STR : THE FREEDOM BLOG

According to the socialists who make Ubuntu Linux, a new version of their somewhat popular operating system is to be released tomorrow: It’s been just over a year since Microsoft released Windows Vista ? the question on everybody’s lips is have the Ubuntu people managed to catch up with Microsoft’s flagship product? Is Linux finally ready for the desktop or is it still little more than a plaything for unemployed nerds?

Linux, as we all know, began life as a hobbyist operating system ? invented by conspiracy theorist Richard ?Stalin? Stallman so that he could have an operating system that was just as unfriendly as confusing as his word-processor ?e-Macs?.

In recent years Linux has suffered a major set-back following the shock revelations form SCO Group, whose software had been stolen wholesale and incorporated into illegal distributions of Linux. For the past five years, the overwhelming effort of Linux developers has gone into removing SCO’s intellectual property from the Linux operating system ? but as the threat of litigation has subsided many users are asking once-again if Linux is a serious contender?

Unfortunately, the answer is mostly a no: We downloaded the latest ?beta? of Ubuntu’s operating system and were once again very disappointed: It looks almost exactly the same as the previous version lacking any of the visual style, reliability and advanced features of the industry standard Windows Vista.

We decided to look under the hood of Linux to see if this ‘Samizdat’ operating system concealed any notable secrets. According to the anonymous ?.t.xt? file that came with the disk this OS had a new feature called ?Completely Fair Scheduler? - after a great deal of research we were able to conclude that this was an attempt to bring the principles of Marxism onto your PC. The Linux nerds are upset that some people have faster computers than others, so this new feature takes processing power from fast computers and donates them to people who have slower computers.

If you object to this communism, tough luck: The so-called ?Completely Fair Scheduler? is incorporated into the ?kernel? ( which is the Linux equivalent of the MS Dos layer in older versions of windows). This ?feature? alone is enough to frighten serious users away from the upstart operating system. Unfortunately there is far more cause for alarm:

One of the great things about Windows is the ease of obtaining powerful utilities and applications. In addition to hundreds of great titles available on CD-ROM you can download awesome shareware applications:

Simply click on Setup.exe and most installers will instantly deploy your chosen software, sometimes with cool bonus productivity apps that enhance your browsing experience. In comparison with Microsoft’s common-sense approach, pandemonium reigns on the Linux platform.

The only way to install software is via a tool called the ?package manager? which is confusingly also called ?Synaptic?. This works according to a similar principle as a communist super-market: You have a limited range of software which has been chosen on a purely ideological basis rather than functionality. If you want to ?think different?, it’s tough-luck again: Another obvious fail for the ‘contender’.

To make matters worse, in order to install an application you must be ?root? which entails memorizing a series of confusing passwords. By contrast Windows allows any user to install the applications they need to do their work ? a wise productivity gain that endears the flexible NT platform to IT departments the world over.

Finally we notice that Ubuntu Linux is the first OS to come bundled with software that runs Bit-torrent: As we previously reported this is software used by European pirates to rip off American industry and steal bandwidth from telcos to distribute porn. Once again we should compare Window’s sensible bundling strategy, in which only basic system tools such as a web-browser are integrated into the core-operating system. What on earth possessed the Linux kernel developers to add ?low-level? support for BitTorrent, unless of course this is a European plan to incriminate us all.

In summary, Ubuntu Linux is still not yet ready for the Desktop. Our recommendation is to take a rain check on this release: Commercial and educated power-users will no doubt avoid this system because of it’s dangerous ideological bias, lack of quality software and out-dated technology.

We do feel that the new release of Ubuntu Linux will have moderate success playing to it’s core-audience: It will provide an entertaining diversion for hackers in-between prison sentences.