STR Update
Our interns, many of whom only recently became Christians and, therefore, Republicans, frequently come to us with suggestions for our ministry.? Som ideas are pratical, such as using “web” applications such as Microsoft Word to create many of the “pages” on our site and something called “sneaker net” to move files to different computers.? Others we reject out of hand, such a Nintendo Xbox game based on Levitical teachings.
I will freely admit that, at first,?the board greeted the suggestion to “publish” our newsletter on something called the World Wide Web with skeptical derision.? “Madness,” we cried!? Computers were expensive not to?mention the cost of a hard drive!? It wasn’t until we understood that our message of Christ’s love and Republican values might reach to both coasts of America without the need of postage that we decided to give it a go.
Christ commands us to gather His sheep and bring them unto Him.? While the best shepard might not always be the loudest shepard, communication is the glue that binds the gilt-edged pages of deeds into?the book of faith enclosed between in the indestructible covers of God and His Son, Jesus Christ.? Without communication, our work is for naught.
It is for that reason that the board has authorized the use of a new server referred to as “Twitter“.? This server, I’m told, allows for rapid communication between Godly Christians and Republicans.? I’m told that we can now send out messages, alerts and reminders to our readers with the push of a button.
In order to use Twitter, I’m told that you must also have a server but that it is very easy to get one.? Once you have accomplished that you may “follow” STR as we follow Christ and beg for his mercy.? Our server name is “STROnline”.
We hope that this will provide valuable guidance to not only the Godly on this site, but the skeptics and mockers who, unless they repent, will find themselves roasting in a pit of eternal torment in Hell.
With Christ’s Love
Newton Wilcox
Board of Directors
Shelley The Republican
7 Comments so far
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All the canidates you Evangelicals have been able to field since Bush I are all a bunch of nice church going Anti-Christs
How did you people turn a Jewish Jesus into a white Aryan Nazi Jesus?
You’re no different from the Mormons.
I dont know what in the name of the devil or Hilary Clinton (same thing) you are talking about sir but as long as you continue to spread the word about Christ and Republican values to all the heathens and homos and hogsteaders I dont care if you do it by Pony Express. This web tv gizmo I got aint exactly high teck anyway. The only server I know is Trudy Skidmore who works down at the Skidmore Grill on Berman street and we used to call her a waitress. Oh well keep up the good work no matter how you do it.
Sedgewick P. Hunsaker
True Christian
Proud Republican
“Others we reject out of hand, such a Nintendo Xbox game based on Levitical teachings.”
Now really. The XBox isn?Ǭ¥t from Nintendo, it?Ǭ¥s from your favourite big business shark, Microsoft.
The German Guy
IMPEACH BUSH!
This is blasphemy! THIS IS MADNESS!
Madness?
THIS
IS
AMERICA!!
the price of a hard drive you do fucking realize you fucking stupid fucking redneck that a computers hard drive comes with the computer when you buy it or are you too fucking thick to know that!
idiot.
simple. as.
*sigh* must I even comment on how retarded this post sounds?
“?¢‚Ǩ?ìweb?¢‚Ǩ¬ù applications such as Microsoft Word”
Word is not a web application, Google Documents is.
“Nintendo Xbox”
Gaming 101: Microsoft makes the Xbox, Nintendo makes the Wii, and Sony makes the Play Station 3, PC is made by many; Dell, HP, Toshiba, Acer, eMachine, AlienWare, Asus, you get the point….. Your an idiot.