Crimestoppers - America at its best!
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Everybody knows the old poster saying: “WANTED, DEAD OR ALIVE”. The modern perfected version of that poster is Crimestoppers USA.
Like my old friend Tristan Shuddery once said: “Everything worth owning, buying or using was invented in America!” And now true it is, still today. The non-profit organization Crimestoppers can be found in every civilized nation on earth.
Crimestoppers can be found in every county in America, just google your city name and crimestoppers, it surely comes up. In Iowa City for example you just dial 358-TIPS (8477) or, if you are a AT&T customer you just dial *TIPS, voilla!
For those of you who don’t know what Crimestoppers is, let me explain. It’s a hotline, in many cases already incorporated into the police departments. You can give them tips on criminal activity in your area. And EVERY successful tip will be rewarded with an amount of 50 - 1000 Dollars! The average sum paid out is 400 Dollars, tax free! I for one reported many incidences of crimes and earned 1400 Dollars so far! Are they performing abortions? It’s really worth to keep your eyes open and take a closer look at your neighbors. Are they hiring illegal aliens as nannies or gardeners? Are they gambling? Are they paying their taxes? If they do something wrong you can do something right. They land in jail and you get the money. It’s a wonderful thing. It not only improves the security, it really gives you a sense of community. I literally report ALL towel-heads I see, just to be on the safe side.
You can also submit your tips online at TIPSUBMIT.COM! This is a nationwide tip submission site. You can report all kinds of suspicious activity. Attention, students! Do you know somebody dealing drugs at your school? Do you know somebody that is carrying an unregistered weapon? Do you know a teacher having sex with their students? If so you can make a lot of money and get the xBox you always wanted! Maybe even an Atari Jaguar! You don’t even have to see the crime yourself! You can just mark “Another student told me about it” and once they got the criminal, YOU get the money! Just do it, help make America better!
Thanks for reading.
Yours,
Shelley The Republican
29 Comments so far
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I’d generally rather recomend forcing the youth of the nation into certain organisations and showing them the right way there. It may seem more expensive at the start, but experiments have shown that the only /real/ way to stay informed about criminal activity is to have some upright person in that family.
Of course! It’s a German nazi advocating for another HITLER YOUTH!!!
Shame on you!
Become a Blockleiter and be rewarded with enough money to buy a windows license. So everyone gets what he deserves.
While I do agree with the general concept as a whole (if you don’t report crimes the police wont know about them) I don’t see how it would improve a sense of community. If anything wouldn’t this create a sense of distrust amongst your neighbours?
//Christian
@Christian: I think you misunderstood Shelley. It surely does give you a _strong_ sense of community. But it’s arguable if it is a _positive_ sense of community. Just like shit probably has a _strong_ taste …
How am I a Nazi? I only wish for safe neighbourhoods. I don’t want to kill Jews…Immigrants at most. Also, I am for free enterprise, so I’m obviously not a Nazi! What an insensitive thing to say!
Such programms have pros and cons:
The Pro side is that they actually help getting criminals arrested.
The Contra: People misusing the anonymity offerred to smear innoccent people, widespread denunciation and even general paranoia. IE the destruction of exatly the community it relies on.
Such programs are good, but only as long as they are not overly abused and strictly limited. Otherwise such things quite easily lead towards political developments that neither republicans nor democrats would possibly like.
“Like my old friend Tristan Shuddery once said: “Everything worth owning, buying or using was invented in America!” And now true it is, still today. The non-profit organization Crimestoppers can be found in every civilized nation on earth.”
Why is the US military using a heap of european inventions again? (You know, things like H&K weaponry, the M1 Abrams´ 120mm cannon from Rheinmetall or the Belgian FN Minimi aka M240.) Seeing that they weren´t invented in the USA, seems like you own armed forces pretty much ridiculed that statement.
“Are they performing abortions? It’s really worth to keep your eyes open and take a closer look at your neighbors.”
Due to Roe vs Wade, abortionas are not a crime anymore. Crime stoppers are following local law, not religious rules.
“I literally report ALL towel-heads I see, just to be on the safe side.”
1. Rascist.
2. Being such a asstard and bringing in absolutely useless reports that are not founded on anything but rascism will make it more difficult to react to serious reports. They also waste the cops resources.
“Of course! It’s a German nazi advocating for another HITLER YOUTH!!!
Shame on you!”
And now I actually have to give Shelley right when it comes to that single quote. How the fuck did that happen? Oo
The German Guy
IMPEACH BUSH!
I already wrote this, but it seems my comment got lost:
@Christian: I think, you got Shelley wrong. There is no doubt it does create a _strong_ feeling for community. Shelley never wrote it was a cosy or comforting or by any means _positive_ feeling.
Shit also has a _strong_ flavour after all …
Oh boy, a Jaguar! Maybe I could get a shrinky dink machine and some tie die shirts too! Can’t forget about a Captain EO action figure too! And E.T. on VHS!
On a somewhat unrelated note, Jack Thompson, renowned anti-video games activist, has been found guilty on 27 charges of various misconduct by the Florida bar. And they’re not even done with him yet. You can see the full story here: http://www.uberreview.com/2008/05/jack-thompson-to-be-pwned-by-the-bar-in-september.htm
Cops Say: “Don’t work. Make More Money By Becoming a Totalitarian Snitch.” http://www.lewrockwell.com/blog/lewrw/archives/021067.html
“If they do something wrong you can do something right. They land in jail and you get the money.”
So its greed then? greed is a sin you know, those people will end in jail you will go to hell…it even rhymes.
Also…NOOB
stong hand of the law? it’s more like the fat ass of the law! making people snitch on other people is just another cog in the machine towards a facist america. to be honest I don’t care, but thats just stupid payig people for seeing brown people! YOU REDNECK RETARD!
Hi - on the one hand this Crime Stoppers org. could be a good idea - on the other hand, to get money for accusation - I am not sure, if it really works well.
Because people will accuse each other after a while (especially in a small town or community) cause the greatest attraction is money, even in second place comes the general idea - crime stopping.
But we have an example in the past - during the late middle age people got money for blaming women or other people, who could be witches or heretics. (to keep Christianity clean) The result we all know, a lot of them, who were actually innocent got executed.
This is the other side of the coin - therefore I belief, it would work better or fair without financial reward.
Peter Vienna
Thank you Shelley. Your suggestion will be great for me because I need a little more pocket money. Each time my husband gets stoned he wants to do me anally. Its a pain for me, but I love him dearly, and now I can get some spending money for myself, tax free of course, and courtesy of the dumb tax payer. As I say to everyone I know, this website is a definite winner in my eyes.
this is a screenshot of smelleys desktop as of september 2007:
http://www.shelleytherepublican.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/vistascreenshot.jpg
i have a few things to say:
* smelley uses gaim, which is , according to her, liberal european crap, just because it’s open-source. btw it’s in every standard installation of ubuntu.
* smelley uses a core duo processor, which isn’t produced in america.
* smelley uses bittorrent (system tray), although she says it’s a “network of pirats, criminal hackers and scofflaws” and, of course, “a European plan to incriminate us all”.
* smelley also uses the zonealarm firewall, which was programmed in europe.
* smelley uses itunes, produced by apple, according to smelley, “the homosexuals favorite”.
let’s repeat:
smelley would call somebody using the products above
* communist (gaim is foss)
* un-american (uses cpu from gay europe)
* an european spy, un-american (for trading secret information via bittorrent to russian spies)
* unamerican, naive (for using european products to protect you (because your american vista can’t do it))
* simply gay.
result:
SMELLEY IS A COMMUNIST EUROPEAN SPY WHO IS SO NAIVE AND GAY THAT HER UN-AMERICANISM COUNTS THREE TIMES.
You are a liar! I ain’t using no “Gaim”. I don’t even know what “Gaim” is!!!
And I am using bittorrent only to search for illegal porn so I can report them to the FBI!!!
Suuuuure, you are. *wink wink, nudge nudge*
We all know you get off on that stuff. No use in hiding it.
Oh, and gaim is the old name for Pidgin. And you ARE using Pidgen.
Commy.
“my old friend Tristan Shuddery”
-Woah, now there’s a name I didn’t expect to see dropped… he still living in a cave?
“It’s really worth to keep your eyes open and take a closer look at your neighbors.”
-I’ll bet Shelley’s neighbours gave up and installed a 12 foot tall privacy fence and hired a body guard named Mike to stand there and discourage spying.
“They land in jail and you get the money. It’s a wonderful thing.”
-Greed’s sinful you know.
“It not only improves the security”
-Yes and no… there are two ways it could be abused; crying wolf consistantly, as I’m sure STR does, or allowing for a police state.
“I literally report ALL towel-heads I see, just to be on the safe side.”
-Sigh…
“Attention, students! Do you know somebody dealing drugs at your school? Do you know somebody that is carrying an unregistered weapon? Do you know a teacher having sex with their students? If so you can”
-Kill your social life in one fell swoop? *Nobody* likes a tattle-tale, and it’s honourless to rat out one’s friends.
“If so you can make a lot of money and get the xBox you always wanted!”
-And have it red ring of death fresh from the box. Then after two weeks of fighting to return it and buying a superior product you can come to the realization that nobody wants to play with you because nobody trusts you. Yay!
“Just do it, help make America better!”
-’Better’ is a relative term.
“It’s a German nazi advocating for another HITLER YOUTH!!!”
-Yeah, because the Nazi’s here at STR certainly don’t advocate anything remotely like what the Nazi party did… It’s not like they support concentration camps or anything. Cough, Cough.
http://www.shelleytherepublican.com/2007/08/03/finally-one-step-closer-to-god.aspx
Not much else to say tonight,
-Wraith
http://bestpicever.com/pic-1110-Difference-between-Europe-and-USA
“on the one hand this Crime Stoppers org. could be a good idea - on the other hand, to get money for accusation - I am not sure, if it really works well.”
germany tried, it doesn’t.
HAIL ERIS!
operation smelleyweaselsmell
new facts about shelley soon to be revealed!
@Shelley, “Are they paying their taxes?…Do you know somebody that is carrying an unregistered weapon?” And you call yourself a “conservative”! Getting paid by government to rat on people for those reasons sounds very commie pinko to me! Sounds like a tax and spend,gun grabbing socialist looking for a government hand-out!
Crime stoppers is a good idea, but like so many other good ideas, it is prone to corruption because of the cash reward, as stated by several of my fellow peanut gallery brethren, people could start making up bullshit stories (and apparently STR already has) to get the $$$.
Btw, looks like Shelley is going to jail for looking at child porn, the FBI won’t believe your little tale of how you’re trying to track the “directors” down, and you’re far too stupid and prejudicial to do it anyway.
Yes Random - I wrote nearby the same, the cash reward is the problem, cause we had such experiences in the past - goes even back to the Middle Age as innocent women got blamed for witchcraft. A better civil courage must be the target and not cash.
This problem is actually international - right now we have such discussions all over Central Europe, especially in Austria - we had a lot of sex crimes, like incest, child porn and so on. The people didn`t realized what their perverted neighbors did since years or even decades. Young girls were held captive since years or decades and no one of the family, friends or neighbors realized anything.
Peter Vienna
@ Peter
Yeah, like that dude who got arrested several weeks ago in Austria, the cops found his 20-something year old daughter locked in his basement with, I think it was 9 kids, who turned out to be his grandchildren and her sons/daughters.
*sigh* What is the world coming to?
“Hello? 1-800-SNITCH? I’d like to report a terrorist warlord who’s been plotting terror attacks in the Mid-East! His address? He’s at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue!”
@Mildly Insecure German i am so sorry that bitch shelley was so insensitive to you i truly am so sorry she was insensitive to you dude.
and shelley i have seen mildly insecure german say some respectful things to you and have seen him agree with some of the bull shit that comes out of your mouth. god damn shelley your nothing but a cold hearted bitch. quit blaming all germans for how hitler made germany look. not all germans are nazi’s and bad people lay off the god damn germans will ya and i am getting really damn fucking tired of you calling all arabs towel heads lay the fuck off of arabs all ready you racist and biggot bitch. and you wonder why people flame and wail on you stupid bitch you are the biggest epic failure i have seen seen get a life you racist bitch.
Yeahhh - I feel much safer now - we have Crime Stoppers in Austria too!!!
the international crime stoppers meeting was in Vienna Austria.
By the way - who pays the reward? The goverment? Cause it is a non-provit organisation…….
Peter Vienna
This is not new though is it? You had it in the fifties to fix the commies wagon. And boy were there red faces on TV!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAACIST!