Apple Computer, The Homosexual’s Favorite
Friends,
The other day Sam asked me to comment about Apple computers. It’s funny that I had only recently been thinking and praying about these queerest of computers. It certainly is true that Apple computers are very popular amongst the homosexual communities, the fact that these computers are so popular indicates the depths to which our great nation has sunk to.
The Apple corporation logo is naturally an apple with a bite taken out of it. Is it not a coincidence that Eve tempted Adam with an Apple? The apple is a symbol of defiance against God, and was an obvious choice for a company whose primary objectives include the liberalisation of all media, and which activly finances the political party that hates God.
When I first saw an apple computer (called a Mac, after the popular fast food product) with it’s “fruity” design, I had assumed that it was some kind of obsolete product aimed at latte sipping east-coast homosexual designers. This initial observation turned out to be only half true:
The apple computers are not as obsolete as their gaudy designs suggest - the Apple computer company, based in that Sodomite Central, Cupertino CA, have invested a great deal of money in keeping up with more mainstream American PC brands like Dell or IBM, however rather than compete on computing power, practicality or ease of use the Apple company prefer to emphasize “eye-candy”. If you are the sort of person who loves nothing more than gazing for hours at an aquarium full of brightly colored fish, then the feeling of using an Apple desktop will be most familiar.
The latest apple eMac named after the hacker tool built by open-source communist RMS. Note the oddly-shaped apple-mouse. Unike modern computer mice, the Apple product has only one button. This is because historically Apple computer failed to license the patent for including buttons on mice. Since most apple computers are used as children’s toys, their homosexual owners have barely noticed this deficiency, they are too busy thinking about sodomy worry about their computer’s obvious deficiencies.
Windows appear to swim around, distorting and melding into the “dock”, with almost psychedellic fluidity. Parts of the desktop become inexplicably transparant, and then return to normal or else swirl into oblivion. Control over windows is achived not through familiar buttons (like Window’s “X”), but candy colored blobs, which are designed to remind the user of “Extasy” tablets. I suspect that the Apple design team must have been doing more drugs than the average touring funk-band.
The Apple OSX platform is missing a large number of common and esential productivity tools commonly used on the Windows platform. For example the endearing BonziBuddy can only be found on Windows, and therefore will only run on a Mac that has been upgraded to Boot-Camp and Windows. I suspect that this is exactly what most Mac-owners will feel forced to do.
Naturally, the big question is, does the “alternative lifestyle” approach to computer design really pay-off for the people who count: The Users?
I think the answer is no. Having used computers all my life, I consider myself an expert in the day to day tasks of computing. The Microsoft Windows operating system makes installing, uninstalling, defragmenting, and removal of viruses and spyware trivially easy. It’s a shame that the Apple company (who unbelievably are much praised for their interface design) had not thought to make these everyday tasks simpler.
Apple have long been known for their ‘retro’ designs, like this the absurd Apple One. It’s made of real wood, and is designed to appeal to the hacker mentality who would much rather build their own computer than have a reliable machine, built by professionals.
As I have pointed out on a number of occasions both Linux and AppleMac fail to unclude a disk-defragmentor, a personal firewall, a standard method for installing or removing software or even a system repair utility. Microsoft introduced all of this in their epoch-making “Windows Me” edition. Linux users have had to get used to the lack of these essential productivity tools, however Linux is universally acknowledged as a cheap immitation of Windows. Mac on the other-hand is marketed as a full-price premium product.
Apple computers come preloaded with iTunes which only works with Apple’s oddly-coloured iPod. The Apple Mac cannot run the more popular “Windows Media Player”, and is therefore incompatible with Microsoft DRM or the wildly popular Microsoft Zune. This seems quite unfair to me, and is most probably an illegal monopoly.
Finally, we should also ask ourselves - is the Apple Mac good value for money? Superficially this may seem to be the case - Apple try to match price-points with Dell on a range of products, however the clues are in the small-print. All Dell products include the industry standard Windows XP (soon Windows Vista) as standard. Dell ensure that each computer comes with an operating system, without which the computer could not function. Apple computers are still bundled with OSX, an attractive but aging operating system based on the very old UNIX, a technology developed by SCO group in the early 70s. This is the the same technology which Linux developers were recently accused of stealing.
The Apple OSX software ran rather sluggishly on our test iBook, which I understand was one of the newest models. Later I was to leean that this was because Apple’s software is based on the obsolete and possibly stolen UNIX code-base. Most modern operating systems such as Windows Vista have long since abandoned this relic from the past.
Are apple aware of thier obvious limitations? We think they must be - only a few months ago they released a product that most shrill-voiced liberal Apple pundits believed was impossible: It’s called “Boot Camp” - a utility that upgrades any recent Apple computer to be compatible with the industry standard Microsoft Windows. Industry insiders now believe that this release heralds Apple Computer Corporation’s exit from the software business. For once, we at STR.com agree with Apple - this would be a sensible way to preserve shareholder value.
Apple computer make a big deal out of the claim that their absurdly lurid products are “Designed in California”, however a close inspection reveals that just like Linux, they are made in the Republic of China. Christians and Patriots should rather invest in an IBM ThinkPad, which is both designed and made in the USA.
Customers should also consider the moral aspects of buying an Apple computer. One reason for the queerness of Apple’s products is that the company’s board of directors includes Albert Gore - yes, the same Al Gore whose doom and gloom environmental cassandra-complex is intended to distract America from it’s real foes (the Islamofascists and Homosexuals). Apple has historically been a major backer of the Democratic party, and both Bill and Hillary Clinton, not to mention Osama Bin Laden are avid Apple Mac users.
The simple and sad fact is that if you buy a Mac or an iPod you are funding immorality. You are helping to finance the secularists who are ruining America.
Yours in Christ,
Tristan J. Shuddery
(STR.com Computing & Business Correspondant)
PS. You might be interested in our coverage of Linux, which is essentially the same thing as Apple’s OSX, you can find it all on our Linux Topic Page. We feel these articles are particularly relevant to business analysts, faith-based groups and our many corporate sponsors.
126 Comments so far
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Well done, Tristan.
Is there any reason to not use Windows other than to a hateful liberal agenda?
Apple computers are slow and ugly.
You might remember Tommy, the gay fella (I am still working on his gay conversion by the way). He owned a Mac but we forced him to sell it and he now uses a Dell and is very happy with it!
He admitted that he was only using an Apple because it was “in” and “trendy” in his former gay community.
Kind regards,
Shelley Goodman, Iowa City
[...] Apple <b>Computer</b>, The Homosexuals Favorite [...]
“The latest apple eMac named after the hacker tool built by open-source communist RMS.”
Where do you get this?? First the iMac was created, the “i” standing for internet, meant to target consumers rather than professionals. The eMac was made and meant for schools, the “e” standing for education. I worked for Apple, I know their products.
You know that Bonzi Buddy is SPYWARE, correct? I worked for Microsoft removing spyware and viruses, this one was a major pain. OSX isn’t affected by spyware. Viruses rarely. Do you actually like having to run virus scans and spyware scans every time you boot up? I sure don’t.
Stolen Unix code-base….stolen?
The iBook is no longer being made, and was replaced by the Macbook. It’s a lot faster than the iBook.
The first Apple Computer you have pictured was built a long, long time ago. I don’t think you can really use something so out of date to validate your argument.
“The Microsoft Windows operating system makes installing, uninstalling, defragmenting, and removal of viruses and spyware trivially easy.”
Did you ever try to get rid of an about:blank hijack that specifically targets Internet Explorer? It doesn’t go the first time, and comes back after a couple of reboots. And a lot of spyware is very stubborn when you try to remove it from the Add/Remove Programs function in the Control Panel. Sometimes removing spyware will kill your internet connection by corrupting your WinSock. You can download a program that will fix it, but…your internet connection is killed. Unless you have another computer at hand, you have to figure out another way to get it. Or, go into the registry, dump the keys, and hope that reinstalling nettcpip.inf works.
Yes, that’s easy, if you like everything complicated.
The following message was sent to me via email. I think it’s worth posting here:
Typically when you install an application you have files of this app in several folder all over the system. Since apple computers does not have a “UN-install” function it’s impossible to remove all files. Once installed you will always have remains on the hard drive. This fact plus the fact that macs do not have a disk de-fragmenter forces to reinstall the complete system about once a year, mostly loosing all or some personal files.
I really dislike apple because the system is very old fashioned and very primitive. Mac OS X is more a hippy dream of beating Microsoft than a real serious operation system.
Shelly, thanks for telling the truth!
[...] It?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s funny that I had only recently been thinking and praying about these queerest of computers. It certainly is true that Apple computers are very popular amongst the homosexual communities, the fact that these computers are so popular indicates the depths to which our great nation has sunk to. Windows appear to swim around, distorting and melding into the ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?dock?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?, with almost psychedellic fluidity. Parts of the desktop become inexplicably transparant, and then return to normal or else swirl into oblivion. Control over windows is achived not through familiar buttons (like Window?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?X?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?), but candy colored blobs, which are designed to remind the user of ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?Extasy?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? tablets. I suspect that the Apple design team must have been doing more drugs than the average touring funk-band. Shelley The Republican ? Apple Computer, The Homosexual’s Favorite [...]
Doesn’t Microsoft still own a stake in Apple, and they have done since before OSX?
I’m interested to see what reactions the above post yields….
And OSX is pretty good about avoiding fragmentation. But try fsck and, if necessary, Disk Warrior if you’re having problems.
Having never used an iMac, eMac or any other apple computer ever in my life i can truly say they suck. Shelley is just the only one brave enough to enlighten you people and what do you do? Criticize all the way?
Why dos the mac mouse have only one button? Because they are made for islamic terorist that lost most of their fingers in accidents trying to assemble bombs. How could they rightclick on normal mice when they are designing their bombs? They can’t.
And MacOS is not easy to use it’s just so simple and devoid of functions that even iliterate terorists can use it. Go Shelly, Go USA.
Cheers from Romania
Facts, facts, facts…
Quote: ‘ ..an IBM ThinkPad, which is both designed and made in the USA.’
ThinkPads are just labelled ‘IBM’ nowadays, they are made by Lenovo, a Chinese company. Catch up on your ‘knowledge’ here: http://www.lenovo.com/lenovo/us/en/
And the thing about the one-button mouse: you can hook up a two button mouse to a Mac if it’s USB and it will work just fine. That’s what I’ve done with my Mac because yeah, a one-button mouse sucks. That was stupid on their part, but it’s easily fixable to those that find it obnoxious. They’ve also started producing a five button mouse, but two really is enough for me.
let’s begin by the end of the stupidities :
Mac OS X has NOTHING to do with Linux : Linux is just the kernel running GNU/Linux.
Mac os X’s kernel (XNU) is based on FreeBSD’s one.
Nevertheless, mac OS X comply to POSIX, and embed many GNU tools. This makes it quite similar to Linux in command line mode.
A firewall is included by default. Unfortunately, it is so powerfull that I have not yet found a single graphical interface giving access to all of its functions. Apple provides a simple interface, that is enough for typical users.
No defragmentation required with Mac OS X under normal usage (no longer true if you only have a few MB free on your hard drive).
No anti-virus needed today
No anti-spyware needed today
-> a macintosh let you do your work instead of working to keep the machine usable.
I guess reading STR telling you mac OS X sucks will give you a proof that it simply rocks :-)
P.S. : very funy the comment about illegal monopoly. Because of course, M$ never abuse its monopoly Indeed, m$ surely have no monopoly, right ?
Tristan - you forgot an important fact: Apple computers have always been popular, not only among the sodomites and “arty types” (read “sodomites”) and - most importantly - TEACHERS!
And here I was, remembering being told by you, that Bin laden uses Linux. Now you tell me it’s Mac OS X? I am confused.
And about that Zune thingie, mind telling me, how something can be popular when it has not even been released yet? xD
Dear Tristan,
As you claim to be Business Correspondant for STR, a pro-economy media, you should not moan about “monopolies” like this:
“Apple computers come preloaded with iTunes which only works with Apple?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s oddly-coloured iPod. The Apple Mac (…) is incompatible with Microsoft DRM or the wildly popular Microsoft Zune. This seems quite unfair to me, and is most probably an illegal monopoly.”
You might nou ask yourself: “Why shouldn’t I moan about anti-economic monopolies?” Actually, you’re asking the right question; monopoly IS bad and illegal! But in the case described by you, a monopoly is not given.
A monopoly is defined as situation in which there can be no more than one provider of a service or good.
If your example should meet the conditions to be an example for a monopoly, Apple must be the unique seller (or better: since the market is this big (world..) have over 90% market share). However, this is not the case and Apple computer don’t even have a market share of 3%, which makes it unpossible to have a monopoly.
The other way around, apple has a defacto monopoly, achieved throught hard work and a excellent product: the iPod. They own 3/4 of the global MP3-player-Market. This is not because they forced Computer-Users to use iPods (how could they possibly?), yet they managed to make their product almost a “must-have”. That is excellent entrepreneurship (ah, my beloved french word again :))!
Please, dear Tristan, educate yourself in economics! You cannot blaim the EU, which is working against unfair competition, to misstreat Microsoft (”[The EU] .. has made a law that says Microsoft must pay one-million Euros a day until they strip out all the features from Vista that Linux doesnt have …). Other than Apple, they have a nearby-monopoly on the computer-market. And they try to force users to use THEIR DRM, THEIR Media-Player, THEIR InternetExplorer and THEIR Hardware. Not enabling competition but flooding the market with immature products (”Zune”) just because one has the power to do so is against the laws of economics. That is illegal, That is what you should moan about, because the consumer pays more for a worse product due to the leaking competition!
I hope my post will manage to open your eyes (and your non-economic mind). How was that already with democracy (the thing your country would like to spread all over the world)? Only the mature and educated people are worth the democracy! (Source: Greek and French philosphers like Plato and Rousseau) If you don’t want to think, get yourself a dictator who does everything for (against) you.
Greetings from Switzerland
Marc
Great Tristan,
I like it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?Ǭ?.
But one fact, the file system used by GNU/Linux doesn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t need fragmentation. There is a big difference between windows and GNU/Linux. The old windows file system NTFS (invent on 2000 year) need fragmentation every month. The GNU/Linux has 4 different file systems and everybody can choose witch of them will use when install own distribution. No one on these file systems will not need fragmentation. If the file system has errors you may run a simple command fsck, and this will repair your computer neither for a minutes, nor like windows fragmentation for tree-five hours.
——————————
The Bulgarian GNU/Linux user
I am from freedom loving England.
The news coming across the Atlantic seems to be that it is the Republican Party who were the ones trying to have sex with under-age boys. Apparently they use Microsoft Messenger to seduce them online. Microsoft seem to be developing software specifically to facilitate homosexual acts between leading Republicans and young boys.
Have I gotten this wrong?
Glyn :
Razor sharpe analysis, it seems, after all, that republicans and microsft are the center of a conspiracy aiming to destroy all the values the bible taught us !
They are definitly disgusting, and they will all go to hell :-D
The latest apple eMac named after the hacker tool built by open-source communist RMS.
Are you insane or what? RMS invented Emacs, which is a software and it has absolutely nothing to do with Apple.
This says how much you know about what you’re talking about.
Really I hope that this whole website is just a huge joke, because I don’t think somebody could be so blind and ignorant.
And a lot of spyware is very stubborn when you try to remove it from the Add/Remove Programs function in the Control Panel.
America rules… I never ever had an idea to remove spyware from Control Panel.
The iPod is essentially an extension of the Mac in terms of design philosophy and appeal. So…
How do you feel about the fact that even George Bush owns an iPod? Yes folks. George Bush must be gay.
keep using windows its easiest to hack and keeps me and my hacker brothers in business of writing virus, trojans, and hacks in general. i have plenty of great free hacker tools for windows.
yes please, do continue using windows… it is pretty much the worst punishment i can think of anyway :P
a liberal Buddhist European (Greek) Gentoo Linux user
eres casado? tu tambien te follas al presidente? enhorabuena, eres un usuario Dell
No toques los cojones a los maricas, ultimamente hemos aprendido a matar gilipollas como tu…
Ok, I’m no mac fan by any means. I think they are un-intuative and annoying to use. But seriously, you are freaking retarded. I can’t even point out all the rediculous mistakes in this article. I’m a programmer and you are an inbread idiot. Why don’t you do the world a favor and jump off a freaking bridge! I really hope that this webpage is a joke. I mean, it has to be. People can’t be this stupid. How many generations of inbreeding would it take to create an individual like you. Please tell me that this website is a joke. please. I have hope for this world, and if this page isn’t a joke, my hope is lost.
[...] - Sobre el mundo Mac, varias cosas: el lanzamieno de un iPod rojo que simboliza la lucha contra el SIDA, el art??culo de Linus Torvalds sobre el MacMini ha aparecido en todos los blogs y por ??ltimo un enlace gracioso, un tipo que llega a la conclusi??n que los Macs son para homosexuales. [...]
dear shelley,
this rules. i just love you. don’t you ever change.
-g
[...] Apple <b>Computer</b>, The Homosexuals Favorite [...]
Booked as the greatest funsite :o) Have never seen such ironic view of American life ;o)
Is there any reason to not use Windows other than to a hateful liberal agenda?
Because it?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s unreliable, unsecure, prone to get infected by viruses and is crashing everytime it really hurts? No, there must be another reason… ahh, yes, Microsoft Windows has alos spyware already built in. No thanks, Bill.
Why dos the mac mouse have only one button? Because they are made for islamic terorist that lost most of their fingers in accidents trying to assemble bombs. How could they rightclick on normal mice when they are designing their bombs? They can?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t.
Ok, now that?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s a lot of bull****.
1. Most terrorists assembling bombs know what they do and thus don?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t lose their limbs.
2. Designing a bomb on a computer? Most of those easy made booby traps and explosives are easily made without planning. and there are books, you know.
3. Most islamic terrorists don?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t really have access to a computer and the ones having it don?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t care for the company. They are all infidels after all.
Unix and Linux have a similar Kernel and that?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s it.
The German Guy
IMPEACH BUSH! And kill Bill (Gates) for that abomination called Windows!
Ohh God!!.. Macs are ruining Am??Ǭ©rica!!…I love to masturbate watching porno on my Mac… I feel that gay using Mac… I have not realized that my mouse has one button!! I only use it to sodomize myself!!…
fuck you son eof a bitch christianfascist…
OMG! Were you really thinking when you wrote…this?! Are you joking? I mean…this is the most stupit thing I’ve never read. How have you got this “ideas”? If you say that kind of things…Bill Gates copied Mac OS so…is he an allien? Or some kind of sodo-gay-immoral man? If all of you are bored in your houses try to do useful things like…going to a psychologist, you’ll get help there. I don’t think these topics are from a sane man.
TUS ARGUMENTOS SON COMO POCO DIGNOS DE UN GILIPOLLAS… :P
Jeeeeesus… You’re either really funny or a complete wacko. What a somewhat entertaining pile of disinformation and plain lies…
There is positive news though. The percentage of Mac’s in the internet is less than 2% on this webiste.
Thank God, macs are a dying species.
You just keep such a sin against God keep up that long. I predict that withing the next 5 years Apple will stop making computers.
God bless America!
Shelley Goodman
Another brilliant analysis of the threats America faces from the most excellent (and, I’m sure, most humble, in the way of a true Christian) Tristan! But Tristan, I’m surprised you left off the most dangerous aspect of the worship of the false god Apple: Apple’s CEO, Steve Jobs, is THE SON OF AN ARAB!!! Yes, it’s true. We are being infiltrated. Furthermore, this man is now not only the head of Apple, but also (no doubt through dirty insider-trading tactics) the majority shareholder of Disney. (I’m sure he must’ve gotten help from the evil Hillary Clinton, whose crooked manipulations of futures trading are well documented.) Yes, it’s true — the great American symbol of purity and virtue, Mickey Mouse, is now under Arab control!!! How long will it be before Mickey is seen sporting Muslim paraphenalia? How long will it be before the Disney castle is transformed into a mosque?
Tristan, you and Shelley must expose this evil plot to brainwash our kids with Muslim propoganda before it is too late! We are counting on you!!!
Ah yes, republican, that makes sense… absolutely not one shed of truth or fact in anything you’ve said, no attempt what-so-ever to educate yourself in even the smallest way, and lambasting others for a differing view from your completely fucked personal viewpoint. All this while claiming personal “godliness” as you simultaneously torture innocent civilians, fondle underage children and engage in the very homosexual acts you claim to hate. Indeed, you are the role-model of the modern republican.
Shelley and Tristan are definitely great Americans.
In one hand… What kind of idiot could ever believe or even think you’re right?
oh, sorry, i almost forgot you cannot think, you’re not allowed to think, because if you could, you’d stop givnig money to that sucker Bill Gates and use a computer who works with you not a piece of junk that makes YOU work for it.
on the other hand, if you cannot stop talking about homosexuals, maybe you’re the one who’s homosexual. you seem to know very well what they like….
Business End:
For some programs (ie WinTools), Add/Remove programs will not remove it. But since a lot of things come bundled with a lot of downloaded software, this is a good place to start before running a scan with an anti-spyware/anti-virus program. Removing NewDotNet with AdAware or Spybot will mess up your internet connection and require a downloadable fix, whereas removing it through Add/Remove programs will not.
There are of course other tools, but attempting removal through Add/Remove programs first is the easiest to avoid complications.
You’re an idiot. Your story was full of half truth’s and you should be condemned to hell for the hateful remarks you wrote. I’m a married conservative republican with 2 children, who loves these computers. They work great, the reason you don’t have to defrag, or use anti-spyware/virus, is because you don’t have to on these machines. You can’t get a virus, defraging is done in the background automatically, and they work fast. Windows is the old relic from the past, even your beloved Vista, which is soon to arrive, is a recompiled Windows 95. Oh, and before I forget, I’m not fond of Clinton or Gore either, but our current President Bush also uses these great computers, and has an iPod. So, the next time you feel empowered to write something on the subject you’ve got no clue on… please don’t bother. Also, IBM sold there notebook division to Lenovo, some time ago, a Chinese company.
You’re a fucking dumbass. How come movie producers use Apple computers then? How come photographers, ad agencies use Macs?
Mike Rowe
That is what I call dumb thinking, even for liberal standards.
So, how many “movie producers”, “photographers” and “ad agencies” use mac? 1000 in total? And on the other side you find 3 Billion PCs. What does this tell us?
Shelley.G
I noticed that mostly linux user comment here. Macintosh users don’t seem to comment. Why? Because we are right!
Kind regards,
Shelley Goodman
“I noticed that mostly linux user comment here. Macintosh users don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t seem to comment. Why? Because we are right!”
Maybe because Mac users don’t give a shit what some dumbass inbred rednecks think.
Or maybe they are smart enough to figure out this is all a big joke.
Oh, really?
Are you using a Macintosh?
“An’ on the eighth day, God created the Remington lever-action rifle; so that man could shoot the dinosaurs … and the homosexuals.”
Loved it. It is just so true that you are un-American if you don’t submit to being rodgered up the bum by Microsoft. They of the Holy Monopoly, possessors of the sacred Dollar and masters of the holy words .NET, Vista and Internet Explorer.
http://www.shelleytherepublican.com is always my favorite joke website.
Wow!
I always thought macosx users were gay. After all it’s a gay OS. Used by gay designers to do their photoshop work!
Thanks for your enlightening article, Shelley!
And Linux…well it sucks. It recently adopted some archaic filesystems like GFS2, OCFS2 etc…we all know Windows uses clustered filesystems since ages :)
Greetings from a true fan of yours from Bulgaria! God be with us!
Now I understand why so much people in the comments support Shelley and her team: I had written “Shelley and Tristan are definitely Great Americans.”, their logic is just to clever for the dumb-ass liberals and euro-trash who hang out in this forum.
I’m a mac user and I’ve been laughting for hours reading this so idiot article xDD. Let’s go, call me gay, thought I’m happily married with my perfect woman. Yes I’m catolic as well and I don’t agree with anything you’ve said man. It’s so stupid that I can’t believe only one person has thought it. Why don’t mac users write here? Because only a fucked pc users so closed of mind can visit this web site and feel well.
Anyway…do you have any idea about Pc history? So you are saying a mac is a shit although pc comes from a bad plagiarism of a mac? Do you know your loved IBM was the creator of older mac cpus? Anything you say is right so please next time try to have any argument or something beacuse that’s just being idiot.
Greetings
If you love God and say all this crap, I’d prefer hate God than been like a moron like you
Stop editing my comments ._.
Fuck the republicans and fuck the USA. I am from the UK, you probably don’t know where that is because it’s not in the US you stupid bastards. GOD BLESS AMERICA lol , you’ll need him to bless you, why? George Bush thats why lol .
“Apple Computer, The Homosexual?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s Favorite”
you are totally sick
Funniest piece I’ve read in a long time - proof that too much Windows use rots the brain.
[...] Via PlanetaMac [...]
Si eres m??Ǭ?s tonto no naces.
Monotheist = idiot
I prefer Macs to Wintel because of better quality, better user interface and better look. This is my opinion. I tired to experience Wintel crashes and viruses after many years. Thanks for this site.
Pasi from Finland
Fuck the pope
Shelley, the world needs your wisdom and clear thinking now more than ever. Keep it up!
Thank you Shelley. You have opened my eyes. I see so very clearly. It’s time. Time for me to step out into the open. Time for me to face who and what I am.
I am a Mac user. God forgive me.
Whew. That was at once liberating and embarassing. Although not quite as embarassing as some of the comments above… especially the economics lesson. Heh.
Now I’m off to read The Onion to see what else is wrong with the world in which we live.
lol - hilarious article - but i feel kind of sad for all you guys (male & female) who are taking it serious!
;-)
Well, first things first:
1) Thank all those True God-Fearing Republican Americans for providing me with so much stress-relief laugther for all the months I’ve been hitting this page.
2) I don’t use Macs because I find the PC more versatile and I don’t have that much spare money to invest into an Apple. But, from my past day in the graphics/advertising industry, I know Macs rocks over PCs (with Window$) in performance and design, both software and hardware.
3) I’m gay, incidentally and I don’t give a swut about what you might think
4) POSIX compliant designs rock, Pepsi is better than Coke, Volvo’s are the best, Sony rules the world, MacDonald sucks, Earth is not flat, Xanax won’t make you feel better in the end, my home is Europe, and I believe that everyone is responsible for what s/he does and experiences the consequences, good or bad, in the end…
…so, do whatever floats your boat and don’t let the fear-beset ones to get on to you :)
Jesus loves Macs
in Arabic shelley means homophobic racist spastic. Thought that you might like to know that.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that get 1,000 to the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release (From Mr. Welch himself): “If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:”
For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought “Car95″ or “CarNT.” But then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single “general car fault” warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.
Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grab hold of the radio antenna.
GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Ran McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
Oh! and you’d press the “start” button to shut off the engine.
“Oh! and you?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥d press the ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?start?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ? button to shut off the engine.
Gary,
congratulations to the stupidest argument there is against Windows!
It is very sad with what you Windows-haters have to come up to make your point.
For me it makes perfect sense to click on “Start” to shut the maschine down. You “Start” the shutdown process. So what?!
Shelley Goodman
Wow. Just, wow. Please tell me this is a joke site. They called it a Mac after the famous fast food product, eh? Because, you know, calling it a Mac, which is short for Macintosh, which is (go figure) a type of apple just wouldn’t make sense, would it? And the fact that, according to you, there are only 1,000 movie makers/recording studios that use Macs. And then there’s the big one. The fact that Apple products are targeted at homosexuals. Because, you know, making a simple, easy to use product, and packaging it in a fun, colorful way wouldn’t appeal to younger generations. No, that wouldn’t make sense either.
You say you worry for this country’s future. So do I. When I see such blatant ignorance, simple thinking, and unrestrained bigotry, I worry. Fortunately people are starting to open their minds. You should try that sometime. Oh, and I’m a straight windows user, because obviously that makes a difference.
This is the funniest article I have read in months!
For the more serious minded among you, let me offer a bit of insight from someone who works with a Mac AND PC all day, everyday at work:
1. Macs rule when it comes to anything graphics-based, such as memory-hog apps like Adobe Illustrator/Photoshop, etc. It is a stable and reliable operating environment that can handle having 8 apps open at once.
2. Macs are not really the target of viruses, trojans, etc. So I think it’s comparing apples to oranges when you talk about the ease of “cleaning.”
3. Don’t be afraid of the “psychedelic” interface. Sometimes I move the mouse over the launch bar to make the app icons bigger and smaller as I swish side to side. I know other people, real live straight folks, that do it too. It helps them think.
4. PC’s rule for when I am coding. Maybe it’s because I learned Dreamweaver on a PC, but it’s more comfortable and the file structure, DOS commands, etc. make more sense to me.
5. I hate OSX on servers because the protocol used is too chatty. It’s torture trying to get my mail off the server in the morning via Entourage, especially with a heavy spam attack. I would definitely use Unix/Linux over MS or OSX anyday. But OSX is especially ass-chapping.
5. I have a hard time taking anyone seriously who is incapable of making a rational arguments. The gentleman here demonstrates his inability to make a rational argument by invoking the invisible sky daddy’s son who sacrificed a three day weekend for our sins. I say, long live the secularists! Less mental illness for all!
Let the flaming begin with your sad, pathetic pleas to “burn in hell”, “find Jesus”,”you’re going to be sorry”, etc. begin.
I can’t wait to post the link to the screen shot of what I REALLY said, so edit away.
I’m both a conservative and heterosexual. From reading your article, it doesn’t seem that you are qualified to write about anything technical; since your writing is both false and misleading. There is no moral aspect to buying an Apple computer; it is just like buying one from Dell or HP. If there was one, they would all be on equal footing. They all mostly use the same component manufacturers in China and the same raw materials from African countries practicing genocide…
Holy mother of god, you’re almost as bad as the islamo-fascists you claim to be defending us from… It’s always interesting to take note of the people who claim to be christians, but who are totally ignoring Jesus’s central message of tolerance and love, while fixating on hateful messages of intolerance and spite (espoused by those only claiming to be carrying the word but who in fact have totally missed, if not deliberately distorted, the point).
Please do us all a favor and spend a day meditating on the beauty of the world in a quiet forest. And get laid.
It seems illogical to link sexual orientation with market preference. Mac’s were designed roughly to mimic how the human brain organizes and processes information. Would that mean glbt people prefer OS’s that are more intuitive for use?
Wow, this is either one of the funniest or most idiotic things I have ever seen… I hope it’s the former, because I’d hate to think that you actually believe any of that. I’m going to operate under the assumption, since this is the first time I’ve been to this site, that it is mostly sarcasm.
Please for the love of god let this be a joke or I will lose all faith in mankind. What kind of person writes completely unfounded, offensive, biggoted statements like these? Virtually nothing in the above article is true. Do some research next time perhaps, so you won’t sound like a complete moron.
Classic. This is the funniest article I’ve read in a long time.
I’m not into politics, so the rest of the site is wasted on me, but here’s hoping you post more computer related articles.
(posting this via my very gay Mac)
A7
***”I noticed that mostly linux user comment here. Macintosh users don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t seem to comment. Why? Because we are right!
Kind regards,
Shelley Goodman”***
Oh sweet simple Shelly, it’s merely because we know that as a windows user and a republican, you just wouldn’t understand what we are saying. Now run along and play with “Paint” on your PC; your milk and cookies will be along shortly dear. After nap time I’ll show you the true meaning of sodomy; a smooth, one button mouse won’t hurt at all dear.
[...] Read why Apple computers are for homosexuals. [...]
i don’t know what’s more funny…the fact that some republicans got hooked on this thing or perhaps the non-republicans getting all stired up. anybody look shelleytherepublican on the web? or check out their logo?
wow, that has got to be the biggest load of false crap ever written… maybe you should actually research the facts before you write about shit you really dont know nothing about
[Editor's Note - ShelleyTheRepublican.com is an American website and comments should be written in American.?Ǭ¨?¢‚Ǩ¬† We tolerate some small amount of foriegn language within comments, but unlike the Southwest United States, we refuse to allow Mexican-only posts.?Ǭ¨?¢‚Ǩ¬† Thus, this comment was deleted.]
Shelley, you have only begun to penetrate the seemy underbelly of homosexual Mac users. First, let me post a large disclaimer, this web site is NOT SAFE FOR WORK:
http://macfag.com
The site contains numerous homosexual images, many of a homoerotic nature. These Mac users are gay and proud of it! We must do our part as evangelical Christians to bring the word of Christ and get them on computers created by Christians and not by a SATANIC company like Apple:
http://objectiveministries.org/creation/propaganda.html
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
This must be one of those setups for an upcoming TV series, like the fake lonelygirl15 on YouTube. This is just too stupid to be true.
You are truly nuts … no bloody wonder everyone hates americans with an attitude like yours.
This has to be the single most worrying blog I’ve seen in my life. You are a truly dangerous person because you have a forum for your idiotic rantings.
[...] You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. Leave aReply [...]
Only in america…
Holy #$%^, that’s hysterical… The responses are even better than the original post…
Rediculous. The best Joke yet. Use this Logic: Everything on this site is the opposite of the truth, or damn close to it. Therefore, Apple computers are among the finest in the world. We aren’t dumb. It seems you make these articles to state the exact opposite of the truth, just to make rational people angry, or make some people laugh at you. Since your invalid test used a 7 year old ibook to run the latest version of the mac os, lets do a comparison. Try to load windows vista on a 7 year old IBM thinkpad/laptop. It will not install at all or function. Despite the fact that the ibook os x test was complete bogus, it proves that a 7 year old mac can run a brand new operating system within tollerable speeds. Didn’t see that one coming. You loose, Shelley.
Funny article! I’m Apple user! Why don’t you work for the same money like chinese people, then we build the Macs and the iPods in the USA!
I’m earning millions for being so sexy! I’m so sexy…
You literally make me want to throw up. You are not deserving of the label of a Christ follower.
Not to mention you really have no idea what youre talking about.
There is no defrag because all mac programs are contained in a single folder. Drag that folder to the trash and the program and every remnant of it is gone.
I was a PC user for 18 years, then i switched for the ease of use and wonderful and beautiful design.
Did i mention you make me sick?
But really, thanks for your page, its given me a ‘non-credible’ resource for my research paper.
-C
I hereby nominate you to be the next head od the soon to formed American Taliban. A position reserved for moron’s.
This whole website is a written in direct communication with the LORD Jesus and consultation with George W Bush, right? It’s too close to the true truth to be anything but divinely inspired.
you DID know that bonzy buddy is spyware, right? :)
My God, you people seriously need to lay off the medical marijuana.
[...] Original post by Tristan Shuddery and software by Elliott Back [...]
Man,only faggots bends down like religious people that worship that scum called god!Spread your cheeks,Pc heads!
Your site is so out of touch and incorrect, you should seriously think about taking it down.
Look at Apple’s stock price today buddy, look at their current hardware and software. No comparisons to anything in the pc world except maybe Sony’s line on the pc side.
Last but not least look at their ‘Total Cost of Ownership’.
Best regards,
Britt NYC
You’re wrong about Al Gore. His daughter is an executive at Microsoft!
This all sounds like a bunch of crap, Shelly, have you ever gone on a Apple computer before? It’s running capability is far more superior to Windows. I have had both computer systems and I have had far less problems with the Apple computer, correction I have had no problems with the Apple computer. Windows on the other hand has crashed many times and it has only cause problems. The reason why Apple has iTunes is because it is far more supperior than Windows “zune”. It works far better then “zune” and all Windows does is try and mimick Apple because it has done a lot better. The only reason why you are complaining about the Apple is because you do not own one and do not know how great it actually is. It performs better, looks better, and in the long run it is a lot cheaper then any Windows computer. It may have a high sticker price at the start because it comes with everything you need. It doesn’t take day to set up, you can take it out of the box, plug it in and go. I think you should actually test your product and do some more investigation before you spout out so much crap about thing you don’t know. The “i” in iMac stands for Internet, the “e” in eMac stands for education because that is what apple has designed that computer for. You are the most uninformed journalist I have ever met, I don’t understand how this can even be on the internet.
Thats the most stupid thing I have ever heared
[Editor's Note - SPEAK AMERICAN!!]
Quite frankly, this is by far one of the most far flung things I have EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE. The accusations and derivations are absolutely absurd. Apple’s aren’t made for STANDARD USERS. Apple products are made primarily for creative individuals, not the “I only check email and go to christian websites” people. The applications designed for apple are made with strict control by Apple which is what contributes to the Mac reliability that have made it a staple amongst creative professionals. I myself am using a Apple Powerbook G4, one of the last ever built, right now and I am by no means homosexual. I am rather a born again believer in power of Jesus Christ on the cross as a redeemer of sins and in his resurrection from cross and a believer in ALL the truths of the bible, not just the convenient one. And to be perfectly blunt, you sir, are looking for something to be wrong and are trying to use God to validate your own opinions. GOD IS NOT SUBJECT TO YOUR OPINIONS!! God runs his own show, HIS WAY. God does not have to do anything that you want Him to, he does things as HE CHOOSES. So stop trying to justify yourself with all of your so called “logic” and “christian-ese” language. Step off your own soap box and join humanity on the ground. Join the rest of us who don’t use God for our own means, but rather for God’s own meanse and HIS own purposes. I frankly can’t believe that a bible believing Christian would do this. And to be perfectly frank, I know middle school students who are more secure and knowledgeable in their faith than you are.
As to your accusations about “ecstasy tablet buttons”…WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT THE COLORS ARE? They’re the same colors as a traffic light! Are the Department of Transportation guys on drugs too? How short sighted are you. And how very very sorry I am for you and how you waste God’s talent in this way. Stop attacking and start loving people for who they are, not who you want them to be. step down and have compassion on people, love them, suffer with them, and just simply be Jesus to them. You my friend, are uninformed and looking for something to be wrong with people. You can never change the world until you are willing to love people absolutely and unconditionally.
Shelley,
I work for a church in PA called Christian Life Assembly. If you feel so inclined, check us out @ http://www.christian-life.com. Here’s the deal: WE USE MACS! We use Power Mac’s in both of our post-production facilities: for Audio Recording and for Video Editing running Final Cut Pro 5 and Digidesign Pro Tools HD7. Your in the dark ages I’m afraid. Your “new” iBook was a G3! Thats WAY old! thats like trying to compare a pentium I to an Intel Core 2 Duo…its not even a competition! Even further, a G3 compared to the modern Core 2 Duo processors (used by BOTH your beloved IBM and Dell corporations and by the “dreaded” Apple) is like trying to race a tricycle against even a minivan…its just an idiotic race to begin with. Absurd. Ludicrous. Gaytarded. I don’t know what kind of crack your smoking…but you need to stop. Its affecting your writing. And once again, STOP USING GOD TO VALIDATE OUR OWN OPINIONS! you have no right to speak for God, He’s more than big enough to do that on his own if He so chooses. Step off shelley.
[...] The video below is supposed to be a parody of that Apple commercial with the chubby guy and Keanu Reeves.?Ǭ¨?¢‚Ǩ¬† Apple Computers.?Ǭ¨?¢‚Ǩ¬† The people who make the Macintosh.?Ǭ¨?¢‚Ǩ¬† The computer that makes you gay. [...]
Hello all,
This is your best article yet (although I had my doubts because I really liked the article about soy and homosexuality). It gave me many minutes of intense laughter.
people like you are the reason why the rest of the world does not like America. Fortunately there are also Americans who actually have (and use) a brain, regardless of their political beliefs.
It seems to me that you lack the basic knowledge to make a technical review about anything… Please do not embarrass yourself (although I admit it is quite funny).
Regards
Pedro
[...] the way it is, thank you very much. I like my wars manufactured, my God vengeful and imaginary, my computers fruity and afeminite, and my countries human rights abuses neglected and ignored. Oh, and of course, my racism going [...]
1. Apples are way better then PCs. more relable and more secure.
2. george W. Bush sucks and shouldn’t be persedent
3. the christain religon is flawed
Like many of your readers I had a great laugh about the ‘facts’ in your article.
Some suggestions for a follow up article:
- All Apple users are gay, except for those that are Republican
- All Dutch are gay and therefore Democrat scum
- George W. Bush declares Apple the new Republicans religion (and I will follow him blindly)
Lots of laughs!
I don’t know whats so funny about it.
Homosexuality is destroying our society!
Shelley
Proud Republican, Queer using linux.
’splain that one.
I’m a Proud Republican queer using linux.
’splain that one.
Closing with “Yours in Christ” makes the whole article pretty much useless, pointless, senseless, obnoxious ridiculous and not be taken seriously at all. Besides, Jesus wasn’t supposed to be married and roamed the countryside with a merry band of 12 men. Sounds pretty gay to me.
Quoting Jerry Seinfeld: “Not that there’s anything wrong with that…”
Nifty. Not as good as The Bible, but still a good read.
I thought Americans are normal…. but they are NOT
Bazzmeg
oh… i forgot… LINUX IS BEST LINUX HAVE 3D DESKTOP DONT HAVE ANY VIRUSES ANY SPYWARE IS FASTER THAN SHITTY MICRO$OFT VYNDOVZ AND ITS ABSOLUTLY FREE…. AND IF U DONT KNOW THIS SERVER IS RUNNING ON LINUX :D :D :D HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
http://weird-comix.kylepoint.com This Indian man runs a satanic comic called Weird Comix, which praises the Mac as a substitute for Our Lord. Some of his comics even make fun of Jesus Christ, or show Satanism and games being held up as objects of glory.
http://weird-comix.kylepoint.com/?strip_id=83 This one openly mocks the image of Christ dying for our sins on the cross, using it as a tool for his “Pun Week.” Clearly a sign of blasphemy and hatred.
http://weird-comix.kylepoint.com/index.php?strip_id=67 This one also mocks Jesus’ image, twisting his miracle into another tool for his hatred on Christianity.
http://weird-comix.kylepoint.com/index.php?strip_id=29 This one even takes a video game called Solid Gear, a game in which you kill innocent soldiers, and combines it with Satanism; another blasphemy and mockery of our ways.
This Indian Man is a horrible person, and his comic proves it. I am warning you of this blasphemous creation so that you may steer clear of it. I am with you all the way!
-From A True American Hero To Another
Well if you want to get technical check out some of the fine folks at microsoft–>>http://www.thetaskforce.org/about_us/board_of_directors/sarahfletcher
youre just mad cause you cant afford one. go to best buy and play with the webcam. suck my macbook pro. :)
americanhero, its called metal gear solid, and its cooler than you’ll ever be. the games are labeled as “tactical espionage action” and that basically what it is. you play as solid snake (raiden in sons of liberty) and you are trying to stop the production of a nuclear capable super-weapon called “metal gear.” the games are a mix of stealth and action, with lots of hiding and evading enemies. go buy a gamecube and twin snakes. yeah “innocent soldiers” why doesnt anyone research things before they post them on this site? idiots.
Is this real? Or are you kidding? Are you truly ill-informed, or did you just make stuff up? You should probably rethink your 100% accuracy claim.
Oh, and if you’ll recall in mythology, Cassandra’s predictions of gloom and doom came true, so you might want to use a different metaphor for Al Gore.
I will pray for God to fill your heart with his love. Bless you, and have a wonderful day.
Well my several of my family members are gay men and they own Macs. You got me thinking …Hmmmmmmmm
[...] sure if this is fake or not (I really hope for the sake of humanity it is), but apparently apple computers are the homosexual’s favorite. My favorite quote is, ” … Bill and Hillary Clinton, not to mention Osama Bin Laden are [...]
You are so dumb. The MAC was named after Macintosh, a kind of APPLE!!!!!!!!! MAC, Scottish, get it? The Big Mac is named after McDonald’s that created it. Mc, McDonald’s Irish. But they couldn’t name it the Big Mc, so they went with Big Mac, even though they are not MacDonald’s. The Mac was named after an Apple, not a McBurger, duh!!!!!
Atomoxetine….
Atomoxetine….
Awesome article, but not exactly news. I told my friends about this and they loled so hard, because this is the stuff we and fellow republicans have known about for years but havent quite been able to put the finger on it.
Not that theres anything wrong with being a fag, this is a free country and everyone has the right to make their own choices, and its up to each and everyone of us to follow the path which we believe is right.