Metric Meltdown
Friends,
According to scientists, The French / Eurotrash “metric” system is in a state of crisis today, as scientists discovered that the weight of the “kilogram” is flip-flopping faster than John McCain at an episcopalian rally.
The Kilo - a unit with an identity crisis: This is one of the approximately 30 standard kilograms stored in a French castle. The polished metallic pellet a the center of this contraption is made of an alloy of precious metals, provided at government expense. Only in Europe would government subsidize such folly!
Since Europe converted to the metric system a few years back, this could have a grave impact on that continent’s faltering economy. Imagine a situation where customers wishing to buy some meat, or fill their car with gas literally have no idea how much their goods will cost, simply because nobody knows the exact definition of a weight.
Jesus, the humble carpenter no doubt used a ruler to measure his wood every day, however the Bible clearly states that he had no need of the metric system.
How much simpler life would be if we only adopted the standard units of weights and measures mentioned in the King James Bible? Biblical measures are authorized by God, and like God are not tied down to fickle matter. This is yet another example of how Science only really makes sense when it is rooted in the Bible.
Yours in Christ,
Tristan
7 Comments so far
Leave a reply
@Non-E Moose
lmfao
You mean people need to leave Shelley alone. Just because she’s a maroon doesn’t mean you get to make fun of her writings. They’re inspired. And they’re inspired because God made her that way.
And if God hadn’t wanted you to read them, he wouldn’t have made her that way.
Ia Ia! Cthulhu ftagn!
fyi for non-e moose
http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/spacepen.asp
holy crap if you guys are serious this is sad.. but if its all fiction this is the funniest s— i’ve read in a a while!! screw the writer’s strike. just have a guy read your blog on tv.. its freakin hilarious!
Perhaps I shouldn’t post, it’s most likely a waste of my time. Ah well, here goes.
“Since Europe converted to the metric system a few years back, this could have a grave impact on that continent?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s faltering economy. Imagine a situation where customers wishing to buy some meat, or fill their car with gas literally have no idea how much their goods will cost, simply because nobody knows the exact definition of a weight.”
ALL standards suffer from this. How is a foot defined? As 12 inches? How is an inch defined?
You reach a point where you realise that they are all more or less defined by other measurements. This is fine for most day to day applications, but not for detailed scientific work, where some absolute standard must be set to measure against. The block described is one such, and it is losing a tiny bit of mass. An insignificantly small amount of mass for anyone other than a scientist. It changes nothing about how much a kilo of rice will contain.
Today, all US imperial measurements have their standards defined via metric standards. Your foot is defined by being one exact proportion of a metre. Your gallon is defined as being one precise proportion of a litre. And so on. This loss of mass affects your pound weights as much as it affects kilograms.
“How much simpler life would be if we only adopted the standard units of weights and measures mentioned in the King James Bible? Biblical measures are authorized by God, and like God are not tied down to fickle matter. This is yet another example of how Science only really makes sense when it is rooted in the Bible.”
The measurements used in the bible are not the ones you use in the US today. You don’t use cubits, or spans for measuring distance for example. And where the ones you use have the same name of the words in the KJV, that’s simply where the translators have used English measurements of the day in place of the obsolete measurements from Roman Israel. Your argument is simply flawed.
“Either the Scientific community figures out a better way to define the kilogram, or we stay with the measurements we have currently, and ditch this piece of metal. While the weight may change, the numbers on the paper won?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t.”
Unfortunately your assumption is wrong. That the measures on paper are reliable, where the solid ones are not. I have pointed out why above.
“You see, all systems of measurement are relative to what is important to the user. You don?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t hear anyone bitching about using different languages, but suddenly we have to all use communist measures and weights because ?¢‚Ǩ?ìthats what they use in europe?¢‚Ǩ¬ù (where they eat snails?¢‚Ǩ¬¶). Whatever.”
The analogy is partially flawed, in that Metric system is already essentially worldwide. Imperial is only used in the day to day lives of people who have yet to make the transition from the illogical old system to the reasonable new one. The new one is simply objectively better.
It is by no means communistic, predating that philosophy by many many years. And what do snails have to do with anything other than appealing to a level of anti-europe sentiment? The level of argument one might expect from a 10yo child.
“When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300c.
The Russians used a pencil.”
This anecdote is simply a untrue. Never happened, and the number is amusingly quite a lot higher than I’ve seen it before.
http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/spacepen.asp
[...] already seen what a disaster having empirical standards can have on people’s lives. The fraudulent ‘metric’ system has been proven to be a complete lie, the deceit of using standards-based science to formulate [...]
Sorry Redem, you WERE wasting your time. Shelly is just having fun at the expense of the unwary websurfer - NONE of this is mean to be taken seriously!
It’s really very funny.