The Truth about Atheism exposed. Part II.
How to spot an atheist ? and what to do if you do.
The second in a series of articles about the Godless minority who pose an even bigger threat to our society than the Muslims.
In part one of my study of Atheism, I proved comprehensively that atheists are:
In short, they are scum and you never want to meet one. However, this is easier said than done (or not done!). For a start, atheists are even better at disguising themselves as normal Christian Americans than Muslims.
Fortunately, there are a few giveaway signs. I personally don’t know any Atheists, of course, but I learned a lot about them in the missionary work I used to carry out with my pastor. It is my intention today to bring the benefit of this experience to you good Christian readers of Shelleytherepublican.com.
(1) T-shirts.
Many Atheists like to advertise their lack of faith to the world with “ironic” branding on their t-shirts and messages inimical to our Christian president. I don’t know why they do this ? it isn’t clever and it isn’t cool ? but it is at least helpful to us Christians so we know to ignore them.
This t-shirt is only too typical of the type of thing Atheists like to wear. 98% of Americans would disagree with this disgusting sentiment. Thank God!
(2) They use long words.
As we have now learned Atheists prefer to rely on so-called logic and intelligence rather than good old fashioned gut instinct and religion. This manifests itself in conversation by their using complicated sentences and talking what my plain talking pastor likes to term “bull.” If you meet someone who you suspect of being cleverer than you, they may be an Atheist. Exercise caution.
(3)Bad posture.
As my Great Uncle Marty used to say, most liberals could do with a spell in the army to bash some sense into them and stop them being such pinko saps. Nowhere is this more true than of atheists who are so far from discipline and the love of God that they can not even stand up straight and walk tall.
4)Picking nails.
As discussed in part one of my study on Atheism, Atheists are nervous and scared of the afterlife and sad about all their dead friends who they are certain are not in heaven. As a result, they pick their nails and bite them off. When you meet someone who you suspect of being an atheist, look at their hands. If their nails are in worse condition than the average Christian’s, you could be in trouble.
(5)Use of ‘I-pods’.
Unable to appreciate the beauty of God’s world, atheists try to drown out creation with music they listen to on their Godless MP3 players. They listen to whiny music from groups like ‘System Of A Down’ and from Limey homo-sexualists like Morrissey. (By the way, Morrissey will be the subject of a future article. My niece tried to get me to listen to him recently. I’m sorry to have to admit that. It was the most disgusting thing I’ve heard. I pray for her soul. Not his though. There is a place, a place in hell reserved for him and his friends.) Of course, I’m aware that not all ipod users are atheists ? we Republicans are realists, after all ? but it’s still a fair indication. Especially if they’re listening to Morrissey.
Morrissey. The patron saint of people who are going to hell.
(6)They are constantly after sex.
Atheists do not believe in Biblical morality, nor monogamy. In fact, the creed of Atheism is often used as an excuse to view sick porn on the internet and have debauched romping sex outside marriage. If you meet an Atheist, sooner or later he/she will make a crude suggestion to you. Ignore it.
(7)Laughing at funerals.
Like Satan, Atheists like to laugh at funerals. It’s disgusting.
(8)Confused expression.
Atheists are always lost in their own (lack of) logic. Here is a typical Atheist thought process:
He will ask himself such questions as “Can God create a rock so big that He cannot lift it?” and, “Can God will Himself out of existence?” He will think at first that this proves God can’t be omnipotent. But then he will realize that you can’t use lack of omnipotence as a logical argument when faced with an omnipotent God.
That’s why Atheists are always frowning. And that’s why they try to distract themselves with bad music (see point 5).
(9)They are card carrying communists or fascists.
You have to get hold of their wallet to verify this, but you can be sure that if you meet an Athesist, this is what he/she is. And, conversely, if you meet a Communist, he/she is an atheist. Communism and Fascism are the religions of Atheism. (See Liberals! That’s logic!)
(10)Looks like a monkey.
Okay, this one isn’t necessarily true, but think about it. Atheists are actually convinced that we are descended from apes. Isn’t that just crazy??!?!! Thank God only 28% of Americans agree with them.
Charles Darwin. A man who thinks we are all monkeys.
Okay, so now you’ve identified your Atheist, what do you do?
It’s a tricky question. It’s bad to create a scene, especially in the current post 9-11 climate.
I would advise, however, going in hard. The Atheist may not actually be committing a crime when you encounter him or her. However, as has been discussed before on this site, because they have no moral compass, and no way of judging right or wrong since they deny the teaching of the Bible, you can be certain that the Atheist will become a malefactor sooner or later.
The first thing to do is to clear any children out of the area and warn them not to approach the Atheist. The last thing that Christians want is children having access to someone who could potentially contradict the Bible itself.
Next, give the Atheist fair warning. Ask him or her to cease and desist. If you have come across a sensible Atheist, it should be possible to convince it to move out of town quietly and quickly. If you are especially lucky, you may at this stage even be able to start preaching the Gospel of Our Lord Jesus Christ and lead the sinner back onto the path of righteousness.
Sometimes, however, you will come across a particularly intransigent case. Ask him again, calmly but firmly, to Cease and Desist. If - and only if ? this warning is ignored you may have to start shooting.
May God wrap you up in His warm love,
Sam Johnston
P.S. Here’s another great information resource about Atheism: www.atheismsucks/
P.P.S. For my next piece I intend to write a history of Atheism from Voltaire to Al Gore. All suggestions will be gladly taken.
92 Comments so far
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Me (an atheist) has no moral compass?
Aha, I would never, really never, shoot someone, BUT YOU would shoot me, just because I do not want to be a christian?
Now answer me: Who has no real moral compass?
If you do not answer (as usually) I will know, that you are more stupid, then I think now.
Gee gosh, what did the people do before there was religion?
Was there no morality?
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;…”
- from the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution
I think it is very good when people suffer. To me, that is like the kiss of Jesus — Mother Theresa
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
-Paul [I Corinthians 14:34-35]
The mind of the religious:
If the bible had said that Jonah swallowed the whale, I would believe it.
-William Jennings Bryan
This thought I had when I was eleven years old I came to realize something. This is the truth in politics as well:
What religion a man shall have is a historical accident, quite as much as what language he shall speak.
- George Santayana
He walks, He talks. He loves the smell of beef cooking. He hates Gay people and shellfish. He’s a serial killer. And in the sequel He even knocks up a teen-age chick.
–Robert Anton Wilson, talking about the Biblical God
Faith is nothing more than the license religious people give themselves to keep believing when reasons fail.
–Sam Harris
Whenever a Christian says that something is absurd, I just laugh, and laugh, and laugh.
–Ignots Pistachio
People think that epilepsy is divine simply because they don’t have any idea what causes epilepsy. But I believe that someday we will understand what causes epilepsy, and at that moment, we will cease to believe that it’s divine. And so it is with everything in the universe.
–Hippocrates
If my own father were a heretic, I would personally gather the wood to burn him — Pope Paul IV
“I am now as before a Catholic and will always remain so.”
?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?É¬Æ Adolf Hitler, to Gen. Gerhard Engel, 1941
“The test of a good religion is whether you can joke about it.”
- G. K. Chesterson
Another truth:
“I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.” - Susan B. Anthony
“The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.” - Benjamin Franklin
“Religions are all alike - founded upon fables and mythologies.” - Thomas Jefferson
“In no instance have . . . the churches been guardians of the liberties of the people.” - James Madison
“Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet.” - Napoleon Bonaparte
In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own.
-Thomas Jefferson, letter to Horatio G. Spafford, March 17, 1814
“Religion convinced the world that there’s an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there’s 10 things he doesn’t want you to do or else you’ll go to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! … And he needs money! He’s all powerful, but he can’t handle money!”
?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?É¬Æ George Carlin
Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.
–Isaac Asimov
The Bible is one of the most genocidal books in history.
–Noam Chomsky
Fascism is a religious concept.
Mussolini (Facism, Institutions And Doctrines)
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do.
–D. Dale Gulledge
“I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.”
?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?É¬Æ Richard Dawkins
“The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.”
?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?É¬Æ Thomas Paine
“One of the greatest gifts science has brought to the world is continuing elimination of the supernatural.”
?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?É¬Æ James D. Watson, Nobel laureate, co-discoverer of the molecular structure of DNA
Excuse the lenght. People do not need religion and most don’t make a councious decision about which religion to believe in.
Sam, you could not write the history of what you did yesterday, let alone the history of atheism. You have no intellectual ability, you do not bring together facts from sources, attributing sources; you write what you believe is so, throw in a bit of hatred for anyone not just like you. In a real debate, I would make nothing of you, even though English is not my language. You make up lies, and if anyone disagree … they are going to hell! Says who, my little friend, says who. I admire the people here with the patience to take your silly arguments to pieces, me, I cannot be bothered, you write like a child.
Islamic fundamentalists also say that everyone who isn’t muslim is a godless kuffar and nothing worth. I don’t see a difference between you (and the str.com staff) and those dangerous people.
What about a- and ignostizism?
“If you meet someone who you suspect of being cleverer than you, they may be an Atheist.”
This one holds a place in my top ten !!! :-D
remember everyone : to be a good christian, you have to be silly ! No doubt bush can be a really good christian :-P
@ Clemens
What is ignostizism? Is this some new godless liberal faith? Can you explain it? I’ll be sure to write about it once I’ve consulted with Jesus!
Agnostizism = We don’t know if there is a god or not because neither can be proofed. In fact, no denial of god like the atheists do nor a believe in god like abrahamites (jews, christs, muslims). Both (Atheists and Christs f.e.) are just “belivers”. But an agnostic just answers a simple “i dont’ know” if you would ask if god exists.
Ignostizism is the same but it also says that we shouldn’t care about a god if he exists.
If we think that something we (small poor creatures) do could influence such a being (created the universe!)… wouldn’t that be blasphemy?
I hope my words aren’t too long =)
may God bless you all…
The Roman-Catholic German Clemens
Thank you Clemens,
You learn something every day! Who says we republicans aren’t open to new ideas?? That’s some really interesting information. I bet Jesus hates these ignostics…
point 2: They use long words
“If you meet someone who you suspect of being cleverer than you, they may be an Atheist.”
Ok, so you’re telling that intelligence leads to atheism. You look kind of proud being idiot.
point 10: They look like monkeys.
Look at that:
http://politicsofpain.homestead.com/files/bush_monkey.jpg
I am atheist but, as far as I know, I have never commited any crime, I have never raped any child (and I don’t intend to), I am not addicted to any drugs, I am less ignorant than the guy who wrote this article, I am neither sad nor lonely, I am not a communist, etc.
“If you meet someone who you suspect of being cleverer than you, they may be an Atheist.” So you mean that atheists are cleverer than Christians?
“Atheists are actually convinced that we are descended from apes.” Not at all. Humans and apes descend from the same species, but humans don’t descend from apes.
hahaha,STR.com you guys are back on track! I like this post. “If you meet someone who you suspect of being cleverer than you, they may be an Atheist.” Now thats classic STR.com genius. keep up the good work.
Well…
Being Athiest:
1)I do not wear shirts like that. I do not feel it is right to make fun of other’s beliefs.
2)About the long words: I use them sometimes, in settings where i find it helps. ie, i wouldnt use them with small children, but i may with an adult.
3) Ive been told by many of people (including doctors) that i have great posture.
4) I dont pick my nails.
5) I do listen to an iPod, but only because it was (at the time of purchase) the only player able to hold that much music. Who is Morrissey anyways? Seriously
6) I am not constantly after sex. (but sometimes i am) You will find politicians on both sides of the fence going into excess about all of this.
7) I would never laugh at a funeral. Unless it was the funeral of a clown. Or for that matter a hippie. Hippies arent people. And neither are mimes…
8) I am not confused.
9) I am neither a communist nor a fascist.
10) I dont think anyone looks like a monkey. Some people though, if you have bad vision, may look like it. But that is often a case of 4 and 40.
(4 and 40: Law that states that the apearance at 40 yards is not often the apearance at 4…)
So if i saw you on the street sam, i would probably smile and say hello. That is the type of person that i am. Unless you were a prick, then i would try to avoid you…
“Ok, so you?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥re telling that intelligence leads to atheism. You look kind of proud being idiot.”
I’d rather say being ignorant increases you chance of being a person who believes. Not that there are no intellectual and informed believers, but selling a religion to people is easier if you don’t have basic school knowledge. People in the scientist community are for instance far more likely to be atheists/agnostic since they work with jobs where you not only seek knowledge, it’s also seek evidence you have to be able to prove your finding. I’ve read science since I was 10 years old that was my path to becoming a non-believer. These days I count my self as agnostic.
Other than that I think Shelley should join the people behind the Colbert report. This satire is amazing :)
One final comment unless someone writes a rebuttal. Do not turn america into a middle-east country where the only real difference is the holy book and some of the practise that comes with it (which will be ignored anyhow). I guess all the founding fathers were lonely, ignorant, drugaddicts, disgusting, pedophiles, immoral etc. Please read the first amandment. Please read the quotes I posted above.
Also, did you folks know that the current pope obstructed sex inquiries about pedophile priests? In my eyes he’s a bigger sinner than most of us, and I bet you people claim that because he believes he will be rewarded? He is nothing more than a normal guy who have strange teaching and wears funny clothes.
The catholic church is extremely wealthy, it will be difficult to pass through the eye of a needle…
Religion is a footnote in human history.
Other than that I think Shelley should join the people behind the Colbert report. This satire is amazing :)
Sorry to burst your ultra-leftist athiest bubble, but STR.com is NOT a satarical web-site, and we would certainly wish to have nothing to do with that “Colbert”, who as far as I know is a frenchman that a number of wingnuts find funny. I’ve seen his show, and I can assure STR.com readers, that it’s the same old leftist hate-speech that liberals allways produce.
> I bet Jesus hates these ignostics?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?Ǭ?
Jesus doesn’t hate. At least the one from my bible doesn’t.
Hahahahaa, that was hilarious!
At first I thought you were serious. Now I know you are. God Bless You! And God Bless America!
> If you meet someone who you suspect of being cleverer than you, they may be an Atheist.
I love that one *gg*
“Sorry to burst your ultra-leftist athiest bubble, but STR.com is NOT a satarical web-site, and we would certainly wish to have nothing to do with that ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Colbert?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?, who as far as I know is a frenchman that a number of wingnuts find funny. I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥ve seen his show, and I can assure STR.com readers, that it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s the same old leftist hate-speech that liberals allways produce.”
If it’s ultra leftist to fight for the continues dismantling of the constitution then count me in.
Colbert is actually a practicing Roman Catholic and a Sunday school teacher and he’s 100% american. Don’t blame him for the incomptence for those in government, the comedy practically writes it self. “Freedom fries” LOL
Shelley,
Delete my last post. You shouldn’t have added sentences to it that I didn’t write.
Hi
I find some of this proud atheists irritating.
If they are really so intelligent as they make out to be, they would understand that the chances of a whole universe just appearing out of nowhere is extraordinarily minuscule.
Also please tell me which evidence in sience proves that there could be no God.
These people are bunch of idiots who removes God from their lives to boost their image of their “superior intelect”, while trying so hard to convince themselves that no God exists. Idiots.
Listen ‘pornstudent’ this website is run for God and the Republican party (same thing really). Sometimes, to this aim and in order to maintain the truth and in the interest of freedom we have to edit comments. Sorry if you don’t like that, but we’re only doing what God and Jesus would want. So why don’t you argue with Them?! (by the way, don’t! Because then you’ll go to hell!!)
“If it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s ultra leftist to fight for the continues dismantling of the constitution then count me in.
“the interest of freedom we have to edit comments. Sorry if you don’t like that, but we’re only doing what God and Jesus would want. So why don’t you argue with Them?! (by the way, don’t! Because then you’ll go to hell!!)”
Thou shalt not bear false witness?
“This crime called blasphemy was invented by priests for the purpose of defending doctrines not able to take care of themselves.”
?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?É¬Æ Robert G. Ingersoll
“These people are bunch of idiots who removes God from their lives to boost their image of their “superior intelect”, while trying so hard to convince themselves that no God exists. Idiots.”
It has nothing to do with intelligence. It’s seeking objective truth. I’d like to say once again that your religion is decided on where you were born. Had you been born in say India, you would most likely have been practising (and ignoring) hinduism instead.
Let’s read these words once again ;)
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;…”
- from the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution
Oh, mon dieu, again you play your little games, Sam:
“but we?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥re only doing what God and Jesus would want. So why don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t you argue with Them?! (by the way, don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t! Because then you?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥ll go to hell!!)”. Oh, really! So he tell you his phone no. now, and you are his delegate to say who go to hell?!?
And you say this is not a satire! And you expect people with more than one braincell to believe. You’re a funny man, Sam. I think you do us all a big favour by giving us so much humour, I thank you.
Thank you so much. You had me there for a while. This is as good as Landover. Careful though, you used the word ‘inimical’.
Is it that what you think about atheism?
I’m atheist and I was very surprised about what you think about atheists.
You should meet an atheist someday. You would be very surpised to see that they aren’t like you imagine them.
you said so stupids things again in your article, you said that atheists are “scared of the afterlife”. Generaly, atheist thinks that what you call ‘afterlife’ do not exist, so why would they be scared of something that do not exist?
and as ever, you’re lying and insulting people you don’t know (maybe the bible said ‘hate and insult’ like you do?)
“It has nothing to do with intelligence. It?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s seeking objective truth. I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥d like to say once again that your religion is decided on where you were born. Had you been born in say India, you would most likely have been practising (and ignoring) hinduism instead.”
It’s fine and dandy when you’re living in your comfortable home far away from any trouble, with enough money and in the middle of the USA. Sure.
But what happens when things go wrong? Is it Bad luck? Chance?
What will happen when you can’t depend on your supreme objective mindset?
Without believing in something you’re little more than animal that sleep, breed and eat.
Thank you for an excellent article Sam, although you failed to point out the correlation between the bad posture of atheists and all the godless anal sodomy they constantly engage in (usually in front of the children of their polygamous gay/lesbian marriage). The atheist’s anus is so distended from all the affront to God that the pain causes him to limp slightly when walking. Just thought I’d point that out. Keep up the good work.
Sam Said:
Listen ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?pornstudent?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥ this website is run for God and the Republican party (same thing really). Sometimes, to this aim and in order to maintain the truth and in the interest of freedom we have to edit comments. Sorry if you don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t like that, but we?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥re only doing what God and Jesus would want. So why don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t you argue with Them?! (by the way, don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t! Because then you?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥ll go to hell!!)
If Jesus would have wanted that, he would have done it himself…
Are you playing God again Sam???
“It?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s fine and dandy when you?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥re living in your comfortable home far away from any trouble, with enough money and in the middle of the USA. Sure.”
I’m anything but wealthy, I’m a student. Infact I don’t even live in America, nor do I hate America, but I have questioned a lot of things that has happened in the last 6-7 years (not just USA) Questioning something does not mean that one is anti-anything. Humans constantly seek for bad things because we feel that we might be able to make things better. Without seeing errors we won’t progress. We need new ideas for that, I find religion reactionary and many of these people are longing for the past. I believe we can improve society, even with the of help of religion, but a lot matters on which parts from the holy books one decides to cherry-pick. Christians in America started to cherrypick and I think society has improved for the better. Truth also is that many use religion for their own needs, it can be a source of great wealth as well as very good for votefishing. IMO the neocons are doing just that, many of them are after all disciples of a philosopher called Leo Strauss, who said that the elite should use religion to control the ignorant masses. Another truth is that the religion presented by todays political parties will look a whole lot different in 10 years and certainly withing 50 years. Many today peeking into the future would not regocnize their religion. Religion has been forced to change, and in many ways it can’t keep up with the people. Too much conservatism makes things change extremely slowly. Anyone who has read some history of Europe knows this.
The enlightment, with it’s rise of liberalism and socialism freed to people, but in some cases led to bad things such as Manchester liberalism which socialism then corrected, the living standard rised almost instantly when workers actually had some power to change their lifes and get decent wages and working conditions. Corporations (thus the wealthy) made all these decisions before.
That’s why I’m not for raw-capitalism/liberalism even though I adore the ideals of freedom. Sometimes too much of it can be bad which has also proven by the extreme socialist left, with well, false communists countries where the elite(not workers) too the power and never made the last step, to dismantle the government and give all the power to the people. Huge crimes were also committed against humanity and all humans despite political preference should fight against that. The socialdemocrat/liberal and even the conservative socialist politics in Europe is what I think I mostly connect with. High standard of living should be available to anyone. No should have to starve (I think Jesus would’ve agreed), the middle-class should be large, healthy and reasonably wealthy and the rich should not be extremely wealthy if makes it all too bad for the poor and the middleclass. Capitalism alone can’t give everyone a good livingstandard. The rich will take more and more for themselves and they use billions of dollars every year to lobby to the easily bought corrupt policitians who care more for the size of their own wallet rather than the people
So yeah, I’m an agnostic and I believe in some government socialism but the governments should never become too large and have the ability to take away our freedoms. USA currently has it’s largest government ever and things like the “Patriot act” are not needed.
“But what happens when things go wrong? Is it Bad luck? Chance?
What will happen when you can?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t depend on your supreme objective mindset?”
Oh, in every life I’m sure something will go wrong, but we fight on despite our beliefs. The survival instict is hardcoded into humans as is sexuality. I do not claim to have any *supreme* objective mindset by I try to achieve that by acknowledging the many mistakes I’ve made through my life and try to improve myself. Some events in life I can’t have any power over, I can’t for instance stop another neocon war which might lead over the WW3 (it has more to do with energy resources than terrorism. Keep an eye out for everything that is written about China and to some extent India and Russia. The neocons see these ase huge threats since they are becoming wealthier and wealthier and with wealth comes increasing needs for the black gold) and some things I have power to change but don’t even closely always make the most optimum choices. I don’t really believe in bad luck, I think everything has a reason and everything can eventually be explained and understood, although that is almost an impossibility since there are too many factors affecting each other it becomes impossible to sort them out and to understanding why things happened. But we mush keep asking these questions. Imagine for instance that the rulers in the medevil times decided that all science (churches tried that, knowledge weakens the church) should be forgotten and dreamers like C. Columbus never would’ve sailed to find another path to asia…what wonders has not dreamers who have dreamt something like, there’s more to this, I shall seek and then I shall (hopefully) prove it? Cures to diseases, cars, computers all of these possible through science for which the churches have always worked against. Extreme conservatism = stagnation of development. Look at the middle-east, half of the population are stying home and only men work. Shelley, what do you think would happen to the American and world economy if all women were forced to stay home from tomorrow? The more we leave our religious dogmas out of the politics the better, please leave them at home or at your churches, your hearts and minds. No one will stop you from believing, you have the right to do that. There is no conspiracy from the so called american left to stop christiantity or anything, they simply do believe in the seperation of the church and the state, it’s a foundation for western DEMOCRACIES. You do not need a christian theocry, the religions will live on through traditions which automatically comes from the society you live in. There is no war on christmas. If anything it’s the minorites such as atheist/agnostics that the large majority supress.
Thomas Jefferson said it well “”A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine.”
–Thomas Jefferson
“Without believing in something you?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥re little more than animal that sleep, breed and eat. ”
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one…Although I like the idea of a God, I don’t believe in any of these that humans have themselves created. I don’t believe a God would ever punish the creation of it’s own ‘perfect’ image for an eternity in hell. If we mirror the one tru deity that Christians believe in them I’m sorry, but that does not impress me. I don’t think a supreme god needs to rest after 6 days of work creating the world. If there’s deity I’m sure it’s well beyond over own imagination (I say it, because I don’t think the God is a man or a woman, nor a combination :P) that we with our limited minds can’t comprehend. Not even closely.
Lastly after this lenghty post I’d like people to see Morgan Spurlocks 30 days series, especially when it comes to religion.
-Living 30 days as a muslim
-Atheist in a christian household
-Straight Man in a Gay World
(other recomendation: First episode, living on minimum wage. This is happening in a christian country?)
We’re not that different. We think we are because the differences are exaggregated.
Mind works like parachutes. They work better when they are open.
Do not limit your thoughts by religion or any political ideology. Most have faults in them.
I’m an atheist.
# Disgusting.
wrong, i’m pretty nice and never try to convert people.
# Immoral.
I’m not talking about black people like you did; i’m not cheating with my girlfriend; i’m not following your fascist way, that’s all.
# Dangerous.
I’ve got no weapons at home, i’m not a violent person. In fact you’re A WAY more dangerous with all of your guns and straight mind.
# Criminal.
I’m not an outlaw! I’m paying my charges, buying and not stealing, using my car in right terms, respect my country’s constitution.
# Pedophiliac.
omg … I just can’t stand reading this :\ how can you talk like this ? i’ve never had any sexual relation with a girl/boy under 18.
# Worse than Muslims (according to most decent God-fearing Americans).
We are not “worse than muslim”, we are both (muslim and us) thinking you’re wrong. I’m personnally not for an atheist population (some people need to believe in god) but for an atheist governement. Gods’ law have always lead to war: christian, muslim, hindouist or other.
# Smug.
i’m not a weak personn. I’ve surmonted friends death, worked at school to have a bit of culture, interested in others and personnaly not giving all my mind and funds to a winning sect.
# Liberal.
Is that a default ? i’m NOT liberal nor than i’m socialist nor than i’m republican. I’m an elector.
# Hateful.
I don’t hate you ! This is the difference between STR people and i : I just think you’re wrong but you hate me.
# Probably addicted to crack.
I’ve never smoked this dirty thing.
# Ignorant.
You’re probably more ignorant than a lot of atheist. Are you talking another language (even as badly as i’m speaking english)? Have you travelled and tried to accept others way of life ? Have you ever talk to someone without saying a word from your beloved bible ?
If i don’t know the bible it doesn’t mean i’m ignorant: it means i’m not interrested in.
# Sad and lonely.
I’m pretty happy with my girlfriend and this for more than 3 years now. I’ve never felt more lonely than when i was going to church : no answers, no freedom of mind, no respects for others.
I don’t like seeing people like you talking about something they don’t even half understand. Keep respect please: i’m as free as you !
What the fuck do you think you are, bitch? I’m an atheist and I’m fucking proud, because I don’t have such an idiot in “heaven”, who sais, that I’m not allowed to use condoms or have extramarital sex or something else! you stupid piece of scum don’t know something about life, because you work day in, day out, just for a fictionary motherfucker!
sry bout this swearwords, but I’m some kind of angered right now!!
so shut the fuck up, shelly, close your senseless website and go kill yourself!
attn all atheist: dont listen to such a stupid fuck!
good night!
I have never been to a funeral. Hopefully my family and friends are all healthy. But I can understand someone laughing at a funeral: why not rejoice when someone go to Heaven?
all you repubs are wacked out bigots. i give up. fester in yor hate and your own denial of truth. you can’t take the truth. over
You are not a believer in God! If you did, you wouldn’t spew this nonsense about atheist. The only difference between an atheist and a believer is that one doesn’t believe and one does. So by that definition you are in fact an atheist your self, because True believers attack the lack of belief with the love of God and the knowledge of God and his creation.
Asana Bodhitharta
Funny, this is funny indeed.
Now where is that 45-gallon drum of KY and that goat?
Sincerely
My coffe’ cup can beat up your god!
(Atheist humour is oft confused by Christians as being serious, this is due to the fact atheistic humour is more subtle and complex and being the Christian can not think for them selves causes them to totally miss the point and assume that it is real! Now stop staring at my dam finger and look to where I’m pointing!!)
What to do??
Sam you shuld visit http://www.wayofthemaster.com/ they are experts picking ateist apart and showing them the light. They probebly shuld be on the friends list on shellys site
French guy:
I am atheist but, as far as I know, I have never commited any crime
Sooo you newer stolen anythin? not even a cokkie from your mothers jar? or an apple from the neigbers tree?
Think hard on that.. and when you relise you have done that. You also relise you are not only a thife but a lier to. Because you just wrote that you newer commited a crime.
Thats just two of gods commandments you broken and you know where that crime will take you.
I don’t have too a big problem with atheists, even though our views are different. I don’t think what you’re doing is the right choice, but I understand your reasoning.
…But when you insult or offend someone else’s ideas or religion. It is time to draw the line.
Insult and swearing at me about my religion(even if you don’t believe in it) is low and by doing that you’re convincing nobody that atheism is objective and non-biased.
You don’t have to believe in my God, or accept my religion, just show some respect. It is the least I ask.
ha ha clever one this time. the site just gets better every day. God Bless America! And God Bless you all!
“Thank you for an excellent article Sam, although you failed to point out the correlation between the bad posture of atheists and all the godless anal sodomy they constantly engage in (usually in front of the children of their polygamous gay/lesbian marriage). The atheist?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s anus is so distended from all the affront to God that the pain causes him to limp slightly when walking”
All right, in small words so that you may understand:
I think it is obvious that in your use of words containing too many syllables for your self-proclaimed( too big?) simple minds, you are trying to hide the fact you are a closet atheist. Not to mention your fixation with the rectal area, this is makes it also clear that you trying to cover up your own homosexu-, I mean gay lusts.
yar.
-Helena
‘Abstinence Makes the Church Grow Fondlers’
i guess what i say cant be posted without censorship. i said this was great satire and I WAS ALL WRONG!!! God Bless America! God Bless you all! Especially Shelley! And George Bush!
Amen to that Nice Hacker.
God Bless you too! I wish more people would post such Christian messages!
“French guy:
I am atheist but, as far as I know, I have never commited any crime
Sooo you newer stolen anythin? not even a cokkie from your mothers jar? or an apple from the neigbers tree?
Think hard on that.. and when you relise you have done that. You also relise you are not only a thife but a lier to. Because you just wrote that you newer commited a crime.
Thats just two of gods commandments you broken and you know where that crime will take you.”
A liar? LOL
When I said “crime”, I thought of things like killing… But I never stolen anything.
Quote from Anom.:
Hi
I find some of this proud atheists irritating.
If they are really so intelligent as they make out to be, they would understand that the chances of a whole universe just appearing out of nowhere is extraordinarily minuscule.
Also please tell me which evidence in sience proves that there could be no God.
End Quote
The chances of a super-intelligent, omnipotent, omnicient being appearing out of nowhere is even more improbable. And no one said the the universe appeared out of nowhere. This is an open question in science, a very difficult one to answer since no one was around when the universe was born.
“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.” Except… if he is an atheist. In this case - as you just demonstrated - it is acceptable to badmouth him. Or ostracize him. Or harm him, if given half the chance.
Shelley, do you realize that you are making bad name for the Christianity?
Holy wars are a great source of proof that evolution is working.
@ Vern, what on earth are you talking about? I really don’t understand you.
@ R Dufus. Personally, as a Christian, I know that the Bible says atheists should be stoned for taking the Lord’s name in vain. So I think we treat those disgusting individuals rather leniantly.
Oh my,
@Sam, please go back to school and learn how to read. Then when you succeed in this mayor effort (or maybe I should say IF), please get yourself a decent Bible, not the one that comes in the mail from your good friend Shelly, but a real one from a decent Priest. Read this book then and actually try to understand what it says. Then you might actually come close to understanding why this discussion is so horribly offensive to actual christians and to any intelligent person on this globe.
If you need a break from learning how t read: check your phoneline I’m afraid it runs straight to hell. This kind of mishap can happen to anyone of course but it is more likely to happen to sad people who have spider webs for brain because they never USE it.
Though shall not kill…
Yours sincerely,
a concerned atheist
Where is a good place to find a bunch of pedophiles? I don’t know, lets go ask the catholic church.
Hello anonymous, do let me know what the Catholic Church say. I’m sure they’ll suggest you start looking amongst the disgusting atheist hordes.
I would be happy to support Christianity if it wasn’t for the hypocracy, churches, the Bible, most Christians, the phony stories, etc.
You sir/ma’am portray atheists in a truely disgusting way.
I sincereley hope that this is a sick joke.
Don’t you guys get it? Jesus loves America!…
once again, I have laughed reading this page, and you could be sure that it really is in my favorites sites. But I have some trouble to understand why you do such articles ? By these you offer the possibility to know that you are brainless or just stupid (I meant all the staf…)
Great blog.. I just laughed and laughed. Your prody skills are sharp and it is obvious that you have many a folk fooled by them. Im sending your blog link to my atheist friends for a great belly laugh. Keep up the good work, and feel free to visit my free arcade whenever you wish..LOL.
P.S. Is there any way you can make some original pictures on your site.. its always good to see fresh work.
The Atheist think they can escape the truth,
Say: Think about it, you sit there with your vast
knowledge (not kidding) and you go around using your
God given creativity and talents and then you enjoy all
the benefit of being human and then arrogantly you
deny your Ultimate Creator. The truth is you can’t even
stop something as insignificant as a mosquito from
biting you, and in some cases killing you.
Say: You see how God uses parables to make things
clear. You should be thankful but how can you be
thankful and who can you be thankful to? If there is no
God, then there is no one to be grateful to. There is no
god but God! You are sitting there breathing not
knowing which breath will be your last and after that last
breath you assume it will be all over but don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t you know
that the Resurrection is True and you will face the
judgement? Yes, In the end you will be helpless to
thwart off the truth or deny it. Yes, you will be just as
helpless as you are now against a tiny mosquito.
When I speak of Hell to someone, I talk about it to
terrify them, to make them cringe at such an evil place
and change their arrogance into humility and this is why
I speak of Hell. Is it a real place? Yes! But I don’t speak
of it to condemn anyone to it, I speak of it to drive them
from that direction, that is what the word ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?repent?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?
means, it means to turn back.
This is the instruction: It is predetermined who will go
to Heaven and who will go to Hell. Now, what does
that mean when I say it is already determined in-fact
?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?predetermined?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? Is this life about destiny? Is this life
about fate? Is that what I am saying to you? Let?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s
examine this and see what is the conclusion. What is the
most efficient way for life to proceed? The most
efficient way for any purpose to be reached is to
establish in advance the solution, and cut off or decide
any alternate route for the purpose to be reached to be
an act that is out-law. In other words, God has solved
and we must resolve through the exercise of choice in
making a firm decision and cutting off any alternate
route other than the Will of God, this is the ultimate
bliss and most efficient way. This is the Honest way,
when you go off course of what you purpose(meaning
good purposes) you are out of the Will of God from that
moment and at that moment you are lost in the desert.
The most efficient way then is to turn back(repent) and
get on purpose.
This is quite possibly the funniest website ever.
I have an iPod. I wouldn’t have purchased it if I knew it would make me gay. Isn’t there a law against that?
[...] alerted to me that a terrible Atheist craze that is sweeping this nation. These evil blashphemers, deprived as they are of a moral compass, have been trying to co-opt Our Lord and Savior into a gay disco [...]
Shelley, you could be the dumbest fucking person alive!
Please insert a gun into your mouth and fire it swiftly!
I’m an atheist but I am not a communist nor fascist… I am in fact an anarchist, which is the complete opposite of those two.
You could be one of the most ignorant people I have ever encountered.
your a freaking looney
God calls us to obey his word which is the bible. TEN COMMANDMENTS SAY DONT FUCKING KILL!
bitch
I am an atheist and I am none the things you say that atheists are. You can’t just generalise people, it’s not that simple. Get your facts right, on everything, your research is rubbish!
Religion is the evil here, with people like you out to kill the rest of the world!
I’m appalled by your ignorance and by this entire website!
Please stop trying to combine religion and politics, they DO NOT MIX!
Kayleigh, England (Where we do what we want without being immoral!)
Well I must say, that I’m damn lucky to be atheist, and I’m proud for it. There is no need of god today, and science is more important. Science tells truth.
Anyway, “looks like a monkey” doesn’t really match, because we who believe that we have become from monkeys AREN’T monkeys anymore and I’m not sure if I can say that from you…
Viva Morrissey!
Satan bless you, warmest regards,
SW
This is hysterical, I can’t believe so many people are falling for it! As an atheist myself, I think the comments from offended atheists are almost as funny as the article itself. Keep on writing, I’ll definitely keep coming back for more.
And oh yeah, God bless and Jesus bless and all that too. ;)
I’m not quite sure if this site is actually a joke because it sounds like one. Actually, I think it MUST be one - lol! And now I will let handsome devil Morrissey sing me straight into the flames of eternal hell :-))))
FUCKKKKKKKKKK THIS SHIT
LOOOOOOOOL FFS
Hey, think about this:
Your responses prove that even the majority of “atheists” don’t have 2 brain cells to rub together, since they aren’t even clueing in to the fact that this is all God’s true will.
Lol this is hilarious! Anyone who takes it seriously isnt getting the joke! (I hope its a joke anyway!) Haha intellect a sign of atheism!!! Morrissey - the patron saint of people got to hell! Not laughed like this in a while, especially :D
p.s I’m agnostic if anyone cares…
brilliant - this site is just brilliant :-)))) Hey, and who the hell is that Morrissey guy - the patron of the saint people going to hell? I’m gonna order all his records RIGHT NOW :-))))
You must be joking. As an atheist, I don’t have a problem with you believing in whatever alternate reality you choose. But MY ATHEIST MORAL COMPASS says that libel is wrong. That’s right, it’s wrong to spread lies about people, especially when you’re trying to worsen their reputation. It sounds like you just made this stuff up. And you even admit that you don’t know any atheists. So how can you know anything about us?
What you write here is worse than the Nazi libels against the Jews. Why don’t you accuse us of human sacrifice, while you’re at it?
I don’t really care where the universe came from or where we came from. If there were a god, I’d sure wonder where that god came from. If your answer to that question is that the maker of the universe is eternal and doesn’t need a maker, why couldn’t the universe itself be eternal? Don’t say, “Because the Bible says so.” People who believe in other religions are just as convinced of their holy books as you are of yours.
By the way, Al Gore is a Christian. Maybe you think he can’t be one because he’s a Democrat, but believe it or not, there’s more than one kind of Christian.
I’ll part with this one last thought. If there’s only one thing I want you to know, it’s that I don’t need to believe in God to have a moral compass.
My morals come from my desire to live in a happy society where we can trust our neighbors. That means I can’t run amok because I’d be making the world a worse place than it already is, and that’s not the kind of world I want to live in. That’s not the kind of world I want my friends and family to live in (yes, atheists do have friends and family just like everyone else).
i luv what u say. u r shning xample of jezuz. thanx!
“If you meet someone who you suspect of being cleverer than you, they may be an Atheist.”
absolutely right. not just a suspicion. at least in most cases.
hail eris
You are the ones who are ignorant, my dear friend.
But I loled.
Mandi -
What kind of “dome” shit DO you feed your kids?
Who has a better “moral compass”? An Atheist who commits good deeds out of pure compassion for his fellow man, or a Christian who commits good deeds out of the fear of eternal damnation?
What the…? That article is a joke, isn’t it? It must be! No one can possibly be as ignorant and arrogant as to write such a text without even doing proper research.
Oh, Sam, I pity you: you’ve been sooo brainwashed! Whoever told you that Atheists believe that men descend from apes? You might want to do your homework, Sam, before you ever write such a bullsh*** again. Your opinion is your opinion, but please, get the facts right - or are you afraid of being mistaken for an atheist if you get some education and question a few of those lies you believe just because some guy told you? But wait! That would mean to break with tradition, wouldn’t it?
A propos tradition: do you remember the 6. commandment? It’s “Do Not Murder” and not “Do not murder, but Atheists are an exception”… How dare you to advocate shooting ANYBODY and call yourself a Christian?!
Have you ever actually read the Bible? Or did you just pick the parts that suit you? Well, let me remind you of two of the most important teachings of Jesus:
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12)
and
“Be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.” (Luke 6:36)
It’s ironic, isn’t it? I am an educated and sensible Atheist, and at the same time a better Christian than you!
People like you make me so proud of being an Atheist!
P.S.: Speaking of being proud: Thanks to all the Atheists that sent a post here. =D Guys like that scare the shit out of me… I’m only glad to live in a country where guns are not that easy to get. ;D
P.P.S.: AND I don’t pick my nails!!! =D