STR : THE FREEDOM BLOG

This month marks the 60th anniversary of the state of Israel and the beginning of the fulfillment of the prophecy of Armageddon.  As a thank you for keeping Israel in more or less good condition while waiting for Jesus to return, I’d like to sing a special happy birthday to Israel.

Briefly Patriotic - Happy Birthday To Jews!

I like to witness to y’all.

Jesus lives in my heart. I love Him. He is there for me. He died for my sins. I would die for Him. He is what makes America great. He is the only source of hope, the only source of morality. Without Jesus there is no light, there is no sun, without Him the world would be a dark and lonely place.

Dear Friend:
Are you taking drugs? Are you having butt-sex? Are you a pedophile? Are you stealing and cheatin’? Are you a homosexual? Are you masturbating? Are you watching porn? Are you doing all of the above, in short: DO YOU CALL YOURSELF A LIBERAL???

If you can answer one or more of the above questions with “yes”, then there are only two possible ways to go for you.

1. Stop sinning and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
2. Burn in hell.

The consequences are:

1. You will live a life filled with love and joy. You won’t feel depressed, you wont feel the urge to have gay sex. Your life will be a Heavenly experience. When you die it will be painless and you will float up to Heaven. In Heaven you will meet Jesus. He will give you a loving hug and show you around. Heaven is your most beautiful dream come true. Everything is possible. You will spend eternity in everlasting bliss.

2. Your life will be filled with doubt and hate. You will be depressed and angry. You will start hating yourself. You will start drinking and having more butt-sex. You will start mutilating yourself, just to feel the pain. Every day of your life will be one filled of senseless violence, hate and you will always be on the losing side. Your death will be long and painful. After you die, Satan will greet you. He will make you bleed, he will pour salt in your wounds. He will laugh about your tears. He will rip the skin from your body and when you pass out from terrible pain, he will wake you up and continue. He will roast you alive. He will lock you in a small case and set you on fire. He will electrocute you. He will rip out your fingers. He will cut out your eyes and you wish you could die but you can’t, cause you are already dead. This will go on for all eternity and then, maybe then you will you would stopped voting democ-rat, being gay and taking drugs. Maybe then, but by then it’s too late.

So, what shall it be, folks?

Tony didn’t win and I feel real bad about that.  I wish I coulda done more to help him.  But it ain’t over!  I know that he ain’t gonna stop until he lops off the Great Porn Dragon’s head with the dual swords of truth, justice and piousness!

God is Love!
BBN

Here we go again another principal stands up to protect her students from the wages of sin and the next thing you know the American Communist Liberties Union is screaming their dang fool heads off about how you tried to protect America instead of destroy it. Just ask Daphne Beasley, the principal of Hollis F. Price Middle College High School in South Memphis. All she wanted to do was put an end to the non-stop sexual orgy that was perverting her school. So she had a list put together of all the non-married‚ couples‚ and posted it to make‚ em stop heading down the road of sin. Well, two homos showed up on that list and because they’re homos and need to hide their sinfulness, they start stamping and crying about their, rights getting violated. What about the rights of straight people who don’t want to witness gay affection. If America is gonna get right with God then we gotta treat homos like we treat terror: see something, say something.

Briefly Patriotic - Homos: See Something Say Something

Dear Lord
Thank you for defeating Barrack Homo Obama
Thank you for helping making abortion illegal
Thank you for helping us win the war on terror

Only you, O’Lord have the power to create and to destroy, only you O’Lord make and break how you want and whenever you want. You are all powerful but also filled with never-ending love. We, the true American Patriots are forever thankful and we will take care of what you have given us until your Son Jesus comes back.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost I beg you to strike down the enemies of freedom and continue to make America your every-lasting home.

Amen

Unnamed sources just confirmed that massive security problems have been discovered, therefore the release of Hardy Heron has been (maybe/hopefully permanently delayed).

According to insiders there exist rumors that Canonical Ltd., the maker of Ubuntu, will discontinue the development of their operating system.

UPDATE:

A polished version of Ubuntu 7.10 has been hastily released to cover up Connolicial’s upcoming demise.
Our technical advisor has confirmed that Ubuntu Horny Heron is in fact NOT a “new version” of Ubuntu but rather the same old same old ineffective, unstable Russian linux kernel.

Stay tuned for the latest developments.

According to the socialists who make Ubuntu Linux, a new version of their somewhat popular operating system is to be released tomorrow: It’s been just over a year since Microsoft released Windows Vista ? the question on everybody’s lips is have the Ubuntu people managed to catch up with Microsoft’s flagship product? Is Linux finally ready for the desktop or is it still little more than a plaything for unemployed nerds?

Linux, as we all know, began life as a hobbyist operating system ? invented by conspiracy theorist Richard ?Stalin? Stallman (above) so that he could have an operating system that was just as unfriendly as confusing as his word-processor ?e-Macs?.

For more facts about Ubuntu Linux, please read the article entitled “Ubuntu: Why it is wrong for America” by STR’s lead technology contributor Charles Roast. This was the very first article to deflate much of the liberal media hype that surrounds the Ubuntu bubble.

In recent years Linux has suffered a major set-back following the shock revelations form SCO Group, whose software had been stolen wholesale and incorporated into illegal distributions of Linux. For the past five years, the overwhelming effort of Linux developers has gone into removing SCO’s intellectual property from the Linux operating system ? but as the threat of litigation has subsided many users are asking once-again if Linux is a serious contender?

Unfortunately, the answer is mostly a no: We downloaded the latest ?beta? of Ubuntu’s operating system and were once again very disappointed: It looks almost exactly the same as the previous version lacking any of the visual style, reliability and advanced features of the industry standard Windows Vista.

We decided to look under the hood of Linux to see if this ‘Samizdat’ operating system concealed any notable secrets. According to the anonymous ?.t.xt? file that came with the disk this OS had a new feature called ?Completely Fair Scheduler? - after a great deal of research we were able to conclude that this was an attempt to bring the principles of Marxism onto your PC. The Linux nerds are upset that some people have faster computers than others, so this new feature takes processing power from fast computers and donates them to people who have slower computers.

Windows users have no need of the “Completely Fair Scheduler” because we have modern scheduling software such as Microsoft Outlook (above). Outlook allows you to give your time to whoever you want, regardless of any socialist definitions of ‘fairness’.

If you object to this communism, tough luck: The so-called ?Completely Fair Scheduler? is incorporated into the ?kernel? ( which is the Linux equivalent of the MS Dos layer in older versions of windows). This ?feature? alone is enough to frighten serious users away from the upstart operating system. Unfortunately there is far more cause for alarm:

One of the great things about Windows is the ease of obtaining powerful utilities and applications. In addition to hundreds of great titles available on CD-ROM you can download awesome shareware applications:

Simply click on Setup.exe and most installers will instantly deploy your chosen software, sometimes with cool bonus productivity apps that enhance your browsing experience. In comparison with Microsoft’s common-sense approach, pandemonium reigns on the Linux platform.

The only way to install software is via a tool called the ?package manager? which is confusingly also called ?Synaptic?. This works according to a similar principle as a communist super-market: You have a limited range of software which has been chosen on a purely ideological basis rather than functionality. If you want to ?think different?, it’s tough-luck again: Another obvious fail for the ‘contender’.

To make matters worse, in order to install an application you must be ?root? which entails memorizing a series of confusing passwords. By contrast Windows allows any user to install the applications they need to do their work ? a wise productivity gain that endears the flexible NT platform to IT departments the world over.

Finally we notice that Ubuntu Linux is the first OS to come bundled with software that runs Bit-torrent: As we previously reported this is software used by European pirates to rip off American industry and steal bandwidth from telcos to distribute porn. Once again we should compare Window’s sensible bundling strategy, in which only basic system tools such as a web-browser are integrated into the core-operating system. What on earth possessed the Linux kernel developers to add ?low-level? support for BitTorrent, unless of course this is a European plan to incriminate us all.

In summary, Ubuntu Linux is still not yet ready for the Desktop. Our recommendation is to take a rain check on this release: Commercial and educated power-users will no doubt avoid this system because of it’s dangerous ideological bias, lack of quality software and out-dated technology.

We do feel that the new release of Ubuntu Linux will have moderate success playing to it’s core-audience: It will provide an entertaining diversion for hackers in-between prison sentences.

I’m gonna be doing a show on BlogTalkRadio at 3pm EDT so come on by!