The end of high gas-prices
Friends,
How can we solve the problem of high gas prices? Since the Democrats took control over Congress and the Senate gas prices have risen to record highs meaning that hard working folks like you and me end up paying for Democratic party mis-management every time we go visit the gas station. It’s plain to see that the Democrats don’t care, but who does: The answer is Jesus!
PLEASE SAY THIS PRAYER NEXT TIME YOU GO TO A GAS STATION:
In the holy name of Jesus, we cast out the demons of high gas prices with the Blood of Christ. By his holy blood let the evil spirit of inflation be gone. Please bless this gas pump, and if it be your will oh LORD, please let it serve us with gasoline back below $2 per galon as you rightly intend.
LORD, please help our leaders to underatand our need to open up new oil-fields, and give them the wisdom to cut taxes on gas during the holiday season. Please bless the board of Chevron, Exxon, Texaco, BP, Shell and the oil companies who serve you by keeping our cars and trucks running.
LORD please punish the environmentalists like Al Gore who preach a false gospel of “Peak Oil” and “Global Warming” - please show them that their deluded fantasies are hurting America - and if it be your will, please smite them and silence their foolish words.
And most of all, heavenly father please grant victory to John McCain and defeat to your enemy Barack Hussein Obama.
AMEN!
Some friends of ours in Washington state have set up a prayer vigil around the gas pumps in order to ask the LORD for lower gas prices, just read what the AFP had to say:
Twyman, a former Miss Washington DC, the owner of a small construction company and two volunteers at a local soup kitchen — joined hands, bowed their heads and intoned a heartfelt prayer.
“Lord, come down in a mighty way and strengthen us so that we can bring down these high gas prices,” Twyman said to a chorus of “amens”.
“Prayer is the answer to every problem in life… We call on God to intervene in the lives of the selfish, greedy people who are keeping these prices high,” Twyman said on the gas station forecourt in a neighborhood of Washington that, like many of its residents, has seen better days.
These folks get it: Gas prices are high because selfish greedy people keep the prices high - us poor folks end up having to pay sky-high bills to fuel our trucks just so some Chinaman can have aircon in their home. Those Chinese lived for hundreds of years without air-conditioning, how come they need it all of a sudden now? What’s their excuse for buying up all the oil that should be rightfully ours?
Rocky Twyman’s simple faith will move Jesus to act on our behalf and send us the lower gas prices we have been praying for. I just know it’s what God wants and if we all pray hard enough we are going to get it!
UPDATE: One of our readers pointed out that the exact week that our friends were praying the price of Alaska Crude fell. That proves the power of Prayer!
Yours in Christ,
Jimmy Goddard
12 Comments so far
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lol you must be typing from a mental facility
don’t go blaming democrats for the high price of gas put the blame where it really belongs on that son of a bitch dingbat george dumbass bush.
and why has’nt that dumbass dingbat president of ours done anything about it? cause our dingbat dumbass president don’t give a damn that have buy gas at such a high price.
“How can we solve the problem of high gas prices? Since the Democrats took control over Congress and the Senate gas prices have risen to record highs meaning that hard working folks like you and me end up paying for Democratic party mis-management every time we go visit the gas station. It’s plain to see that the Democrats don’t care, but who does: The answer is Jesus!”
What is it that morons always blame people for high gas prices? It´s not people (and what could the government do about gas prices anyway?), it´s the market. Supply hasn´t risen lately, but demand has by quite a margin, because China´s setting in the second gear.
More demand with the same supply = higher prices.
“In the holy name of Jesus, we cast out the demons of high gas prices with the Blood of Christ. By his holy blood let the evil spirit of inflation be gone. Please bless this gas pump, and if it be your will oh LORD, please let it serve us with gasoline back below $2 per galon as you rightly intend.”
Inflation isn´t the problem here. It´s not that the dollar is loosing value (well, it is, but that´s not the primary reason), it´s that the oil is getting more valuable.
“LORD, please help our leaders to underatand our need to open up new oil-fields, and give them the wisdom to cut taxes on gas during the holiday season. Please bless the board of Chevron, Exxon, Texaco, BP, Shell and the oil companies who serve you by keeping our cars and trucks running.”
What oil fields? Ther earen´t that many still untapped that could be exploited without earning a net loss.
“LORD please punish the environmentalists like Al Gore who preach a false gospel of “Peak Oil” and “Global Warming” - please show them that their deluded fantasies are hurting America - and if it be your will, please smite them and silence their foolish words.”
Too bad that peak oil isn´t a fantasy, but rather simply based on the term that there´a finite amount of oil avaiable and that it WILL run out eventually. Deny it all you want, but you can´t keep your cake and eat it, too.
““Prayer is the answer to every problem in life… We call on God to intervene in the lives of the selfish, greedy people who are keeping these prices high,” Twyman said on the gas station forecourt in a neighborhood of Washington that, like many of its residents, has seen better days.”
Another idiotic bible thumper that doesn´t understand that the market is the reason for the prices, not single people.
“These folks get it: Gas prices are high because selfish greedy people keep the prices high - us poor folks end up having to pay sky-high bills to fuel our trucks just so some Chinaman can have aircon in their home. Those Chinese lived for hundreds of years without air-conditioning, how come they need it all of a sudden now? What’s their excuse for buying up all the oil that should be rightfully ours?”
They don´t need any excuse. It´s an open market and anyone can buy whenever he wants to. If you don´t have the money to buy it, that oil´s not “rightfully yours” anymore. Sucks to be you. Isn´t capitalism great?
“UPDATE: One of our readers pointed out that the exact week that our friends were praying the price of Alaska Crude fell. That proves the power of Prayer”
Seems more like another one of these periodic price reductions that come before the price gets raised yet again…
The German Guy
IMPEACH BUSH!
NEW SHOCKING PICTURES OF SMELLEY AND THE GANG REVEAL THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTIAN LOVE…
http://bestpicever.com/pic-4067-Bad-monkeys
HAIL ERIS.
caps rule ;)
Unfortunatelly we have high gas prices all over the globe - all who need their cars are upset - if it is in Europe, Asia, America and so on - also in Greece, Austria, Hungaria….the price rised up extreme.
Peter Vienna
Hmm… if the Chinese lived for hundreds of years without air conditioning, they can still live without it… then maybe since AMERICANS lived for hundreds of years without cars, we should be able to live without CARS!!!
Fuck you, Jimmy.
Is “peak oil” a myth? Is the theory that petroleum is a non-renewable “fossil fuel” an outmoded concept? http://www.gasresources.net Have prices been manipulated by oil companies and the federal government through artificial scarcity partially due to refineries not being built in the US in 35 years? “The Energy Non-Crisis” by Lindsey Williams http://www.reformation.org/energy-non-crisis.html
Prayer: a temporary solution.
Ha.
That graphic is 2 years old. Oil price has doubled since then. How could that be? I believe as good christians you were praying all the time? Explain that!
I think you should attack Iran, because then you will have many more opportunities to pray. One high OPEC guy said that if Iraq should be attacked, oil prices can rise up to 400$ per barrel (probably 200€ at that time, so gasoline prices might increase even in Europe).
…I pray to the goddess that this website is one, big, satirical joke. Please. If it’s not… I don’t like Jesus, but I don’t think even he would like you.
Unfortunately for you, it seems that the prayer did not have a lasting effect. You will note that the graph continues upward (towards heaven?) in the weeks after the prayer. Nevermind, you won’t note, but I’m pointing it out anyway. Look at the place where it says prayer, then look to the right of the “r” in prayer, and notice that it is higher than the part circled.
Oh, and by the way, the democrats weren’t managing anything during the entirety of this graph. This is a graph during the time of a Republican Congress and Republican Senate.
Obama Biden… WIN!!!!!!!!!
Now I don’t have to move to Canada