A vision on the 4th of July
Friends,
I’ve been a little quite since the 4th - the truth is something big happened to me that night that at first I didn’t want to share with you. The truth I hate to admit is that I was scared.
It took me a while to open up - at first I mentioned it at our weekly prayer circle Shelley convinced me to write something about it. It’s really hard to talk about because and I know some of you will think I’m crazy… but heck I know that I’m just doing what Jesus wants.
That Friday, I was saying my prayers just before I went to sleep, when I suddenly felt a feeling of elation, as if I had been touched by an Angel - across the room I could see a figure materializing in the dusk: An old man, weary from a life of struggle. As I rubbed my eyes in disbelief, the form infront of me took shape, it was a ghost, but of whom? Suddenly the phantom begant to speak and I at once recognized the voice of a godly man, steeped in wisdom and the kindness of Jesus Christ:
It was the ghost of Jesse Helmes!
Jesse Helms, one of the greatest patriots ever. He fought against sin, he dared speak out against homosexuality, abortion, atheism and other such issues of critical importance to all sensible Americans. He will be greatly missed by every conservative.
“Friend”, spoke the phantom, “I gave my life in the service of Christ, and I have been sent by the LORD to deliver one last message. Soon I will be in heaven sitting along with Ronald Reagan, Barry Goldwater and Jerry Falwell at the feet of Jesus Christ, but my work here is not complete, you and your readers must complete what I started.”
“What must I do”, I asked - “What is God’s will?” - I nervously added.
“God wants you to do exactly what he wanted me to do”, spoke the old ghost, “God wants you to stamp out liberalism, expose Barack Hussein Obama and avenge the people who criticize Larry Sinclair and above all get John McCain elected as the 44th President of the USA so that he can continue George W. Bush’s sensible policies”
“I can do that… I swear!”, I said, but the ghost looked deep into my soul with his stern, yet loving eyes:
“That’s not all Jimmy. Jesus has given me a warning for you to pass on to the world: The end times are approaching and God’s people - the white folk will come under attack. You will be attacked by negroes and the forces of political correctness. You will be attacked by the homosexuals who will destroy our institution of marriage. You will be attacked by abortionists who will kill your children. You will be attacked by liberals who will try to infect you with their moral relativism - but you must stay strong. You must resist. You must fight”
“How, how must I fight these forces of evil?”, I implored.
“Simple - you must give everything you own, and every waking minute of the day to secure a victory for the Republican party, God’s party to guarantee that America is once again safe for people like you who love Freedom.”, replied the ghost.
And with that, the spirit ascended - I could almost swear that I saw shimmering wings carrying the spirit of Jesse Helms aloft, into the loving embrace of Jesus Christ.
All my life I have known that my simple faith in Christ would be rewarded, but with all modesty, I am surprised that God has chosen me, and my fellow writers at Shelley The Republican.com to be the vessels of all our salvation. This humble Christian will submit to God’s request.
Yours in Christ,
Jimmy Goddard
30 Comments so far
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Ok people I know that every now and again people leave hateful comments on these types of articles but I have to say this time I applaud Jimmy Goddard. He has taught all of us a valuble lesson; don’t BBQ indoors, especially when masterbating to pictures of Jesse Helms (I know its difficult, sexy bastard).
ScooteR
ps. “Water based lubricants…Friend or Foe?”
If I had a vision like that,I’d suspect somebody slipped some bad LSD in my hot cocoa! Visions of Jesse Hell,what a nightmarish bad trip!
Well Jimmy…Schizoes are never alone.
/True Christian
Jimmy Goddard, if Jesse Helms is anywhere it would be hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK THE RAPTURE
FUCK JESSE HELMS
FUCK JERRY FALWELL
Jimmy Goddard are you just trying to secertky tell us that you are probaly a self-hating homosexual nutcase!!!!
P.S. FUCK THE RAPTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
The 1111 I added on accident! Ooops
FUCK JESSE HELMS!!!!!
Wasn’t Jesse Helms also a racist? America is better today with the death of another racist. May it continue to improve like this.
White people are being assimilated. It’s all because of white whores havin sex with black men. Just do a search for interracial porn and you will see that there are not just a few but millions of white women doin it with black.
The problem is that blacks bein animals an all have large dicks and white womens wants that. We gotta get white guys to grow them big so we can get our women back.
Futuresoldja
Can YOU recognize the devil in disguise?
Maybe if Helms hadn’t rejected universal healthcare, Jimmy could’ve been treated faster.
Jesse was a great friend of the wise, noble leaders who run America. Even DemocracyNow! wrote:
Jesus is beaming with pride that such a man is with him in heaven!
Always Right
43rd President. Forty-THIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or, 9001st!
Hallucinations are serious things. You should be hospitalized. My dad is a therapist and he says that if hallucinations occur help is needed, and immediately. Unless you were high in which case I recommend rehab.
Dear Chukcles,
So all AIDS cases can be traced to sodomy,yea tell that to Ryan White you fucking asshole. Helms is burning hell.
FUCK THE RAPTURE!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S. Jimmy Goddard I do think is on pot!!!!!!!!!
Of course when I mean Chuckles, I mean Charles Roast the 3rd, you “I’m Always Right” maybe more like I am always inbred and stupid!
Do you really beileve that the Jesus as described in the Bible would approve of G.W. Bush, Jesse Helms, Jerry Farwell, and the like? Jesus as described in the Bible was a man who believed in helping the poor, caring for the children, housing the homeless, curing the sick and loving all. This is a far cry from the policies of G.W.Bush and his kind, especially John McCain who lives in 9 Mansions, thinks it is funny that we are exporting cigeretts to Iraq, (”that will kill more of them”) - I don’t think Jesus as described in the Bible or the God of trhe Bibile would approve of murdering Thousands of Iraqis in an illeagal invasion, do you?
@Political world
Amen to that…
Nope, the STR crew hasn´t got any clue whatsoever, to what the Bible teaches us…. Their misinterpretations of the Holy book couldn´t be more wrong…
/True Christian
@Her Excellency, Psychedelics (LSD,Peyote,Psilocybin,Mescaline) aren’t addictive,therefore rehab is unnecessary! Do you propose forcing American Indians who use Peyote as a religious sacrament into rehab? The vast majority of psychedelic users know they’re hallucinating and it will wear off. Just stop taking them and hallucinations will end! Except in the case of LSD flashbacks,of course which some people have but they’ll eventually end too! Psychiatric or medical attention may be required if one has a pre-existing mental illness,in severe cases of bad trips or flashbacks or “bad acid”,which may be other dangerous drugs such as PCP. _________________________________ PCP is an addictive and highly dangerous hallucinogenic drug that causes delusional thinking, (one thinks the hallucinations are real) originally developed for use as an animal tranquilizer. First aid for overdose is large amounts of cranberry juice cocktail,according to Dr. David Smith of the Haight Ashbury Clinic in San Francisco. _________________________________________ @Whattheheck, Pot doesn’t cause hallucinations! Where did you get that dated,”Reefer Madness” era notion? It’s the mildest,safest mood altering substance compared to all others by far! Including the legal but potentially deadly and addictive alcohol! I used to be a pot smoker in my younger days until Bush Sr. waged his “war on drugs” which made me fear arrest,asset forfeiture and/or being forced by a judge to choose between jail or rehab! Pot smokers that are in rehab are there to avoid jail time,not because pot is allegedly “addictive”! Those are the only serious side-effects of marijuana,government induced side-effects! Minor side effects are occasional sleepiness,coughing,minor short-term memory loss,laughter,hunger and thirst.
Hey Abbie I am against the war on drugs, it is a stupid waste of money, and drugs should be legal because a lot drugs that are illegal are not the dangerous and so what if they were as long as they are not harming me. I am just saying that because Chuck’s buddy Sam Johnston accused me of being a pothead.
@whattheheck, Sorry about that! I jumped to the wrong conclusion! I took your remark out of context! There are worse things than to be accused of being a pothead in my opinion! An alcoholic,especially one who’s constantly wasted on moonshine,for instance! Or a prescription drug addict like Rush Limbaugh! I’ve heard Rush is a show-biz act that doesn’t actually believe his own bullshit! He’s just a fake spewing neocon propaganda for big money! He wound up an Oxycontin addict because the guilt of spouting years of Republican party line dogma bothered his conscience!
Abbie - you know a lot about drugs. My drug experiences I had in the 70ies. Most interesting for me personally was Psylocibin - these tiny slim mushrooms which with their hallucinatory effect grows in Mexico too. We have these kind of mushrooms all over the Mediterranean and the Alps. Also nice “colorful” trips are the seeds of “morning glory” (Ipomoea violaca). In the 70ies I was hanging around in Matala, Crete, this was a well known international meetingpoint of hippies. Some guys from the States told me a lot about these drugs.
For example LSD was pretty common all over Europe, easy, good and cheap. However I remember to 2 or 3 guys, they got a kind of “Psychosis” after their LSD trips. I remember to one these guys, he began to carry a 2 feet high figure of Blessed Virgin Mary in his bag - to the restaurant, to the park, to his parents and so on. He became total crazy after his exessive LSD using. I think one or two years later he commited suicide. An other guy got heavy depressions (after many LSD trips) and he had to go to the psychiatry - after 1-2 years of rehab he was ok again.
Most of the people had not troubles with their LSD experiences. Sometimes one of us got a “horror-trip”, but not for a longer period. Flashbacks were not uncommon and I remember, it was harmless.
In the 70ies we used natural drugs, like Bella Donna, Henbane, Datura or Fly Agaric and so on, these are the typically witch drugs, with their strong hallucinatory effect. But we used that stuff one time only, cause their side effects were too nasty.
I have never used PCP, this was the typically Hells Angels Drug - also known as the Angel-Dust. Just a small number of people used that stuff and they told me scary stories.
Real trubbles I got by using different Opiate products. All my rehabilitations were definitely horrific and it needed almost one month untill I was in normal condition again. We call a heroin or opium withdrawal “Cold Turkey” that means sleepless nights for 1-2 weeks and heavy pain all the time. Opiates are all products from the Poppies (Papaver somniverum): Morphium, Opium, Heroin, Codein and some people prepare a Poppy-Tea as well (cook poppy straw as a tea). Tastes totally terrible. The farmers in the Alps used it in the past against their sleeping problems.
Cannabis sativa - you call it Pot in the US - I smoked a lot in my hippie years. Easy to get and real cheap all over the Middle East, Northern Africa and Southern Asia. From the late 60ies till to the early 80ies many Indian-travellers took a lot of Hash, Marihuana and Hash Oil to Europe, without finacial interests. Hash and Grass was very common and cheap in Europe and in countries like the Netherlands and (in parts of Denmark) it is still allowed. In Spain, Austria, Italy, Switzerland….the police don`t even care if someone smokes pot in public. The drug situation in Austria right now I don`t know exactly. But an old friend told me, it became a bit stricter, cause the drug-related crime increased since 1 decade.
A big question is: What actually happens to make some people addicted to drugs, tabletts or alcohol. Bascially all Opiates make people addicted - this stuff is definitely dangerous and some tabletts too. In using Cocaine I have not much experiences - Cocaine was rare and expensive in Europe, cause the long distance to South America. But Opiate - like heroin, codein, morphium came from the Middle East or in the 70ies from the Golden Triangle. (Laos, Thailand, Burma).
A couple of times I got informations, that CIA agents worked with drug dealers in Colombia, Nicaragua, Laos and Afghanistan. Air America, this non-offical airline and air supply between Laos and South Vietnam was also used as heroin transport - some high ranking Laotian officers became rich persons and immigrated to the States after the war 75. They sold their stuff also to GIs in Vietnam. In the 90ies CIA planes brought cocain to the States. There was a lot of excitment in Southern California against the CIA and their connection to drug dealers. Russia became an important drug transfer - the overland transport from Afghanistan to Central Europe is easier and they have to pass just 2-3 borders only.
By the way….it was the ghost of Jesse Helmes - I would like to meet the ghost of Jimi Hendrix!
Peter Vienna
“All my life I have known that my simple faith in Christ would be rewarded, but with all modesty, I am surprised that God has chosen me, and my fellow writers at Shelley The Republican.com to be the vessels of all our salvation.”
Firstly, faith in Christ is never simple! On the other hand you believe, you are something special - you just believe in it, but you don`t know exactly!. I agree - it is great to believe in God, but this must be your own intimate experience. God had chosen you? - I would never talk about it.
If I read such an article like now, I think you must be a bunch of ultra lefties. This website must be a spoof! I know some serious Christians, but no one of them would talk about his own spiritual experiences in public!
Peter Vienna
Returning to the original subject of the vision of “Saint” Jesse,will Jimmy Goddard have a vision next where he’s visited by the ghost of Tony Snow? Will he give an inspiring speech on how to spread the neocon “Snow” job,I mean God’s Truth,pure as the driven “Snow” to the masses?
Hey no problem Abbie, and yea Rush Limbaugh is much worse.
I believe that’s Iran, not Iraq, which makes it even more noteworthy; apparently, U.S. exports to Iran have significantly increased under the Bush régime.
Dark forces are at work…
I’m not surprised. The mediocre knows nothing higher than itself.
“It was the ghost of Jesse Helmes!”
You should really consider doing something about those hallucinations…
That being said, whatever you were on, I´d NOT like some, too. Man, what a nightmare.
“The end times are approaching”
Oh gosh. Isn´t that what christians have been telling for the last few millenia?
“You will be attacked by abortionists who will kill your children”
Abortionists only “kill” their own children…
ANd it´s really a sad testament of the impotence of these so-called republicans, if they have to resort to “heavenly miracles” to get their agenda promoted…
The German Guy
IMPEACH BUSH!
Um, Barry Goldwater desegregated the Arizona National Guard, and supported gay and abortion rights. I don’t think you MoveOn HuffPost college kids (Oops, I mean Shelly the Republican) have your facts straight when you lump him in with Helms.
You saw a ghost? Wow, okay I know your smoking something, hand them over, it’s only right to share :P
It’s a sin to be selfish, come one now share the wealth.
Jimmy, oh Jimmy-boy
Stop stealing traffic from Wikipedia Images, please
or you just don’t have the money to pay your lame-ass site?
GetFactsRight