site? It’s being circulated around the UK like crazy and has everyone in hysterics! Seriously, is this for real?
Do portugal shelley! Please! (It’s the one next to spain - no offense!). Please!!
I really had a laugh whit all your ignorance.
How can I defend America (i’m not anti-american) with you on the loose? There are american haters indeed (like you are a… world hater?) but you only create more!
My fellow Brits, taking offence at this, I’m ashamed at you. And we say *Americans* have no sense of irony…
What the hell is this? I am American and have visited the UK many times. This is a pretty lot of shit you are writing dickhead. You are having a joke with us. 85% of British are binge-drinkers .. yeah sure that\’s bullshit. The UK is fabulous place, sure there are dives and the \”chavs\” are not the most charming people (you are picking out the \”rednecks\” white trash as typical british?) I have had excellent times studying and working in the UK. You are just a sad little prick who as no idea.. just one very prejudiced glance.
I have travelled widely in this world and some of the most depressing places in the world are in U.S.
Anywhere is a shit-heap if you want it to be. The dirtiest hotel I have EVER stayed in was in New York, nr Madison Square gardens fucking shit heap. cockroaches and piss everywhere.
i hate your attitude. I suppose you voted for that folksy twat we call a president? You drive a gas-guzzler… Yeah thought so. Fuckin\’ America has to get it\’s head out of it\’s ass and real soon.
And why do people always comment on how Britian is a \”tiny island\” it\’s the eighth largest in the world you complete cretin. The island is bigger than a lot of the states at 88764 sq mi. If you add N. Ireland to make the U.K it is 94,226 sq mi. - Oregon size. The U.K. is effectively a single \”state\” in the E.U. ..so stop comparing the size of the UK to the continent-sized United \”States\” !!!
I am moving to Europe … The US can keep it\’s money, greed and bullshit (Republican)politics. I want real history, culture and diversity and people who aren\’t fvcking brainwashed by religion! ..WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN.. RELIGION = BULLSHIT.. THEY ARE MESSING WITH YOUR HEADS.
Shelley needs to have her head examined …
The people you have depicted as so called “Neds” are like that due to a lack of left thinking. The right wing government of the United Kingdom have disregarded the needs of the working class.
We need a system in which the poor are treated well, and taken out of the cycle of poverty to improve cities such as Glasgow.
first of all i am from the UK, and am finding this site hilarious.
The last picture in that article was of a tv comedy show, they were dressed like that on purpose, they ARE NOT REAL CITIZENS.
Dear Barbara
Go fuck yourself you racist cunt.
Love
Matt
Dear Matt.
It’s a pleasure reading from you. When reading your line I couldn’t help but wonder if you are maybe a British citizen living in Glasgow, wearing trainers and drinking Buckfast all the time?
For your information. Decent Christian ladies don’t fuck themselves. For more information on this issue read today’s article from Shelley.
Barbara
England and it’s sickly little cousins Scotland, Ireland and Wales are a deeply primitive countries. The comments we get here on a daily basis proof this over and over and over again.
No wonder good Americans kicked the british crap-tee in the harbor and started trinking coffee.
Today Britain is an insignificant spot on the world map, only important because of it’s connections to the mighty USA!
God bless America,
Shelley Goodman
Dear “Ladies”
I am indeed British, and oh so proud of it, so tough luck. I dont live in glasgow, i live in brighton, so wrong again there.
And where are these “decent christian ladies” i keep hearing about?Coz Im shocked… In the bible it clearly says love thy neighbour, and you clearly have absolutely no love left for anyone slightly foreign… Not so decently christian now are we???
Tough luck ladies but im not backin down ;)
Yours truely
Matt
I suggest you learn how to spell “NEIGHBOR” before you commen here.. Let’s start with that.
Dear Shelley,
why can’t you answer his question =) ? Drunk too much Buckfast and having spasms ? C’mon, girl, just answer the questions. And please answer also to my mail, don’t forget =) it’s the one with the title “You make me proud” …
GJ Matt =)
Love
your ( as you can read in my mail ) greek photographer, Reclaimer =)
Dear Reclaimer,
I’ve seen your email and it’s disgusting. Why should Shelley answer every piece of crazy filth that gets sent to her?
You Matt have nothing to be proud of. As Barbara shall comprehensively cruel Greece is a disgusting nation..
You may find some of the information here useful too.
As for Buckfast, Shelley never drinks too much and never drinks Buckfast.
Dear Reclaimer,
don’t worry I will write about your anal loving, paedophiliac society, you butt-loving freak.
Shelley sent me your mail and I did some research about Greece which left me feeling really disturbed.
I will expose the truth about you and your country soon.
May God be with you,
Barbara
PS: Regarding the Buckfast issue. Our liquor stores would never sell such beverages only European bums drink.
Dear Barbara,
Thanks! =D HOLY CRAP I CANT BELIEVE IT! I could hug you for that, but I won’t. I never hugged a whore before :-/ scary…
anyway, thanks =) dont forget the democratic part ;)
Sorry, it’s me again, had to stop writing because my conference started =)
Anyway, what I also wanted to say is that I will get the best proof that England, Germany and Greece are counting to the best countries in the freaking world because a piece of crap like you, barbara, wrote lies about them, because of jelousy =) GOD I’m so proud
Oh, don’t forget to write that greece is the oldest christian country in the world, it has the lowest murder-rate in europe AND America, and 98% of the population believe ingod and visit the church regularly =)
Love
your greek reclaimer
Well well well looks like I really stumped you with that love thy neighbour one… You two are supposed to be decent christians? I suppose good old Adolf Hitler was probably one as well, eh? I bet getting rid of so many of Gods Chidren (Jews that is, NOT americans) definitely got him a one way ticket to heaven…NOT. You two are worse than him in so many ways - you really thik that George Bush stands for this bullshit? You really think he hates all countries but America? You think anyone with a heart or a concience looks at this and thinks it funny or right? I doubt it.
Your favourite pain in the backside
Matt
Ps 20% of all touridts who visit London get killed? Whatever! Where did you hear that? The London Neo-Nazi Recruitment Cell? Or were you halucinating?? M
We wan’t answers, sweetheart, we don’t confront you for fun ;)
Love
Reclaimer, the greek
Fuck Yeah Reclaimer
Come on Republi-Cunts! Answer The Questions!!!
Let’s face it Europeans, without America, you would be at World War 24 or something. We saved your silly asses and will do it again(very slowly) just to rub it in your faces!
We Americans are a noble people. God wanted us to be great. We Americans were just minding our own business while you Europeans were busy starting empires that killed millions of peoples. Europe seemed to be on fire from the medieval ages onward. It wasn’t until after World War II that America finally came in and saved Europe, from herself.
The American government has been keeping the nations from fighting each other sense WWII. The US was the backbone of Europe. In fact, It’s not an extravagation to say that America rebuilt the modern-day Europe! (Think Marshall plan)
The difference between Americans and Europeans is that being an American can be anything. You could be white, black, Asian, Latin, Native American, etc. While an “Englishman” or “Frenchman” is a race term. Americans are the most polite people on earth, but you rude Europeans always give us the middle finger and insult us due to your obvious jealousy of us! You Europeans, you have nothing but your past, and you guys will hold on to that legacy with pride, even if it’s filled with death, genocide, greed, and hate.
And for god’s sake, there’s nothing wrong about being patriotic! You Europeans are just jealous because were great and we know it!
Remember Europeans, if it wasn’t for America, you would be apart of Russia. We saved you guys and protected you from the evils of Nazism and Communism. So be thankful!
Don’t worry Barbara, it’s not your fault your being insulted, the Brit’s just can’t handle the truth!
-Invader Sherman
To invader Sherman -
You say Americans were “minding their own business” while Europeans were running barbarous empires - are you sure about that?
Coz I thought that back then, there was no USA and most of your ancestors were members of those empires. Probably learning the skills that helped you massacre native Americans so effectivly.
Yay! USA! USA!
Celebrate your history if you must but leave the rewrites to Hollywood you fucking moron.
LOL, I live in London. I have to barricade myself behind a steel door for fear of being attacked, I’m cowering behind my PC as I write. But seriously, London is a great place to visit, you get the odd pick pocket and overpriced souvenirs but other than that you’ll have a great time. Despite the myths we’re not all Dick van Dycke chimney sweep type characters and it doesn’t always rain, last year temperatures got up to around 100 degrees F or 38 for you celsius lovers.
PS the review of Glasgow is probably about right ;)
Ok i really cannot express my discust and how wrong everything is in this article. A shit load of major points now toney blaire isnt a president he is prime minister. monarchy does not rule the uk. Uk is godless and this is a good thing since we are not naive. England is notorious for having drunken fights but i highly doubt anyone would rob you and let alone with a gun. I mean the last picture aswell wtf thats a tv show rip off of what people look like. the tv show is called little britain, i suggest looking it up and wtf again 80% of us live in flats. You find it very hard to find a block of flats around because 95% of us live in houses you tard. i mean you comment on people feeding you lies and this is the ammount of bullshit i cant even comprehend. i have never seen so much bullshit ona website. i urge you to come to this country and it will proove to you how wrong this son of a bitch is.
U SHUT THU FUCK UP BARBARA SCOTLAND IS FAR BETTA THAN THU FUCKING FAT IDIOTS EH AMERICA ND NOT AWL EH SCOTLAND DAE THAT I HAVE NEVR DONE THAT SO GET ALL UR FACTS STRAIGHT BEFORE ACCUSING OUR PROUD NATION U FUCKIN SHIT FACE GO HOME TO USA ND STUFF UR FACE WITH MCDONALDS XL I PRESSUME U FAT ARSE
Ok you silly American…
I’m from Scotland and very proud to be Scottish.
I think your insight to the scots is totally unexceptable
and how dare you talk about us in this way.
Yes we have our “NEDS” but then so does us all..in America they are called “THUGS”.
I also take it that in America that the hotel’s and motel’s are totally spotless…i think u’ve bitten off more than u can chew here.
I’ve aslo posted your website to some friends so they also can see what u say about “US SCOTS”.
From a very very angry Scot.xx
Here is yet another very, very angry Scottish lady, I live in Aberdeen now but was born in Glasgow and lived there until I was 10.
How dare you come on here and decry a whole nation in one fell swoop.
Every city, in every country has it’s bad areas. You were obviously very stupid not to check the areas first.
I could quite easily take a swipe at many many parts of America, however, I am not as shallow and small minded as you are.
You obviously crave attention and this is one sure fire way of getting it.
There are lots of nasty things I could say to you right now. I am not going to though, as that would simply be lowering myself to your level.
Expect far more comments, as I will be posting your website to lots of my Scottish friends. Believe me they will not be coming on here to massage your ego.
Guess what another very, very angry Scots woman here.
As a supposed educated, intelligent woman you obviously didn’t do very much research into the area let alone the country you were visiting.
Ok so not all of my country is perfect but then neither is yours, so perhaps a look in your own backyard would do you good.
I believe to make the sweeping generalisations that you did about Scotland was not only unfair but down right rude. Our country has so much to offer to somebody who is not so small minded and acually opens their eyes to the wonder an beauty that is Scotland.
One other quick comment, if this site is purely to wind people up and it is merely your idea of satirical comedy - YOU NOT FUNNY
I am a very, very VERY angry Glaswegian. Although I must admit at times your description of my great city and country made me laugh, which brought me to the conclusion that this is supposed to be funny. You will find the type of people you encountered in my city the world over. I take great offence at bein labelled as fat and a dressed like a prostitute. As for our health care system, if Mr Blair didn’t enter into a war in which your maniac of a “President” instigated we would be able to invest more into our NHS. My city has great night life, great eateries and great people! You should have did more research or better still asked a native to point you in the right direction of what you were looking for. Most of your description could be about downtown New York! Please readers do not let this jumped up lunatic put you off visting Glasgow or the rest of Scotland. Come see us for yourself. After reading this you will be amazed at how wrong she has got it.
hahahaha your fuckin insane, 1 in 5 tourists to london gets robbed?! ive lived in britain for 17 years (yes im 17 yrs old) and im still here. you americans need to learn about punk rock, where we have a simple system called “give em the boot”, if somone trys to rob you you pull a screwdriver on them an tell them to fuck off. we get drunk to have a good time, we fight cos were not pussies and we have sex cos it feels good. we are not savages and ireland isnt part of the uk, northern ireland is. i want to kick you right in the cunt so you cant have any children, cos one of you is bad enough.your just makin the world hate you. and mcdonalds is a lot worse for your health than irn bru or haggis. stupid cunt. come down to camden town with all your right wing bullshit, and we will be pleased to show you an example of “give em the boot”. your a girl, but also a nazi, so its ok to hit you
if you dont like the uk then fuck of back home,
Jase,
no, I don’t like the UK. What is there to like about the UK? Does anybody except the dumb British like the UK? I don’t think so. You stink, you are stupid and your “english” sounds like a gay fart.
Shame on you. God h8s you!
Shelley
Love this site its like the internet version of Borat.
LONG LIVE THE UK. DOWN WITH AMERICA.
Hi Lucy! Photo I received! Thanks!
ITS BECKY AGAIN.ALL U AMERICANS THINK U R BETTER BUT U R ALL JUST USELESS FAT TOSSERS WHO CANAE GET OUT THEIR DOORWAY,IN SCOTLAND WE DO A THING CALLED EXERSISE THOUGH OF COURSE AMERICANS HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE.HAGGIS IS BLOODY AMAZING SO IS IRN-BRU.I ADMIT SCOTLAND HAS NEDS I KNOW A LOT EH THEM ND THEY R SUCH GD PPO SO IS THU MAJORITY OF SCOTLAND.AND IF U WERE REALLY A SMART PERSON U WOULD HAVE FIGURED OUT THAT U R IN FACT FROM BRITISH DESCENT OH AYE ND FUCK BUSH THU PRICK
ND AS FOR THOSE PICTURES THERE OFF A SYT WHERE ACTORS PRETENDED TO BE NEDS PLUS AM IN THU TOP THX FIR THU PICTURE ON UR SYT
Stav,
you are a moron.
Get lost. Leave this American website! Only Godly people are allowed to read my articles!
Shelley
W33 B3CKY Y4 B4M 4G4IN,
we ARE better than you!
Of course we are! We kicked you out of the USA 260 years ago, we saved your ass in WW2 when the Germans kicked your ass. Your “great” britain is nothing more than a stinking, stupid island. By the way, the british english sounds gay. Only fags speak british.
Shelley
Shelley YOU kicked us out of USA 260 years ago, how old are ya??
You may think you saved our ass in WW2 but thats bullshit we didnt need your help. & Look at ya now, cant even invade Iraq without the brits, face it you Yanks are satan loving pussies.
Without our help, the Germans would have kicked your ass in WW2.
Is this site a Joke?
Its seems that all the comments coming out of it are from backward thinking people who are quite clearly racist and have no understanding of differing cultures. It is quitre clear that you are basing your opinions and understandings on first site and from tourist point of view which by no means gives a true picture of a nation…If I was to base all my opinions on first site of the information I receive about America and its politics especially the so called moral figures of America I would not visits your country at all?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?Ǭ?..
Anyway I seem to be going on a bit and hope that this blog is just a joke. If not shame on all of you for coming out with the bigoted narrow-minded thoughts you have conveyed.
Haha, you have the nerve to call Scottish people fat ? America is the fattest country in the world - remember that.
Shelley, without your help in WWI we would have lost WWI and WWII would have been avoided - so up yours…
By the way, americans are the decendants of us brits so you might as well remove that picture of ole’ Prince Charlie.
Well, i’m glad you got robbed, a shame you weren’t killed, I am British and 80% of us do not live in places like that about 20-25% possibly, you being an American thought you would visit the cities the glamour, mistake number one, you visited the roughest parts of Britain no wonder you walked into a death trap, you didn’t visit any country or sub-urban places, bloody hell your an idiot. and the picture of the two guys with the glasses, they are not citizens they are comedians in costume, fucktard.
On second thoughts, we are a bunch of satanic terrorists out to invade your country with our gay rays, Britain is a form of hell represented in physical form so stay the fuck out, Barbara you are going to Hell you have already been infected.
Shelly, you have to be the most small minded and missinformed retard on the planet. I really hope this web site is a piss take.
There is one reason you were mugged in London - the attacker could tell you’re a Merkin. Seriously, London is my 2nd home and the number of times I go out and hear some yank say ‘cafe au lait, sil vous plait?’ is unbelievable. In England, we speak E N G L I S H. The clue is in the name of the country - it is where the language originated. We do not speak French, German, Italian, Portuguese or any other.
That was hilarious!
“On the first night while wandering on Trafalgar Square I was robbed”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!