STR † THE FREEDOM BLOG

Friends,

What good are the Defeat-ocrats doing in our war against Osama Bin Laden and his evil gang of Iraqui terrorists. Every day the liberal wing-nuts undermine our troops’ morale by criticizing their commander in chief. They cry shame any time we do a good deed, and they shed tears every time a terrorist is punished.

Hillary Clinton: She hates America and wants us to loose the war against Osama Bin Laden and the Iraqi terrorists who perpetrated the evil crimes of 9/11. - What will become of America if becomes our commander in chief.

And the mainstream media are consistently creating a false impression of doom and gloom in Iraq; reporting only deaths and murders but completely failing to report all the good that America has done to Iraq: Bringing them peace, freedom, democracy and above all that most precious of American gifts: Freedom.

Fortunately there are some people who are determined to make a difference in spite of the oppression and negativity from the liberals: Those people are you, our loyal readers and donors to Shelley The Republican. Thanks to your prayers and generous gifts, we were able to send our very first prayer delegation to Iraq, bearing a unique gift that is sure to make a real difference to the lives of the few Iraqis that survived Saddam’s brutal regime.

A giant version of this elegant monument, ten feet high will be installed on the site where evil former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein’s statue once stood. It has been transported to Baghdad courtesy of the US-Air force.

I’m speaking of God’s ten commandments. Our precious cargo on this voyage to newly Democratic Iraq is a a giant stone-tablet carved identically to one which Moses, the law-bringer brought down from Mount Sinai.

We intend to present it to the democratically elected President of Iraq as a gift to the Iraqi people, in the hope that it encourages them to repent from their evil islamofascist ways, and embrace the true light of Jesus.

For more information about this important project to bring peace and Christianity to, please read our press-release.

Yours in Christ,

Tristan J. Shuddery

Friends,

You can tell a lot about a man by the kind of car he drives; What does the fact that I drive a hummer say about me? Powerful, strong, rugged and All-American. It’s a great truck, and it’s been a pleasure to own these last few months apart from one unpleasant experience just yesterday…

As I was driving home from our STR.com weekly prayer meeting, a cyclist slammed into my left side, badly scratching the paintwork and leaving bloodstains on one of the mirrors. The dumb cyclist colapsed into a twisted wreck by the road-side. At first I figured I would drive on, after all liberals are better off as road-kill…

… just then Jesus spoke to me: He said “Tristan, remember the parable of the Good Samaritan”. I suppose Jesus wanted me to stick around a little longer to help this poor fool on his way, and perhaps spread some of God’s love.

Like Shelley I also drive a Hummer. It’s a great truck but people always complain that it uses too much gas. The way I see it is that by driving this truck, I’m making a statement that I will not let the Democrats high oil-prices defeat me. America’s gonna keep on truckin’ no matter what the terrorists do. Anybody who rides a cycle has already given in to the terrorists.

Well, the cyclist recovered sooner than I expected, and when he did, boy was he mad. He kept shouting something about not signaling at a left turn, and crying for his wrecked bike. I explained to him that if he had not been there on his stupid bicycle he’d never have got in my way and never been injured., and that he shouldn’t be surprised about his bike breaking - after all it was made in Europe, a land where nothing is ever made right.

He even tore up the Biblical tracts I gave him in a shouting rage as he trudged off to who knows here. I’m sure Jesus loves him, but just then I had a hard time finding any way of understanding this angry liberal city-boy with a death-wish.

It’s just typical of cyclists to blame other road-users for their own failings. I bet he was uninsured as well, another irresponsible liberal who expects all of us taxpayers to pick up the bill.

Are all cyclists like this angry young man? It seems obvious to me, that everywhere you find sedition, anti-American behaviour and fornication you will also find cyclists. There has to be something wrong with the kind of people who like being on two spindly wheels instead of being safe behind the wheel of a truck or family-sized car.

One of the busiest days on the French protest-calendar is the annual naked bike-ride. These French people are protesting… well heck knows. That’s just what these people do.

I’m reliabily informed that this event usually ends in a public homosexual French orgy. The french and their so-called sports disgust me.

There are two main types of cyclist which are common in the USA. The first and most deadly is the “Mountain Biker”. As the name suggests, these are insane cyclists whose idea of fun is to pedal up hills and then speed down them terrorizing everybody in their path. Mountain bikers are famous for their abuse of pot, amphetamines and other banned hallucinogens. Very few mountain bikers survive past the age of 30 because of the extreme hazards of downhill cycling, and the toll taken by a diet of drugs and alcohol.

Most mountain-bikers are reckless and irresponsible; they often speed past pedestrians and livestock without a care about the damage they are doing. I’ve long campaigned for mountain-bikes to be fitted with number-plates, exactly like the ones we have on cars. I’m sure the cyclists would not behave so irresponsibly if they knew that their deeds could be tracked down.

The other type of cycling is called “Road Racing” a preposterous sport which is mainly popular amongst the homosexual community. Most Americans do not regard this as a true sport, because the chief objective is to pose in the absurd skin-tight ‘fashions’. This probably explains why road-cycling is the most popular sport in France. It’s just typical that a degenerate, liberal, godless nation like the French would adopt a sport which involves adult men spending hours staring at each other’s butts!

Are cyclists pedalling the road to hell? They wear tight spandex and shave their legs. This member of Shelley’s prayer team is concerned about their souls, and that is why he is reading to them from the book of Leviticus. What could be better than sharing God’s love?

Is it fair that cyclists should be allowed on the road? Cyclists argue that their vehicles are “energy efficient” and that we should all abandon our trucks and start cycling. This hilarious wingnut proposal sounds like something from an Al Gore eco-terror movie. Why should we Americans sacrifice our way of life because of a liberal eco-panic?

Let me put this in a simple way that even our liberal readers can understand: If you cycle to work then the terrorists have already won. We need to deny them their victory, when you drive a truck you are sending a message to the terrorists that they can never defeat us. You show me a cyclist and I will show you a traitor.

Yours in Christ,

Trista J. Shuddery

… why we are fighting the war on terror in Iraq.

This is why:

We can not allow those towel-heads to terrorize future generations. We MUST kill terrorism one rag-head at the time!

Q: What’s Saddam Hussein doing before New Year’s Eve?
A: Nothing. Just hanging around.

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Oops!? He can’t claim he’s “president” no more!

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I hope it’s clear to every single towelhead in towelheadland that when the United States of America says it’s gonna doing something then it’s as good as done.? AND we’re gonna get done PDQ.? A little more than three and a half years after we liberated Iraq from the evil oppression of a piece of scum that would make a cockroach throw up, the United States of America made sure that scum got flushed down the toilet and sent through one of the Iraqi water purification plants repaired through the goodwill of the United States of America.

Here was some great big he-man pushing his weight around just like Hitler tried to do in Europe.? If the United States of America hadn’t stepped up to the plate to take care of this psycho S.O.B the entire Middle East would’ve found itself blackmailed into being Saddam’s butt boy.? And he probably wouldn’t have stopped there!? We already found enough chemical and biological weapons in Iraq (and don’t think we didn’t you whiny, liberals appeasers) to make Joseph Mengele drool.? And that ain’t even thinking about the nuclear bombs he almost built.? Had the United States of America just sat back like the Democ-RATs wanted us to, he would’ve turned that sandpit into a?great big piece of beach glass.

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Thanks to President Bush’s decisive leadership
another nuclear war was averted.

The one thing that Mr. Moustache failed to take into account is the fact that the United States of America HATES a bully.? As soon as some ruffian tries to run roughshod over the people of a country and treat ‘em like slaves, the US of A will not rest until that no-good so and so gets his butt kicked and the oppressed are free to set up their own democracy.? We made good on the promise in spades.?

Thanks to us, Iraqis have their country back and the sweet winds of Freedom blow through the land once again.? We helped them set up a real government and taught them how the justice system oughta work.? I ain’t saying it’s perfect over there.? They still got a lot to learn about how to run a country right.? And they coulda convicted Saddam a lot quicker if their police force kept a tighter grip on protecting some of the prosecutors.? But that’s just nitpicking.? The fact is - he’s dead and (with a little help from you-know-how) they did it themselves.

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A new flag means a new beginning!? Many Iraqi Christians
feel disrepected by the Islam stuff between the stars

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Walking around Boston, Massachusetts today, I wasn’t too surprised to see hundreds of people wearing black arm bands and stumbling around with tears in their eyes.? They lost one of their best friends.? Who’s gonna help ‘em destroy America now???They’re probably already printing t-shirts with “I (heart) Iran” on ‘em.?

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Liberals all over the country will hold candlelight
vigils to honor Saddam

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I wanna add that now is not the time for complaining about the two or three loose ends we gotta tie up.? Now is the time to pat ourselves on the back and take a break with a nice cold Coca Cola.? We done good.? So let’s celebrate!

Q:?What’s Saddam’s least favorite game?
A: Hangman!

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God is Love!

BBN