Republication : Citizenship for Jesus Christ : PLEASE SIGN THE PETITION
Dear Friends:
As we all know, our Lord and Savior will come down from Heaven to save mankind. Surely he will come to the USA first, since this is God’s chosen country. Therefore to give him legal status in America we need to grant him the US-Citizenship!
We can not let him walk around as illegal immigrant and possible be arrested by overeager officers of the department of ‘US Citizenship and Immigration Services’!
I suspect that many of my dear visitors will again suspect that this article is satirical, but I can assure you this is not the case. Whatever you believe, please consider signing this PETITION!
Dear Friends, thank you very much for all your support.
Yours sincerely,
Shelley Goodman
Picture Source: Villagevoice.com
14 Comments so far
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Shelly you dunder head jesus christ getting citizenship is f***king impossible. and from all of the venomous,hateful, racist,things that come out of your mouth will not gain you a ticket to heaven. and what really pisses me off is that you say cruel,venomous,hateful things about children with disabilities. your truly sick for saying those things about disabled children. nothing makes me more madder then when stupid religious fanatical bigots like you down children just because there a little bit different then you. you are’nt no christian shelley. cause christians don’t say shit like that and i don’t know where you get off claiming your a christian and yet make fun of people your nothing but cold hearted bitch.
Shelley, according to your bible the Promised Land is Israel…
Abraham “On that day, God made a covenant with Abraham, saying: “To your descendants I have given this land, from the river of Egypt as far as the great river the Euphrates. The land of the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites; the Chitties, Perizzites, Refaim; the Emorites, Canaanites, Girgashites and Yevusites.” (Genesis 15:18-21)
I love it how the Christian right applies their own meaning when it’s convenient. According to your religion, the bible is a sacred document whose words are true and literal. As such your notion that the USA is Gods chosen country is blasphemous… what?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s the punishment for that according to the old testament? A good stoning?
Oh no! Illegal inmigrant Jesus was arrested xD
If God is omnipotent, He doesn’t need a citizenship card. Coming from the Middle East, you’d probably evict Him anyway.
“Go back to jail, you celestial jew zombie savior of human kind.”
— A future cop.
this just shows you what a pathetic stupid bitch shelley is. get fucked bitch.
Sara Carter,
thanks for your comment I guess, but why exactly am I stupid?
Thanks,
Shelley N. Goodman
Oh by the way, regarding your first comment: I have never said or written anything that can even remotely be considered hateful or racist.
I have the love of Christ in my heart.
God bless y’all,
Shelley N. Goodman
your full of shit shelley go back and read your blogs stupid bitch they have nothing but hateful and racist bull shit. i would expect that coming from you cause you have no heart,no remorse, and you sure as hell do not have christ in your heart. cause christians don’t say such bull shit about retardation and other shit. your gonna be quite disappointed when you feel the flaming fires of hell burning your ass. that comment about the bill of rights makes you a traitor to this country. you ain’t no damn christian. you are an ambrassment to this country and to christianity. i’m glad i turned my back on god when i did now i see how christians are really like a bunch overly arrogant cocksucking bastards like your self shelley.
Watch your mouth, woman
I have always found Shelley to be a paragon of decency and good manners. Surely the power of Christ id strong in you Shelley, God bless you (even more!)
Shelly you are a real fucktard. When Jesus comes back he will most likely be Israeli. Or failing that a proper country like Britain. Not some shit hole like America
then we must get citizenship for satan. i’m an american and even i found what catholic warrior said to be down right hiliarious.good job catholic warrior.
and by the way billy bob neck kiss my ass i can say whatever i want you flaming homo. it’s called freedom of speech you bible beating religious heretic so fuck you. and funny how you should that when i’ve seen you go around bitching about the freedom of speech you fuckin hypocrite kiss my ass and god can also kiss my ass
right on sister. billy bob neck is a no pussy getting red neck with a first grade education.