Archive for the 'Entertainment' Category
The Sodomite’s Lament
Folks,
listen to the most beautiful song ever written.
Billy Bob Neck ? The Sodomite’s Lament
Yours,
Shelley N. Goodman
A Website That Won’t Make You Vomit
Just about every time you go on the internets you get bombarded with explicit pornography. Yesterday, I did a search on “Jesus, I need you” and a whole bunch of pictures popped up that surely came from the Devil himself - foul, disgusting pictures filled with nudity and perversions that only a deviant like Richard Dawkin could imagine.
But like Jesus says - ask and ye shall receive! Just as I was ready to chuck my computer into the sinkhole in my backyard, I got a email on the Christian Newswire about a new website that’s gonna bring family values back to the World Weary Web.
Christian Family Tube ain’t only a good name for a website but it don’t make no bones about what it’s about. Good, faithful Christians tried like anything to make YouTube a decent place for decent folks but instead they feature hardcore pornograpy, Wiccan ceremonies and Darwinists. But God don’t lay down for that kinda thing for long. He put the Spirit to work and now Christians finally got a good place to go.
Christian Family Tube ain’t just about tubes, though. Sure, they got some real good videos that’ll tickle everybody’s funny bone while providing a good strong family message
I hope you’ll stop by and support this site cuz we Christians need all the help we can get!
God is Love!
BBN
www.billybobneck.com
STR EXCLUSIVE : THE AVERAGE HOMEBOY - DENNY “BLAZIN’” HAZEN
Dear Readers
I am honored to present to you this short and exclusive interview with one of my favorite artists, Denny Blaze. I hope you’ll appreciate this completely non-political article, here on STR, the Freedom Blog.
STR: Denny, thanks so much for talking to us. We at ShelleyTheRepublican were quite thrilled that you agreed to this interview.
DENNY: Thank you for your interest in me and my music. I appreciate the coverage.
STR: As you might be aware of, STR : The Freedom Blog is a Christian conservative project. We dedicate your work to the Lord Jesus Christ and try to present a deeply religious viewpoint. Let me come right out and ask you: Do you believe in God and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior?
DENNY: Yes, I am a Christian. My favorite scripture is John 3:16.
STR: A good friend of mine sent me the link to your youtube video in which you perform as the Average Homeboy. I fell in love with the video right away. There is a certain quality to it that is extremely appealing to me. I must say I am deeply impressed by the dedication and passion you presented. It makes me extremely sad that you didn’t get any significant recognition up until so many years later. How did it make you feel?
DENNY: I’ve seen many major record labels use my ideas in their material. That was disappointing. Though, I enjoy making music. So, I just kept making more and more material. It does feel good to finally have my material being downloaded around the world. My most exciting music moment (so far) is…when I was standing in Times Square in New York City when we were making the recording for the Vh1 TV Show, “The Top 40 Internet Super Stars.” New York is such a powerful city, and I was thankful for Vh1 to give me recognition.
STR: In the iTunes store there is the old as well as a new version of the average homebody for sale. I bought the old one, but not the new one. I have to admit that I like the original much more. The new version is too diluted by fancy background voices. To be honest I wish you would have been more loyal to the original concept. Your thoughts?
DENNY: The original keyboard version of Average Homeboy does seem to be more popular on iTunes. I think that version has a comical appeal to it since it was made so long ago. Most younger people don’t understand the technology from the time period when Average Homeboy was made. It was recorded with nothing more than a keyboard sample beat and a microphone that went into a cassette recorder. There were no CDs back then, and I didn’t edit the song at all. I just pressed “play and record” and went one time through. Also, there was no Internet back then.
STR: There are certain lines in the lyrics of the Average Homeboy song that could be considered slightly “racist”. Quote: “I don’t live in a box - nor was I raised on the street - as you can see - I’m not black - I don’t do drugs and I’m not on crack”. I personally believe that you are accurate and fair saying that, but did hateful liberals ever accuse you of insinuating that Negroes take drugs and are raised on the street?
DENNY: Anybody who knows me…would laugh at that. I judge people individually. There are good AND bad white people. There are good AND bad black people. You probably noticed that my friend Jeff, who happens to be black, was featured in The Average Homeboy video. Still, at the time when I made Average Homeboy, there weren’t really any white solo artists who were making rap videos. Even today, the few white rappers who made it to the major record labels, don’t share my middle class perspective. There has always been a ghetto and gangsta appeal to rap music, and I’m neither of those. I’m an educated, middle class guy…who likes to rap. You don’t have to be “Riding Dirty” to like rap music, and I don’t “Ride Dirty,” lol. I don’t smoke, drink, or do any kind of drugs. Really, if your are not “Riding Dirty” in the first place, then, the police or anybody else…won’t catch you “Riding Dirty.”
STR: I imagine it must be incredibly hard to become successful in the music industry. Are you still hopeful it will happen for you? What are your plans for the future? How can your fans support your efforts?
DENNY: With all of the amazing technological advances, the music industry is rapidly changing. I’m a perfect example of it. These days, via the internet, you can get your material out to the masses instantly, and consumers aren’t going out to the record stores as much. With “File Transfers” you don’t even need a physical product. I think that “Success” is being able to do…what you love to do. I’m very blessed to be able to do that. Currently, I’m still working on smoothing out my rapping, ha ha. I’m also working on another CD project, and I’ve been contacted by a few television and movie producers. Hopefully, you’ll be seeing The Average Homeboy on Network TV again and on The Big Screen. I keep all of my friends and fans updated on my website: dennyblaze.com . My CDs and DVDs are available there, and I have all kinds of merchandise such as: T-Shirts and Ringtones!
STR: Let me close this interview with a nonsensical question: Do you still eat Froot Loops?
DENNY: Yes, I love all kinds of cereal. There’s no doubt that Froot Loops are my favorite.
STR: Is there anything else you like to add?
DENNY: Thank you for sharing my story, and I hope that your readers will just be BLAZED!
STR: Once more, thanks so much for taking the time to answer my questions, Denny. It has been a privilege. Please keep in touch.
Denny Blazin’, the Average Homeboy, Ladies and Gentleman. Please support him by visiting his website, rating his amazing video on youtube or, even better, buying his music on iTunes.
God bless you. Thanks for reading,
Shelley N. Goodman
Heavy Metal : Ultimate Decay of Morals
Friends
Is there music that is sicker than the so called “Heavy Metal” music? Heavy Metal basically consists of hateful lyrics that are screamed and wrapped into unbearable noise guitar and drum sounds. No notes, no sense, no human dignity.
In my new role as substitute teacher in my local high school i recently came across a boy with incredible anti-social behavior. After inquiring what could cause that kind of Ungodly behavior I noticed the music he listens to. Among others he had a CD from “Sentenced” in his backpack.
Oh my Lord. I don’t think I have never read worse lyrics. It’s simply appaling!
Quote:
We’re not done, I will hunt you down
One by one… I’ll blow you all to hell!
For you faceless, nameless cowards cannot hide
The day of reckoning will arriveI have dreams of hammering your skulls
Fantasies of bashing in your brains
Obsessively… I am watching, I am stalking, I am following
And then the massacre begins
Is it any wonder that this young child has wondered so farm from the way to Godliness?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=1DVDQwkYRCk (Embedding disabled by request)
I urge you to contact your representative today and urge him or her to bring forward legislation to outlaw Heavy Metal music!
We can not allow this filthy bands to destroy our social fabric. They caused too much harm already. Timothy Mc’Veh listened to Heavy Metal and so did the shooters at Columbine. Enough is enough!!!
Thanks for reading,
Shelley N. Goodman
WiFi: Our Technological Nightmare
Friends,
Are you as concerned as I about a brand-new technology called “WiFi” which might already be harming our kids. Instead of using traditional cables and telephone lines, WiFi, puts the Internet into radio-signals beamed far above our heads, but what happens when something goes wrong?
A Wi-Fi base-station is more-usually called an ‘airport’, the first ever Airport was made by Apple computer because they needed a more effective method of distributing liberal pro-abortion videos around their Cupertino campus. According to leading scientists, having an Airport in your home could expose your children to harmful radiation.
If you stand too close to a WiFi transmitter, instead of bouncing harmlessly off the stratosphere, the signal can go directly through you, a hazard completely undocumented and denied by WiFi manufacturers. This radiation can be almost entirely eliminatd by placing the Airport in a fully-enclosing lead box, however after countless hours of searching for this sensible safety device, we have yet to find a single retailer brave enough to stock this product. Perhaps this is an opportunity for the rapidly-expanding Christian-retail sector to exploit?
Even if you manage to shield yourself from the dangerous WiFi radiation, leading family groups are becoming concerned that WiFi has no content filtering standard. A WiFi connection literally imposes no restrictions on what kids are allowed to download.
Case in point, the new OLPC - a communist vision of WiFi enabled computing came without any content filtering. As a result, the African children who were to be the first unlucky recipients of these computers soon found them overwhelmed by porn and viruses.
When African evangelicals called to ask what to do with OLPC laptops which have been corrupted by pornography, my simple advice was to burn every affected device, plus any that may have been within WiFi - range of infected machines. I explained that porn is like a virus and WiFi provides unlimited means of infection. Sadly the children are now without their laptops, but on the positive side, none of them will ever again be subjected to the temptation of an unfiltered WiFi connection.
Since these computers were too underpowered to run a modern operating system, they had no choice but to but to burn these hazardous machines and wait until Jesus saw fit to give them enough money to afford a full-sized computer running the state-of-the-art Windows Vista.
Jack Thompson, a leading expert in video-game violence and pornography: He has fought and won many battles against the liberal media who are desperate to corrupt your children with obscene games like “Hot Coffee”. Today he is helping concerned parents fight against the WiFi menace, which sneaky video-game manufacturers have put into games-consoles and even toys!
To find out more about this troubling technology, I asked Jack Thompson, a senior fellow of the STR institute, and one of America’s leading campaigners for family morality: Thompson invited me to his “crime-lab” where he would put on a demonstration:
I asked Jack to outline a worst-case scenario - just how dangerous could this WiFi be? The results were shocking: He demonstrated a normal looking Windows laptop, however one which secretly had been equipped with an Airport-Extreme chip. Jack explained that it was not possible to remove the WiFi from this laptop because it has been built into the computer’s mother-board.
Next he carefully switched on an ‘airport’: He explained that in certain cities one would not even need to switch such a device on, because their incredible 50 mile range would ensure that just about every kid in America was in range of one of these evil devices without parental knowledge.
Once the private domain of sinister closet-dwelling liberals, the growth of WiFi means that they can bring their obscene pornography into any location. This liberalwas caught teaching children how to surf for porn in a high-school playground.
Finally, he demonstrated that with a few simple key-presses and mouse clicks he had managed to connect the laptop to some kind of gay-porn server. Within minutes he had downloaded what appears to be hours of disgusting hard-core homosexual pornography. I was almost sick over the laptop, watching the sodomites guarantee their place in hell. Later Jack explained that as we were standing directly between the Airport and his laptop the gay-porn was actually traveling through us. Then I really was sick. And after I had cleared up, Jack and I prayed in the name of Jesus to save America from this evil.
I believe that Jack’s demonstration could not have been more persuasive: Under the Clinton government, valuable radio-frequencies were just given away to Apple for their Airports. Jack believes this is unlawful, which is why we are forced to take the FCC to court. Jack hasdiligently forwarded all of the homosexual filth-porn to the court as part of out initial filing. This is evidence that I expect will be as persuasive to the judge as it was to me.
Yours in Christ,
Tristan J. Shuddery
1 commentChristian Compassion for Britney Spears
My dear friends,As STR.com becomes ever more popular, we keep on looking for new ways to inform and entertain our audience. We also look for new ways to draw lessons about Jesus’ truth from all aspects of life in this Great Nation, America. That’s why we have enlisted the help of a new entertainment correspondent, the talented and wonderful Stacey Jacks, to provide enlightened commentary from the world of glitz and glamour. Let’s not forget that Jesus was A-list too!
Okay Stacey. Over to you. May God Bless this new enterprise!
Sam Johnston
Well Howdy Y’all,
That’s right. Jesus loves us all to shine! And there are none more shining than the celebrities! I start this new column on a sad note, however. Because one of our greatest entertainers is struggling. Please readers, say a prayer for Britney and hold it in your heart to pity her as you read on.
Those of you who follow the news won’t have been able to help seeing the terrible things that are being said about Britney Spears in this week of the anniversary of so many deaths on 9/11.
That’s right. Instead of remembering our dead and those grieving corpses that were flung to their fiery doom by the evil of Islam, the liberal secular humanist media prefers to turn its focus onto that great struggling American Britney Spears.
Liberals hate this performance by Britney Spears. Is it because she looks so damn hawwwwt and reminds them how far from nature their own homosexual pretences are? Wouldn’t you prefer to nuzzle up to one of those glorious, those lovely soft, those glistening titties to a horrible furry man chest? I know I would!
Please! Leave Britney alone. Have some Christian Compassion, America.
This Christian has it in her heart to pity poor struggling Britney. Why don’t you? Please forgive her filthy language, by the way. The poor girl is clearly upset.
Stacey Jacks
STR.com entertainment correspondent.
*By Jesus! Do you deny him?
21 commentsParenting Alert: 2nd Life
Friends,
The original, “Half-life” was a flawed yet somewhat critically acclaimed series of video games. They portrayed a distopian vision of a mid-tribulation America: While many found it’s themes excessively fantastical, quite a few of my friends including an NRA spokeman very highly of this graphically intense shooter.
The game primarily follows the adventures of a young Christian physics-professor called Gordon Sumner who has to fight his way out of a military research-base which has been corrupted by liberal bad-science. The original game series stood as a powerful metaphor: Just what would the world be like if the liberals had their way.
The game’s detractors pointed out that it’s graphics were primitive by the day’s standards and it’s plot was ludicrous - however it’s producers Linden Labs had developed something rare in the world of video games; a hit formula.
Why then did they choose to abandon this for their sequel “Second Life”, which trades assault-rifles for sexual promiscuity, drug-abuse and a general dis-respect for God’s law?
“King Rudi” is the omniscient ruler of 2nd life’s slum-town the central district where all new players receive their initial training. Somewhat like the popular crime-simulator “Grand Theft Auto”, the player who continues the role of Half-Life’s Gordon Sumner is compelled to perform a series of missions for the disembodied Rudi-head in the sky.
According to the flimsy back-story provided by Linden Labs - their newest game is supposed to represent a liberal “heaven” - in which there are no rules and anybody can live wherever or however they like without fear of consequence. It’s plainly clear that this “heaven” is really what you or I would call hell:
One of 2nd life’s “educational” exhibits. The child is introduced to the many forms of cocaine. In a virtual chemistry lab your daughter is taught how to “cut” the drug with crystal-meth and then earns bonus-points for “snorting” the substance or “pushing” the drug to other 2nd life players.
In this game sexual relationships are not confined to married heterosexual couples - Linden has unilaterally decided that anybody can have sex with anybody else. What to have sex with another man? How about an animal? What about a table or a lamp? Whatever you want any kind of promiscuity is just a mouse-click away.
No Americans or church-leaders were consulted when defining the rules of this virtual-world, despite the fact that Linden’s game servers are entirely located within the USA. Linden is clearly violating both state and federal law by encouraging homosexual-marriage and prostitution in their highly addictive game.
There is so much obscene sexual content in this game, I wonder just how Linden labs managed to create it all. Virtualy every corner of the world is full of perverted content. It’s like stepping into a the world’s biggest brothel:
Unicorns are one of the most mysterious of the creatures described in the Holy Bible, they are enchanting creatures beloved of our children, however any child who sets foot in this virtual “statue-park” will find themselves brutally sodomized by a sex-crazed monster. Young girls who submit to this defilement are rewarded by birthing a “baby unicorn”. This is only one of the ways that 2nd life encourages kids into a life of fornication and bestiality.
Linden Labs are using their 2nd life project as a “test-bed” to for how the Democrats will run America if they are elected: They will use the virtual world of 2nd-life land to perfect their evil techniques of social control in order to destroy your family and turn your kids gay. This sort of thing is the kind of experiment you might expect to be popular amongst ultra-liberal think-tanks, but sadly 2nd life is a game, and like all video games it is aimed exclusively at your kids.
STR Fact File: What is a Role Playing Game? RPGs like second-life immerse the unwary user in an ultra-realistic fantasy world where their every carnal desire can come true. Liberals who are uncomfortable with their gender, or even their species can adopt a character or “avatar” of a different race or even gender, thus a homosexual male player might wish to play a female dog instead of a male human. Is it any wonder that liberals are confused?
Imagine if your kids had been lured onto this site by the brightly-colored Disney-style graphics. One minute they are playing an amusing game with colored bricks and chatting amongst their friends - the next minute their “avatar” has been abducted and forced into a form of slave prostitution unique to the world of second-life.
Once children are sucked into the 2nd life-underworld they are equipped with a criminal training that will equip them for all kinds of “liberal” careers such as drug-pushing, pimping, and man-whoring.
Mere footsteps from virtual skid-row we find Hillary Clinton’s virtual palace. It is rumored that she co-ordinates her “virtual campaign” from this cyber-hub which resembles a gaudy Vegas brothel, except without a single visitor. Just like in real-life the Hillary campaign is utterly deserted.
Al Gore once boasted about how he invented the Internet and coined the term “cyberspace”. If there is any truth in this statement, it is clear that the cyberspaces of today are exact models of the kinds of civilization that the Democrat party desire to build in place of America. They desire a world without childhood innocence, and where the sacrifices of the thousands who died in 9/11 and our brave soldiers who fought Saddam in Iraq and Afghanistan will be for nothing.
If you value your children and their future as Americans, please send em your comments, prayers, donations and support. Together we can help get 2nd life shut down.
Yours in Christ,
Tristan J. Shuddery
37 commentsToday’s young people
My dear friends,
Please don’t watch this video. It is disgusting.
At least these people aren’t black and shooting each other all the time so they can sell crack, but that is about all you can say about their morals. That pure American girl should be ashamed of herself while that European is just predictably disgusting. What kind of world is it where an English pervert can destroy the virtue of one of our American flowers?
For shame! This is exactly the kind of thing that happens when you don’t properly educate young people in the love of Jesus and let them go on that most disgusting Democ-rat institution ‘Spring break’ rather than to Jesus camp.
To waste more words on it would be to give it exposure that it just doesn’t deserve. Please. Ask your local Wal-Mart manager not to stock this filth. It will destroy the minds of our nation.
May God Bless you all, or send you straight to hell, to each as he deserves,
Sam Johnston
26 commentsThe Two Sides of Harry Potter
Friends,
Our in-boxes were full of emails from our loyal readers complaining that Billy had not told the truth when we revealed our “exclusive” of the final chapter of J. K. Rowling’s latest Harry Potter book. Having read the book I can confirm that we did not get the final chapter 100% accurate, however our speculation was considerably more accurate than other ultra-liberal sources such as Huffington Post and Slate Magazine. According to our trusted source, the reason for the error is that Rowlings‘ secularist publisher insisted on removing any Christian content from the book at the last minute before publication.
STR was the only web-site able to give you the unadulterated text, exactly as the author intended. I regard this as a major journalistic victory for ShelleyTheRepublican.com, and a victory for Christians who must constantly struggle against a secularizing media, hell-bent on turning our kids into sex-maniacs.
Keep reading STR.com for the truth about Harry Potter and the threat to America from paganism, witchcraft, wica and other forms of satanism.
I’d also like to address another aspect of the Harry Potter controversy. Clearly some people have reasonable grounds to suggest that Harry Potter may be opening our kids to the very real danger of the occult:
Last week our friends at Crosstalk dedicated an entire show to some of the negative aspects of this series, particularly the potential for harm if kids without the spiritual armor of Jesus are allowed to read it. We are very aware of the dangers of exposing kids to occult themes, and naturally we feel that parents who allow their children to read Harry Potter should do so under careful supervision and ensure that it is balanced with a few hours a day memorizing bible verses.
Please take a moment to listen to this audio-presentation on the dangers of Harry Potter:
However having read the latest book in the potter series, I find it to be an unambiguous endorsement of Republican values such as the need to fight Evil in whatever form it takes: The character of “Lord Voldermort” is based closely on the life of Hillary Clinton. Harry’s personal struggle against Voldemort is clearly intended to resemble the struggle we all suffer against a secular culture of death that denies our spirituality.
Who’s worse? Hillary Clinton or evil-sorcerer Voldemort? In 2008 Americans will have a chance to decide, but clearly J. K. Rowling has used her final as a sobering warning against Defeat-ocrat complacency.
The “Death Eaters”, the heartless gang of killers that supports the evil antagonist is clearly intended to represent the Daily-Kossacs. Rowling portrays these as a heartless gang of magic-wielding thugs, so clearly reminiscent of the hordes of liberal bloggers who are so keen to abuse the Internet (and American invention) to unfairly criticize our Christian leader and undermine our war-effort.
The dishonest journalist “Rita Skeeter” is an unambiguous satire of the mainstream media that has mis-represented our conservative values. Rita’s articles provide a moment of levity, but it’s clear to see where Rowling stands on left-wing abuses of journalistic freedom. She is speaking out against a biased press who like nothing more than to trash the reputations of the real heroes: Christians like George W. Bush and our loyal STR readers.
STR Fact File: Teens who have read the Harry Potter books are 20% more likely to have experimented with psychic or occult phenomena such as ouja-boards or curses. Are your kids communing with the devil via witchcraft?
It’s also worth pointing out that in the final section of the book, we can see that Potter renounces his magic. Lasting peace only comes to him when he puts aside his magical ways and accepts traditional family values, the basis upon which our society is built.
I think we need to take a fair and balanced side to the Harry Potter stories and tell both sides of this controversial issue. Is this book a dangerous slippery pathway to the occult or a ringing endorsement of family-values and our need to remain resolute in the war on terror?
What do you think?
Tristan
PS. If you want to learn more about both-sides of the Harry Potter controversy, please encourage your kids and family to read Shelley The Republican’s research-collection. We are the only site that guarantees completely fair and balanced coverage of this important issue.
48 commentsApology To J. K. Rowling
Christianity, unlike most of the other religions of the world, contains a built-in virtue that is so ubiquitous that it rarely gets mentioned:? Humility.? Easton’s 1897 Bible dictionary defines humility thusly:
a prominent Christian grace (Rom. 12:3; 15:17, 18; 1 Cor. 3:5-7; 2 Cor. 3:5; Phil. 4:11-13). It is a state of mind well pleasing to God (1 Pet. 3:4); it preserves the soul in tranquillity (Ps. 69:32, 33), and makes us patient under trials (Job 1:22). Christ has set us an example of humility (Phil. 2:6-8). We should be led thereto by a remembrance of our sins (Lam. 3:39), and by the thought that it is the way to honour (Prov. 16:18), and that the greatest promises are made to the humble (Ps. 147:6; Isa. 57:15; 66:2; 1 Pet. 5:5). It is a “great paradox in Christianity that it makes humility the avenue to glory.”
A more secular definition reads:
the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance, rank, etc.
All of this is to say that when a Christian is wrong, he apologizes.? This stands in marked contrast to Muslims, for example, who have yet to apologize for allowing their religion to lead them down a path to Islamo-Fascist terrorism.? Indeed, Christians welcome the chance to correct their wrongs.? It provides them an opportunity to engage, as Christ did, in metaphorical feet-washing which you can only imagine provides a humbling effect.
Therefore, the writers and staff of STR embrace the opportunity to apologize to J. K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter books.?
Firstly, we apologize for getting the name wrong.? Due to a summertime reduction in staff, the recent articles by Billy Bob Neck were perhaps not as stringently fact-checked as most of our articles are.? For this, we apologize.
Before the second apology, a brief bit of background.? It was recently announced that the full text of the last Harry Potter book found its way onto the internet.? This was only half true.? A bit of digging revealed that the text released turned out to be a fake.? We know this to be true since that last portion of the book was released to us and it bore no relation whatsoever to the book released yesterday.
Now for the second apology.
We apologize to J. K. Rowling for any and all insinuations that she was, is or has ever considered being a Satanist.? I’m sure that as she planned the books she knew the danger she faced from Christians and it is an act of bravery that she stuck to her guns.? What she produced in the end is nothing more that one of the most satisfying examples of Christian literature to be written in quite some time.? We are humbled.
Before the readership protests that we are breaking the law by publishing the final pages of the last Henry Potter book, be rest assured that as a vocal?critic of the series and an influential Christian website?we have been given a waiver in order to spread the word that this series redeems itself in a way almost unimaginable to the human mind.
If you would rather wait until Saturday, then you should read no further.? Otherwise, be prepared to have your breath taken away and your faith in Jesus strengthened, restored or both.
God bless you!
_______________________________________________________________
The courtyard of Hogwarts lay littered with the broken bodies of students and teachers.? Harry?s mind cast back to his first year and found this new tableau as unfamiliar now as it did when he first arrived.? This Hogwarts, charred and broken, smelling of death, was not the school he knew.? And the man responsible for it stood before him with his wand pointed at Harry?s heart.
?Harry Potter,? Voldemort?s thin high voice rang out in triumph, ?I would not count on another escape, if I were you.? You have come to the end of your usefulness, Harry.?
Harry, dazed and bruised, struggled to make sense of Voldemort?s words.? Usefulness?? What did that mean: usefulness?? Had he, Harry, been only a pawn in some game that he was completely unaware of?
?Yes, Harry,? whispered Voldemort, ?a pawn.? And yes, I can read your thoughts Harry, just as clearly as I feel Miss Granger about to sneak up behind me ? AVADA KEDAVRA!?? Voldemort spun quickly around, his wand shooting a single green ball of light that hit Hermione squarely in the chest.? Before Harry could say anything, she crumpled to the ground as if deflating quickly.? Harry raised his wand only to find it flying from his hand and caught by Voldemort.
?Why so hateful, Harry,? oozed Voldemort, ?Not loved enough as a child by your parents, Harry?? Oh.? That?s right.? I killed them, didn?t I?? And I?m about to kill you Harry.? Have you made yourself ready for death?? Oh.? Yes.? You want to know why you?re a pawn.? I could care less about you.? You?re a flea on a tick, as far as I?m concerned.? However, others cared very much about you.? They?ve gone to extremes that I never thought them capable of.? Oh, I had a sense that idiot Dumbledore would sacrifice himself and die for you, but to actually do it?? Killing Dumbledore will go down as my greatest triumph!?? Voldemort let out a hideous shriek of laughter.? ?No, Harry, you mean nothing.? I made the Ministry of Magic believe that I wanted you simply as a means to destroy the Ministry of Magic.? And I have done that.? The social fabric of the wizarding community is ripped to shreds.? Not even Dumbledore could stitch it together again.?
Harry stumbled backwards falling over the head of gargoyle that fell from the tower.? He looked and saw the stone grin frozen for all eternity on its face.? Eternity, Harry thought.? Well, I?m not just going to let him kill me that easily. I?ll ?
?No you won?t, Harry,? Voldemort interrupted.? ?I have your blood coursing in my veins now Harry.? You and I are almost the same.? In fact, I could possibly be your father, Harry.? Would you like that?? The father you never knew??? Voldemort again let out his high, shrieky laugh that pierced through the scar on Harry?s forehead.? Harry jumped up.
?You can be my father as long as you kill yourself, Voldemort,? Harry spat.
?Amusing,? drawled Voldemort.? ?It?s too bad you?ll never put that wit to good use.? I was going to kill you quickly, but now,? Voldemort flicked his wand and Harry doubled over in pain, ?I think I?ll torture you for a while.? CRUCIATUS!
Harry felt himself lifted gently into air.? What had Snape tried to teach him?? Empty your mind.? Don?t fight against ? just simply don?t let it enter.? Harry breathed deeply, trying to shut out the death, destruction and chaos surrounding him.? Just as Voldemort could hear his thoughts, so, too, could he hear Voldemort?s.? He focused on ignoring the evil jeering inside his brain.? He thought about slowly unbuttoning Ginny?s robes; her soft lips; her ?
He found himself slamming into the hard stone of the castle.
?No, Harry,? Voldemort seethed, ?love, even the physical act of love, won?t help you, either.? This is the end Harry.? There is no one, there is nothing in this earthly world that can come to your aid.? You are truly and ultimately alone.? The only thing left for you is to beg for death.?? Voldemort advanced slowly towards Harry, red eyes blazing.? Harry frantically looked around for something, anything he could use.? ?There is nothing, Harry.? It?s been fun.? Goodbye.?
No.? No, that?s not right, Harry thought.? There is something.? Something that I?m missing.? Something more powerful than Voldemort.? Something even more powerful than Dumbledore.? Think, Harry told himself, THINK!
He cast his mind back to the Dursley?s; their sitting room; that horrible pale couch with the pastel flowers with the lace doilies on the arms.? The too-clean kitchen.? The dining room where, as part of their plan to beat the witch out of him, they forced him to say ?
Grace.
Grace.? Grace to who?? Didn?t they call it praying?? Didn?t Mrs. Dursley on the days that she actually deigned to speak to Harry constantly remind him how?what was his name?Jesus was more powerful than any witch or wizard could ever be?? There?s nothing left, thought Harry, I?ve tried everything else.
?Dear Jesus,? Harry muttered, feeling a small stream of blood trickled from his mouth.? As he spoke the name of the Savior, he felt an odd sensation as if Voldemort had jerked suddenly.? ?Dear Jesus,? he started again.? Yes.? Voldemort definitely jerked again.? ?Dear JESUS?, Harry said louder and pushed himself to his feet, ?I am a poor and miserable sinner.?
?It?it won?t work, Harry.?? Voldemort?s hideous face twisted almost as if in pain.? His voice sounded less than convincing.
?DEAR JESUS,? Harry said loudly, a thunderclap punctuating his prayer, ?I am a poor and miserable sinner who has turned his back on You.? I know now that You -?, Voldemort began a low whimper, ?- are the Way and the Light!? YOU,? Voldemort shook violently, the whimper turning into a cry of pain, ?are the LORD and SAVIOR of mankind!? YOU ??
?NOOOOOO,? Voldemort wailed, ?NO!? Jesus is NOTHING.? Jesus can not help you, you poor, wretched piece of filth.? It?is?too?LATE!?
?DEAR JESUS,?? Harry shouted, approaching Voldemort who quivered like jello, ?I renounce Satan.? I renounce the Devil.? Merciful Jesus, I ask you to come into my heart and MAKE ME WHOLE!!?
?AVADA KEDAVRA?, Voldemort cried, pointing his wand at Harry?s chest.? Almost in slow motion, Harry watched the green ball of light form at the tip and grow bigger.? He watched as it separated from the tip to begin its murderous journey toward him.? Harry looked back on his life.? How could he have been so blind?? How could he have allowed himself to fall so low as to consort with Satan himself?? This school, with its magic and wonderment, served only to corrupt him.? And could you really have ?friends? in such a case?? Or were they simply there to increase the Satanic force field?? To provide more energy for the Devil to do his business.?
All his years at Hogwarts meant nothing and served nothing but his own pride and arrogance that he did not need Jesus.
He watched the green ball inch toward him.? A tear fell from his eyes.? The soon-to-be-dead Harry Potter looked up to the Heavens and smiled as he felt the Spirit of Jesus enter him.? He then looked into Voldemort?s glowing red eyes.
?HIS will,? he said softly, ?not yours, be done.?
It seemed as though time had stopped.? The green ball, the ball of light that contained his death hung in the air inches from his robes.? Voldemort seemed to stop breathing.? The sounds of death ? fire, crumbling stones, wails of the wounded ? ceased.? And then, scarely believing it, Harry watched the green ball reverse course and headed back toward Voldemort.?
?Back to Hell with you,? said Harry.
The evil wizard?s eyes widened as time regained its regular speed.? The green ball sped into Voldemort?s chest and he crumpled to the ground.
Harry fell to his knees weeping.? ?I turn my soul over to Your care, Lord.? You are the Way and the Light.? I am Your humble and unworthy servant.? May You have mercy on me.?
—
?Harry Potter, you wake up this instant or we?ll be late for church!? I?ve had enough of your disobedience and God has, too!?
Harry awoke, bathed in sweat, in his own bed.? He looked out his window at the waving fields of wheat of his Kansas home.? What a horrible dream!? Life without Jesus had been a nightmare!
?Sorry, Mom,? he yelled as he scramble into his church clothes, ?I?ll be right down!?
The End
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