My personal relationship with JESUS - How about you?
I like to witness to y’all.
Jesus lives in my heart. I love Him. He is there for me. He died for my sins. I would die for Him. He is what makes America great. He is the only source of hope, the only source of morality. Without Jesus there is no light, there is no sun, without Him the world would be a dark and lonely place.
Dear Friend:
Are you taking drugs? Are you having butt-sex? Are you a pedophile? Are you stealing and cheatin’? Are you a homosexual? Are you masturbating? Are you watching porn? Are you doing all of the above, in short: DO YOU CALL YOURSELF A LIBERAL???
If you can answer one or more of the above questions with “yes”, then there are only two possible ways to go for you.
1. Stop sinning and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
2. Burn in hell.
The consequences are:
1. You will live a life filled with love and joy. You won’t feel depressed, you wont feel the urge to have gay sex. Your life will be a Heavenly experience. When you die it will be painless and you will float up to Heaven. In Heaven you will meet Jesus. He will give you a loving hug and show you around. Heaven is your most beautiful dream come true. Everything is possible. You will spend eternity in everlasting bliss.
2. Your life will be filled with doubt and hate. You will be depressed and angry. You will start hating yourself. You will start drinking and having more butt-sex. You will start mutilating yourself, just to feel the pain. Every day of your life will be one filled of senseless violence, hate and you will always be on the losing side. Your death will be long and painful. After you die, Satan will greet you. He will make you bleed, he will pour salt in your wounds. He will laugh about your tears. He will rip the skin from your body and when you pass out from terrible pain, he will wake you up and continue. He will roast you alive. He will lock you in a small case and set you on fire. He will electrocute you. He will rip out your fingers. He will cut out your eyes and you wish you could die but you can’t, cause you are already dead. This will go on for all eternity and then, maybe then you will you would stopped voting democ-rat, being gay and taking drugs. Maybe then, but by then it’s too late.
So, what shall it be, folks?
31 Comments so far
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yeah right like you really have jesus in your heart i find it very hard to believe and not to mention you make me sick i cannot believe you have the gall to call yourself a christian when your racist and a biggot to people of race,political party,hair color,music,and video games and everything else that doe’snt go by your beliefs. if you have jesus in your heart like you claim then please start acting like it please.
and by the way i choose there’s my answer to your stupid question.
absolutely hilarious, thanks. Wasn’t going to drink tonight, but after reading the above, this beer’s for you.
“Without Jesus there is no light, there is no sun, without Him the world would be a dark and lonely place.”
Funny, I don´t give anything about Jesus, yet it´s a nice, sunny, bright day.
Nice photo-shop from 300. Using the ******* persian army…
“Are you taking drugs?”
No.
“Are you having butt-sex?”
No.
“Are you a pedophile?”
No. If anyone would ask me that in real life, I´d kick his ***.
“Are you stealing and cheatin’?”
In earnest? No.
“Are you a homosexual?”
No.
“Are you masturbating?”
No.
“Are you watching porn?”
No.
“DO YOU CALL YOURSELF A LIBERAL???”
HELL, YEAH!
“1. You will live a life filled with love and joy. You won’t feel depressed, you wont feel the urge to have gay sex. Your life will be a Heavenly experience. When you die it will be painless and you will float up to Heaven.”
How much bullshit is that? I´ve actually seen good people die in a slow and painful manner.
“2. Your life will be filled with doubt and hate. You will be depressed and angry. You will start hating yourself. You will start drinking and having more butt-sex. You will start mutilating yourself, just to feel the pain. Every day of your life will be one filled of senseless violence, hate and you will always be on the losing side. Your death will be long and painful.”
Funny how this doesn´t apply to me at all except for the doubt part. But then again, I´m viewing that doubt as a part of human nature per se and fully accept it.
And the rest is just another round of biblical fear-mongering. I´m not going to waste my life for some righteous dead dude because of that.
The German Guy
IMPEACH BUSH!
pegleghippie,
thanks but you shouldn’t drink beer.
It will weaken your morals and lead you into promiscuity.
All the best though.
“Proud” german,
you ain’t no liberal. You are a filthy german. All germans are nazi bastards. Everybody knows that!!!
Shelley
“He is the only source of hope, the only source of morality.”
You know the world has gone crazy when a dead guy is the only source of hope and morality in the world.
“Without Jesus there is no light, there is no sun”
Yet the sun was shining a few hours ago (it’s night in Australia)
“Are you taking drugs?”
No
“Are you having butt-sex?”
No
“Are you a pedophile?”
Do you want to get knocked out?
“Are you stealing and cheatin’?”
No
“Are you a homosexual?”
No
“Are you masturbating?”
Right now? No
“Are you watching porn?”
Right now? No
“DO YOU CALL YOURSELF A LIBERAL”
Fuck yeah I do!
“You will live a life filled with love and joy. You won’t feel depressed, you wont feel the urge to have gay sex. Your life will be a Heavenly experience. When you die it will be painless and you will float up to Heaven. In Heaven you will meet Jesus. He will give you a loving hug and show you around. Heaven is your most beautiful dream come true. Everything is possible. You will spend eternity in everlasting bliss.”
That is a pile of bullshit
“Your life will be filled with doubt and hate. You will be depressed and angry. You will start hating yourself. You will start drinking and having more butt-sex. You will start mutilating yourself, just to feel the pain. Every day of your life will be one filled of senseless violence, hate and you will always be on the losing side. Your death will be long and painful. After you die, Satan will greet you. He will make you bleed, he will pour salt in your wounds. He will laugh about your tears. He will rip the skin from your body and when you pass out from terrible pain, he will wake you up and continue. He will roast you alive. He will lock you in a small case and set you on fire. He will electrocute you. He will rip out your fingers. He will cut out your eyes and you wish you could die but you can’t, cause you are already dead. This will go on for all eternity and then, maybe then you will you would stopped voting democ-rat, being gay and taking drugs. Maybe then, but by then it’s too late.”
You seem to know an awful lot about hell Shelley, it’s almost like you’ve been to hell (or you were born there, you fucking demon spawn bitch)
What if you are doing it for research? Does that count? Like seeing what it is like to masturbate s little bit over gay porn? Wouldn’t a christian turn the other cheek?
By the way in Ecclesiastes 7:26 it says
26 I find more bitter than death
the woman who is a snare,
whose heart is a trap
and whose hands are chains.
The man who pleases God will escape her,
but the sinner she will ensnare.
Do you know where I can find any pics of this hot chick?
The only nazi bastard on this site is you, Shelley. If Hitler were alive today, you’d be Eva Braun.
Greetings from liberal Holland,
Thomas van der Meer
Haha, Proud German and Random Aussie … seperated at birth!
Random Aussie,
are you capable of having an original though?
You 2 make me physically sick.
Y’all are gonna BURN IN HELL!!!
Now leave and don’t come back!
Shelley
actually, i agree with you shelley. right you are. the others ain’t capable of having a original thought. good comeback hun
@Random Aussie/New Zealander what to that happened burn in your neck now that really made cry laugh out alot.XD
Are you confused, slut? You should take a time out, seriously.
>> You 2 make me physically sick.
>> Y’all are gonna BURN IN HELL!!!
>> Now leave and don’t come back!
It seems you’re out of arguments… like so many times before.
Your make me really sick!
No light without Jesus? Hm… he must be on vacation on Germany then, because we are currently enjoying most beautiful pre-summer weather: warm, but not hot, and not a single cloud in the sky.
As for your questions:
“Are you taking drugs?”
No. Wait! Does chocolate count?
“Are you having butt-sex?”
No.
“Are you a pedophile?”
No.
“Are you stealing and cheatin’?”
No.
“Are you a homosexual?”
Even better: bisexual - twice as much of a chance of finding a suitable partner ;-)
“Are you masturbating?”
Right now? No. Your article alone is entertaining enough.
“Are you watching porn?”
Why should I? I’m never desperate nor fanciless enough to consume that kind of junk.
“DO YOU CALL YOURSELF A LIBERAL”
No. Seneti. Or plainly Sen. Whichever you like.
Now, to way number 1: How can paradise be enjoyable when there is no sin in life in heaven? Sounds a little like soup without salt. Ewwww.
as for way number 2: Sounds painful, but I’d like to share a little saing / joke with you that ought to make people think: Imagine a man comes down to hell at the end of his life, because heaven won’t let him in. He arrives and steps through the dark, bloody gates only to mysteriously arrive at a beach. The sun is shining, people are having fun, ejoying the weather, the drinks and each other. He goes a a few hundred yards to the east along the shore, only to stumble over a figure with hooves and horns, sitting in front of a deep, fire-sprouting pit. Inside there are people screaming in agony, being tortured and sodomized and burned alive. Disgusted, the man turns around to the figure and asks: “Are you Satan?” “Yes,” he answers “I am.” “The man glances at the pit again: “And what is that deep, fiery pit-thing? I thought this was hell already?” The devil grins, pats his shoulder and turns to leave again. “Yes, this is hell. And… well… the pit… that’s for the Christians, they want it that way.”
God or Lucifer or whoever bless all those equipped with brains!
Seneti
“Random Aussie,
are you capable of having an original though?”
Yep, but why should I waste my time coming up with one for you?
Btw, if you did have a personal relationship with Jesus (damn Shelley, never knew Jesus was a pimp… or desperate) you would actually have a soul, you fucking slut.
rofl Random Aussie/New Zealander maybe she’s not easy enough for him.
“So, what shall it be, folks?”
Um, Cincinnati? Oh, wait a sec, you already listed Cincinnati as an option. Dang. I can never get these morality multiple choice questions.
Hi - it seems to me you are a bitterly unhappy person.
You try to terrify people who have a different point of view. I mean, it is easy to say: “You will burn in hell!”
But this is not new - it was an excellent way for the church during the late Middle Age - to get money from the “so called” sinners! For instant they said: “You will burn in hell, but if you will give us some money, your place in heaven will be sure!
This reminds me to an important part in the Bible: Let him who is without sin cast the first stone!
We are all sinners - this is life! Of course, it is most important to try to be a good person. Our life is based on rules.
I think, most of the time you are not able to see the beautiful things in your life?
For instant - last week I visited my relatives in Greece for 2 days. It was a short time, but it was very beautiful. We had bright sunshine, thousends of migration birds arrived - the Mediterranean Sea was deep blue - we had a great time.
I mean, all over the globe the nature is fascinating and this means a good life to realize, how beautiful our life actually is. If you realize that, you will never “burn in hell”, because you are able to accept the life and to accept the people.
Everybody creates his own hell. All people, who commit evil deeds, dark doings - these people will have a bad consience anytime, they cannot flee and it is impossible for them to forget what they did and this is the real hell and this can be much harder as your description of hell.
Peter Vienna
The concept of eternal torment in Hell is an evil lie used to terrorize! The following link refutes this wicked false concept: “Infamous Hall of Christian Terrorists Organizations of the World” http://www.tentmaker.org/articles/christian_terrorist_organizations.htm
Senseless violence? Stealing and cheating? Hate? Always on the losing side? Sounds like Blackwater jack-booted thugs! Unspeakable torture? Sounds like Gitmo!
Alright… time for an old fashioned beat down.
Bear with me as I shake off the dust and crack my knuckles.
“He is what makes America great”
-Despite their having nothing to do with each other? Impressive.
“He is the only source of hope, the only source of morality”
-That’s almost pathetic… you need an ancient martyr to be moral? I pity you. Morality exists without Chrisianity, look at Bhuddism.
“Dear Friend:
Are you taking drugs? Are you having butt-sex? Are you a pedophile? Are you stealing and cheatin’? Are you a homosexual? Are you masturbating? Are you watching porn? Are you doing all of the above, in short: DO YOU CALL YOURSELF A LIBERAL???”
-Hahahahaha… nice. How about you STR? Are you killing?Beating innocents? Hating? Do you call yourselves republicans?
“If you can answer one or more of the above questions with “yes”, then there are only two possible ways to go for you.
1. Stop sinning and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
2. Burn in hell.”
-Hmm, Heaven seems a pretty restrictive place for “paradise”, suppose I’ll see everybody in hell.
“you wont feel the urge to have gay sex.”
-What in the hell? Are you saying that you have to be in heaven to not feel the urge to have gay sex? I can’t help but wonder about the author…
“In Heaven you will meet Jesus. He will give you a loving hug and show you around”
-Careful though, it’s all secretly a test… you have to be uncomfortable and questioning about Jesus’ man hug, any good STR’ian would.
” You will spend eternity in everlasting bliss.”
-Assuming you follow their ridiculous rules… Heaven is a restrictive place these days… It’s like the exclusive club everybody wants into until they reaize it’s full of old rich boring people that are afraid of their own shadows…
“You will start drinking and having more butt-sex”
-Great punishment… That gay man that (according to STR) found his way to Hell through drinking and anal is *really* going to regret his actions when his days are filled with drinking and anal…
“You will start mutilating yourself, just to feel the pain”
-Hahaha, or, in other words, you turn Emo! ‘The bleeding let’s me know I’m alive!’
“He will rip the skin from your body and when you pass out from terrible pain”
-Pain is a human defensive response to prevent death… after death is pain really relevant?
“This will go on for all eternity”
-After a certain point there’d be nothing Satan could do to you… eventually you’d be used to it, or too destroyed to care… Satan really hasn’t much going for him… If I see Hell I plan to make it Hell for Satan.
There’s an old saying, one of my personal favourites:
“It is better to rule in Hell, than to serve in Heaven”
I’ll see you guys during the revolt.
Besides, Satan was an angel that fell because he tried to overthrow God (or at least that’s one of the theories)… So why would he create a polar opposite to heaven? Doesn’t that help God more than Satan? Wouldn’t it be more logical for him to rule over a domain greater than heaven?
Perhaps not my best article rip… but what can I say? I’m out of practice. Take it easy all,
-Wraith
Welcome back Wraith
@Wraith that was beautiful man. XD
” After you die, Satan will greet you. He will make you bleed, he will pour salt in your wounds.”
this is so contradicting!! i mean Satan was against god! and if you dont believe in god you are in theory against god…that would make use equall to satan then!
he would be playing video games with us not pour salt on our wounds!
“you ain’t no liberal. You are a filthy german. All germans are nazi bastards. Everybody knows that!!!”
Too bad that I consider myself a moderate liberal.
And don´t throw around the nazi-bat, it´s tiring, bothersome and very telling about your character and education.
For the record: i hate the fucking nazis for ruining my country. Ain´t gonna happen again.
“good comeback hun”
I presume you meant me. Thanks. (As a bavarian, I resen that somewhat. ;) )
“Besides, Satan was an angel that fell because he tried to overthrow God (or at least that’s one of the theories)… So why would he create a polar opposite to heaven? Doesn’t that help God more than Satan? Wouldn’t it be more logical for him to rule over a domain greater than heaven?”
To substitute another little tidbit: Look at the scene before and after Lucifer´s rebellion. Before it, god rules everything. After it, Lucifer rules hell, NOT god. Whoever said that Lucifer lost has a really funny definition of loosing. :)
The German Guy
IMPEACH BUSH!
haha rocket that was good.
“To substitute another little tidbit: Look at the scene before and after Lucifer´s rebellion. Before it, god rules everything. After it, Lucifer rules hell, NOT god.”
-Which in turn displays a failure on God’s part… which in turn displays imperfection… which in turn breaks omnipotence…
That aside, a few interesting Satan ideas spring to mind;
1) Satan’s a fallen angel… therefore his appearance would be angelic; he’d be beatiful.
2) The idea that Satan can take, and maintain, a realm means one of two things: either God is *not* omnipotent *OR* God condones the use of Hell and supplies his enemy, Satan, with souls.
“And don´t throw around the nazi-bat, it´s tiring”
-No doubt eh? That’s like all STR has *ever* used against you mate.
Anyway my internet is wonderfully broken so I’m out for the night,
-Wraith
well said wraith.
Ok, as we see it, this is supposed to be a good, ole gawd fearin’ website where us’uns sets aroun’ and talk ’bout the good ole USofA, then this stupid, simple-minded person throws this out..
“Shelley Goodman May 12th, 2008 11:13 am
Are you confused, slut? You should take a time out, seriously.
”
Are you kidding me Shelley? You called one of the females a ’slut’.. Do you KNOW her? Do you live next door to her? Have you seen her in a manner conducive to slut-like behavior? Are you Bi-Polar and completely off your medication…
This is typical trailer park types of attacks that will continue to haunt the republican party until it finally dissolves in a heap of goo and snot. Are there any of the republicans out there that have higher than a 3rd grade education and haven’t procreated a child with a directly linked family member?
@Steve that’s ok steve if anybody knows about being a slut it’s shelley steve she can call me all the names she wants it makes me laugh more then anything so really you got to laugh at her more less lol.
“well said wraith.”
-Thank ya kindly
-Wraith
Are you taking drugs?”
No.
“Are you having butt-sex?”
No. But may be I should ask My girlfriend about that, you know, life is short and you cant go without feeling everything this world has to give.
“Are you a pedophile?”
No.
“Are you stealing and cheatin’?”
No, Not in real life that is.
“Are you a homosexual?”
No.
“Are you masturbating?”
Not Really.
“Are you watching porn?”
Even If I wanted, I can´t.
“DO YOU CALL YOURSELF A LIBERAL???”
OF COURSE !!!
I mean, I keep peace with everyone, I loathe violence, I dont like discrimination or things like that. I mean you are a christian, you should know about that.
Ah, Yes, If God is omnipotent, why does he let live liberals in first place, and whats more, why does he let lucifer live?