Problems
Welcome to the regularly updated STR.com problems page! On this page we invite you to let us know your troubles, worries and moral dilemmas and our good friend and mentor Dr. Reverend Magnus Bucks will provide all the answers that you need. Just drop a comment below, or send us an email.
God Bless You All and Keep On Blessing America Every Day!
Am I going to hell? Yes!
Hello Pastor.
I was wondering, I was involved with a Bi-sexual female when I was 19. I didn’t lose my virginity or anything, but I was in a relationship. I am a male myself and I was wondering if you consider it “sinful” that I was going out with a bi girl, or that she was bi and going out with a guy.
I’ve asked this question a few times and haven’t gotten it answered. Is a bisexual female “bad” or “sinful” if they are going out with a male.Thanks, Link
Friend,
First of all, thank you for seeking the wisdom of Jesus - I know just how hard it can be to cope with sinful thoughts.
When he received your message, the pastor knelt down in Prayer in the name of Jesus. After an hour of contemplating the lord, the Pastor spoke: He asked me to let you know that any extra-marital affair, especially one with an un-repentant sinner is itself sinful.
I personally have no problem with you, but unfortunately you are going to Hell. It’s not me who says that - it’s God.
Yours in Christ,
Tristan
Porn freak
Hi Pastor Bucks
I spend about 3 hours watching porn every day.
I noticed that in almost all porns the actors are screaming out ?Oh
God? during sex.
How do you explain that?
Do they have a special bond with God?
Terry
God help you Terry!
I’m afraid to say that reality lies very far from your (crazy, I’m afraid to say) suggestion. The reason the ‘actors’ (as you call them. In my church, we calls them something else!) actually cry out the LORD’s name is complex. It’s actually the one part of them that is not lost that you hear. The one tiny part of their soul that remains true and unstained. During the filthsome acts that you see on screen, this part of their being calls out in anguish, desperately trying to reconnect with God. So it is that the naked screen sirens call repeatedly and loud and in increased urgency as they feel that the Spirit is moving away from them and that they are shutting it out even as they open up more of their orifices up to wrong doing. This untarnished part of their soul wails in despair while the rest of their body gives itself up to debauched pleasure and affrontage to nature. It heaves and sighs and bucks in agony even as they feel sin pounding inside them. It is most tragic. By the way, several parishoners have told me that older porn actors no longer call out the LORD’s name. They merely cry in despair. What a terrible life!
I also might add, in addition to the answer to your question, that watching porn three hours a day is no way to live. That will not please God or Jesus. You too are destorying your soul even as those poor writhing bodies on the screen. You need to stop now and cleanse your soul, or you will go to hell and burn for eternity. You should start by praying, and maybe think about making a donation to the Republican party to continue God’s work and that may make Jesus view you with more indulgence.
God guide you!
Pastor Bucks
Wednesday November 1
Self publicist Limey writer
Dear Pastor,
I have set up a website about office life http://www.ihatework.wordpress.com, inviting readers to write in and lay into their boss, tell their funniest stories about Christmas parties, away days, interviews and dismissals and generally have a ball. I just know that it’s the greatest site in the world, but I haven’t had many visitors yet. Can you think of a way of boosting my visitor numbers?.
Thank you in advance!
Sam Jordison
Dear Mr Jordison,
We at Shelleytherepublican.com are not stupid! We can see through your mad attempt at self-publicity (and it is mad because no Christian is going to help your useless prjoect!). However, we Christians are nothing if not charitable and I’m willing to help you anyway. I just hope you take my advice and stop writing these dreadful books that no one reads.
But first, I suggest you pray Jesus and pray Jesus hard. Do you really want to encourage this kind of thing? I looked at your website and it disgusts me. “Slag off your boss”? What on God’s earth does that mean. How can you have oral sex as a category. Oral sex is foul. I think you are going to hell Mr Jordison and you need to worry about your whole life not just your website visitor numbers.
That’s why I’ve developed a special six point prayer plan for you in the hope that Jesus will forgive your sins and you can once more become a respectable Christian citizen.
1) Read the Bible (daily)
2) Attend your local chapel and sing, sing His praises.
3) Shut down that filthy website and get a proper job.
4) Pray (daily ? and hard)
5) Obtain indulgence from the LORD and start increasing your own earning potential by making a small donation (say $500-1000) to Shelleytherepublican.com. Visit our donate page for details of how to do this.
6) Renounce Satan.
7) Stop bugging busy people. Don’t you know there’s an election on. I really have to get back to praying that God gets his way in that now. Vote republican!
God Bless You,
Pastor Bucks
P.S. Please don’t write me again. You Limies make me want to puke.
Saturday October 28
Fear and trembling
How can one love that which one fears? How can one truly love God if he is feared?
A H
You fear your Pop don’t you? If you don’t he didn’t bring you up right that’s for sure. But if you don’t love him you wouldn’t be right. We all love our Pop! In fact, not loving your Pop is a pretty sure sign that you’re going to burn. Burn in hot hell. Where the fires of righteousness never die down and the only music is the sound of sinners a screaming and a hollering and a wishing they hadn’t spent their lives so bad-uh. Far, far from God, they howl in that hot, hot lake. And all their skin is a rolling off their bodies, blackened and charred revealing hot pink flesh underneath and even to think of it is agony ? let alone attack it with scalding brands, which is what those demon imps do down there.
Foul! Foul! Foul Hell! How they moan. Their teeth are ground down to their gums! Their throats are rubbed with the sandpaper roughness of their cries. Their eyes are dried out as unto deserts from eons of crying. They pray and beseech the LORD to forgive them, but there’s only Satan there to hear them and he just hates them more and tortures them more for their regrets.
And that’s where they learn what it means to love God. Too late though. Too late.
Do you want to be too late too “A H”. Or do you want to come back to Him and be saved? If it’s the latter you better fear Him. And you better love Him too.
God Bless You,
Pastor Magnus Bucks
Monday October 23
Jerk Off
Dear Pastor Bucks
I hope you don’t mind if I ask you for help, because I am in need of help. And I hope you don’t think I am a disgusting pig, after you read this email! I don’t know why I am what I am. Maybe it was my liberal upbringing, maybe it is because I live very close to San
Francisco, only God knows.Let me start by saying that I am a proud Republican. I support the
Republican core values and I stand by my President.Now let me get to my terrible problem:
From time to time I masturbate. I know it is not right and in the eyes of God I must look like a sinner but I make sure he does not see me by doing it under the covers or sometimes even under the bed, just to make sure He can’t see me! Here comes the bad part: I am obsessed with Pamela Anderson! I am sure you know that she is a bad liberal traitor! She promotes animal rights and supports the democrat party!
But she is soooo HOT! Just look at her (the attachment). Look at her
breasts, her perfect smile! Her hair! Her very very very HOT BODY! I stated out chocking the chicken once a day but my obsession gets worse! Now I have to do it at least 3 times a day. I carry a picture of her around and sometimes I even do it on the school toilet! I feel like my sin has become to big that I can not hide it any longer from God. I don’t want to be a sinner in his eyes. I am actually pretty sure that He would not mind if I jerk off to Anne Coulter or Britney Spears or any other good Republican from time to time but I don’t want God have hating me because it’s Pamela!Can you help me, Pastor Bucks? I just don’t know what to do anymore!
God bless you,
Timothy Candrell
Pamela Anderson. A gift from Satan!
Dear Timothy,
You do well by being a republican and well by supporting Our Great Leader. Certainly plus points on the road to heaven.
However, the rest of your message worries me greatly. As my great friend in Jesus Shelley has already explained on this site, masturbation is a grave sin and a sure way to ensure yourself a place in hell. Do you read about Jesus belabouring his man parts in the Bible? No. And don’t think that God can’t see you under those covers. He can because He sees everything.
Liberals will of course try to tell you that such foul actions are somehow ‘natural’ and even ‘healthy’. Don’t believe them. They say the same thing being gay. Actually, “self harm” is disgusting. No good Christian does it. In fact, it’s the Devil’s work.
And I have to warn you that certainly can’t sully such clean women as Ann Coulter and Britney Spears by harming yourself in their names. That’s just vile and sinful. Imagine how Ann Coulter would feel appearing on Fox news covered in your seed? You wouldn’t do it in the physical world, so don’t do it in your head! Remember that your thoughts are just as real to God as your actions!
It is permitted for you to imagine a long happy chaste marriage to either of them and a rich and golden future together. Even then, however, I would take care not to offend Jesus. They are both already decently married women after all and you don’t want them adulterating in your head.
As for that Pamela Anderson! How sorry I feel for you. I’ve been looking and looking and looking at that picture you sent me [STR.com readers please note, the pastor did this without the benefit of Jesus the censor! That's how far he will go for his readers]. I can well imagine the dirty thoughts it generates in your mind. Debauched and deranged imaginings about living with that slattern on a desert island, far from civilisation and all its trappings (like clothes). Having to spend long days watching her dive in and out of the waves and running up and down the shoreline with all her female parts bouncing up and down in God’s air untrammelled by even the skimpiest bikini. You would be forced to fall asleep next to her, holding her close for warmth at night, smelling the salt sea and the musk of her feminity. Then the devil would fill your mind with thoughts about oiling her up with coconut juice, rolling her over and spanking her provocative rear, kneading her soft breasts and licking?
See! It’s just shameful! I really don’t know how you cope! You must put these things from you!
To do this may require radical action. I suggest a few monastic years, cleansing yourself as did the Desert Fathers in days of old. All computers and ways of obtaining pornographic materials (ie the temptations of dollars) must be cast from you. I myself and the STR.com Wealth and Health Foundation ? will be pleased to help you in this great task. We promise that we will take your money from you and all the evil trappings of the material world and direct them towards doing the work of Jesus! The best thing about doing this is that when you return from the wilderness, pure again in mind and body, Jesus will be so pleased with you for believing in Him and giving to us that he’ll instantly make you rich again!
So what are you waiting for? Donate now! Click on our support page!
Good man.
God Bless You,
Pastor Magnus Bucks.
P.S. What does choke the chicken mean? Why do you bring animal cruelty into your deranged liberal fantasy?
Friday October 20
Ignorant Atheist
Pastor Bucks:
I don?t believe in God, but could you tell me please why do you thing that God hates Liberals?
Yours,
An Atheist
Dear Sir,
I’m sorry to hear that you don’t believe in God. That’s pretty much the worst thing a man can do on this earth and your reward will be an eternity of agony in Satan’s foul realm. My advice to you is simple: get believin’ get prayin’ and donate heavily to someone doing God’s work (ie STR.com!) so that God will indulge your past sins.
As for the second part of your question, the answer is simple. He hates them because they hate Him and try to stop everything that He stands for. However, I don’t like to get too involved in politics and that’s why I’m going to hand over to my good friends at STR.com for a more detailed answer.
May you find Him and may you love Him good,
Pastor Bucks
Thanks Pastor Bucks!
Your answer is correct of course but there is actually an even shorter answer. If this person does not believe in God, he/she could never understand why God hates liberals.
You have to be filled with God’s love to see the liberal hate. If you live inside the liberal hate you think it’s normal to hate God.
Right?
Shelley Goodman
Well yes…
God hates Liberals for the simple fact that they do not believe in Him. This is something that Liberals refuse to understand because they are so busy thinking the world revolves around them to stop and realize who created it in the first place. God didn?t call himself ?the Father? because it sounded nice. He called himself ?the Father? because that?s what he is and he ain?t the kind of Father that hangs out and plays Xbox with you and buys beer for your friends. He?s the old fashioned Father that ain?t afraid to take of his belt when you step out of line.
Billy Bob Neck
Monday October 15
Satanic anal sex fiend
Dear Sir,
I?m a self hating Devil worshipping Liberal half french / half german.
What can I do o make me like one of your proud Americans?
Please help me see the light
Joscelin
PS. My boyfriend would appreciate it as this is making me tense up and it makes anal (gay) sex more difficult
Dear Joscelin,
The first place to start is to change your name to something pleasing to God, such as Mary or Martha. Even though in Jesus? eyes Catholics are no better than Jews, they had a good idea in the concept of changing your name to rid yourself of your sinful past.
Secondly, get yourself an Exorcism. Logos Christian Fellowship offers a good Exorcism for about $50 but if you can afford more then you should give more. God loves a cheerful giver! You?ll need to fill out the application and have it notarized. Your application will be reviewed and a phone interview scheduled. If you truly need an exorcism (and it sounds like you do) be aware that they are about three months behind and do not perform them on Saturdays or Sundays.
Of course, I myself offer exorcisms with a unique personal and one hundred per cent guaranteed success rate. Drop me a line if you wish to discuss it further ? you’ll find my rates are very competitive for what a number of saved souls have declared the best service in God’s world. If you can hold on a while you might also like to look out for the soon-to-come STR.com online exorcism service, which promises to be a revolution in the fight against demons!
As to becoming an American, only Jesus can truly make that happen. Yes, you can immigrate to America and have the ?government? recognize you as a ?citizen of the United States ? but only Jesus can fill your heart with true American pride.
Once (or if) you?ve completed this process all thoughts of non-missionary and non-procreational sex will leave your mind and you will think only about Jesus and how best to help win the War on Terror. What a day that will be!!
?
Sunday October 15
Liberal in the family = Snake in the grass!
Dear Pastor,
I worry that my niece is becoming a liberal. The other morning I caught her putting a (non-brand name) Coca Cola (copy) she’d been drinking into a recycling facility even though that was further away than the good old fashioned American trash can on that street. Later on, she also admitted to me that she’d been to see that disgusting Al Gore film ironically called An Inconvenient Truth (I say ironic, because that man is an ugly liar!). She told me she was quite worried about something that isn’t happening called the Greenhouse effect and asked if I didn’t feel guilty about all the gas I burn in my Humvee. (Answer: No!)
Worst of all, I discovered her listening to the music of a horrible whiny fag called Morrissey last time I went round to visit her parents.
What should I do?
Yours briefly troubled, but knowing that Jesus will provide an answer before too long,Sam Johnston?
Dear Mr Johnston,
Shoot the bitch!
God Bless You,
Pastor Magnus Bucks
Hahaha! Only joking! See?! We Christians like to have a joke too. Of course, killing your cousin would present certain advantages in that it would prevent her from being led further down the slippery path to sin, but I believe it’s never too late to save a soul.
What you actually need to do is arrange an intervention. Talk to her parents and together you can defeat this demon occupying her. Cast the evil out using a simple process of starvation, sleep deprivation and repeated Bible reading. You just got to break down the resistance of the fiend inside her, so as you can talk to your cousin’s true mind. Tell her teachers that she won’t be in school for a while and settle down to sorting out her real education.
Shouldn’t take too long!
By the way, if the problem persists, you may want to employ a trained exorcist (I myself have defeated several demons at very reasonable rates ? just drop me another line if you’re interested).
?
?
Sunday October 15
Pauper!
Dear Pastor Bucks,
I’m poor. Can you help?
Sincerely,
Anon.
Dear Anon,
Well first of all you got to say who you are and stand up like a man. Don’t hide yourself from Jesus! He can see you anywhere and everywhere you go. In fact, I’d hazard a pretty high dollar bet that it’s because you’ve been hiding from Our Lord that He hasn’t smiled on you so far and made you so darned poverty stricken. Luckily, there are several things you can do if you want to get richer.
I know that this will help you Anon. And remember, if you follow His (ie Jesus the LORD’s) advice and you still stay poor, that’s because you’re probably doing it wrong! You got to try harder.
Amen.
Pastor Magnus Bucks
?
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Just drop a comment in the box below or send an email!
71 Comments so far
Leave a reply
Don’t be shy now!
Here’s mine, to get the ball rolling!
Dear Pastor,
I worry that my niece is becoming a liberal. The other morning I caught her putting a can she’d been drinking from into a recycling facility even though that was further away than the good old fashioned American trash can on that street. Later on, she also admitted to me that she’d been to see that disgusting Al Gore film ironically called An Inconvenient Truth (I say ironic, because that man is an ugly liar!). She told me she was quite worried about something that isn’t happening called the Greenhouse effect and asked if I didn’t feel guilty about all the gas I burn in my Humvee. (Answer: No!)
Worst of all, I discovered her listening to the music of a horrible whiny fag called Morrissey last time I went round to visit her parents.
What should I do?
Yours briefly troubled, but knowing that Jesus will provide an answer before too long,
Sam Johnston
Dear Pastor,
I have set up a website about office life http://www.ihatework.wordpress.com , inviting readers to write in and lay into their boss, tell their funniest stories about Christmas parties, away days, interviews and dismissals and generally have a ball. I just know that it’s the greatest site in the world, but I haven’t had many visitors yet. Can you think of a way of boosting my visitor numbers?.
Thank you in advance!
Sam Jordison
suck on a big chubby one you unfertile bitch
hookah
you sound like a liberal.
Pastor Bucks:
I don’t believe in God, but could you tell me please why do you thing that God hates Liberals?
What you actually need to do is arrange an intervention. Talk to her parents and together you can defeat this demon occupying her. Cast the evil out using a simple process of starvation, sleep deprivation and repeated Bible reading. You just got to break down the resistance of the fiend inside her, so as you can talk to your cousin?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s true mind. Tell her teachers that she won?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t be in school for a while and settle down to sorting out her real education.
Ermm, Pastor Bucks, do you know that this is against the law? Because if someone finds out and tells it to the government (or if she itself tells it to the government after the incidence) Sam, his aunt and his uncle will most probably go to jail. And his niece will be cared by the government or a new family meantime.
By the way, if the problem persists, you may want to employ a trained exorcist (I myself have defeated several demons at very reasonable rates ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¨ just drop me another line if you?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥re interested).
Sorry, but the exorcism and demon posession thingie has been debunked already.
1) Vote Republican.
Ermm, republicans are about giving more money to those who are already rich. He will most probably don?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t see one cent.
3) Donate
So he has no money. How could he be able to donate, then?
4) Work hard
Problem is, if there are no workplaces in the vicinity, you can work as hard as you won?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t, it won?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•t have any effect. Poverty is often a structural problem, not a personal.
I don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t believe in God, but could you tell me please why do you thing that God hates Liberals?
Yeah, I also wanted to ask that question.
The German Guy
IMPEACH BUSH!
Dear sir
I’m a self hating Devil worshipping Liberal half french / half german.
What can I do o make me like one of your proud Americans?
Please help me see the light
Joscelin
PS. My boyfriend would appreciate it as this is making me tense up and it makes anal (gay) sex more difficult
Dear STR,
i was wondering if you could help me i am a poor confused American muslim, for years now i have been struggling with my rampant homosexuality, recently every time i talk to a man i can’t help but stare at his crotch and imagine him naked, even my friends have started to notice, it affecting my social life.
But it has gotten really bad now my atheist European lover Hans has started hitting me and beating with a chain, that was made in China, whilst listening to Death metal music, because he wants me to vote liberal and watch hideous pornographic european films. I thought converting to Islam would make him happy but nothing seems to satisfy him, now he wants me to join him on peace marches. Now he has started to see other (black and european) men, a friend directed me to your site and said you could save my soul.
Your gratefully
Michael Hunt
Dear sir,
My brother likes to masturbate with bagels. How can I get him to stop?
Oh yeah BABY! You guys are awesome.
shelley you lying bitch no muslim could be called micheal. it is very obvioous that almost all of the letters here are forged
Dear Pastor,
I’ve got a problem with all these republican assholes stopping me and my buddies do what we want to do all the time.
Can you help me get rid of them?!?!?!?!!?!
greycell, I don’t think the letter from Michael is made up by Shelley. It’s far to outrageous. It is a fake name though, shorten Michael to Mike and say his full name fast.
Pastor Bucks, I am a devout Christian and God came down to Earth and told me that he hates me and is going make me take Satan’s place in hell.
Dear Pastor Bucks.
I think you are a stupid fuck, but let me ask you this.
Jesus’ parents were not married, correct? So he is a bastard, right?
Screw you!
Oh yes.
My girlfriend is a “negro” like you call African Americans all the time.
Am I going to hell now?
Scott
Thank you for your good advise, Pastor Bucks!
Dear pastor bucks. Had you been a real priest you would have been fired for your attitude. And if you are actually serious, which i find hard to believe, you’re bound for eternal damnation.
Your a problem shelley you beach whale!
I have many problems, but my biggest is that I recently gave oral sex to a priest. Am I damned for all eternity, or if I do it again will I go to heaven with my heavenly priest (it’s eight inches long a extremely thick)
Hi Pastor Bucks
I spend about 3 hours watching porn every day.
I noticed that in almost all porns the actors are screaming out “Oh God” during sex.
How do you explain that?
Do they have a special bond with God?
Hey pastor Bucks, Question, how much doe does the deer have? Answer, about two bucks. Your a bunch of weasels hiding your immoral culture of hate and death behind god’s righteousness. Your all frauds!!!! What pastor would align with a websight that is proud of killing people because of religious beliefs. When the leader of the death led you to your hate based on lies. Your a bunch of suckers and frauds.
Hey, I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥m Sam and I’d rather have my tongue super-glued to a lesbian’s twat, than listening to the bullshit you?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥re speaking of.
And that you and that gay think it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s possible to change him: I find it to be profoundly full of shit. An opinion put forth as true by a bunch of hypocritical, jealous, guilt-ridden, self-loathing, middle-aged, sexually frustrated, pseudo-intellectual fags who wish they were straight.
And if you ask me now what kind of homosexual I am, just let me tell you:
the kind that fucks men.
I like dick. I wanna get fucked by dick. I wanna suck dick. I like sucking dick. And I’m good at it, too.
I have to hand it to you, my perserverance is surpassed only by my narcissism.
And there you have the secret to my success.
And to anyone who takes pity or offense, I say judge yourself. It’s who I am.
And so I tune out self pity, it makes my dick soft.
Mind if I ask you a question, Shelley?
This book, you have to believe all of it, not just some of it, right?
So, do you like shrimp? Guess you do.
Because in Leviticus, a few scriptures before that man lying with man is an abomination one, it also says it’s an abomination to eat shell fish, and shrimp are shell fish, right?
And if you want to know what my point is, I believe the point is, if you can eat shrimp, we can eat cock.
Please don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t tell me that I need the Lord or I need to accept Jesus, because I do.
I accept Jesus, it?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s assholes like you, I have a problem with.
And I don?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t give a shit what God thinks about me.
He should worried about what I think of Him because in all these cold, dead universe we’re the only ones that exists.
Without us He’s nothin’.
I know you want to know how I could sell my soul to the devil:
I haven’t sold my soul, I’m just billing for time and expenses.
And besides: If I have spend eternity of eternities burning in hell, its better than spending one good day in heaven with you!
Where are my values? My principles? Drop to your knees and imagine a cock in your mouth, it’ll come to you.
You know how it is when you want cock. They’re the first things to go.
Shelley, I?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥m sure some day your gay friend will say to me: ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?you were right!?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?
By the way, my three favourite words after ?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ?nine inches cut?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥.
And at last a word of advice, next time you have nuts in your mouth, suck, don’t chew and please cover your teeth.
So if God will give me a second chance. I don’t wanna blow it, but you feel free to.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to hell.
by Qaf
Dear Reverend Bucks,
As a fervent Christian, I often spend hours staring at a crucifix on my wall beneath the American flag. My problem is that lately I’ve been having dirty thoughts as I gaze at Jesus’ rugged face, toned abs, luscious thighs, and obviously large package beneath his tattered loin cloth. Is there a way to make Jesus my friend again instead of my secret lover?
While browsing your site you mention that God hates librials because librials don’t belive in Him. This is compleatly false! I am an acitive member of my local young Democrates group and I belive in God. I love God! I go to church every Sunday. My young Democrates group is outstanding. Our goal is to make this contry into an accepting, safe place for all people no matter what religion, race, gender or sexual oriantaion they are. I know I have God’s support on this all because of our enormas success! Our goup is made up of so many differnt types of people-many are gay and bisexual and we even have a few baptist kids who joined after the rest of the school percicuted them for their religion. They have all become more socialy accepting people.We would never encourge them to abandon their religion of course.That would be a terrible crime.
I also found on your site somewhere that God hates Jews and Catholics. That’s a lie. Jesus is Jewish of course and and why would God hate Catholics? They worship him!
I don’t appreicate your comments about gays and libirals. Some of the best people I know are gay or libiral (or both). You ought do a lot of soul searching tonight and think Why does a person’s sexual prefrances or politcal veiws detremine they’re place in Gods eyes? You’ll find that they dont matter at all. What does matter is how you treat other people. Running a website condeming people for their differences doesn’t seem like a very good way to treat others does it? Think about it. Love 16 year old democrate/Catholic
Also you may want to correct your grammer on some of your pages.
after reading everythiong i have, ive decided that there are severl people that are just clearly insane, and say they love god, but spit in his face regularly. and most of these people are affiliated with this site, and run it.
Babe whats going on? Why havent you responded to my comment. I want to know what you think of my group. We all do. We have found youe site so educational about how republicans think. Now we know that you belive that people of the Islamic religion are called “Towel heads”, that God hates anyone who is not a republican and that you still use politicaly incorrect terms like “negro” and immature words like “wackadoodle”. It’s intersting to learn how you think of unfortunte,but still worthry mentally retared people as “stupid” and “useless”(they make the world a more loving place.)I’m glad that you have been so helpful to use. Now we know how bigets think. Thanks honey.
Love dearly the Catholic/Democratic/bi/teen
Every night Satan rapes me when i go to sleep..
…And I Love it
I have a question..
ignore the thing up there..
but um..
What do you think of The Beatles?
and Switchfoot?
Im German. You have a problem? Good. Didn’t think you did. How about this? How about every Christans severed head sitting o a plate? Hm? That sound good? I hope it does. GOD ID DEAD. America isn’t the best country you idiots. And, damn teh Republicans. They ruin everything. I recommend you get healed by Satan. Not “God”. You all deserve to die. MASTURBATE IF YOU WANT. THINK THOSE THOUGHTS IF YOU WANT. Do what you want. Don’t let “god” Dictate your life. Which doesnt belong to you it belongs to “him”
so i have a question for all to “republicans” and especially Pastor Bucks, if GOD gives us the choice to choose between believing in him or not, and IM ASSUMING that everyone of you believe GOD created man, therefore directly giving us the concept of CHOICE…why would GOD give us the choice to BE (and i use that very causually like im sure you use the words FAG, NIGGER, JEW, etc… cause all of you are educationally handicapped) gay or lesbian. I think your GOD doesnt give two shits about what the fuck you are but how you treat people…remember that concept ladies and gentlemen but of course you wouldnt because your iq is so low because your dad is your brother and your mas just a dumb hooka. peace and love to the gays! and death to all else…SODOMY RULES!
Hello Pastor. Although I am not a Christian, I would like to have my questions about God answered. Although I am an atheist, I am serious that I would like to have my questions answered. First off, if there is a god, why did he allow September 11 to occur. Secondly, what proof do you have there is a god? And finally, why is recycling bad? I thank you if you answer these questions.
ok I have a question
Do you think Richard Dawkins is the anticriste? Or is he just a scam (and i dont need to worry) created in a Linux computer as surgested here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QERyh9YYEis
If God made man in his image then why are there so many races in the world? Surely God isn’t Caucasian, African-American, Asian and Middle-Eastern all at the same time. Also why do you hate everyone who isn’t American? America is a bastard country, formed from the colonies created by British, French and Spanish settlers. Your people attacked and killed the Native Americans for no reason and forcefully introduced species of plants and animals that weren’t there before, whilst simultaneously wiping out existing species. And if God exists, why does he allow war to be waged in his name, when every Christian I know tells me that God is a being of peace. I personally don’t believe in one God in the heavens, but a pantheon of gods each with their own purpose. I also believe in the supernatural, such as werewolves, vampires and magic. Can you explain the fact that myths about these things have sprung up in places that had no contact with each other before man invented fast methods of travel between continents.
BTW, Jesus was a Jew because that was the religion of the area at the time. Christianity didn’t exist until after his death.
All what you?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•ve said is just the truth, but they?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•re so, so, SO blinded.
IF GOD EXIST HE WOULD HATE AMERICANS, there?Ǭ¨?Ǭ•s no doubt.
HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! FUCK YEAH! BURN ALL THE CHURCHES! KILL ALL THE CHRIST-LOVERS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Is this site for real? I doubt it. As a ordinary Social Democrat from secular communist Sweden this is hard to comprehend. Not even our own Christian Democrats (the most value-conservative political party in the Riksdag) refers to God in their political manifests. You’re so crazy I get scared. If this is representative for United States it’s no wonder 9/11 occurred. Yeah, and by the way… The former Swedish State Church (Lutheran) just said that they will support an act of blessing for homosexual couples in church within the upcoming sex-neutral marriage act. What about that? Tolerance is a wonderful thing…
Steinberger
“Social Democrat from secular communist Sweden”
You can stop writing right there. Sweden is wellknownd for communists, godlessnes, protecting terrorists and piracing the interlectual rights of american companys.
Hello,
I am writing this to express my deep concern for the state of affairs in America and the direction its ethics are taking.
Actually, I just wanted to tell you that sites like this are the reason that morally responsible people like myself sleep tight at night. As long as examples of idiotic extremism like yourself exist to show the potential horrors of blind, ignorant and selective faith, faithful catholics (there are about 1.2 billion of us) follow the true teachings of the church and go to heaven. I applaud you for your efforts in showing the world how not to be christian.
James Alexander Fisher,
I have no idea what you are talking about? The direction America takes is just great! It would be a hell of a lot better if Liberal America-haters would just shut up, though.
You need to ask yourself why things are going as great as they are: The unemployment on an all time low, the earning and spending on an all time high. America is healthy and strong! I suggest you shut up and leave if you don’t like success.
Kind regards,
Shelley Goodman
Dear Shelley
Why dont you respond to me anymore? I feel unloved.I have so many questions for you! I would like to know how you can support Bush after the phone tap crises. Or his lack of concern for Darfur? Or the WAR? He’s so horrible he makes me ill! I pray so hard for him to be impeached. I go to lots of protests too. I love America and I dont want to see it poisoned by Bush anymore.
Oh and why are Bono and Vegetarians on the “Hitlist”
Love your sweetest Hester!!
Hester… I agree with you, but dont you think the phone tap “crisis” was a bit of a joke? My Mother flipped out about it too. Do you really believe that Bush was sitting there listening to all of our phone calls? Really, who cares? I told my Mother that if Bush listened to one of her calls, he would either hang up or fall asleep like the rest of us do when she calls.
*smirk*
He might listen to our calls.
I mean there really isnt anything left for him to screw up.
So he might not have anything else to do.
And to Shelley..
Success???
Are you not aware that someday were going to go into another depression?
Susan, Sunny (theteenbigothchick is a friend of mine) I know he’s not listing to us, Its just around election time all the regestered democrates are going to get a lot of those pre-recored president (they call my house SO much during november. Its so annoying and it ties up the phone line) phone calls during dinner. But its really the principal of it all that angers me. I’d like to control the governments involvement in my life, not the other way around. Everyone should read 1984. Anyone who opposes Bush will love it.
Love Hester!!!
(I jest, of course, but there are a few things Id like you to point out about yourselves. Inconsistencies, etc.)
The bible says that I can only take slaves from neighboring countries. Do you support slavery? Why can/’t I have a Canadian/Mexican slave?
Is this website for real? or y’all just returded christians republicans?
Hester… “1984″ was required reading at the Catholic grade school that I attended back in the 70’s-80’s. I think I was in 6th grade when we had to read it.
Dear pastor
I’m not an us citizen (thank God), but i know that u are the most stupid people on this planet. U are a business man who takes advantage of this idiots by “donations”. I really hate your kind and i hope i will never see u in my country . Bye Bye
I never in my whole life thought i would see something like this… This site takes it too a whole new level.. pure obsessive paranoid madness.
you are an ignorant hypocrite! you claim to worship jesus. you are no christian. jesus’s teachings were about loving your neighbor and accepting others for who they are. people like you are the reason he was executed. people that are so ignorant and self-absorbed that they think no one else’s point of view matters. and they way i see it, if god didn’t want us to masturbate then he wouldn’t have made us able to!!!!!! if jesus were to come back to earth today and appear before you, you would shun and hate him and call him a sinner. you know why? because he wanted people to love each other and accept their differences. that is the exact opposite of what you are doing! so go ahead and tell me i’m going straight to hell for supporting the true values of jesus’s teachings. tell me i’m evil because i care about jesus’s teachings. YOU are the real sinner and god would be ashamed of you.
Hi
I have a problem. A friend of mine is starting to display signs of being posessed. She has started a website praising the deaths of millions of innocents and she doesn’t understand that the world isn’t the same as it was 60 years ago. The worst part is she is taking the lord’s name in vain! She says she is doing all this because God told her to do it!
This worries me and all of my parishoners and I hope you can help!
“Hi
I have a problem. A friend of mine is starting to display signs of being posessed. She has started a website praising the deaths of millions of innocents and she doesn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t understand that the world isn?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥t the same as it was 60 years ago. The worst part is she is taking the lord?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s name in vain! She says she is doing all this because God told her to do it!
This worries me and all of my parishoners and I hope you can help!”
Yes, and that friend’s name is SHELLEY!
“Reverend Magnus Bucks”
Reverend Big Money, roughly translated…
Very subtle =)
Dear Shelley,
I have a question about priests.
WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS THE ONES ON TV WHO RAPED CHILDREN.
There aren’t many other storys of rape that didn’t include a PRIEST.
Oh, there ‘close’ to god. NO. They’re close to CHILDREN and they need to GET THE HELL AWAY.
SINcerely,
Aimee
“[STR.com readers please note, the pastor did this without the benefit of Jesus the censor! That?¢‚Ǩ?°?É‚Äû?ɬ¥s how far he will go for his readers]”
Can I have that job?
phew atleast no i knwo this website is joke man i was actually really worried there for a second lol
I just wanted to thank you for your website; you are truly doing God’s work.
I must admit, if you hadn’t have pointed out the evils of masturbation, I would have jacked myself off into Hell. Yes, I was a chronic masturbaster for years; No one could stop me from commiting the vile sin of Onanism.
One thing I learned; masturbating in public. I didn’t know it was illegal. Boy, was I embarrassed. After spending a morning in court & paying a 300 dollar fine, I realized that Satan had a grip on my life, as well as on my johnson. Does Democrat Barak Obama masturbate? Constantly, I would imagine; God hates a pud-pounder.
I have heard that President George W. Bush has declared the White house a ‘masturbation-free zone.’ I always knew he was a Godly man.
The site is back to it’s lame-o old self. Well time for me to put my old face back on I guess.
Notice on the top entry, how they like totally walked around my question, “is a bisexual female “bad” or “sinful” if they are dating a male?”
Fuck you,necula!I’m fucking tired of over 1/3 of the world thinking all Americans are stupid because of Bush,or these assholes,Damn it!I swear to God I will slit your fucking throat,I’m so pissed!
Peace out from the war-hungry leader of a dying people,Mandalore.
Pun pun, calm down Mandalore.
Dear Shelley,
I am an abortion provider, but some of my clients are fundamentalist Christians who picket outside the abortion clinic. I also have some patients who are very active in the Moral Majority and National Right to Life. In fact, I think your daughter was my patient, but I’m not 100% sure. I want to be able to console my patients about how Jesus might still love them, but since, I’m Jewish, I don’t know for sure. The question is, could these young women still go to heaven if they had one abortion, but prevented many, many more by telling others how evil abortion is and by trying to make it illegal?
Please help for the sake of my patients!
Dear who ever
I am a boy that wants to be a girl but I belive it was not god that made a mistake it was the devil
I think the devil has plans for me and made me a boy but only the outside
The reason I belive this is I have dreams at night of being turn into a girl
I also have the brain the same size of a normal girls brain
I think the devil turn my XX cromazon into XY Cromazon even the pastor at my church thinks this as he say that it been know that the devil would mess with a person at birth to change there Gender from one to the other
I want to know if God would hate me if I had a sex change to become a female
I know it will not change me back into a XX Cromazon girl with the abilty to have kids but i think god would understand And Love me
I have lived my hole life as a boy
Thank you Rose
@Rose just wanted to warn you ahead of time hun shelley is gonna say yes on god hating you she has a habit of saying god hates certain people just trying to help you out hun please don’t get offended just trying to help :).
and rose hun just let you know ahead of time she’ll probably tell you also that you will burn in hell me and my other fellow STR bashers know this stupid troll bitch like a book just wanted to help you out :D.
I was wondering, I read 2 posts at the top of the page, one stated about a man who was 19 and had a relationship with a bi-girl. Thus being said, he never had “sex” with her, his relationship could have been 100% mental.
And stating that the pastor said he was going to hell is obviously in a different bible than the one i grew up with, because it states that God is a forgiver and that if you repent your sins and turn away and truely am sorry then he will forgive you. To say that this man is not sorry is ridiculous because he obviously is, and if i am correct, it states in the bible that only God can judge men and that no man knows whether another is going to hell or not. So saying that he is, is in turn, a sin itself.
The second was why do people scream “Oh God!” during sex. Well, I know for a fact it is not their souls reaching out for help, because for one, my wife of 6months (got married before i left for Iraq) says that many times during her climax in sex. So, to put it another way, they say “Oh God” not because they are crying out in anguish, but because it feels good to them and taht is one phrase in the English language that is also used for both happyness, pleasure, excitement, or sorrow. Plus, sounds are also extremely neccisary in sexual conduct. the prase “Oh God” allows the viewers to think that he/she is about to climax and thus they are further sexually aroused.
Thanks for listening!
just felt like clarafying(sp?)
“He asked me to let you know that any extra-marital affair, especially one with an un-repentant sinner is itself sinful.”
I wasn’t married, and how do you expect there *not* to be “extra-marital affairs” if that’s your definition? Do you expect one to marry the moment they meet? Not my dating life, I date then marry.
“his relationship could have been 100% mental.”
As it was. I never had the chance to make it a physical relationship as she died of cancer.
That’s right! Kill the liberals!(sarcasm)
“I made this joke, only I really kind of meant it, but I didn’t…”
[...] P.S. To read the views of Pastor Bucks on masturbation click on our Problems Page! [...]
Dear Pastor, on the first question you say:
“I personally have no problem with you, but unfortunately you are going to Hell. It’s not me who says that - it’s God.”
And on then to the Mr Johnson you say:
“but I believe it’s never too late to save a soul.”
Are you going to hell for being a liar?