Sunday Prayer
?
Heavenly Father,
As good Christians all around the world and beyond
Gather to sing Your praises and honor the glory of Your Son, Jesus Christ
We humbly beseech You to?bring forth an earthquake
That will send Massachusetts tumbling into the sea
And drown US District Court Judge Mark L. Wolf
For he knows that allowing the Lexington, MA school district
To teach children how to have anal sex
Is sinful and against your wishes
And he’s probably a Jew and doesn’t believe in Your Son?anyway
Only You have the power to end the secularism
That allows homosexuals to infest what used to be a pretty good state 200 years ago
But somehow went to seed
In the name of the health of the rest of the United States
We humbly ask this
Amen
BBN
God is Love!
10 Comments so far
Leave a reply
lol, funny.
for those who wish to bullshit this insteada laughign at it, here are some points of topic.
Jesus was a jew.
“As good Christians all around the world and beyond” That phrase is against the bible, cuz the earth is the only planet with life on it supposebly, and going beyond earth is heaven.
“To teach children how to have anal sex”
someone say somethign stupid about him actualy demostrating it.
“That allows homosexuals to infest what used to be a pretty good state 200 years ago”
soemthign here about the US always being gay.
“In the name of the health of the rest of the United States”
and something here about the USA never being in good health.
i think writing letters to santa is equally effective as praying. in the first case you make a critter believe something and let it sit on the lap of someone pretending to be him. and in the latter it’s actually the same. except the lap-sitting. but wouldn’t it be more commercially interesting to have fake-jesusses sitting around in shopping malls? you have all those mindless believers; so if i had a shopping mall, i would create a “heavenly” inspired scene with a payed jesus on a throne and long lines of children waiting anxiously to sit on his lap and pull is beard:-)
santa is s?? out, jesus is in!
Dear Lucifer,
As good Satanists all around the world and beyond
Gather to sing Your praises and honor the glory of Your Son, the Antichrist
We humbly beseech You to bring forth an earthquake
That will send the South tumbling into the sea
And drown US President George W. Bush
For he knows that opposing abortion
To let future morons live
Is stupid and against Satan’s wishes
And he?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s probably a Christian and doesn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t believe in Your Son anyway
Only You have the power to end the fundamentalism
That allows Christians to infest what used to be a pretty good state 800 years ago
But somehow went to seed
In the name of the health of the rest of the United States
We humbly ask this
Amen
Only You have the power to end the fundamentalism
You think Lucifer doesn’t like Christian fundamentalists? He loves all religious fundamentalists. They all believe they’re doing God’s will, but in doing so, they commit terrible acts of great evil. Invasion of here, war on this, war on that. Human suffering on a global scale, thanks to religious fundamentalists.
Imagine the irony - God’s world led astray not by the irreligious liberals and atheists, but by the very people who believe they are closest to God: religious fundamentalists of all types. Whenever a religious fundamentalist calls for a war on something or a ban on something else, Lucifer chuckles with delight.
Lucifer doesn’t exist. God doesn’t exist. Jesus doesn’t exist. Easter Bunny doesn’t exist.
Billy Bob, don’t you live in Boston? You’re wishing death upon yourself and all your neighbors? Are you trying to become a martyr? You know why looks highly upon martyrdom, muslims!
“We humbly beseech You to bring forth an earthquake
That will send Massachusetts tumbling into the sea”
And they say Europeans hate the USA, what could be more hatefull than this?? And he calls himself a patriot..pfff.
/True Christian
In Massachusetts they eat a lot of seafood which is an abomination! God said so! Seafood is listed as part of the meat group in the four food groups! This abominable propaganda is taught in our public schools to impressionable children! This vile habit of eating these unclean sea creatures must end or surely God will rain his wrath upon our nation! Ban seafood restaurants and shrimp boats like God intended! http://www.godhatesshrimp.com
Bobby Bill,quit picking on the South! The Bush Crime Family originally came from Connecticut! They’re Damn Yankee carpet-baggers!
@Bobby Bill: that’s what I call a very creative comment.
@Gabriel: That’s what I call a very clever comment.
@Elvish in Chains: That’s what I consider a joke.
Heck, we don’t need God to send earthquakes. At the current state of International Politics we are going to nuke ourselves within the next century, anyways.
God or Lucifer or whoever bless all those equipped with brains!
Sen