Masturbation : Jesus didn’t do it and neither should you!!!
Every child know that it is wrong to masturbate! Masturbation was invented by a disgusting Jewish guy with the name “Onan”. According to the Bible when God noticed that Onan masturbated He told him it is an abomination and He killed him on the spot as an example to others. There you can see how God feels about masturbation (or choking the chicken, or polishing the salami or whatever the kids call it today).
Masturbation is basically the act of simulating the sex act which itself is only meant to father children. It is a sin to have sex without the intent of having children and of course it is a sin to masturbate, there is no question about that.
It is not only against the will of God to masturbate but there are also serious health implications. Several studies show that masturbation might cause Peyronie’s disease in men and Vaginiti in women (even though I agree with Sam when he says that it is physically impossible for a woman to effectively masturbate).
.
The “New England Medical Journal of Vermont” says the following about Masturbation:
Frequent masturbation and ejaculation stimulate acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions excessively, resulting in the over production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters such as acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin. Abundant and unusually amount of these hormones and neurotransmitters can cause the brain and adrenal glands to perform excessive dopamine-norepinephrine-epinephrine conversion and turn the brain and body functions to be extremely sympathetic. In other words, there is a big change of body chemistry when one excessively pratices masturbation.
If you feel the urge to masturbate I suggest you take a cold shower or read the bible. Once the day of judgement arrives you better have a clear conscience! There are also ways to effectively stop your child from masturbating. First of all you have to lay down the ground rules. Tell them what the bible says about masturbation and tell them that God does not love them anymore when they masturbate. If you catch your child in the act of masturbation I don’t think there is another way than to beat the child. Hard. This way they automatically connect masturbation with the feeling of severe pain. If you suspect that your kid might be a liberal then he or she might actually like the painful experience and the lesson will sadly be lost. But then, if you really have a liberal child, all hope is lost anyway.
He might feel good now but God hates him and he will burn in hell!
.
I have two daughters myself and they assured me that they never touched themselves. I am very proud of them. On the day the marry, they will have their first sexual interaction and 9 months later they will become a mother just like I am . This is the way God wants it to be.
God bless all Godly people,
Shelley Goodman
P.S. To read the views of Pastor Bucks on masturbation click on our Problems Page!
31 Comments so far
Leave a reply
“Every child know that it is wrong to masturbate! Masturbation was invented by a disgusting Jewish guy with the name “Onan”. According to the Bible when God noticed that Onan masturbated He told him it is an abomination and He killed him on the spot as an example to others. There you can see how God feels about masturbation (or choking the chicken, or polishing the salami or whatever the kids call it today).”
And the morale of the story? God´s a hypocritical bastard who will gleefully kill people for “sins” that he hadn´t even defined as sins when they were perpetrated. Wow, even most god-damn dictators, hell, even the fucking Soviets, weren´t that obnoxious.
“Masturbation is basically the act of simulating the sex act which itself is only meant to father children. It is a sin to have sex without the intent of having children and of course it is a sin to masturbate, there is no question about that.”
You will, of course, present any and all bible tracts dealing with the subject. In all their glory, of course, and not taken out of context. Otherwise, you´d again be talking outta your ***.
The German Guy
IMPEACH BUSH!
Shelley, Have you never felt the need to “knock one out”?? Are you denying yourself the ability to feel good, to enjoy your body, for some book written centuries ago by some people who obviously weren’t getting enough themselves??
Maybe that explains this site. You’re not getting any and you’re taking out your frustrations on the easy targets.. Those who are different from you.
Go get laid, stroke yourself, use toys, use fruit, just for the love of all that is holy, do it woman!! with another woman if thats what gets your juices flowing.
Amazing article! Hillary-ous! It’s good to know that high quality writings are back…
Cheers,
shelley give me the chapter and the verse where it says according to the bible when god noticed onan masturbated.and don’t give me the answer that you don’t have to give proof cause you actually do. so please give me the chapter and the verse where it says that.
It’s very healthy, actually. If you don’t believe me, Ernest Borgnine tells us his secret:
http://www.chilloutzone.de/files/08081805.html
And this was on FOX…
Excuse me for a moment, I seem to be having an uncontrollable laughing fit…
You’ve run out of ideas and so you’re recycled old articles. Good one Shelley. I haven’t lost any respect for you because of this. /sarcasm
Jk. I didn’t have any fucking respect for you to begin with. DIAF, bitch!
If god wanted us to avoid masturbation he would do our hands shorter like the T-rex. OWNED
For me, masturbating is like sneezing - once I get the urge, I can’t stop. And sometimes I sneeze ten or twelve times a day. I know God is mad at me for constantly “manning the cockpit.” And I know Jesus and Ronald Reagan are watching me from Heaven. Why did God give me the ability to “spackle the ceiling” if it’s so bad?
Ok,my girlfriend who has a job in a certain field that will,at times,require this and she never had to much trouble effectively getting off by herself so just one more thing that shows you don’t know shit about anything.
Listen folks - do some research - This website is a parody - the people who run it are just like you and me - except they rip the piss out of dumbass right wing christians so subtely that even groovy right on people fall for it …so untwist youyr knickers - Shelley isnt real
It a joke…stand down…
Citing George Carlin:
“If God doesn’t want us to masturbate, He wouldn’t given such a long arms”
Actually, about the whole female masturbation thinger, there are only two effective ways for most women to masturbate and reach orgasm, fingers, and oral.
Might I also add that although over masturbation has many negative side effects (this is for males) like back ache, irritability, fatigue, and headaches, in mild amounts it can also boost health, it can increase the flow and use of testosterone and thus increase activity, it can release tension and stress, and also increase sexual drive (for those in healthy relationships of course). Masturbation is completely natural and is the normal way of releasing pent up sexual energy. In females as I said, it’s often the only way to reach orgasm as it is true that most men cannot satisfy most women unless you know exactly what needs to be done and the girl said man is with is one of the small percent that can orgasm during normal sexual intercourse. Finally here is the best reason to masturbate….. it feels good :P.
Hi - this japanese painting was made during the Edo periode (around 14th-17th century). The first European ships (dutch and portugese) came to this land of the rising sun and found a rich culture with a huge army. Impossible to conquer - so they tried to started trading with Japan and the Portugese tried to bring the Christian faith to this land (Jesuits) - but without success.
Small Christian communities appeared in Japan, near Nagasaki - but the Shogun ordered, to kill all japanese Christians and to throw out all white “longnoses”. He claimed, these people are uneducated and unhygienic.
This was during the Edo periode - at this time, in Japan they had more sexual freedom as Christians.
But in the mid 19th century Japan opened their doors again and the Christians criticized their free sexuality. Japan`s population changed and they began to live a life with stricter moral rules.
Historic paintings like this one above tells you nothing about people and their history - we all know, Japan is a rich and sucessful country. Also we had people who painted pictures like this one above.
By the way - permissive historic paintings like this one, we can find in the history of Iran, India, China…..
Now take a look to Iran, you can`t imagine, in the past they painted free sexual acts - now it is strictly forbidden - even by death.
We cannot mix historic paintings and compare it with people of today - it don`t works, every well educated individual knows it.
Peter Vienna
I know it’s a joke. It’s just so perfectly terrible. I respond anyway. Mostly to the comments. I would like to day though, I’m a female who lives in America, and I masturbate. Alot. Hey, at least I won’t get pregnant. You know though, maybe I’m not a true American, so that’s the problem. I lived in Germany for three years, and I know how evil Germans are. They must have infected me. Oh darn. I think I’ll just go maturbate my sadness away.
Your daughters assured you that they never masturbated.
(snicker snicker snicker) My guess is that if they become pregnant, you will believe it is the result of immaculate conception.
Hi - Masturbation is as old as the humankind. This article about masturbation is around 100 years old - it was written in the New England Medical Journal of Vermont. I was searching for this article in the web, after a long time I found out, this article is pretty old.
At this time people and their moral values were different as today. But it doesn`t mean, they had a better life. It was the era of my grandparents and your gg-parents.
80-100 years ago, as they wrote this article - all people in Europe and America were convinced that masturbation is dirty - just animals do that….and so on. This was the common meaning 100 years ago.
Since the mid 60ies the sex revolution began - it started in California - in the States - not in Europe! All these ideas of free sexuality appeared at the American Westcoast the first time and spread all over the globe. Contraceptive pill was obtainable all over the globe - since the mid 60ies.
However - every single physician will tell you, masturbation is not danger. Nearby 99% of the world population has experiences in masturbation. Especially in the army - in boarding schools and convents - masturbation is pretty common.
In my younger years I had no troubles with masturbation.
If you like to live a life without pleasure - ok, you can do what you like. But don`t tell to the people such fairy tales.
Peter Vienna
Well, after 44 years of it, I’m still healthy. And I had to wear spectacles before I started.
A guy I used to work with vehemently stated “I never do it”, saying that was what his wife was for. Mind you, he also told me “Never trust a woman.” He was fairly screwed up mentally. Presumably from not masturbating.
I don’t think Onan was killed after masturbating, but after using the withdrawal method of birth control, thereby failing to impregnate his dead brothers wife as required by Jewish Law. But possibly he was struck dead by his own wife for his attempt at fulfilling the law, somewhat half heartedly.
Anyway, You might want to read the bible before you quote it and otherwise attempt to get your facts straight.
if you are ment to father children mastubation makes it easyer because you are getting rid of the dead/old sperm cells making it the more likely you impregnate someone by the way that you worded your statement if you have sex and DONT have children … it must be wrong .. my advice is masturbate
I hadn’t heard that before shinziru, but it makes sense.
As far as I know, the testicles were designed to do a fairly good recycling job anyway. (yay for the green party!) Which is why one option for vasectomy is NOT tying off the production end of the vas tubes, just the exit route so to speak.
But your advice is well given and accepted. ;-)
For us Christians, I don’t care what majority of the world thinks.I am not even going to get to any bible references to explain this. He that has eyes let him see and he that has ears let him hear. God knows our every thought and knows what we are going to do on tuesday at 10.00am 59yrs from now(He will not be mocked). The truth remains the truth regardless of personal opinion. The fact is alot of people tend to try and bend the rules of God to suit their habits or fleshy desires. Masturbation is a sin. If you can’t control your sexual desires as a single individual and a married person go to surgery and have your penis and sex organs removed. There is no Liberalism when dealing with matters in the bible(Which are very well issues in life). We live for the sole purpose of glorifying God and nothing more. Common sense tells us now that masturbation has nothing whatsoever to do with glorifying God even with married men and women. Rather sex is a union which has one condition, which is “MAN AND WOMAN MUST BE UNITED IN ONE FLESH TO PRODUCE SEEDS TO HIS GLORY AND RAISE THE SEEDS TO GLORIFY HIS NAME”. Feel free to ask me any contradictory questions.
For Non believers, Atheists, and all scientists and so on I have this question for you all. How is it possible for a microscopic plant to grow by itself out of nowhere, no creation, in a planet that was created by the so called big bang. “Science is making such progress, Now I like you to define the term, DARKNESS and its components. For the light we claim to know so much about what makes it glow, I mean what are the building blocks of photons? If there is no creator define and explain how all these things came to be. If I get a lay man’s answer from all these things then I can probably buy the popular science theory of masturbation.
For Liberals. Feel free to ask me any questions regarding any doubts of the Most High’s universal supremecy and why his rules should be obeyed and i will use lay man’s terms to explain to u why?
This message was written in a hurry, so there might be spelling errors.
For christians. Must be united in His Name.
first of all
the bit about masturbation causing diseas is bullshit you made that up, biologists have PROVED that it prevents prostate cancer in men and helps stimulate the muscles in females
that and the bit about god killing somone for inventing masturbation
first of all masturbation was invented in the stonage its the most natural thing ever
second of all it doesnt say that anywhere in the bible
you my freind, are a faggot
HISTORY OF SEX
ANCIENT CHINA
Early Chinese Literature - 1500 BC to 770 BC
In early Chinese literature, sexual acts had metaphorical imagery. “Clouds” in literature referred to a woman’s ova and vaginal secretions. “Rain” referred to a man’s emission of semen.
Chou Dynasty - 770 BC to 222 BC
The Chou dynasty had a Taoist doctrine although Taoism
Relationships itself was not a formal religion yet. They divided men and women into the yin and the yang. Women were said to have an unexhaustable supply of yin
essence. While men had a limited supply of yang.
It was forbidden for men to use up their yang essence
without acquiring plenty of yin essence. That meant
that before a man was allowed to ejaculate, he had to
prolong it, making a woman orgasm several times to
acquire her yin essence. If a man ejaculated or used
up his yang essence without taking any yin essence
it was said to cause him health problems and even death.
Masturbation by men was seen as unhealthy and forbidden, for it was said to cause a complete loss of his vital yang essence. Women could masturbate freely as they were said to have an unlimited yin. Medical texts only warned women against masturbation with foreign objects which were believed to injure the womb and internal sexual organs. Nocturnal emissions or ‘wet dreams’ that men had were seen as a health problem for men.
During this time, female homosexuality was widespread, but male homosexuality was rare. Male homosexuality was
forbidden because it was considered a complete loss of yang essence on the part of both men. Meanwhile, since
women were said to have an unlimited yin essence, there was no loss of yin in female homosexual relations. Not until the Han dynasty did male homosexuality figures reach the same standard as among other societies.
At first, prostitution was accepted by the Chinese. Men thought that they could gain more yin from prostitutes than from normal women. They believed that since such women had sex with so many men, that they had acquired more yang essence from them, thus, they could give a patron more yang essence than he had lost. However, Chinese medicine began to identify prostitutes with many diseases at an early stage in human history and they began warning men against them.
Ch’in Dynasty - 221 BC to 24 AD
The Ch’in Dynasty shifted the Taoist culture to a Confucianist culture, which was completely different.
Women were placed in an inferior position to men. All physical contact between men and women was confined
to marriage and their bedroom or a couch. After leaving the bedroom or couch, there was to be no physical contact between husbands and wives. The sex act in itself was looked upon as a sort of sin by Confucianism. Sex was only for procreation and to provide a sacred family life.
Men were allowed to see concubines and there was an entire set of Confucianist rules for concubines, such as grooming rules. A man’s concubine was not allowed to stay in bed after the sex act if his wife was not present but the concubine had to leave. Even if the concubine was age 50, the man was supposed to have sex with his concubine every five days. During this time period, there were many sadistic relationship among the Ch’in dynasty families and many incestous relationships between close kin members of the dynasty.
Later Han Dynasty - 25 AD to 220 AD
With the Han Dynasty came the return of Taoist doctrines, only by this point in time, Taoism was now an organized religion with its own church and priests. New sexual texts began to surface such as The Handbook
of the Plain Girl and The Art of the Bedchamber. Both texts referred to a Yellow Emperor, who was attempting
to live a long, healthy life and obtain a form of immortality through sex. Emphasis was placed on breathing techniques during sex to prolong a man’s orgasm to make a woman orgasm several times to gain her yin essence.
New metaphors and symbolicism evolved in literature to show men and women and their sexuality. The color red
was female, a crucible, the ova, her cinnabar (vulva). The color white became symbolic of men and their semen.
The White Tiger was symbolic of men and the Green Dragon was symbolic of women.
Three Kingdoms & Six Dynasties - 221 AD to 590 AD
During this time frame there were many conflicts between different cultures and the ruling classes during the wars. There was intermixing between Taoist doctrines, Confucian doctrines and Buddhist doctrines.
Sui Dynasty - 590 AD to 618 AD
Once again, China returned to the Taoist doctrines and new sexual literature and manuals began to flourish.
Such texts included the following:
The Secret Methods of the Plain Girl
Handbook of Sex of the Dark Girl
Recipes of the Plain Girl
Secret Prescriptions for the Bedchamber
Principles of Nurturing
Ishimpo
Secrets of the Jade Chamber
Many of the texts continue the sexual instruction to the Yellow Emperor, trying to tell him how to obtain a long, immortal healthy life, by having many sexual relations with many women gaining their yin essence without expending his yang essence, or prolonging his orgasms/ejaculation. All of the texts are very detailed and each has unique sets of sexual positions with animal-like names for each individual sex position. Sex was seen as a cure-all for every
health ailment that a man had, and different sexual positions were given as prescriptions to cure these ailments.
References at the Website
Also stop believe what all the stupid western medical doctors be saying all this crap about masturbating is SAFE, its NOT. In fact its much healthier to not Masturbate and do meditation or Yoga and harnest those energy and not waste them. You will DIE early in LIFE if you keep draining your ENERGY like that
How come people who are Taoism or Taoist live VERY VERY LONG AGE? and they never masturbate, and all they do is Meditate and harnest the ENERGY rather than masturbating and wasting all that energy. Thats why when you masturbate you will feel tired because your energy was DRAINED. You guys should really look into TAOIST and TAOISM and learn to find a a MORE peaceful LIFE than to masturbate all day.
You guys could learn a LOT if you look into OLD chinese Medicines and Practices.
You guys do know that CHINESE Ancient MEDICINES made from mixing different types of HERBS is way BEYONG and more mature than MODERN science?
EVEN todays Medical researchers are beginning to see the POWER of the CHINESE Medicine of HERBS and many MEDICAL researchers are doing HEAVY research on chinese Medicines to find whats the Active ingredients inside those medicines that are used to treat deseases or illnesses.
Many Modern medicines cromes from old knowledge about certain plants and this and that and the scientist do research on such plants and found cures for this and that
Ancient Knowledge knows more than you HUMANS know right now
Ancients are not DUMB, in fact their more smart than i call Modern Scientist today.
Masturbating is BAD, it will drain your energy and you will live a shorter LIFE
Once your BODY will slow in production of energy and your becoming weaker your going to DIE early in life. DONT TRUST ME? then lets put your life and bet on it. Lets test it with your LIFE in the line and see if your going to age faster.
@Nnamdi fuck you and fuck christianity.
in the words of my fellow STR basher whattheheck
Fuck The Rapture
Mastubation is bad……
For me, it cause us to sin. God’s see our daily doing whether in the public or in the private. For we all know the God is omnipresent.
He doesn’t allow His children to commit sin. For God said the looking with a lust with one another committed adultery within his heart.
IF GOD DID NOT WANT US TO MASTERBATE HE WOULDN’T HAVE GIVEN US LONG ARMS. THE BIBLE IS FAKE(mostly), GET A LIFE AND LET YOUR DAUGHTERS PLEASE THEMSELVES AS THEY WANT!!!!!
RELIGION IS THE DUMBEST FUCKING SHIT EVER INVENTED IN THE WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING PLANET WHICH WE CALL EARTH