STR : THE FREEDOM BLOG

[Note - We became aquainted Mr. Bao after watching him concientously mop the floor at a local Wendy's.? We considered his work ethic to be stellar, moving the trash bins to ensure that any dirt caught under them would be irradicated and paying close attention to the edges and corners of the restaurant floor.? The manager, believing that such attention to detail consumed too much time, insisted that Mr. Bao "step up the pace or go back to ChinkLand".? When Mr. Bao protested he was Vietnamese, said manager informed him with a torrent of profanity that he was now fired and to "use those slant-eyes to look for a new job".[Naturally, this distressed Mr. Bao.? Rather than show anger, he knelt on the spotless floor, put his hands together and prayed in what we assumed his native tongue although it admittedly sounded like gobbedlygook to us.? Watching this act of faith in the Creator, we quickly informed Mr. Bao that we would move Heaven and Earth to find him a job mopping floors in a restaurant that would appreciate his artistry and dedication to the mop.? As the tears fell down his cheeks and he pumped our hands in gratitude ("Tank you, GI Joe...America nummer one") we released him from his slavery, taking his phone number and giving him a ride to the bus stop.? We are pleased to inform you that he now works at a McDonalds which, as the manager tells us, has never had such clean floors.

[We occasionally speak with Mr. Bao on the days when we decide on McDonalds for lunch and found out that he recently became an American citizen, renouncing foul and fetid jungle of dog eaters in Vietnam.? "I learn speak American from you website," he told us, "and I want pay back to you debt for good good job giving me.? I write you website, GI Joe."? As Christians and Americans, we could not turn down this heartfelt, if grammatically incorrect request.]

My name Hein Phuck Bao and I American.? I get my paper that say I American two months.? You now call me GI Joe!? Ha ha!? I kidding you!

I come Vietnam twenty year.? I come legal not like brown beaner who sneak border.? I proud my new country.? I love my new country.? America nummer one!?

When I live Vietnam, I live like mud man.? I eat dog.? I not know Jesus.? I think American bad and throw stones at GI Joe because they kill my family.? One GI Joe he give me Holy Bible and tell me God want American save Vietnam.? He tell me he sorry GI Joe kill my family but it mistake and they think my family look just like other family that want kill GI Joes.? He tell God no like people eat dog and no like commies.? Me no like commies too and not like eat dog.? It too stringy.

GI Joe say I help out in mess hall mop floors real good and learn of Jesus.? He teach me good talking with American.? “America nummer one!”? “Death before dishonor!”? “Die, hippie, die!”? He teach me read use bible and I learn that there only one God who make world and everything in it and he make me too.? He tell me he take me to America where everyone free and no one eat dog.? I happy.

Then all GI Joes leave Vietnam quick quick and I look GI Joe friend but I no see him.? Soon no more GI Joes in Vietnam.? I hear of boat to America and tell them I mop good floor for America and they let me on tell me they get me job if I give money.? I say I no money and they say gold teeth money and I give them gold teeth and?money?from job they get me.??So I pull them out there and give them.? I go to America!

It not so easy when I get.? They tell me cut up pig and you give us money you get.? Soon I know they bad men.? I ask God to help me.? He tell me they pigs too and I treat them like pigs.? Me and other Vietnamese cut them up.? We free now.? I go find my GI Joe.? Look long time but find him Iowa.? I tell him he help me find job mop floor.? He tell me I got wrong GI Joe.? I go church and pray and cry and ask God answer my prayers to give me job and make me American and give me new teeth.? I no take long time but God answer prayer and now I American.

I tell story so you know I love American.? I no eat dog here.? I love Jesus.? I love President Bush.? I finally vote election 2008.? This make me happy cry when I think.? But make me sad cry too when I think evil bad people want run country I love.? Evil bad people want destroy country I love.?

I no understand America when they want Muslim who no salute America flag in White House.? He no show respect for country of free.? It not right.? All the mornings I put up flag and salute flag and pledge allegiance flag because I have respect America.? Obama muslim and no love America.? If he love America he salute flag but he not.? He no love America and it mean he no love God.? Why you vote for him?

I no understand when they say they want kill baby in White House.? That no respect.? I see my family killed mistake by GI Joes and it no good but it war.? To have president who kill baby for fun - why you vote for this?? Why American no understand bad?? Why American vote to someone kill family not on mistake but on meaning it?? It make me cry.? It make Jesus cry.? Why it no make democrat cry?

I new GI Joe citizen of America.? You need listen that I see great America being and there many other like me want live in Land of Free Home of Brave.? If you no love America and want America become bad then you leave.? You live Vietnam.? You live Cambodia.? You eat dog.? Me no eat dog no more because me American.

You vote in election 2008 and stop democrats from kill America and God!

I am hope blessing God

Hien Phuc Bao

Dear Shelley,

I really appreciate you telling the truth on so many issues. I read all of your articles for over two years now and I love you and the whole STR writer crew very much.

Some people don’t believe you when you say that liberals destroy the morals in America but I know first hand that you are right. I live in a quite suburban area close to Boulder, Colorado. It has always been a deep red area with strong morals and family values. I don’t know any neighbor not attending church on Sunday. Until now and this is where my story takes an ugly turn. Mrs. Simpson died recently. She was living on the other side of the street for the better part of the second half of the last century. She is in a better place now. Some German immigrants have bought the place and it’s all downhill from there. They are what you might call “neoliberals”.
They

- don’t go to church.
- play loud music, including “Heavy Metal”.
- kiss and cuddle on the street.
- drink and have loud parties.
- have “Bush is a war criminal” bumper stickers on their car.
- don’t mow their lawn.
- don’t participate in any neighborhood events.
- don’t buy American products! They own a Volvo and a Mercedes.
- take away our jobs.
- they have sex in public!!! See picture proof!

Their kids (Girl of 15 and Boy of 17) have piercings and dress like goths! What kind of filth is Germany sending our way? Their name is “Steinke”. I don’t know if I am allowed to say this for legal reasons but what to hell, I just do it. Anyway, to me this reads like “stink”, right? And that is what I call them whenever I see them. Good morning Mr. Stink, good morning Mrs. Stink. They keep telling me it’s like “Shtinkee” or something, but I don’t care. I call them what them is, end of story!

We are already trying to do our best to get them to leave. We (the neighborhood community) already engaged a number of lawyers and we are filing law-suits against them, but without any success so far.

Do you have any idea what to do? I don’t want them to destroy our nice neighborhood… Please help. I know you have great ideas all the time. Maybe you know what to do.

Thanks so much.

Carol Ann Parker, Boulder CO.

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Response:
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Carol,
thanks for your email. I have many ideas what to do. E-mail me: Shelley@ShelleyTheRepublican.com. I know how to get rid of them dirty, filthy Krauts in no time. Don’t worry.
Shelley

Dear Readers,
we recently received this letter from Russia. It gave us some hope for a better future. It proves that there are still decend folks living in Russia.

My Dear Shelley
my name Dimitry Mitrov. I am Russian scientist. I live near St. Peterburg. I want to tell you my whole family is reading your website. We want to thank you and your friends for writing great text every day. In evening when I back from work we all sit together and read your website and laugh and be educated. Most of time we all agree. Here in Russia we don’t like gay men and lesbian women. I agree as well that we can not allow terrorist to kill our soldiers. We had same problem in Moscow couple of years back, when terrorist hoding hostages in theater.

I sending you picture of my family. On left is my wife. Her name Olga. My son Peter, my daughter Lena, then me and my brother Stanislav. We will be living in USA, soon! I found job at university of San Diego and we are moving to USA in October. I can’t wait to see beautiful country with beautiful people. My biggest dream is meeting you in person. You educated and entertained us for many years. I can promose you that as soon as I can vote, I am voting only for republican party! I want to enjoy America way it should be and will not help democrats to destroy.

Goodbye Shelley.

I talk to you soon. God bless you.

Dimitry