STR † THE FREEDOM BLOG

My dear friends,

Hasn’t it been a lovely hot summer?

OH MY GOD IT’S GLOBAL WARMING! THE ECONOMY IS TO BLAME! EVERYTHING THAT MAKES THIS COUNTRY GREAT IS AT FAULT. WE HAVE TO SHUT DOWN ALL INDUSTRY! WE HAVE TO STOP PEOPLE ENJOYING THEIR NORMAL LIFESTYLES! WE HAVE TO BAN CARS! WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE STONE-AGE. THINGS WERE BETTER THEN!!!!

That’s a nice new car you’ve got. Where did you get it?

YOU FASCIST! DID YOU KNOW THAT CARS LIKE THAT KILL CYCLISTS! WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO THE ROAD? THE FACT THAT YOU PAY TAXES AND YOU’VE WORKED HARD ALL YOUR LIFE? I DON’T THINK SO. THE ROAD BELONGS TO GAY MEN WITH BEARDS WHO GET THEIR KICKS BY RAMMING BICYCLE SEATS UP THEIR BACKSIDES! YOU PIG!

Did you enjoy the sermon this morning?

THERE’S NO GOD! MY LORD AND MASTER SATAN… er… I MEAN, RICHARD DAWKINS SAYS SO. CHRISTIANITY IS EVIL. JESUS TAUGHT HATE!

The good book. A bad book, according to liberals! Did you enjoy watching the game last night?

THAT FLAG WAVING CEREMONY AND SINGING BEFORE A MATCH IS JUST DISGUSTING! IT’S FASCIST! I HATE AMERICA. I HATE THE AMERICAN FLAG! TV IS TERRIBLE! IT SHOULD BE BANNED!

?Liberals hate to see the flag being raised. For them, this victory was a defeat. Isn’t it great that Saddam is no longer killing thousands of Iraqis every day?

OH MY GOD! WE HAVE TO SURRENDER! IT’S THE ONLY WAY. DID YOU KNOW THAT PEOPLE GET hurt IN WARS! JUST LET THE TERRORISTS TAKE OVER! IT WILL BE EASIER! THE ONLY REASON THEY ARE ANGRY WITH THE USA IS THAT WE DIDN’T INVITE THEM OVER TO RULE US MORE POLITELY. YOU’LL LIKE LIVING UNDER THE MULAHS! THEIR CULTURE IS VERY SOPHISTICATED!

Mmmmmm. That burger sure does look good. Are you enjoying it?

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY RAINFORESTS HAD TO BE CHOPPED DOWN TO MAKE THAT BURGER? DO YOU KNOW THAT McDONALDS HELPED IN SLAVERY? DO YOU KNOW THAT MEAT IS MURDER? DO YOU REALISE THAT IF YOU EAT 50 OF THOSE A DAY YOU’LL BECOME MORBIDLY OBESE AND UNABLE TO EVEN RIDE A BIKE?

Aren’t we lucky to be Americans?

LUCKY! LUCKY?????! WE SHOULD BE ASHAMED! ASHAMED OF THIS GREAT COUNTRY THAT GOD GAVE US. I HATE AMERICA. I SPIT ON THE FLAG. I HATE OUR TROOPS. I WISH THEY WERE ALL DEAD. I HATE OUR PRESIDENT. THE ONLY THING I LIKE IS FRANCE. WHY CAN’T WE ADOPT THEIR SOPHISTICATED HOMOSEXUAL CULTURE AND LEARN TO LOVE INSTALLING HOLES IN THE GROUND IN OUR REST ROOMS. SO MUCH MORE NATURAL!

—

I’m sure you’ve all had liberal arguments like these screamed at you at high volume more times than you care to remember. It’s like they’re permanently PMS! Sometimes I even wonder if there is a hormonal imbalance that creates the liberal mindset. Irrational. Impulsive. Feminine. Completely deranged. How different to the measured and reasoned argument of our own Republicans and leading church leaders.

Now of course, Democrat party, the party of PMS, is eager to elect the high queen of murderous feminine imbalance, Hillary Clinton. If she gets in, it will be like “that time of the month” every single day for years and years and years. Until of course, she becomes so enraged with “MEN!” and “EVERYBODY JUST P***ING ME OFF!” that she hits the destruct button and destroys the world.

Hillary Clinton: Do you want someone always on the blob doing the world’s most important job?
Please, help stave off that day by voting Republican. The party of cool, calm intergrity.May God Bless You All,
Sam Johnston