Windows Vista : Reliability meets Design
Dear Friends,
If you are looking for a stable, secure and good looking operating system, there is no alternative to Windows Vista. Only Windows Vista includes the latest state-of-the-art security features like Windows Defender, the best optimization tools like the Defragmenter, the most advanced entertainment applications like the Windows Media Player and the leading word processing applications like Notepad.
(click on the thumbnail above)
This is my computer screen, friends. Only with Windows Vista I can handle my high workload and still manage to be productive and creative! God bless Windows Vista (wait a sec, He already did!).
Our blog (the one you are reading right now) is hosted on windows vista. The hosting upgrade from Linux to Windows XP increased the uptime from 77% to 95% and the upgrade from Windows XP to Windows Vista has increased the uptime to a proud 99.5%, even though we are attacked by terrorist hackers every single day. No hacker has been able to bring our website down since the hosting is done by Vista. It?s virtually unhackable.
This is a Mac OS screenshot. Many experts agree that the Apple operating system is one of the most unstable there are. The reason some people actually still buy apple might be that it’s the Homosexual’s favorite computer.
As you know, I am a person, deeply committed to the beauty in this world. As your lifestyle correspondent on this website, I have brought many issues of the good taste to your attention. And that is another point I love Windows Vista for. It?s truly a never-ending source of eye candy! No other operating system even comes close to the beautiful designs of Windows Vista. Linux looks more or less as it has been designed by retarded children and Mac OS looks like a it has been designed in the early 70s.
You might say, ?Ok, looks aren?t everything so, what about the technical aspect??
Rest assured, friends, no other OS even comes close when it comes to the latest technology. Only Windows operates on top of the famous ?DOS ? Technology?. DOS has been developed by the NASA and it was used to control and operate the space shuttle in the early 1990s.
Linux. Boring, ugly, gray. And because it’s not based on the advanced “DOS-Technology” it’s unstable, too.
Dear Readers, there is no good reason to use anything else than Windows Vista. In case you are not using Vista yet, I urge you to switch to the only Godly OS there is!
I like to take this opportunity and thank Mr. Bill Gates for bringing us Windows and especially Windows Vista. Thanks so much, Mr. Gates, you made using a computer fun. God bless you.
Yours,
Shelley The Republican
43 Comments so far
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I just agree with Vista Team Member. I love your humor, you can mimic the worst clich?ɬ© of a over-moronic American redneck so well that it made me almost thought you were serious !
Hopefully I found the post where you said that Mozilla Firefox users were being redirected on a page with Bible quotation, and obviously I wasn’t redirected, so that allowed me to make up my mind about it. Still, this is one of the funniest website ever !
Great post. STR. You write so sublimely that it flies over most people’s heads.
hay!!
good project :)
senks :)
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macs are extremely unstable. You have to restart them every hour in order to use them.
Shelley
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Macs are far superior to Microshaft OS’s.. and they are heck of a lot more stable….
As a Avid mac fan may I offer some support for you mac issue. If Macs are shutting down every hour then you are suffering a ID10T error. This common cause of this is the input device between the chair and the keyboard.
hope that helps
PS… linux kicks ass as well ;-)
TheRidge is insane, he must be stopped
he is in fact linked with the russian linux mafioso!!!!
doom to the ridge!!!!!
AHHH!!!! there on to me!
*Advert* *Advert* *Advert* *Advert*
Me and my mate Osama, are looking for a place to hide.
any offers will be appreciated
TheRidge
*Advert end*
Osama here,
I don’t want anyone to think I am in cooperation with the one who calls himself ‘the ridge’.
I am in fact an avid Vista fan and have been supplied copies of this OS by the US government.
I love america
end
Osama! Dont install Vista!!
The US Goverment are very vocal about catching you, if you install it then you will be suseptiable to Trojans and spyware that will send confidential info about you to them and they will get you!!!! its a trap!
NOOO!
I am concerned about your comment
However I am reassured by the fact that I am confident in George’s Bush Regime.
My father and his father were great lovers of what is right, and eachother.
We are like brothers…if only George had been a woman, he would be my mother.
I am sorry Ridge…I cannot believe he would do this to me after all our dealings…blood is thicker than oil…er water.
Osama, can I get an autograph ?
If you can help me get this flingging flanging vista to work….
I’m trying to play warcraft…want to turn the ridge into a sheep but it’s been a while
You want to turn me into a sheep… again!..
i didn’t like what happend the last time you did that…. was cruel!
In fact, im gunna book a session with my therapist…
therapist doesn’t care, none of them do….it’s right there in their names……
they will rape you of you money young elvling….
and I’ll have you know that a lot of sheep would pay for that kind of a good time.
Only the Horde can win, you puny Alliance scum !
theridge and the murphinator are no match for the rebel horde
FOR THE ALLIANCE!
Surrender now Oxayotlthegreat and I may make you my slave rather then crush your under foot
Horde Scum, All your horde bases are belong to us. (at least till you make a raid and take it back)
My ass ! All my bases are belong to me; because my peons are warlord-likes !
ZEITGIEST!!!!!!! WOOHOOO
For Zhul’ji !
Ridge, in my mother tongue the word you said is blasphemy. I would appreciate an apology to my mother regarding that remard.
Osama
Which is thy mother tongue, Osama ?
You fucking sicken me. This is the biggest joke I have ever heard? VISTA? STABLE? Don’t make me laugh. I have to restart Vista every hour while I’m using it. I haven’t had Linux crash for nearly a year, and that was only a hardware problem.
Mac OS X!
All other shall fall!
Oh by the way, your site is still hosted on Linux:
[08:03:04] [ alex in ~/ ] $ telnet shelleytherepublican.com 80
Trying 74.53.228.162…
Connected to shelleytherepublican.com.
Escape character is ‘^]’.
help
501 Method Not Implemented
Method Not Implemented
help to /index.html not supported.
Invalid method in request help
Apache/1.3.37 Server at gator304.hostgator.com Port 80
Connection closed by foreign host.
Apache 1.3.37. A look at your host’s website (hostgator.com) tells me they don’t even HAVE windows hosting. You are a liar.
PLUS, It’s a really nice trick you’ve got there to make WordPress display .aspx on the end of URLs. You’re using WordPress, it says so at the bottom of the page. WordPress is written in PHP!
erikrat : Lol.
OpenBSD. All other already failed.
OpenBSD. Only two remote holes in the default install, in more than 10 years !
OpenBSD. You silly bastard.
OpenBSD. Sending script kiddies to /dev/null since 1995
OpenBSD. World class security for much less than the price of a cruise missile.
OpenBSD. Because it will always be free.
OpenBSD. Because their music pwnz !
good worck The Disney properties have long allowed same-sex couples to tie the knot on the … (It’s called camp, darlings.) But the most interesting fact here is just …
senks
Ok… You won.. I use linux and what? Is the best OS!! You suck MAN!
Notice: Bush will die…
Mac OS X FTW!!!
Mac OSX suck for n00bs piece of shit on the rocks.
OpenBSD.
i cannot believe i’m saying this but i gotta agree with shelley i love windows vista. shelley makes a good valid point about windows vista.
miles credit cards…
drove,Georges fellowships abominable …
I wish you true friends, neighbors, and acquaintances God’s grace and blessing! I and my wife, two children, and my old father have used Microsoft products for almost two decades now. Thank you. I found Windows easy to use and so far a great computer. Because we continue our long history of success and use superior American product we can ensure a bright future for all citizens!!
Thank you Shelley and may the god bless you!
Try this… so funny…
http://www.shelleytherepublican.com/phpinfo.php
The screenshots of mac and linux are very old while windows vista screenshot is recent…. Why did you not show a recent screenshot of mac and linux? Do you know compiz and beryl?
thank’s for STR, for they effort to bulid this site…
I belive you’ll get oscar from The Funniest Joke Ever category…
this is the stupitest page i ever seen.. please donate brain to the writer.
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On the vista screenshoot, there is pidgin icon in the quick launch right??? haha,,
I don’t really know how you can be so blind about the OS’s different than Windows, even when you don’t understand what are you saying Windows is the weakest inOS’s in the market.
About the beauty, you can customize the appeareance for linux in many ways than linux, because it is free (as in freedom) to modify, even without knowing a bit of programming.
hm. nevermind that screenshot from mac os is probably one of the first versions, and that a comparable screenshot from windows at the time would be even worse, or that you obviously intentionally set the linux color scheme to grayscale before you took that screenshot. seriously, you’re so full of hatred for everyone around you that you try to politicize which operating system you use?
oh, and really? notepad? a leading word processor? have you turned on a computer lately?
linux is more stable than microshit, and you can customize linux, is not gray