Ramadan-a-ding-dong
PFC Michael Rob here with another dispatch from the war against Islamofascism! First of all, I want to say sorry for not writing you sooner. After my last letter, I got in a whole heap of trouble ? it seems that a bunch of liberals didnt like me saying mean things about the terrorists, and sent the U.S. Marines a whole bunch of which eventually got to my C.O. He really loved my article but ordered me to stay away from liberals for a month or so! And that was a month ago, and now I am back with an all new letter.
So, did you hear the news from Iraq? This is the month they call Ramadan, the time of year when Terrorists are not allowed to eat anything for a whole month. Naturally they get angry, and start shooting off their guns, and we marines start shooting back. Soon we are going to shoot the last terrorist and our work here will be done, but until then we’ve got to stay the course, and there’s no time of year when I’d like to be home more than the crazy month of Ramadan.
Ramadan Prank: We caught this islamofascist after one of our informers reported him criticizing our President. We made him sit on top of the KFC and told him that if he didnt keep eating Zingers we would shoot his sister. In the night he fell asleep and hit the ground and broke his leg. Thanks to the U.S. marines, this islamofascist’s reign of terror is over!
I just want to re-iterate the point I made last month about liberal media: We soldiers are sick to death of liberals criticizing our mission. There isnt a single marine in my unit who isnt prepared to stick with this mission till terrorism is a thing of the past. The U.S. Marines never quit!
The food in Iraq used to be sh**, but it’s cool now. We’ve got McDonalds, Taco Bell and they just opened a walmart in the Green-Zone. Another cool Ramadan prank is to chow-down right infront of a group of islamofascists. If they get all upity we just call in an airstrike. Isnt that hilarious?
Last week a liberal journalist asked me how I felt about the fact that no WMDs were found in Iraq. I could have punched that woman, because I knew she was trying to bash our president. It’s a typical liberal ploy - she was really asking me if I thought that the President had lied about WMDs in Iraq.
I told the woman that we Marines don’t care about WMDs, we are here to fight the battle of Good against Evil. What could be a better reason to fight a war than that? I told her that we were here because God wanted us to be here, and that he needs us to kill his enemies, the Islamofascists.
It would have been great if we’d found those WMDs, and Lord knows we looked hard. Saddam probably gave the WMDs to his allies the Iranians before his evil empire fell. But just because we haven’t found the WMDs, doesn’t mean they were never here… and we found something worse than WMDs, we found evil.
These golden arches are a sign of progress and civilisation. Every time I bite into a quarter-pounder with Cheese, I know it’s God’s way of thanking the hard-working soldiers of the USA.
Thats all for me this week. I’m praying to God to help me through Ramadam. My buds think we can stop these terrorists fighting by force-feeding them KFC. When they have a full stomach they might come to know the Love of Jesus.
PFC Michael Rob,
US MARINES
Haditha,
Al-Abnar Province
Iraq
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I’m a 14-year-old “democ-rat” living in the blue state of Washington (oh no, kill me!). I use Linux exclusively, I’m a programmer, and I’m an atheist, although I respect everyone’s choice of religion and I think religion is a way to become more focused…although you seem to be misusing it.
However, even though my morals are supposedly so terrible, I object to your torture of that Muslim…that is, if this site is not a parody.
Your site seems so uninformed, outrageous, and flamebait that I can’t help but feel it’s all a big joke. And if it is, congratulations, you really made my day. But I still have that nagging suspicion that there really are people as stupid as you.
PFC Michael Rob here with another dispatch from the war against Islamofascism!
Islamofascism is a oxymoron. Fascism is a extreme variant of nationalism. And nationalism is only possible with a country or a nation, not with a religion. Thus, there can be no “islamofascism”:
After my last letter, I got in a whole heap of trouble ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¨ it seems that a bunch of liberals didnt like me saying mean things about the terrorists, and sent the U.S. Marines a whole bunch of which eventually got to my C.O. He really loved my article but ordered me to stay away from liberals for a month or so! And that was a month ago, and now I am back with an all new letter.
How about another month?`We didn?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t really miss you.
So, did you hear the news from Iraq? This is the month they call Ramadan, the time of year when Terrorists are not allowed to eat anything for a whole month.
You are just not allowed to eat between dawn and dusk. Afterwards you?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•re allowed to eat.
Naturally they get angry, and start shooting off their guns, and we marines start shooting back. Soon we are going to shoot the last terrorist and our work here will be done, but until then we?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥ve got to stay the course, and there?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s no time of year when I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥d like to be home more than the crazy month of Ramadan.
Perhaps they get more active because it?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s a holy month to them. Oh, and as it looks right now, theres too many of them to shoot them all. YOu?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•re loosing, Mike. Slow but steady you?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•re experienceng Vietnam Part II.
We caught this islamofascist after one of our informers reported him criticizing our President. We made him sit on top of the KFC and told him that if he didnt keep eating Zingers we would shoot his sister. In the night he fell asleep and hit the ground and broke his leg.
Now that will make all the Iraquis really like you. I think you?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•ve just created another 100 terrorists.
The U.S. Marines never quit!
Which sometimes isn?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t a really good thing. The Wehrmacht didn?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t really quit, too…
It would have been great if we?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥d found those WMDs, and Lord knows we looked hard. Saddam probably gave the WMDs to his allies the Iranians before his evil empire fell. But just because we haven?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t found the WMDs, doesn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t mean they were never here?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?Ǭ? and we found something worse than WMDs, we found evil.
Ehm, Saddam and the Iranians hated each other. They has a war going on for about 10 years. And you found no WMD?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s because Baby Bush is a f***ing liar. And that was his reason to start this war.
Thats all for me this week. I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥m praying to God to help me through Ramadam. My buds think we can stop these terrorists fighting by force-feeding them KFC. When they have a full stomach they might come to know the Love of Jesus.
Nope, they will just hate you more. And not everyone saying bad things about Bush is a terrorist. Right now that would make over60% of the world?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s population terrorists.
PS: HEY SAM: The UNIT seems to be missing. So, to help them find the way, I?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•ve pinpointed the location of my home on your Map of Patriots. That should help.
The German Guy
Save the Soldiers! Get them out of Iraq!
IMPEACH BUSH!
McD’s hamburgers are aweful, they leave the hamburger in a heating tray for hours after they cook it, and when they cook it they use tons of salt. Wendy’s makes much better hamburgers. I used to eat a triple every other week because of my massive protein needs going to and from my classes for the summer semester, I had to travel no less than ten miles on my bike every day.
HOO-AH!!
Thank you, Soldier, for keeping America free from the tyranny of those who hate freedom! And I wish you had punched that girl reporter in the face. She deserved it! That’s one of the worst things about the gay liberal media - they send girls out to places like Iraq to ask questions like “Don’t you soldiers really want the terrorists to win like all good Americans do?” knowing full well that if a man asked that question they’d get punched in the face.
Keep fighting for America!
God is Love!
you ignorant red neck muslims only fast “stop eating” form dawn to sun down every day not for the whole month.
2 Proud german
Thus, there can be no ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?islamofascism?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?:
If only Bush was idiot, there wasn’t problem. But his speechwriters are morons too.
Ramadan is a holy time for a vital minority you oppressor!
McDonald’s is just evil! yeah. sick! I never buy American if I can help it.
Except for Marilyn Manson records.
Hey, listen, Morrissey says that Meat is Murder. i agree.
Free Nelson Mandela!
Yours,
Lance (a liberal)
I’m pretty sure no one wants to hear your crazy opinions Lance (a liberal). Gosh. Are all lefties as stupid as you?
another great article!
thanx, keep the work up
Further to proud German’s comment it would be more correct to say ‘Americo-fascist’.
By the way I find it very hard to BELIEVE someone can actually be in Iraq and totatlly uninformed about the situation there. You would NEVER hear a British soldier taking like this.
That is because unlike PFC Michael Rob, the British soldiers are not involved in the realities of day to day fighting. Nobody is as tough on terror as the U.S. Marines, and I for one am glad that they are allowed to fight hard to protect America. They fight the enemy over there so that we dont have to fight them over here. What could be more simple to understand than that?
That is because unlike PFC Michael Rob, the British soldiers are not involved in the realities of day to day fighting. Nobody is as tough on terror as the U.S. Marines, and I for one am glad that they are allowed to fight hard to protect America. They fight the enemy over there so that we dont have to fight them over here. What could be more simple to understand than that?
And that?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s one reason why there?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s still a war in Iraq. Just leave the urban fighting to the brits, they have more experience in it. Causse everything you do is keeping the head down, firing lots of ammo and calling for support. Not a bad tactic on open field but totally useless in urban terrain.
Oh, and shut up with being proud to fight. Go get into a gunfight yourself, afterwards you van bragg around. War isn?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t funny, nor it?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s heroic or something like that. It?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s a bloody, dirty and deadly affair.
Oh, and there is no “battle between good and evil”. War isn?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t white vs. black, it?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s grey vs. grey.
PS: Hey, Sam: why don?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•you answer my question about the Unit. Are they afraid of me?
The German Guy
Go get your soldiers proper training, then we can talk.
IMPEACH BUSH!
That is because unlike PFC Michael Rob, the British soldiers are not involved in the realities of day to day fighting.
And all those British troops in Afghanistan are just evaporating, are they?
You would NEVER hear a British soldier taking like this.
As much as I want to agree with you, you should remind yourself that there are racist assholes in the UK as well as America.
Umm, Iraq was not a hotbed of terrorism until George Bush made it one. Iraq was not a threat to the US. Oops, it is now!
C’mon, soldier, use your head. Yes, Saddam Hussein was a bad man, but his incarceration was not worth the death of thousands of your comrades. Liberals want to make sure you don’t die for no reason. You hate us for that?
I agree that we need to take out our enemies before they take out us. The so-called war in Iraq is not doing that whatsoever. Your commander in chief is waging a poorly planned war, based on false pretenses with no clear military objectives. What say we get the fuck out of Iraq so we can fight the REAL war on terror instead of putting our asses in the middle of a civil war.
Liberals on your side, too, bitch.
These golden arches are a sign of progress and civilisation. Every time I bite into a quarter-pounder with Cheese, I know it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s God?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s way of thanking the hard-working soldiers of the USA.
Then I don?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t want to know what he will do to you when he?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s not pleased. =)
The German Guy
IMPEACH BUSH!
That KFC picture was published on the internet as early as June 2004. You’d better perform a background check on ‘Michael Rob’, he just might be a ‘liberal’..
Hi, Stolze Deutsch, Gr??Ǭ?ss aus Frankreich!
This is pointless. I used to waste my time here getting angry with these morons, but you know as well as I, there is never an answer. If you make a good point, they either ignore it or say ‘you go to hell’. Don’t waste your time, they have the intellectual ability of an amoeba. There are better things to do than argue with imbeciles. You and I know that what you say is right, let’s be happy with that. The US is in big trouble, financially and spiritually. Maybe they will do the world a favour and carry on with their great diet of McDonalds and fries and die young from heart disease, it will be no great loss.
I apologise for my bad German…amities…Christophe
Hey Billy Bob Nerd, how can you wish to punch a girl in the face?, you might be all the day saying that Jesus is love, God is love but that comment depicts pretty well the kind of “brave man” you are, nobody tought you that you have to respect women? I can bet that you have already hit your mother, wife, etc. If you are so brave why don’t you punch me? huh? I can put my face to see how man you are.
I’m pretty sure that any men here that disagree totally with Shelley’s comments wouldn’t ever dare to think in hit her. But you are not included in the list because you are less than a man, you are just a coward.
As Jesus said “are not the things that get in your mouth that gets you dirty, but the ones that get out”… and you bullit coward should be pure garbage.
And Christophe I agree with you, is funnier to talk with a parrot than with these chauvinist fanatics.
keep up the good work, Michael. btw, when will you come to liberate us from the islamofacist threat that we have on the triple border between Brazil, Paraguay and Argentina? It looks like you are so good at this that i can’t think no one better for the task. (click on my website to know more about the terrorists in my country)
Ankur, most of the Muslims you “respect” would kill you solely for being an atheist. Oh and by the way, Muslims in Western nations enjoy the shelter of left-wingers, tolerant people but yet in their own countries just look what they do to people whose political opinions are parallel to you (ie: tolerant, non-religious, liberal etc)
So they want to kill you and you respect them?
I wonder who is stupid.
One day, a 20 years old guy decided to spend some time in a nearby pub. As he sit down, he noticed that Bush and Blair where in the same pub discussing about something.
So he asked to the barman if they really were who he thought they were. The barman said “Yes”, so he asked about what the two leaders were discussing.
Bush heard the guy, so he told him “Do you want to know what we’re doing?”.. “Yeah!”.. “It is a plan for our incoming war in Iran!”.. “Cool! How does it work?”.. “We were thinking of some kind of air strike, and some mass-bombing.. So we’re going to kill 40 million Iranians and a huge-breasted blonde..”
The guy had to think for a moment.. “A huge-brested blonde? Who is her? Why do you want to kill her?”
So Bush pat Blair in the back and said “Do you see? Like I said! No one f**king cares about the Iranians!”
–
pardon my english. and, it was not meant to offend anyone (apart from Shelley). it was just a cry-after-laugh joke intended to make the point..