STR † THE FREEDOM BLOG

Mrs. Goodman recently met with black Republican Alan Keyes who suggested that she use STR as a pilot help white Republicans understand black people better. It turns out that he was serious. Our corporate donors also took him seriously so for the seven days we have to present Baratunde’s Guide To Celebrating Black History Month For Those Who Aren’t Black. Billy Bob Neck’s Briefly Patriotic will return at the conclusion and he will still be Caucasian.

Black History Month Special Part 1

Friends,

The Dixie-Chicks: They insulted our President. They insulted America. They are Osama’s biggest supporters in Country Music.

Not so long ago those liberal harlots, the “Dixie Chicks” insulted our president and said all kinds of unhinged things. They said he was wrong to try to bring peace to the Iraqis. They said he was wrong to care about all the WMDs that islamofascists hid from us before the war against Saddam. They said we were wrong to bring Saddam to justice.

But the real reason why every mainstream stations quit playing the Chicks in 2003 was because ultra-leftist singer Natalie Maines told a London audience: “Just so you know, we’re ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas”. Almost overnight, Maines became a lightning rod in the debate over the Iraq war, with sensible Americans outraged at her unprovoked criticizm of our President, especially while on foreign soil. Everybody now knows that the Dixie Chicks are Texas’ only openly pro-terrorist country group.

The Right Brothers: Somebody explain to me why their hit debut album was not even nominated for a Grammy award? The Grammy awards are notable only for their absurd pro-liberal bias by ignoring great bands like this.

And that’s why we at Shelley The Republican were not the least bit surprised to see that they won this year’s annual award for liberal troublemakers, “The Grammy”. Previous winners have included Satanist rapper M&Ms, and former convicted felon, “Dr Dray”. I often wonder why the Grammies are never awarded to the inspirational musicians that Billy Bob Neck plays on his show, or great bands like the Right Brothers who have the courage to stand for difficult issues like the war in Iraq.

Why do rap-singers like M&Ms (pictured above) insist on corrupting youth with their obscene language full of sexually explicit cuss words? It’s a well-known fact that rap-music is the terrorist’s favourite genre: The beat works them up into an anti-american frenzy. All rap-songs are designed to encourage violence, crime and homosexuality.

Why do the Grammy award get given to musicians who dis-respect our president at a time of war? Dont the Grammy award committe understand that they are encouraging terrorists?

It’s time to be proud of all the Joy and Freedom America has brought to the Middle-East. It’s time for the Dixie Chicks to apologize to President George W. Bush.

We Americans are a proud and peaceful people. We value God, Our Families and most of all, we value the Truth. Those are the three foundations upon which the modern Republican party has been built and thats why I am proud to be a member. I like to think that we are a tolerant and forgiving people, one disposed to fairness and gentility above all other virtues, but as with anything in life, there has to be limits.

Yours In Christ,

Tristan J. Shuddery

?

It?s never a good thing to hang on to one idea and stick with it without taking a look back and making sure you?re right.? Sometimes you look back and find out that you was wrong.? It ain?t easy.? Like when parents found out that one of the little league coaches was gay ? sure he did a good job coaching and the kids cried when he was fired, but it needed to be done.? So, y?all oughta stand up and cheer the Arkansas state legislature for voting down Thomas Paine Day.? It don?t matter if he was the first person to use the phrase ?the United States of America? or that he wrote some of the defining texts of the Revolution.?? What matters is that he called the Bible ?a history of wickedness? that he ?sincerely detests? and like the gay baseball coach, he oughta be run out of town on a rail.

No Paine, God?s Gain

Friends,

I don’t like to brag about the good work I do in Tuttle city, but in addition to keeping our great computer systems working, I like to serve as an assistant pastor at a fellowship not far from where I live. It’s true that you meet all sorts in the Lord’s work, but nothing I’ve seen in all my life matches the disturbing story I’m about to tell you today.

It was last year, when a young couple approached me in Church asking for advice. They presented their daughter, a bedraggled looking girl, covered with cuts and bruises. The girl was walking with a limp, and may have even had the remnants of a black-eye. Just what calamity had befallen this poor child?

Is your child posessed by a demon? Childhood demon posession can take many forms such as shouting, excessive crying, and blasphemy. Demonbusters.com suggests a wide range of prayer-strategies that will help starve that demon out of your child.

I stared the man right in his eyes and asked ?Would you mind telling me, what you have done to this girl??. The man looked at me in silence, as if bottling up a terrible secret, and eventually spoke:

?My daughter’s been driven mad by a demon?, he cried, ?And I didn’t know who else to turn to. Please, please help me cure her - you’re my only chance.?

Suddenly it all made sense. These two Christian parents had been battling one of the most horrible afflictions that can afflict a child, demonic possession. I inspected the girl, true enough, she had all of the classic signs of demon posession. For example her whole body was covered brusies, blisters and warts. She had lost control over her bladder and bowels, and she was barely able to walk. Her hair had fallen out in patches, and her entire body was convulsing as if in the middle of a personal fight between her God-given spirit and one of satan’s demons.

I knew at once that Jesus had guided this family to me, so I set about doing what I could.

A slide from my presentation on demon avoidance at the Kids on Fire camp 2006. Kids who attend this year’s camp will be given a full instructive counter-demonology lesson by me.

I advised the family to return to me the next day, that would give me time to pray on the matter, plus conult demonbusters.com, the world’s finest exorcism resource. I instructed the family that on no accounts must this child be taken anwhere near a hospital. I explained that many local doctors are abortionists and atheists.

They would mis-diagnose her demon posession as a mental disorder. They will do nothing to cure her, and certainly will do nothing at all to rid her of her demons.

When the couple returned the next day the child was not with them. I inquired what had become of the little girl. This time the mother explained that she had to be tied down for her own good ? the aggressive demons were forcing her to self-harm. Restraining the child was a sensible measure. A tough measure that only loving Christian parents could have performed. Sometimes tough-love is the route to salvation.

Should this child be in a hospital? No - a hospital can only heal the body. For a cure to be effective the demons must first be driven from the spirit!

If the child had been observed behaving erratically outside of her home then there is a good chance that secular government authorities would attempt to interfere with the family, and deny the child the exorcism she so greatly needed. Demonic posession must be treated with the utmost senstitivity, that is why a posessed child must allways be hidden from view.

I handed over a set of print-outs from demonbusters, plus I had copied out a selection of instructive Bible passages which Jesus told me would be useful when performing a home-exorcism. This I was sure would see the child right, and we would once again welcome her smiling face to Sunday school.

Unfortunately this was not the case. A few months later, I read in the newspaper that the child had died. The ignorant journalist had claimed that the cause of death was dehydration and compound fractures. The parents had both been arrested as child-murderers.

If only the Church had been able to pray for that child sooner we might have been able to cure her of her possession and she would be living today. The real criminals here are a secular government that has no respect for the family and knows nothing at all of the dangers of demon possession.

Does your child look like this? Has your child been playing with the occult? Did you check your baby’s room for Ouija boards? Demonic posession can strike suddely: A wild appearance, an insane stare and erratic movements usually indicate posession.

Had I know the danger that child faced I would have insisted on performing her exorcism myself. If this shocking tale should make one point it is that demonology is a real danger, perhaps the greatest threat that America faces today along with communism, islamofascism, secularism and rampant homosexuality.

Yours in Christ,

Tristan J. Shuddery

Today is Darwin?s birthday and liberals will probably celebrate by having gay sex to prove how ?evolved? they are.? Here at Shelley The Republican dot com we think it?s high time that this Darwin fella finally stayed dead the way he oughta and keep his theories in Hell where they belong. I think two points should put the final nails in his coffin. Point 1 ? It?s an undisputed fact that the older you are the more you can be trusted. Darwin would?ve been 198 years old. God?well, who do you think created Darwin?? And point two ? Darwin?s dead, God?s not. Case closed. End of story.Y?all shut up now.

Darwin R.I.P.

Just another good reason to worship our Lord and Saviour. Recent studies have shown that going to church is better than taking pills and visiting psychiatrists.

Hallelujah!

Overall findings support the hypothesis that religious activity may play a protective role in maintaining pulmonary health among the elderly.

A recent meta-analysis demonstrates a great and robust association between weekly religious attendance and longer life.

Religiously active persons are less likely to smoke cigarettes, and if they do smoke, smoke fewer cigarettes. Given the association between smoking and disease, and the widespread prevalence of both smoking and religious activity, this finding has implications for public health.

So think about it. Can you really afford not to go?

Barbara

Just another example of how disgusting Liberals tick. No wonder most of them are addicted to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and sex and die within the ages of 40 - 58.

Friends,

There are some uninformed people who claim that we Republicans do not care about the world outside of America. Those of us who have shared the faith and compassion of George W. Bush know that this is not true. Nobody has done more than the Republicans to spread peace and democracy, and that is why we at ShelleyTheRepublican are proud to announce our new PAC, “American Patriots for Justice and Liberation in Iran”.

The War on Terror in Iraq has been one of our President’s most decisive and important victories. As a result of a healthy and aggressive campaign against the Iraqui terrorists who perpetrated the acts of 9/11, our sacred land has been free of terror for over five years. If bringing democracy to Iraq can do that much good, imagine how much better the world would be if we brought peace to Iran?

Jesus, the founder of America cares for all of the people of the world, and he wants everybody to share in his message of Love. If we do not spread the gospel to Iran they will almost certainly go to Hell, tortured for eternity. The small sacrfices we may have to make to spread God’s love will be more than worth it in terms of souls saved.

This new Political Action Committee offers an exciting foreign-policy platform that is guaranteed to solve the middle-east problem once and for all. Plus, the Iranian’s no longer have to feel jealous of their recently liberated neighbours the Iraqis. We have calculated that America has the resources to liberate the whole of the Arab world if needed. Here are some of our policies:

• We believe in traditional American values like honesty, respect and most of all Freedom. We believe that these values are too good to keep for ourselves. They should be exported to the rest of the world, including Iran.
• Iran, a war-obsessed nation is based on Islam. Their evil Islamic faith has compelled them to build atomic weapons which may be directed at America. America, the most peaceful nation on earth is based on Christianty. It is our duty to export the message of Jesus to Iran. If Iran was converted to Christianity there would be no more war.
• We won the war in Iraq fair and square, but how come we still have to keep fighting the Islamofascist terrorists? It’s because Iran has kept funding them. Only when Iran has been completely crushed will we be able to put a final end to terrorism.

Iran’s troublemaker president Ahmadinejad is a close personal friend of communists Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro and Nancy Pelosi. But would he be such a trouble-maker if he converted to Christianity? Of course not.

Friends, we at ShelleyTheRepublican.com believe that America is already at a state of war with Iran. We believe that Jesus has commanded us to spread his word everywhere in the world, including the dark-heart of Islamofascism. We Republicans are the only party who take our obligation to God seriously enough to carry this out.

Yours in Christ,

Tristan J. Shuddery

I hope you?ll take some time to stop over to one of the most important websites I?ve seen for a while.? They say that the Devil will come with a pleasant smile and a pleasing demeanor and if that?s the case then Barak Obama might very well be Satan incarnate.? That?s all the more reason to go on over to www.obamanation.com and get the real story on this cunning practitioner of black genocide.? According to www.blackgenocide.com an average 1452 black pre-borns get murdered every day.? And guess who one of the biggest supporters of abortion is?? That?s right ? Barak Obama.? And if he don?t care about his own people, then how we gonna trust him to take care about us?

Obama-Nation

[Editor's Note - One of our interns at?STR.com noticed an influx of users coming from?a site run by Nintendo, the makers of the?Playstation.? Someone had run across an article written last May entitled Video Games - Criminal?Training for Liberal Teens.? As non-believers, they left mocking comments, disparaging the article, this website and God.

While we are used to such behavior from the sinful and confused, the attack took us by surprise.? At the editors meeting today we talked and prayed about how best to approach this situation.? Closing down the site until the storm blew over was not, of course, an option.? Plus, as Pastor Bucks pointed out, during spikes in readership emails requesting information on how to accept Jesus Christ increase by 27.3% with a conversion rate that hovers between 43% and 57%, meaning that we bring 13 people into the power and glory of Christ's love.? But in this case, Pastor Bucks reported his inbox remained eerily empty.? A quandry!

Just as we were about to give up on the topic, a voice popped up from the back of the room - "They don't understand you," it said.? We turned to see George, a new convert, standing there in all his tattooed glory.? George came to us a few weeks ago after a 38 hour "binge" on Asheron Warcroft landed him in the emergency room where he almost died.? While the holes left by his facial piercings heal along with his soul, his tattoos have tested our acceptance at times.? We politely asked him to explain.? What follows is a translation into English from the gamer-speak we are training him out of using.

"'The point that I am trying to convey to you, fellow worshippers of Christ, is that, like my former sinful self, these children do not speak or read the same language that normal, pious Christians speak, but rather a language devised by Satan to pervert truth and love.? It is called [we're still not sure] and my former compatriots use it exclusively to communicate with one another.? If the article were to be translated into [the language] then many, I’m sure, would understand and seek the knowledge of Christ that I have.”

Naturally, we felt hesistant letting so new and fragile a soul dip back into his Satanic past but after prayer and an assurance from George that his faith was strong, we sat with him as he translated the article into [the language].? We thought translating the 700 word article would take the better part of a day.? George finished in 5?minutes.

We do not understand any of what follows except that George assures us that it is a faithful translation.

If you would like STR to get in touch with you about turning your life over to Jesus, please email pastorbucks@shelleytherepublican.com

God Bless You]

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So, you don?t believe in Christianity because that would mean that all the other false religions out there are just that ? false, lying and deceitful.? ?Stop going on about how if towelheads only admitted that Muslim was a crock then the War on Terror would be over,? the liberals squeal in horror like homosexuals asked to use a hammer.? Well, what if I was to tell you that a direct descendent of Mohamed realized the Jesus really was the One True God and turned his back on Muslim?? That?s just what Sedar Dedeoglu did.? Sedar Dedeoglu tracks his heritage all the way back to Mohammed?s daughter, Fatima, the one who danced with the veils.? One day he woke up to a fact that even his relationship by blood couldn?t deny ? Muslim wasn?t no religion and Jesus is the Lord and Savior of all mankind.? If he can do it, so can you!

Sedar Dedeoglu

My pastor once told me something very profound.

Billy Bob, he told me, have you ever seen a dog trying to have sexual relations with a cat? I had to admit that I never did see that. That’s because a dog knows it’s a dog and don’t have no need to be anything BUT a dog. That’s how God planned it. And that’s how he planned men and women, too.

Does this dog look gay to you? Of course not!

Over the course of the next couple hours or so, he egged me on to try to poke holes in that statement, but, try as I might, I couldn’t. I left there convinced more strongly than ever that God doesn’t make people gay. It just don’t make no logical sense.

So it didn’t surprise me when Ted Haggard emerged from the Arizona desert, tanned, rested and straight as an arrow. Pastor Haggard sadly strayed from God’s path into a harrowing world of drugs and sodomy that left him broken and his family and congregants brokenhearted.

New Life Church prayed for Pastor Ted despite
his betrayal of their trust. They knew Satan was to blame.

Very few men understood, as Pastor Ted does, that homosexuality is a sign of a weak spirit. As he wrote to his congregation, “There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I’ve been warring against it all of my adult life.” A lot of ignorant people wanna read that as “Pastor Ted was born gay”. Like I said, they’re ignorant. Lemme go back to the beginning of this piece where my pastor, after hours of no-holds barred debate convinced me that God doesn’t make people gay.

If someone claims they’re born gay, they’re just wrong. A boy child ain’t born into the world thinking about sodomy. Somehow, often through poor parenting or contact with un-Godly children, Satan finds a tiny hole in a soul big enough to plant the seed of gayness. Like most diseases, homosexuality never fully leaves the body even though it stays hidden for years. Pastor Ted talks about the feeling of “freedom” he felt when he felt rid of the gayness. Those periods of freedom, we now know, lull the infected person into letting their guard down, allowing Satan’s gayness to awaken from its dormant state.

The effects of Satan can turn a straight, heterosexual male
into a raving drag queen in a matter of days

Pastor Ted successfully fought off Satan’s harbingers of homosexuality for almost 49 years.? He knew that ministering provided a closeness to Jesus and protection from Satan and gayness. And yet, evil, if only for a short time, won out.

Thanks to a three-week intensive reparative therapy the oversight board of Pastor Ted’s former church, New Life, pronounced him “completely heterosexual”, and added,. “That is something he discovered. It was the acting- out situations where things took place. It wasn’t a constant thing.” Pastor Ted will continue Christian therapy twice a week. His wife has never left his side. She knows that if Jesus can forgive wickedness then she can too.

Like wives of old, Mrs. Haggard knows that marriage
isn’t always a picnic

I hope this serves as an uplifting and educational story for our homosexual readers. Ted Haggard wasn’t born gay. He let his guard down and became prideful. When that happens you might as well just give Satan the keys to your house, because he’s coming in anyway. But more importantly, you, too, can kick Satan in the butt with proper therapy and diligence.

Think of it! If Ted Haggard is no longer gay, then there’s hope for you!

Oh my goodness, here it is February 6th and we ain?t done nothing on Black History Month yet.? I?m surprised the liberals that infest this site with their lies and hate speech haven?t brought that fact up.? Well, I?m not all that surprised.? Liberals like to go on about much they love black people but outside of annoying their parents by dating one or two of them, they couldn?t really care all that much.? They mostly like to prove they?re not racist by not saying ?nigger? unless they?re listening to rap music and thinking that Dave Chapelle guy is funny.? As the black (liberal) comic Baratunde Thurston says, ?February is the only month that white people invite over to dinner.? And by the end of February I don?t think I can even look at a piece of fried chicken for a year.?

Black History Month

Once again, Yurp takes up the front lines in the War Against God.? This time it?s Switzerland leading the charge as their courts decide that, well, maybe crazy people can kill themselves.?

When you think of Switzerland you think of nice things like chocolate and watches and tulips.? You may even think about how the Swiss couldn?t make up their mind who to fight for in WWII, but while this country calls itself ?neutral? they are 100% pro-death.? !00% pro-death?? Ain?t you laying it on a little thick, there, Billy Bob?? Well, no, I ain?t.? According the World Health Organization, Switzerland ranks in the top 15 of countries sorted by suicide rates.? (Most of those countries are former commie countries, so you can?t really blame the folks for killing themselves although they?ll go to Hell anyway.)? And Switzerland ranks fifth in countries with the highest GNP.? That?s one death-obsessed country!

This beautiful field of tulips only serves to disguise
the thousands of people killed by the Swiss government

But it don?t stop there.? The Swiss encourage doctors to kill patients who think their pain is worse than the pain Jesus felt on the cross and that gives them the right to tell a doctor break the Hippocratic Oath and kill them.? It don?t matter to the Swiss what God wants.? Between death and God, they choose death.

On Friday, the Swiss court went and decided that being flat out bananas causes ?psychic? pain that?s just as bad as physical pain.? I never claimed to be a genius, but I don?t get it.? Something that doesn?t hurt you gives you pain?? I guess that we finally reached that point in history where the Liberals succeeded in turning the language topsy-turvy!? Up is Down!? Death is Life!? Not-Pain is Pain!? I don?t know how they did it, but lemme tell, under those conditions, I sure wish I was poor!

So Sven Fiyord turns his back on God as a young man, takes a whole bunch of drugs, drinks peppermint schnapps like Coca Cola, lives a dangerous bi-sexual lifestyle and, at 53, winds up cuckoo-nuts.? Couldn?t have seen that coming, could ya, Sven?? Instead of re-tracing his steps to find out where he made the mistake (hint ? it?s that part about turning his back on God), he decides to die rather than turn his life over to Christ who will cure all afflictions.

A typical Swiss crazy person who’d rather take
the easy way out than tread God’s righteous pathway

But here?s the catch ? schizo Sven?s gotta ask the doctor to kill him!? HUH?? That?s right ? the guy who?s a couple of french fries short of a Happy Meal gets to figure out whether he?s sane enough to let a doctor kill him!? There?s only one word for that and that?s crazy.?

Folks, lemme put this plainly ? if God thinks it?s time for you to die then He?ll get the job done.? Ain?t no doubt about that.? God only gives you the burden that you can carry.? If you think you can?t then you need to pray harder.

?But if God loves me,? you?re gonna ask, ?then why would He allow me to suffer so badly?? Why won?t he kill me??? All I can say to that is that He?s God.? You shouldn?t ask Him those questions and He don?t have to explain himself.

Imagine a Switzerland where the nation believed in
God, was mentally stable and had no need to kill
its citizens.? That would be a country worth living in.

Until Switzerland wises up, accepts God and repeals these Culture of Death laws, I’m gonna ask that God-fearing Americans boycott Swiss watches, chocolates and tulips.

God is Love!
BBN