Liberals: Unprepared
Ask a Democrat what the world’s biggest problems are. He will most likely mention “peak-oil” or “global-warming; two preposterous scare-scenarios. These liberal myths have been largely debunked by reputable scholars, nevertheless most liberals consume themselves, dreaming up impossible solutions to these improbable problems.
Peak Oil: Liberal geologists think that the world is going to run out of Oil in a matter of years. The Bible tells us that God would never let this happen.
Overburdened by their elitist notions, liberals are so obsessed by these imaginary dangers, that they forget about the real threats that face our nation.
We all know that part of being a Republican is preparedness. Republicans expect and prepare for next terrorist attack, the next natural disaster or worse. Thanks to the Democrat’s idleness, we are forced to bear the world’s real problems on our shoulders:
What could be worse than Terrorism or natural disasters? I am talking about the biggest danger of all, and the one which will almost certainly be coming very soon: The Tribulation.
If you are not familiar with this term, I suggest you reach for your Bible (liberals who do not posses a Bible can find God’s book on the Internet ) and consult it’s final chapter, Revelations.
This book describes in clear, literal and unambiguous terms exactly how the world will end. It tells us how sinful behavior will bring about the end of the world, long before any of the liberal nightmare scenarios can occur.
Anybody who pays even the slightest attention to the news will have noticed that the signs of rapture are clearly visible: We are at war with an satanic foe; Our enemies are building nuclear weapons and our culture is succumbing to the sickness of a debauched liberal media.
According to many governmental advisors, these are all trustworthy indicators that the world’s end will come soon. If you need proof that the end is near, you can use this site which carefully observes those signs and plots how close we are to the end-times just like a stock-index.
Are any of your loved ones unsaved? They may be left behind if you are called to heaven when the Rapture begins. The Bible tells us that before the Tribulation, many Christians will be called directly to heaven.
Not all Christians will ascend, but the bible assures us that God will claim the most pious and blameless amongst us. There is a very high probability that key members of the Republican administration may be enraptured, leaving our government weakened at a time of national crisis.
Fortunately, we Republicans have prepared for this. Under this administration, FEMA have been given an additional duty of ensuring national Rapture preparedness. Before I retired, as a state employee, one of my duties was ensuring preparing our IT infrastructure and procedures for the coming Tribulations. You can be sure that G. W. Bush is making America Rapture-Ready.
As with most things in life, responsibility for any problem must be shared between government and citizens. Did you know that your actions, and those of your friends and neighbors might bring about the Rapture?
Furthermore, if you are not amongst the lucky few who can observe the Tribulations from the safety of heaven, you had better be prepared:
- Make sure that your Church and congregation are Rapture-ready. Read Revelations and ensure that you know the signs of the coming Tribulation.
- Check the rapture-ready index every day. This will give you the opportunity to stock-up in the advance of the major disasters that will almost certainly come.
- Donate as much as you can spare to charities that help prepare for the Rapture. View Pat Robertson’s web-site for some excellent suggestions;. Remember, you will not need money in Heaven, or once the Tribulations are over.
- Do not tolerate sinful behavior amongst others. Remember, that the cause of the Tribulations and all suffering is human sin. Support organizations which lobby your congressmen and senators for greater punishments of sinners.
- Finally, remember that it is our duty to convert others to Christianity. If you know of an Atheist, confront him. If necessary, visit his home and explain to them how their Atheism might be harming this country.
Thanks and God Bless,
Tristan
32 Comments so far
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“Before I retired, as a state employee, one
of my duties was ensuring preparing our IT infrastructure and procedures for the coming Tribulations. ”
Oh, so that’s where you got your superb IT knowledge from! Woehahahahaha….
This is all just too much, too much!
Day by day you guys hit new levels of retardness! Damn they should give this blog price!
best wishes and see you guys in heaven!
Just prooves what a narrow minded ignorant bible thumping person u are. You remind me of the ignorant muslims that swear by the Qoran and just dont want to believe anything else. Youre no different. Get a real education instead of reading the bible everyday. Sad!
Yack yack yack yack..wow man. These republicans are actually really all dumb pigheaded anti liberal wackos. No wonder the avg IQ of a republican is much lower than a democrat and no wonder the democrats control the economy of this country - look at the richer blue states as opposed to the poorer redneck states. (even tho we sadly have a republican govt). And they call themselves Capitalist. Its a proven fact that the economy under a democratic govt has always been better than a republican. Look what Clinton did. He got the country out of the dumps after Sr Bush totally screwed it up. And this has happened under Kennedy too. Wow..these guys really talk thru their hats.
Didn’t you hear? The rapture happened last week.
No wonder the Republicans have left the future in deep shit. If God does exist, he’s one sick lunatic and doesn’t deserve to be called God.
Great one again Tristan. You show them! Now id better ready myself for the Rapture and select which of my hate mongering, intolerant and narrow minded christian neighbourgs’ house i’ll pick when they finally gone to Heaven. Would be a shame to let those to rot now, wouldnt it?
The world being in the state it is in, is our own failure. We can’t just mess things up and then ask God to forgive us, it doesn’t work that way. If civilisation really has succumbed to debauchery and sinful people have taken over, then we only have ourselves to blame. We can’t just go and leave the mess for what it is. Especially us christians who are superior human beings have to take responsibility and accept punishment. If God is just, he will send us all to hell for failing to overcome evil, and rightly so. Every true christian will bow his head and await God’s judgement. We can only find comfort in the fact that we tried our best. I can only hope that my punishment will mean I will be bummed for eternity because I am a closet arse bandit.
\”Peak Oil: Liberal geologists think that the world is going to run out of Oil in a matter of years. The Bible tells us that God would never let this happen.\”
Hey! I never say that!
Quote: “This book describes in clear, literal and unambiguous terms exactly how the world will end.”
In that case, we shouldn?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t be afraid. There is no historical recording of a divine entity chaining a seven- headed dragon and throwing it to the abyss in all mankind History. So, in the doubtful case it would happen tomorrow, we still would have one thousand years of peace before the Big Mess happens. Bad luck for you, Christians ;)
Peak Oil: Liberal geologists think that the world is going to run out of Oil in a matter of years. The Bible tells us that God would never let this happen.
That actually proves what I already thought. Your blog is just a hoax, because nobody could be so stupid to believe something like that.
On the other hand, if you really believe that, you should be admitted into a lunatic asylum.
“Liberal geologists think that the world is going to run out of Oil in a matter of years. The Bible tells us that God would never let this happen.”
This is the best comment I’ve read this year :)
Hi Tristan,
why oil ? when you buy oil (and burn it) you’re giving money to middle east (Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, … so, arab people) or venezuela (marxist) or even Europe (North Sea). Money il flowing out of USA.
Think about it now… running, for example, on fuel cell (hydrogen). USA could produce the energy he need and stop wasting money. Money, jobs, … for USA citizens !!!
In the process you also will produce less pollution ! as a side effect, not the main reason.
oh my (nonexistend) god! you people are looking forward to something that is so obviously a psychological mechanism from hundreds of years ago!
that rapture site! how does it index those items? if it’s with info gathered from those echelon projects i could understand but come on! the big suck from heaven is allready been foretold numerously, why are you so sure now? ’cause you’ve got a big ol’ index now?? jesus,,, all that time sticking your nose in that illtranslated faerytalebook of yours could ‘ve been spend on deeds that actually matter! don’t you know?! the world’s resources in forests, ice caps, minerals, gasses, petrol, species and so on are being raped and you are seriously talking about converting people ’cause they would otherwise not be sucked up to heaven??
and you even say:”Peak Oil: Liberal geologists think that the world is going to run out of Oil in a matter of years. The Bible tells us that God would never let this happen.”???
what is “god” going to do, pee oil from heaven so we could rape this planet a little more? has he put magical oilsources in the ground that’ll never run out of it?
oh (wo)man! i could go on and on about how stupid you people are.
what went wrong in your childhood,,,
Shame your chat room is haunted by a robot !! it took me some time to realise !! please come and chat guys ! I feel lonely there with a robot !
Just a question :
Even if oil is not a limited product , the price of the oil barrels is so higth that we should find anything else. So even if there is no risk for earth when human using oil , why can’t we find anything else not so rare or so expensive ( like you want ) ?
???Peak Oil: Liberal geologists think that the world is going to run out of Oil in a matter of years. The Bible tells us that God would never let this happen.???
Example. Think of the earth as a bottle and oil as cola. If you keep drinking cola from the bottle, will the bottle eventually be empty? Off course!! Same goes for the earth. Common sense Tristan.
In the meantime I’ll just keep on sinning so I hope your looking forward to the Rapture :)
Tristan, just try to talk with a psychiatrist, you are extremely sick and i am shure that your symptoms are aggravating post after post! I know that a mentally healed person, cant admit that thats the case. But i am responding to your post with hope, that any of your friends read it and then help you!
you still can consider suicide! But just if your pain doest go away!
Oh, i forgot, you can comit suicide, you are a christian!
Well then, just have a painfull life. i am shure that heaven doors will be wide open to you, god never allow more punishment to mentally retarded.
Is Rapture some kind of 2K year bug?
Who needs to feed and shelter the poor and underpriveledged if you can invest in rapture preparedness. We all know what a tremendous success FEMA has been.
…
This does not make any sense, but forgive me I’m in Canada.
congratulations on the best article yet :o)
I was laughing from start to finish!
Peak Oil: Liberal geologists think that the world is going to run out of Oil in a matter of years. The Bible tells us that God would never let this happen.
could you point out exactly where in the bible it says that?
What could be worse than Terrorism or natural disasters? I am talking about the biggest danger of all, and the one which will almost certainly be coming very soon: The Tribulation.
Yeah bush prepared so well for katrina didn’t he
Fortunately, we Republicans have prepared for this. Under this administration, FEMA have been given an additional duty of ensuring national Rapture preparedness. Before I retired, as a state employee, one of my duties was ensuring preparing our IT infrastructure and procedures for the coming Tribulations. You can be sure that G. W. Bush is making America Rapture-Ready.
Oh no we’re done for if you’ve used windows!!!!
Check the rapture-ready index every day. This will give you the opportunity to stock-up in the advance of the major disasters that will almost certainly come.
strange looking at that site did you notice that the score has been going down since 2003 ????
i wonder if somebody wrote in the biblie 2000 years ago that now we wont run out of oil :P
What kind of drugs do you guys do?…i would REALLY like to know. nevertheless thanks for the HOURS of entertainment I get reading your blog… and oh yeah, please dont misuse my name, you know I don’t like you mere humans associating my name to stupidity.
-God
You’re article had a neat little phrase underneath a picture:
”Peak Oil: Liberal geologists think that the world is going to run out of Oil in a matter of years. The Bible tells us that God would never let this happen.”
Now, please do indicate me wich page/line says that the lord did say this. And please, if it turns out that its form the old testament when he said ”this oil will last you asl ong as you need” when it was feared that the menora would burn out form not enough oil. Let me clairify, hes tlaking aobut 8 days for a lamp. Not 600 years from 700million cars. Common now.
What ? These liberal geologists are saying that the Earth has a finite mass ? How stupid can they be ?
Let them to waste all the oil reserves on the World. Hopefully to us, the european goverments are preparing for the incoming shortage, investing in other ways of power as solar cells, hydrogen cells, eolic energy and so on.
About the “famous statement” ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥Peak Oil: Liberal geologists think that the world is going to run out of Oil in a matter of years. The Bible tells us that God would never let this happen
Could you tell me why did your fuel tank gets empty every week? ask God about refilling it, because in about 50 years there will be no oil for it :D
And until them, the oil prices will get higher and higher… because or your oil wars and holy wars against the terror.
Accept that, The CIA trained Osama Bin Laden to fight the Russians in Afghanistan, and when your government let their country to root in poverty… he gets angered, and who not???
Look at you! How do you feel about the Pearl Harbour attack? (which in fact was not a sneak attack, but instead a failure of your OWN communications. The Japs warned the US embassy 2 hours earlier.)
As a matter I do remember stating clearly that you *will* run out of oil:
—>8—
Matthew 5:14-16:
“Then the kingdom of heaven shall be compared to ten maidens who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them; but the wise took flasks of oil with their lamps. As the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept.”
“But at midnight there was a cry, ‘Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’”
“Then all those maidens rose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’”
“But the wise replied, ‘Perhaps there will not be enough for us and for you; go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.’”
“And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast; and the door was shut.”
“Afterward the other maidens came also, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open to us.’”
“But he replied, ‘Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.’”
“Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.” (Matthew 25:1-13 RSV)
—>8—
Shelley the rapture is never mentioned in the bible. If the Apocallypse happens it will happen for everyone. Have a nice day.
As everody knows, we can see in the bible at G.W.Bush 1:1-2,
“And then He told us: “Let it be oil forever!”, as soon the evil liberals stated it was running out.”
You know, being a scientist I find your blog a very comic site.
I do hope God has internet to laugh when reading the all the bullshit you write.
PS: I also like the way your sister “fired” a teacher just because he was teaching the truth. I would like my teachers to teach me some lies and bullshits so I could pass the exams with higher grides! You know, being in a physics major is not as easy as knowning the truth held in the bible…I do learn how to prove what I state about the creation of earth and the existence of the universe, also to explain the fourth dimension called time…but I guess your God made an easier world for you to live in…
We always have the whale oil to fall back on… id say start to practice hunting whales now so we can be ready when the time comes. God (jesus) gave us these neat packages of highly refined oil just swimming around the oceans, ready to go. If we dont use them, it is an insult.
R2K
Keep up the good work, Shelley!
hey people, look what a professor has to say about the use of his research by the CEI!
https://cf.iats.missouri.edu/news/NewsBureauSingleNews.cfm?newsid=9842
so, how about that?
Maybe you should spend a little less time reading fantasy, aka, the bible and a little more time learning the truth. It’s good to know that there really are clueless Americans who have Internet capabilities.