STR † THE FREEDOM BLOG

Y’all are gonna wanna sit down for this.? We publish a lot of hard-hitting, well-researched and factually accurate articles on www.shelleytherepublican.com and our motto is always “change don’t come through fear”.? I think Mrs. Goodman will forgive me if I say we all get a little sick of hearing her say, “yes, but is this too sensational?” during our editorials meetings.? That’s just one of the hazards of working with girls outside of the once-a-month “visitor” that never fails to throw a wrench into the works…or through the window so we can get some ventilation!? I’m just joking!? It’s gotten a lot better.

I ain’t got no clue what negro entertainers got to do
with a woman’s God-given reproductive cycle but you
can be it was a lie-beral that gave it that name!

Anyway, I ain’t sure it’s ever been said outright but STR has a policy of not eating Chinese food.? If we’re spend a late night working at Mrs. Goodman’s house and the “visitor” has her in the kinda state where she ain’t gonna be cooking for us we order out good American food like hamburgers or pizza.? We like our pets too much to wanna wind up eating them because some godless commie thinks it’s a funny joke.

That don’t mean that I ain’t sit in a Chinese restaurant.? Sometimes, even though I explain the thing about eating pets and all, some Jew lawyer insists that we go to a Chink place.? Just walking through the door and seeing that statue of a poor little kitty cat that’s probably halfway through the digestion process turns my stomach.? (A friend of mine in the Promise Keepers told me the meaning behind the raised paw thing, too.? If the right paw is up they just caught the dog or cat.? If the left paw is up, it’s been frozen.)? When that happens,?though,?I usually tell them I’ll meet them there and stop by a 7/11 for a couple of cheese dogs and then say I ain’t hungry.? One more tip - don’t drink the water.? It’s usually got extra fluoride in it.

Y’all tell me that this don’t beat the holy heck out of some
little piece of raw cat rolled up in tofo with seaweed?

Yesterday, I wound up having to go to one of them places by the Air Force base.? It took me a little extra time to find it because, as I found out, there were a ton of Chink places all around the base.? I thought that was kinda odd but I didn’t think nothing of it until about mid-way through the meal.? A buncha officers from the base showed up and sat down around a big round table.? When they entered, we all stood up and applauded.? They was laughing and ordering beers (and why anybody’d wanna drink Chinese beer is beyond me) and having a good old time.?

We started talking about our?bidness and I mentioned in passing about how many?Coolie joints?there were around there.??One of the lawyers who defends soldiers against trumped?prisoner “abuse” charges said he noticed that a lot of bases got Rail Hopper joints around them.?

Chinks are sometimes called “rail hoppers” because when they
were supposed to be working on the railroad, they would pretend
to hit each other’s feet and “hop” up and down screaming in “pain”.
This was the start of Chinese disrepect for America.

After awhile this little dog-muncher girl come up to the soldiers and said “you ready order eat, GI Joe?”.? I gotta say that they was talking a little too loud about a project they was working on.? It made me a little uncomfortable but I ain’t one to judge people.? But I didn’t like the way that tiny, slant-eyed girl kinda smiled at them when she left the table.? She walked over to the register and I kept my eye on her and I’m glad I did, too, cuz she leaned over and I heard her say, plain as day, “one ton” and then she winked.

ONE TON.

It all clicked!? This lil commie shuffle-puck wasn’t trying to fade into the background, she was trying to eavesdrop on our troops!!? She was gathering intelligence on our?weapons program?for her commie masters back in China!??The whole reason for that restaurant was to get our top boys drunk, throw ‘em in bed with a Chinese whore, drug ‘em with truth syrup and then suck out every?secret the United States Military owns a patent to!? And, it turns out, that ain’t the only?pet abortuary doing it!?? And it ain’t only in my town.? It’s in dang near every American town with a military base!

The yellow, commie bastard chinks are using their restaurants as fronts for espionage!!

“Ah so, I see you ha’ kung poa chicken and pran for surface
to air missle..not fo’ rong, doe”

Y’all go ahead and mock, but before you do, look at the facts.? I took six of my favorite military bases and did a search to find out how many Maoist restaurants were close to it and which was the closest.? Then I checked to see where the closest McDonald’s was.? In every single case, the Chinks beat out McDonald’s by building one of their spy fronts closer to base than a safe, all-American restaurant like McDonalds.

This chart clearly shows the danger America faces from pet abortuary
restaurants like Wok-In.? In every single case a soldier has to drive farther
to eat decent, God-blessed American food that will not lose the
War on Terror.

I’m pretty sure that ain’t the end of it.? I heard rumors that they got these jaundy boy coyotes that smuggle bug eaters from the mainland specifically to staff these treacherous restaurants of death and deception.? They keep up a steady flow of ‘em and make blend in by changing their name to Brittany or?Jeff and teaching them how to say “America nummer one ok GI Joe” and “Gah bress USA Jor Boosh” all the while they’re listening in on your conversations and keeping detailed notes.? Don’t believe me?? Why else are they always trying to fill your water glass??? So they can stay close to the table and not miss one single syllable of conversation.? Why are they so good at math?? So they can do the complex calculations in their head when they hear some of our top military contractors talking about cutting edge missile technology.

It’s about time that we told them we told them squints sayonara.? Here’s an idea get ‘em hitched to a Mexican then deport ‘em both!? It’s a two-fer!

God is Love!
BBN