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Sunday Prayer – Thank you Lord

Dear Lord

Thank you for sending all them sinners to our website! You invented the earth and you made America. No wonder you are also the greatest IT-professional that every lived. People that search for “gay sex pictures” or “kiddy porn” or “satanism” will sent to ShelleyTheRepublican instead of their preferred filth-websites and we at ShelleyTheRepublican are showing them sinners the light, leading the way to a Godly lifestyle.

Thank you dear Lord.

Amen

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The Song Of Solomon Exposed!

Proof of just how far Liberals will go to destroy public morality and how the Concerned Majority must FIGHT BACK!

Liberals are a minority, but that doesn?t stop them spreading their disease just everywhere, eating up our country like a cancer on a lung. When I see Liberal filth like The Jon Stewart show and Fox News on our televisions every day, when I see Michael Moore in our nations? bookstores and in our cinemas, when I realise that Satan?s paper The New York Times is available in just about every town in our great land, I?m taken to the borders of despair. I?m brought back only by the love of Jesus Christ and the knowledge that none of this rubbish will make it to heaven. I?m also made stronger because of the realization that good patriots like Ann Coulter and our own Shelley, Tristan, Michael and Barbara are fighting back against this plague.

But the fight is hard and our enemy is as cunning as Stalin, Chairman Mao, Hitler, Hirohito and Bill Clinton combined. It is just amazing how low these Liberals will go to degrade the national discourse. Truly amazing. What I am going to say now will amaze and horrify all Christian Americans truly and I urge readers at this point to take a deep breath and prepare themselves for a terrible shock.

This is how low liberals have gone They have defiled the Holy Bible. I feel sick even typing it. The Holy Bible!

The Bible

The Holy Bible. Is nothing sacred? Not according to Liberal porn trolls!

The Bible is perfect in every way. It’s authorship a divine miraculous mystery. Every word of the Bible is God’s own words. We know this because the Bible tells us so. And why would God ever lie about a thing like that? (That?s logic, Liberals, read it and weep!) The words of the Bible need not be interpreted they are direct and unambiguous orders from our Lord, unchanged forever.

It is all the knowledge you need in life. The only guide and staff that can ever matter. Real truth rather than the junk science faith of Godless liberals.

And that?s why liberals hate it and that?s why they?ve been running a centuries?-long campaign to discredit it.

?How have they done this?? I hear you ask.

The answer is so far beyond the pale of decency I barely know how to express it.

The Liberals have somehow managed to sneak a troll book into the Holy Book. That?s right! They?ve sneaked Satan?s words into the Word Of God. They have defiled the Bible.

I?m talking about the Song Of Solomon. This shameful ?poem? is included in all modern Bibles as if it is a book from the Old Testament, but The Song Of Solomon is not God?s word. The proof for this is simple and obvious. The Song Of Solomon is disgusting.

Disgusting filth from the devil's book

The Song Of Solomon.

Christians may want to skip the next few paragraphs of filth, although I include only the lightest material from this hard-nasty-porn troll book.

If you do want to get an idea of the extent of the evil, read this:

Your twin breasts are like two fawns,
Twins of a gazelle,
Which feed among the lillies.”

And this:

I have taken off my robe,
How can I put it on again?”

And this:

?When I found the one I love.
I held him and would not let him go,
Until I had brought him to the house of my mother,
And into the chamber of her who conceived me.”

And worst of all, this:

How fair is your love,
My sister, my spouse!”

If this incitement to incest isn?t the Devil?s Work, I don?t know what is! (By the way, Liberal readers, before you get clever, I do know what the Devil?s work is and that?s why I?m a Republican not a Democ-rat).

This disgusting rubbish has clearly been placed in the Holy Of Holies by crypto-liberal-porn-trolls.

The question that has been troubling me is, how? To answer this I have had to do some serious historical research.

At first I wondered if, like most bad things, this book had been somehow created in the 1960s and slipped into the modern Bible by pot-smoking hippies, but reference to my grand-poppy?s family Bible soon dispelled that notion.

I won?t bore you with the details of the rest of my endeavors, suffice to say that I had to go further and further back in time, uncovering generations of Liberal deceit along the way. I was eventually faced with the horrible knowledge that for even longer than our Great Nation has been in existence, Liberals have been trying to corrupt public morality.

My search eventually took me back to the Fifteenth Century and to that den of vice that is Europe. There I discovered that a well-known pornographer called Caxton invented a (very unimpressive) printing press (which was naturally, nothing like as good as the ones we have in America now) in the year 1450 in England. He used this press to distribute filth like an utterly immoral book called ?The Canterbury Tales? and other such indecent works that seemed to delight his faggot Limey readership.

William Caxton

William Caxton, The Fifteenth Century Larry Flynt. Shame on him!

Caxton also began printing Bibles, which up until that point in time had been safely kept in the hands of Holy Monks and only written in Latin, since that was the language of God at the time and so that liberals would be unable to read it (since they were too stupid). Caxton, however, seized the opportunity. Because he was the first person who was going to widely distribute the Bible, he realized that this was his chance to corrupt it. He had to be subtle since he knew that if he wasn?t the monks would catch him out, so he just sneakily slipped the Song Of Solomon into an obscure part of the Old Testament (reasoning that only the best Christians read this part of the Bible and that since all the monks were tainted by being Europeans, not even they would bother).

By the time it was noticed that this Devil Book had been included in the Good Book, it was too late. It was hundreds of years later and Caxton and his cronies had printed so many copies of their version that they far outnumbered the originals. Rather than go through correcting their mistake and going to the expense and trouble of burning thousands of Bibles and creating new ones, the lazy Europeans decided on a cover up…

That?s right, they just tried to pretend that the Song Of Solomon had been in the Bible all along.

And so it was that this foul salacious porn-sex-filth was enabled to enter every decent American home.

God's mission

But now, with the help of God, and ShelleyTheRepublican.com I understand that it is OUR MISSION as God-fearing Americans to finally remove this abomination. It?s God?s will.

Let me explain.

God controls everything, so it must have been Him who first enabled the Song Of Solomon to enter His book. Liberals are cunning, but they can?t deceive our Lord. It was his plan to let the book sneak in through Caxton?s printing presses.

Why would He do this?

To test us.

To test us in the same way as he sent his only son Jesus Christ down to earth to die and allowed crazed oral-sex-fiend Bill Clinton into the White House. After Jesus came true religion. After Bill Clinton came George W Bush. After we remove the Song Of Solomon, what blessings will God bestow on us?

I think the removal of that vile book may be the event that could even bring on The End Times and finally wipe the Liberal scourge from the earth.

I for one vote that we get out our scissors and see!

The Last Judgement

The End Times. I can’t wait!

May God Bless You All,

Sam Johnston

Post Script

By coincidence good Christian STR supporter Richard 23 got in touch on my weblog and posted this link:

http://www.book22.com/merchant2/

That’s the kind of smut that the Song Of Solomon justifies. If that’s not taking God’s name in vain I don’t know what is. Thank you Richard, I am always most impressed by your diligence and simple, pure faith.

Image sources:
Caxton: http://www.hrc.utexas.edu/
The Bible: www.daily-bible.com (Wholly Holy!)
Sample page from the song of songs: http://www.yaronlivay.com
End Times: http://www.wga.hu

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Shelley The Republican : For God, America and George W. Bush