STR † THE FREEDOM BLOG

I hear a lot of trash-talking Pat Robertson these days; Some say he’s wrong to have endorsed Republican Presidential candidate Rudi Giuliani. I cannot see the sense behind Pat’s decision to give his backing to a Catholic baby-killer, but there’s always been a lot about Pat that folks find hard to understand.

I’m sure that talking to God so often changes your perspective, so perhaps God has a plan for Rudi and Pat is part of it? I think only a fool would dismiss Pat - time and time again he’s proved that he really does speak for Jesus: I remember not so long ago, my father and I were invited onto the 700 club; We were there to represent Missouri home-schoolers, and I was going to sing a song I’d written about Jesus. A few hours before we were set to go on the lady who organized all the guests came into the “green room” and told us that Pat wanted to meet all of the show’s guests in a prayer-circle. This was perhaps the most exciting moment of my life: Pat Robertson was like a second father to me.

So Dad and I were escorted by a pretty lady into Pat’s make-up room which he shared with Ben Kinchlow, and he had all of the kids who were going to be in the the choral-concert sit down around him so we were looking up at him. He stared at us for what seemed like an eternity, and then he spoke:

“Today the Lord showed me a special sign concerning the spirit of the age!”

“Yes Jesus!” we all shouted!

Then Pat said, “I went out to my garage this morning and a snake was curled up right next to the passenger side door of my car. So I got a baseball-bat and killed it. Then I go outside to throw its body into the woods and there’s another snake sitting on the path!” - I remember, we all sighed with fear, wondering what the world might have been like if that serpent had struck Pat.

He spoke reassuringly: “Well, folks, you need to know that I’ve lived in that house ten years and never seen a snake before! I knew the Lord was trying to tell me something!”

Pat laughed that laugh he laughs when you just know Jesus has said something real funny to him, we all just watched in wonder at this Holy man. Then Pat said, “Would you believe it but everywhere I turned there were more and more snakes! They were coming for me, and all I could do was lash out at them with my bat before they sank their deadly venomous fangs into my heart. My arms got tired smiting them!”

As we looked into Pats stern eyes we could just imagine the fear he must have faced, fighting all of those evil snakes.

“Finally God spoke to my heart and said, ‘Pat no matter how many serpents you smite I’ll send more so trust in me, Pat, not in your own strength!’ Then I fell down and wept before the Lord and when I looked up all the snakes were gone even the bodies of the hundreds I had killed!”

“You want to know what (long goofy chuckle) the serpents signify?” asked Pat.

I put my hand up, just desperate to respond to Pat’s question. Jesus had told me the answer:

“The homosexuals?” I shouted.

“That’s right young man - each of those snakes represents not just the homosexuals but the sins of mankind that God has sent me to smite. The snakes are the sins contaminating the Body of Christ! The Secular World’s not our only problem boys and girls it’s our own sin that’s grieving the Lord’s heart and delaying His return!”

We were all just amazed to hear Pat’s sobering ministry, but the best was saved for last:

“Jesus has been talking to me”, he said “and there are some of you in this room for whom he as a special word” - and he began pointing to some of the kids and adults in the room: “Clear a way, line up and let me whisper what Jesus has to say into your ear”. And that’s exactly what he did. For the next half an hour we all lined up and Pat whispered into each of our ears a some precious Jesus.

When it was my turn pat asked me if I was a Christ Warrior? I said yes - he then proceeded to prophesy to me how one day Jesus would come back to smite the homosexuals and sodomites. At the time I remember thinking that some of what Jesus told Pat would happen sounded far-fetched, but now that I look back at the Katrina floods and the terrible fires in San Diego, I’m pretty sure that everything that Pat said is coming true. Perhaps God was speaking through him.

When we had all received Jesus’s word Pat stood up from his makeup chair and gently pushed aside the two ladies who were fussing over him. All of a sudden the power of the holy spirit filled him and he began speaking in tongues. It was simply electrifying and soon the holy spirit had seized us all and we were all speaking God’s language out loud in that studio with only minutes to go before an important broadcast.

I know it’s fashionable amongst Godless types to mock Pat Robertson, but I think this story proves that Pat really is a wise and God fearing man who is prepared to do what he needs to do in order to prepare America for Christ’s second coming. Let’s pay pat a little more respect from now on?

Jimmy Goddard